kc5jck: Unfortunately, it is a fairly common situation for one spouse to not “get it” the same way. It can be hard for someone who is not ADD themselves to recognize and realize that an ADDer can’t just “try harder” to do things. Especially if they are overwhelmed and/or stressed out, like many of the parents we work with. Interestingly enough, it’s also sometimes hard for an ADD adult who has struggled in life and figured it out to understand their child.
I’d encourage you to continue to try and find ways to share information with her – The TotallyADD video “ADD & Loving it” is a great place to start, as a light-hearted view of a challenging situation. We have an e-book available on our site called “ADHD in Reality” that would also be helpful if you think she would be willing.
Also, whenever possible, I’d encourage you to acknowledge and “own” your part of the situation when your ADD gets in the way. Even when behaviors are “normal,” a demonstration of apology or an attempt to make a change to accommodate can go a long way.
thanks for your comment!
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