[RichD73]

Hi Scattybird and Blackdog,

(I like the names, makes me feel like I’m in dances with wolves). The confidence issue is central. The capacity for self-sabotage is rife for people with ADD. History has taught us that things don’t come as easily. We bury ourselves in the detail and miss the big picture routinely. It’s disheartening but attendant to that is the capacity to personalize comments you hear. We do need to sell ourselves or at least not jump to self-reproach the second something goes wrong. I have immediately taken responsibility for things that weren’t that bad or partly the responsibility of others out of a sense of misplaced guilt. I suspect that we are harder on ourselves and that others struggle too but cover themselves better. They are also genuinely more relaxed. Depression can be co-morbid with ADD, a fact with me. This pushes one into black and white thinking whereupon selling oneself becomes impossible. Maybe start with telling yourself when you’ve done a good job and should something not go to plan, recount all the time you commit to your job on a daily basis. That works for me. When I realize how much time I dedicate to getting the job done I forgive myself the glitches. I’m human, I can only do so much and, crucially, THEY’RE lucky to have somebody who cares as much as i do about getting it right.

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[RichD73]

I started watching it and was struck by how he lists his accomplishments (i.e. what his various roles are). They’re very impressive but for many with ADD (particularly the inattentive type) no accomplishments accrue. Instead one looks at these super humans with extensive resumes compounding feelings of worthlessness. His was a particular experience of ADHD and good luck to him. However, for many the checklist of roles wouldn’t have gotten off the ground BECAUSE they have ADD. It ceases to be so colorful at that point.

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[RichD73]

I find that socially I’m good. I don’t know what my IQ is but I completed my phd in my thirties after a childhood of inattentive (‘needs to concentrate more’) schooling. I had a common issue touched on above and in other threads; I was highly qualified by my late twenties to MA level but couldn’t get a job that mirrored that. This continued after the doc until I was nearly 40, bagging my first role on the average industrial wage (a milestone!). My confidence was undermined by a sense that I wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t see my strengths. This was complicated by being in the arts field (precarious enough) which is all about selling yourself and building connections. I was disastrous at both!

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