ADHD? Try Harder? Are you kidding!!! – A Rick Green Rant

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ADHD adults have spent their lives working their hearts out to keep up. And rarely succeeding as well as they believe they can. A common expression they hear is “Try Harder”

When we were making the film ADD & Loving It, one of the most prolific authors on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Dr. Edward Hallowell told us…

It’s like,  That’s why I was so restless in school!  I had ADHD.  As Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo called their book on ADHD…

Then comes the realization,  “I had ADHD.  And no one recognized it?  No one figured it out?  They just told me to try harder?
That was the best they could do?  Try harder?”  Imagine hiring a voice coach, because you want to be an opera star and they say, “Try harder.”  Oh great!  Thanks!
“Hey, you with the red hair, be more brunette!”

Along with the anger comes sadness.

In all it’s splendorous variations…. sorrow, self-pity, woe, misery, bitterness.
With me it was regret.

“I had ADHD.  And no one recognized it?  I could have been rich by now! or  Steven Spielberg! I could have dated dozens of Hollywood starlets.”  I still like to go there now and then. “Wallow wallow wallow.”

Here on the website you’ll see some amazing stories from people sharing what they’re going through.  It’s profoundly moving.   But it’s also where they are NOW. It doesn’t mean what they aren’t feeling isn’t real.

You hear a sound in the night, at the window, you’re scared… you realize it’s a branch being blown by the wind, you’re not scared. Your pissed at someone for not spotting your ADHD. Later you think, well, almost everyone didn’t believe it was back real. And they had bigger concerns. They had a lot on their plate. I wasn’t easy on them… Eventually, perhaps, yet another feeling. Forgiveness.

I mean, our feelings are so fickle.

Fifty percent of couples who vow to love each other till death do them part, end up falling out of love, sometimes into hate and anger and murderous rage.  And then some of them reconcile and fall in love again.
Feelings are tricky.  Have em.  Allow em to come out.  But take em with a grain of salt.
Especially the extreme ones like anger, cause later on, trust me, when you see the situation from a new perspective, you’ll be apologizing.
“You were late cause you stopped to help a man who has having a cardiac arrest.  Oh, sorry about the message I left on your phone…   Well there’s no need to be angry about it!”
There’s a great piece of common sense advice for when you are angry or upset or emotional… Silently count to ten before you speak.  Give yourself time to calm down.
For ADDers, all you may need to do is, “Try to count to ten.”
I don’t believe in that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity thing…

One… Two… Three… Four… Four?  Wasn’t something happening at four?  It’s after four.  I know, the ice cream place opens at four.

Who wants to go get Ice Cream?  I’m getting the hot fudge…

12 Replies to “ADHD? Try Harder? Are you kidding!!! – A Rick Green Rant”

  1. Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over that shirt. ;-P

    Sometimes, I think we need to be told to “try softer”. Because “trying harder” only gets us more flustered, which makes the Screw-Up Fairy work overtime.

  2. The problem with me and counting to ten is that when I’m in that sort of moment, I can never remember that I’m supposed to count to ten.

    I’m such a problem child, I know.

  3. Hahaha—I AM an opera singer, and love the analogy. It makes me realize that I’ve gone through many a coaching (with often fabulous coaches), with so much “tryhardertryhardertryharder” going through my head, that I couldn’t hear the great advice being given me!

  4. I keep coming back to watch this video, not for trying to control my feelings(although, that does work, thank you), but to convince that little voice that still tells me: “Hey, you’re not really ADHD, it’s all just in your head.”
    It’s the counting to ten, I can’t, I tried last night again, while I was waiting for sleep. This is how it went:
    “One….wait what am I supposed to count? Sheep I suppose..I wonder if they have to be white, or since it’s my mind, can I make them any colour?…”

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