Classic ADD moments

[felicityc]

You know those times where you feel like a walking cliche?

Not the times  where you feel stereotypically dumb or stupid, but more those moments that you feel like saying “Oh God I am so ADHD it is not funny, but really is funny”

I wanted to share a couple of those

I have an awesome best friend who knows when to laugh at something I do and when to hug me. We are walking down the street and I was saying “That is the textbook definition of…” as we turn a corner I see some clouds that were either really stormy or pretty (see: shiny) and said” Hey look at those clouds”
She lost it, almost rolling on the floor laughing, I was confused until I realised how it sounded. “That is the textbook definition of hey look at those clouds”

That was 6 years ago and is now her textbook definition of my ADD. I never did remember what the textbook definition was.
I was travelling with my Dad and while at a store (JayJays) he found these shirts that had catchphrases or things about mental disorders on them. One of them was ‘I don’t have ADD I just… oh look a rabbit!’ So of course we bought one each.

Later on in the trip I am taking a video while Dad is driving of the damage from a catastrophic bushfire in Victoria (Australia). As we are driving down you can hear me commenting, “There is less blackened area now which is good to… oh look the horses” as my hands automatically move with my eyes to stop on the horses in a paddock.
There has never been such a clear visual demonstration of how my thoughts work, or one that supported that shirt so well.

So they were the best of my walking cliche moments, I am interested to hear what other cliched moments people have had. This site is so much fun!

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[blackdog]

LOL 😀 Thank you so much for posting this @felicityc. It just brightened my morning. It’s these little moments that make life with ADD so wonderful. And I really want one of those shirts.

Let’s see, classic moments….

The single biggest cliché for me has to be “easily distracted by shiny objects”.

One time I was leaving a charity bingo that I volunteered at with a couple of other volunteers. It was late night and it was snowing. I happen to look up when we were walking under a street light and the snow flakes falling past the light looked like little orange sparks and I thought it was so cool. I stopped and just stood there staring up at it and laughing.

One time at work I was talking to a friend and a customer came up. I rang up his order, took his money….and in the cash drawer I noticed an old penny and thought “oh, I wonder how old it is”. I was standing there examining it, looking for a date, when I caught my friend out of the corner of my eye, frowning at me. Then saw the customer out of the corner of my other eye standing there waiting for his change.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Hilarious indeed. Or it is when you can let it be.

When Ava and I are on the road, and she is driving, which she tends to do more of, especially on long trips, I do the ‘calling out thing’. Just chatter. “Oh, a train.” “57 Chevy!” “Wow, a Llama farm.” (There seem to be more and more of those around… okay, I’m digressing.)

But every time I point out something, or read a sign, a little part of me thinks, “ADHD and Cows!” And I have tiny flash of Danny DeVito in Throw Momma From the Train, when he’s telling Billy Crystal he’s murdered his wife, and then points at a billboard, “Oh, cows!”

Whereas when I’m driving and Ava sees something or reads a sign, I never think ADHD. But then she tends to point out farm animals and pretty houses. I tend to comment on machines, vehicles, and weird stuff.

Also, I read signs aloud. Does anyone else do that? Not interesting signs. Just signs. “Bob and Beth’s Cafe.” “See Santa’s Village”, “Azaleas 50% off.”

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[sdwa]

I love “that’s the textbook definition of hey look at those clouds.” That would make a great t-shirt. Or a great line in a song.

Not funny, but the other day when I wrote some short comments to another thread, I got the idea to write responses in haiku…and who but an ADHDer would suddenly become obsessed with haiku for no reason and spend hours goofing around trying to write them? And why do others not share my enthusiasm? That is not an ADHD moment, it’s an ADHD afternoon. 😉

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[blackdog]

“OH! I WANT THE CHICKEN!!!”
The strangest thing I have ever blurted out while sitting in the passenger seat of a car. It happened this afternoon when we were driving past a new antique store that just opened up. They had some things sitting outside and one of them was a a big metal chicken on a spring from a playground. You know, the ones that you sit on and rock back and forth. There were two horses like that in the park I used to play in when I was a kid and it was my favourite thing to do.

 

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[Patte Rosebank]

This happened long before my family had ever heard of ADHD, or learned that Mom and I both have it…

When I was about 8, we took a trip to British Columbia.  Mom & Dad rented a car, and Dad drove us all over the place.

One day, we’d stopped at a Dairy Queen, and were devouring our treats in the car as we roared down the Trans-Canada Highway. My Peanut Buster Parfait was so big that it melted before it was even halfway done. I didn’t want to finish it, so Dad told me to pass it forward to Mom, so she could throw it out the window.

Now, we’d been a boating family ever since I was 3, and one of the first things you learn on a boat is, never throw anything INTO the wind, because it’ll come back, all over you. But, in the heat of the moment, Mom forgot this most basic bit of knowledge.

She threw the cupful of melted brown sludge FORWARD, and it instantly blew back and covered the sleeve of her WHITE sweater, from wrist to shoulder. She was so enraged that she blurted out the first word that popped into her head:  “SH*TTYF**KIN!”

We’d never heard a compound-swear-word before, and certainly not that one.  We kids exploded with laughter.  And Dad had to pull over, because we (and he) were laughing so hard, we couldn’t breathe.

Mom, on the other hand, was so angry that she got out of the car and stomped around at the side of the road, yelling out her new word, over and over.  And guaranteeing that it would become a permanent part of our vocabulary.

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[blackdog]

I was going to start a new thread for this one, but I decided it fits well enough here.

You know you have ADD when:

Two ambulances, a firetruck and two police cruisers suddenly show up and park all over the place out in front of your house. You know you didn’t call them so you go outside to see where they are going,which turns out to be two houses down from yours.  You then forget all the important things you were planning to do and stand outside just staring at all the flashing lights while waiting for any sign of what is happening.

You really know you have ADD when:

They leave one of the ambulances behind and your first thought is “Ooh, I wonder if they left it unlocked. I could play with the siren!”  

You really, really know you have ADD when:

After it is all over and everything is gone (except the one ambulance that is still driving you to distraction) instead of going and doing all those very important things, you come here to type this post.

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[Patte Rosebank]

Why is it so easy for me to picture this happening?

And why am I wondering about the logistics of booking the necessary emergency vehicles and a film-crew, to turn this into a video segment?

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[blackdog]

So, I went to my doctors’ appointment today at 2:30. When we arrived Husband noted that the parking lot had very few cars in it, which was surprising because usually we can’t find a space.

As I got on the elevator I was thinking it probably wasn’t busy because it’s Friday. Then I started to think, as I exited the elevator, that it was strange that they gave me an appointment on Friday afternoon….Maybe they have started opening the office on Friday afternoons again?

I got to the office and there on the door was a sign: OFFICE CLOSED FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

I turned around, got back on the elevator, and thought “That’s strange. I know the card said September 30th…..And today is the 30th……Isn’t it?….Hmmm, maybe it’s not the 30th???”

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[dithl]

@blackdog: *groan* commiserating….

ADD is funny. Until it’s not. Thusly:

“Ha, ha!” she said. “I forgot my wallet at work. But our tickets are being held in my name at the door. If they ask for I.D., I guarantee I can talk our way in – it’s a show about ADD, after all, ha, ha!”

And she laughed and was happy.

“What a perfect parking spot!” she said. “Just around the corner from the — wait-a-minute-that’s-not-the-theatre-we’re-supposed-to-go-to….”

“Ha, ha!” she said. “That’s funny, my memory played tricks on me and I drove to the wrong theatre. Oh, well, lucky it’s a warm night and it’s only an extra block to walk to the right place.

And she laughed and was happy.

And the nice people at the door let her in and she had fun at the show.

And then she went home and said, “sure, I will put the stew away” and she was happy because they wouldn’t have to cook dinner the next night because they had *planned* ahead of time and made a big, full crockpot of stew.

And then she went to bed and was happy and had a good but short sleep.

And then she woke up and was so so so so TIRED.

And then he said, “We’ll need to pick up something for dinner on the way home tonight because the stew has been sitting out all night.”

Now it wasn’t funny anymore. She was soooooo mad at herself. She was SURE she had put the stew in the fridge, but she hadn’t. She had forgotten, and now a whole pot of food with a whole package of meat had gone bad. And all his work preparing supper was for nothing. How could she made such a STUPID, expensive mistake?

See? ADD is so, so, so funny!

Until it isn’t.

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[Patte Rosebank]

That show must have been amazing, for it to make you forget all about the stew!

At least you didn’t forget a whole pound of bacon in the bottom of your shopping-trolley for a week. By the time I found it, it was ready to stand up and walk to the store by itself.

When things like that happen to me, first I unleash some of the most “colourful” words I know. (This really helps get rid of the frustration!)

Next, I remind myself that if everything had gone smoothly, it wouldn’t have given me a story to tell.

And then, I try to find the best (funniest) way to tell that story.

So don’t think about the stew. Think about the wonderful show you saw, and the terrific time you had, and tell us about that.

Because we’re dying to know all about it!

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[blackdog]

@dithl It is hard to see the humour in some things. Like the nice package of boneless chicken breasts that I bought a few days ago when it was on sale that I am about to go throw in the garbage because it is stinking up the fridge.

Husband was going to put it in the freezer when we got home from the store and I said “no, no, not the freezer, the fridge” because it’s a big package and I wanted to divide it up before freezing. And every time I opened the fridge door I would see it sitting there and think “I have to get that in the freezer before it goes bad”.

Too late.

I have done this more times than I can count. Sometimes it never makes it to the fridge. Other times I will take something out of the freezer to get to something behind it then walk away and leave it sitting on top of the freezer.

And I leave leftovers out all night too. And I’m always sure that I put them away too.

The only thing you can do is forgive yourself and try to do better the next time. And find what humour you can in it.

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[Robbo]

I just found this reply that I forgot to post on some other forum (here). I just found it while opening a new word document for some other project that I forgot now that I’m here reading about all you goofie peoples funny mini adventures, that I can relate to (that’s why they’re so funny to me)

Great topic, huh you guys?

I was reading about using a timer and realized I could use the timer on my little toaster oven (maybe just in the winter when it’s cold) I don’t struggle with being late anything at all like I used to. It feels like a huge victory too… it’s still possible for me to end up running late. Especially if I do anything that sounds like I’m bragging. But I can honestly proclaim myself to be “prompt” and even have displayed the ability to shut up and listen in social situations recently.

It’s almost a dang miracle!. Nearly…
Hmph! Grammarly doesn’t think “dang” is a word.

Yes indeed, I’m even letting Grammarly nit pick on each and every one of my posts here and on facebook. It can be a little bit annoying because I have to look up things like “conjunctions”, but I’m slowly and surely learning a few more of the and outs of writing, and doing it a little bit more correctly… more or less… (&)

PS I just checked out the “Snorgtees” link and they’ve got a lot of cool shirts. So take a look and remember that when you click on the links here at TotallyADD you help them to send some cash that helps pay the kind folks that work so hard to keep TotallyADD alive. Now smile and grin like a fool.

PPS This next thing is copied from somewhere At TotallyADD, (I think…) I copied it because it made me grin and laff like a fool.

“You may just be a restless, impatient, anxious, driven, mercurial, moody, forgetful, distracted, motor-mouthing, mind wandering, space cadet who never finishes anything, can’t do paperwork, doesn’t listen, and self-medicates with caffeine, cannabis, and cigarettes”.

PPPS  And this line from sdwa made me crack up

That is not an ADHD moment, it’s an ADHD afternoon!. 

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[kc5jck]

@blackdog – about food left out overnight instead of a “when in doubt throw it out” I’m more of a “if its too good to lose add more booze” kind of cook.

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[blackdog]

@kc5jck– Technically I suppose anything is safe to eat as long as it’s cooked to a high enough temperature. But I have to  stick to the doubt/out philosophy I’m afraid. I can take chances with my own health but Mom is more vulnerable. I’m pretty sure Husband is invincible. He couldn’t have survived eating his mother’s cooking as long as he did if he wasn’t.

@Robbo -Congrats on conquering the eternal punctuality problem. As for grammar…I have no idea what a “conjunction ” is and likely never will.

 

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