ADD and religion

[allan wallace]

Opps, sorry, I inadvertently hit the wrong key…

When I was 30 I recognised that unless some discipline came into my life I’d be dead, so I sincerely asked God to do something with me. I hoped that he would change me and give me some stability, but all that I encountered were dull hypocritical bores that were quick to judge and condemn. Of all the years of attending the full spectrum of churches I’ve met less than a dozen people who seem to live by the principles that they preach. I am just starting to go again, but as I have an inherent distrust of people I expect that I’ll be disappointed again, as I am reluctant to get to know people too well. I invariably offend people just by speaking my mind, and I find it impossible to pretend to like people if they are annoying, or boring me unto death. Yet, I shall continue with church as I hope that it can become a meaningful part of my life…

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[Anonymous]

I’m a little late to this party, but anyways…. Didn’t realize the initial post was a year old. Any how….

I can understand where he was coming from. I went through the same grind of going to a catholic mass with a priest that just didn’t inspire me. Still, I continued week after week because, despite the difficulties, the experience itself always left me in a better mood. When my add shut the priest out, I found it a peaceful place to work out other problems.

Then, ironically, the embarrassment of an ugly divorce left me looking for a new church. I wasn’t kicked out, I just found myself obsessed in believing people were staring at me (the would be the OCD). It forced me to find something new, away from where I lived.

Finally found a 7pm mass on a college campus. I just find my private spot, and find myself enjoying a far more intellectual, yet upbeat, sermon week to week. It’s become my way of winding down after a weekend, I have no where else to be, nothing left to do for the weekend. I guess the point is, take the time to find something that fits your style. There isn’t just one priest out there. And for me, one of the biggest things it the actual time of the mass. For my brain, something to finish up the weekend is the perfect fit. I refuse to go to Saturday mass, for whatever reason…

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[Ginniebean]

I think there’s a trap for people who have adhd in following any spiritual path, be it religion or some ad hoc “Ithrewittogethermyselfandcallitspiritual” and the trap is, that religion/spirituality deal specifically with what are called virtues. Adhd is often seen as moral failure, and thru our lives we’re shamed for this moral failure, and we grow up with adhd guilt. Religion/spirituality can reinforce these ideas, and we cut ourselves no slack, make no adjustment in our expectations of ourselves.

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[allan wallace]

Hmm, interesting Ginniebean. That hadn’t occured to me…when my wife and I only had one kid, and she was quite a new baby we went on a church camp. It was with a very conservative Protestant Church, and I ended up embarrassing my wife and I…okay, the crazy laughing that brought a solemn prayer meeting to a shambolic end had been building up for a few days. It started with ‘The Stepford Wiveish’ hovering in and around the kitchen, almost as if there was a silent ‘who can act like like the most submissive wife’ competition. This observation was only re-inforced by the way the Pastors and Elders would grimly stalk into the hall. It was fascinating as the low murmurs evaporated into silence at the arrival of the cortege…all these guys needed was sackcloth and ash to demonstrate the sunniness of their dispositions! Oh, and maybe Oliver Cromwell masks while clumping along in those buckle shoes from the Middle Ages! Anyway, most annoying of all was this old bastard with a whistle who seemed to have the campsite under 24 hour surveillance, for every time the whistle blew the campers had to converge to the hall where he would express his latest disappointment of The Flock’s failure to adhere to the Camp Rules….The Nuremberg Trials were a drag compared to the shocking admonishments that I heard over those few days…a few that spring to mind are the failure of all people to return dirty dishes and cutlery to the kitchen, how children were not permitted to play any ball games unless there were adults present, but the best one, or the one that I remember most vividly was the way that his voice quivered one morning when admonishing the unknown offender that had been heard urinating just outside the sleeping quarters in the dead of night when there was a perfectly functional communal toilet and shower block just 50 metres or so away….I’ll wager that the perpetrator was quite relieved that some teenage boys began to nervously look around accusingly at one another as wary parents cast their progeny searing looks 😆 Anyway, on the last night as we had small group prayers I kept hearing about some baby in Fiji from The Missions that had been announced earlier. I had tuned out and didn’t hear the scoop, so as the people from within my group prayed I deduced that a baby had died, that it was a tragic accident, and then that it had happened when a coconut had fallen from a tree…thus as I was putting all these pieces together, I kinda visualised a cartoon in my mind and started to giggle. just a little hee hee to start with every 10 seconds or so. My wife nudged me and shot me a look….anyway, once I had started she started. We couldn’t stop, and the crazy thing was that the people just kept praying! Eventually it ended up with us both laughing so much that they had no choice but to stop. The grumpy looks drew profuse and embarassed apologies blaming tiredness etc. but as they were just pausing to make us aware that we should compose ourselves we sorta stopped….as soon as the next prayer started I felt the big bellylaugh coming and dived from my chair through the door of our unit and seized the sleeping baby so that I could shove my face into her belly and dearly hoping that her screaming would start before my big laughter! I’m getting the hurry up! Um, obviously the actual event that occured was a terribly heartbreaking tragedy, and it goes without saying that it’s not funny, but that silly ‘lil cartoon that I saw in my head was bloody hilarious! 😳

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[kc5jck]

I can relate. I wonder if there is anyone on this site that hasn’t gotten the giggles during some such similar otherwise solemn occasion.

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[allan wallace]

Gee whiz, I forgotten that I’d already trawled this thread! I juat re-read the whole lot, and then saw my response at the end! 🙄

Anyway, I have had a lifelong fascination for churchy spiritual matters, but I’m convinced that it’s all bullshit. I apologise to the Catholics for pissing in the Holy Water as a kid…for me it was just for a giggle. I have been across the spectrum of churches, and find them all flawed. I was reading about some Hindu stuff the other day, and so much of it seemed like Christianity….*yawn*…a crock of shit! ‘Um, so God decided to appear in person as his own Son, and then offer himself up as the visa fo glory, eh? Just believe, if you will, that the terrible things that you did are the reason that, um God, is nailed to some big sticks on a hill, eh?’ Gimmee a break….I go to church every few weeks, and I’m not really sure why. I think it’s because I get some kind of perverted buzz out of observing people being all churchy, when it’s blatantly obvious to me that they’re all, with maybe less than a handful of exceptions, just deluded hypocrites…at least that small number look like they believe in what they’re doing…. 😆

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[shutterbug55]

This was another one that I have been thinking about. WoW! it’s been a year?!?!

I was talking to the pastor of our local church. He had come to my house to see if everything was OK. I had not been in church for a while and he wanted to know why.

I told him it was because church for me was torture. I do not feel peace, comfort or anything even close to joy, when I have to expend so much energy to pay attention to the speaker. SO many distractions! Kids crying, people moving around, sounds, movements… so many things to check out. Then my mind wanders… Before I know it, it is over, I have missed the message, and I now have to deal with the press of people who are trying to see the pastor and get past the people who want to leave. Can anyone say “People Jam”?

It leaves me drained. Beyond belief… so drained. Meds don’t help, my fidget stone doesn’t help, And to top it all off, my leg is stiff and sore from all the knee bouncing. For a borderline Agoraphobe, it is absolute torture. So I stopped going. God understands. He gave me this brain.

Trying to relate this to the pastor was interesting. “I want to go to church and experience what everyone else does. I just can’t” I told him. “It’s how God put my brain together, the only difference between mine and yours, is he must have sneezed, while putting mine together”

Pastors have no sense of humor about some things. I am now firmly on their “Less active” list. Funny how we never got around to talking about spirituality or beliefs. We just talked about attendance…

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[Tiddler]

Quote Allen Gee whiz, I forgotten that I’d already trawled this thread! I juat re-read the whole lot, and then saw my response at the end!

Familiar much.

I once responded to an old post with enthusiasm and a lot of ‘oh wow! I do that too’ yadda yadda.

It was my post I was referring to. 🙄

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[Robbo]

You crack me up Tiddler. Thanks for sharing that.

For me religion has become much more simple. If fact there’s a t-shirt I want to get that says. “It’s not religion, it’s a relationship”. In other words, I have a relationship with God as I understand God. The better that relationship gets. The better I’m able to relate to the rest of the people in my life. Fortunately I don’t fit into any of the stereo type’s that exist about religious people.

Most of us are wrong about what we think is gonna happen after we die. Fortunately I don’t feel a strong desire to convince people that I’m right. I’ve been there enough times to know that it’s pointless and only caused people grief.

For those who believe, no proof is necessary, for those who do not, no proof is possible. (can’t remember who said that) It’s a good quote, huh?

Like all relationships, my relationship with God is growing, changing, and not easy to maintain. I still “just don’t get it” sometimes. It’s okay to not understand everything about life. It’s also okay to want to understand more.

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[allan wallace]

That’s interesting Robbo…one of the aspects of Christianity which I found to be perplexing was the ‘personal relationship’ testimonies that I kept hearing. When I gave this very issue much thought I conceded that I hadn’t had such a thing before, which led me to conclude that it was either a delusional state, or that I was too much of a reprobate for God! 😆

Whenever I have asked people to quantify what a ‘personal relationship with God’ means they generally either get vague, evasive, or downright defensive….meh, I dunno, if I had an absolute certainty that God exists then I daresay that I’d have a desire to convince as many people that I could of his veracity, and the material things of the world would be even less important to me than they already are, and I’ve never been one to covet the shiny trinkets of mammon…I hope that I haven’t offended any of you, but that’s just how I see things….for now anyway, who knows, maybe one day God will condescend to communicate directly with me. I just hope that if he does, and I proclaim the truth to whoever will listen, that I’m not carted off to a mental institution…. 😆

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[phoenixmagicgirl]

I’m a born again Christian, I was saved on 10/20/2000. I was raised Methodist, but recently gone to an Episcopal church, I do like to go when I can. I have a trainer I see every Sunday morning as well as I work on Sunday’ s. In my life, religion has always been a big part of who I am and one way of how I connect and communicate with people. Believing in Jesus and having a personal relationship with Him has helped me to find peace when I can’t find any. I know that He is with me always and He blessed me with ADHD so that I can see the world as He wants me to. My brain may be wired differently than most, but I think that that helps me to get a different perspective on things like when you’re having a discussion on whether or not the Bible should be interpreted literally or metaphorically etc.When I was in college for the second time, I was challenged to think differently than others and a friend of mine told me that instead of overthinking a problem you have to solve, think of it from a different view point.

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[Fabulous]

100% atheist, myself. I wonder if anyone has looked at proportion of religious belief vs non in ADHD population vs non …

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[captainmarymary]

So being ADD myself I am 7 years late for your post but felt I had to add my bit. Someone replied that they had a hard time keeping the commandments. Well yes you do and that’s why He came as a man. He left us with two commandments Love God with all your heart and love one another like He loves us. Love God with all your heart means to me don’t divide your faith between objects to worship. Like things, or faiths with lots of gods. Put Him at your centre and the rest is easier. Love one another to me doesn’t necessarily mean like everyone but ask God to help you see them the way He sees them (us). So maybe unload your particular church and find one that speaks to your heart. One with less dogma or liturgy. He doesn’t really care that you cross yourself upon entry or look like you’re paying attention. He wants you to know Him. I think you need a new introduction.

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[fjnmusic]

I am fascinated by religion, born and raised Catholic but considerably more atheistic in my views as an adult. I am fascinated by the ways religion shapes lives and thoughts and persuades people to adopt a certain way of seeing the world. I find guilt to be mostly a wasted emotion, and I find that living a good life and being kind to others has a payoff in the here and now, never mind the world to come. It takes a pretty impressive preacher to hold my attention at mass, which I find almost to be more of a study in endurance most of the time. Religion can be inspirational, but it can also be an excuse for some pretty abominable behaviour from people we are meant to respect. In short, I now see religion as more of a vast social experiment than any thing designed to save my immortal soul or not. I don’t think I’m wrong here.

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[harry1]

I observe the difference between religion and faith as what you DO as opposed to what you BELIEVE.
In that book, Jesus , himself, said “the letter of the law (religion) kills, but the spirit of the law (faith) gives life.” Yet it says “not one jot nor tittle shall pass away.” It says to me that faith should involve everything I do, and I should remember what the rules might be, but it also leaves room for me to be a human man.
My personal hero out of that book, next to God, would be the fictional character that Jesus spoke of as the “Priest and Publican” parable.
I identify with the publican.
A guy who works for the “enemy government” because it’s the only job he can get, and his people, family and Everyone hates and detests him because he does. He’s under mandate to take care of his family, (find the “worse than a thief” reference) yet he has no help, and even the priest puts him down.
He stands , (and I would think, in the circumstances) his fists are clenched, his teeth are gritted, and he’s here to speak not to the priest, but directly to the One in charge.
The priest is claiming rights due to position and finishing easy tasks.
The Publican works his butt off, and he’s hated for it. He’s feeling like a failure with no way out (sound familiar to all the add people?) and yet he busts it trying. He has his pride that he feels entitled to, because he DOES try, and so, he cannot look down. He feels he falls far to short of the goal (sound familiar again?), so he cannot look up in pride, but beats himself in frustration and anger, and he’s not just asking for that forgiveness, he’s demanding it as tha wages for his effort. I would think he’s a little pissed off. Yet he knows he’s dealing with the Boss here, and as the created , he addresses his creator with respect for what He’s capable of. Yet, the seething…
And because of his humility, and his willingness to speak to the boss and keep trying, not his efforts, it says that he is vindicated. Not because of his religion, but because of his faith alone. And the priest is over in the corner bragging about himself, and is not mentioned in that vindication.

I have felt like that. And I know that anger and frustration. And that’s why that unnamed guy is my hero. He did it right.

• This reply was modified 6 years ago by harry1.

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