Attesting to the Virtues, Harnessing, and the Gift

[Anonymous]

You know I have been surfing this site for week and have read and felt so many peoples stories….some success stories and others that describe an all to familiar struggle, some for a very intense struggle. Some people, I’ve noticed are newly aware (I detest the word diagnosed) others have been aware for years and years that we are “different….not less but different”. I am going to take a step here and maybe fumble this a little or a lot…….but I have noticed some peoples stories are not as fraught with struggle and angst as others. In fact I would go so far as to say a few of the folks stories are about the wonderful “gift” that a brain such as ours and other before us provides, and has provided to the world. Some people have managed to excel in many endeavours, in many ways, for one reason or another. They appear to have a actually harnessed this brain process, this gift of ours and done wonderful things with it. I know these statements may be problematic for some….but…the challenge maybe to just remain open to the possibilities, from our people. You have heard the negative for years and years, maybe it’s time for some positive perspective and affirmation eh???

I would encourage those who see what they are calling ADD, in the other light. Maybe those who have felt the “difference” and managed to make it a good experience in their lives could share that. It may be great benefit in this to others who are overwhelmed or are struggling with their life and are looking for a positive to grab on to.

Anyway I throw down the challenge to all of you out there who have the same/similar perception as I do that “the manner in which our brain works is a gift” with a basket of wonderful attributes as well as a basket of interesting quirks, that at times present as eccentricities to others. Again….share, if you will, your sharing may well assist others who find themselves struggling and coping with it all.

I told you I would fumble this, and as I re-read this post…I have, but I would think that because of who you are out there…. you can fill in the blanks and share, lend a hand or your perspective to those who are struggling. This site has potential in that aspect too.

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[Anonymous]

For anyone to look at the way they are deep down inside and feel anything but joy about who they are does indeed have a problem. The problem is the world in which they have decided to live. For every quirk, twitch, and misfire a human being can have there is corresponding niche for them to fit. The difference between happy people and sad people is the way they perceive the flood of info they receive from the outside world. So, on top of having all these odd foibles the ADD brings, we have the added challenge of staying positive because, again, we have ADD. But some cardinal rules apply to all mankind, and one of the biggest is ‘To thine own self be true’. Whether it is difficult or simple to deal with our brains should have no correlation to our self image. As long as you keep striving for excellence your good, Dude!

Now I agree, the ideas of “diagnosed” and “disorder” aren’t the terms I would use either. But, when there is a situation involving two diametrically opposed sides, concessions must be made and semantics must be set aside to bring both sides closer to understanding. If those terms help those who operate differently understand then I say keep ’em. I don’t care what anyone calls me, I know how damn awesome it is to be like me. ADDers aren’t like the other side, so why would you let someone from the other side tell You what is right? If you see it as a gift, then a gift it be.

-Max

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[kc5jck]

Toofat – I found this thread looking around tonight and read what you had written here and on the other thread about ADD as a gift or something. You have just a wonderful outlook and I have enjoyed reading your posts over the past couple of months. Your posts here caused this thought to pop through my head. I think you’ll like it.

“God gave me a wonderful brain to have wonderful thoughts. Then he gave me ADD so that I could have a bunch of them.”

The wording could probably be better, but I think you get the point.

Here’s to thinking of you. (Now I’ll have to go mix up a drink. See what you made me do.)

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[munchkin]

Adaptation – that’s where ADD has turned into a strength for me. I’ve always had to adapt to situations because things would never work for me the way I planned, or the way it worked for everyone else. So – I would improvise and adapt. So, in chaotic situations where adapting to change is important, I’m the go-to person! I love change because it’s where I look good. Change that’s for the greater good is where I belong – solving problems, re-writing the rules, etc.

That’s why I enjoy musical improvisation too – soloing to music does not require me to remember – I am able to develop physical memories of the scales in my hands, and tap into a different part of the brain. Being unable to just play the same canned melodies over and over forces me to create musical ideas from scratch – to everyone’s pleasure. I watch the movements of people dancing and the shapes in the room, and make brand new melodies that are completely in the moment. That’s pretty magical stuff.

I don’t believe I would have been good at these things if ADD hadn’t forced me to. ADD has challenged me to develop strengths that I don’t think I would otherwise have done, and I find pride and satisfaction in that. When I think about that, I feel a sense of gratitude that I get to be different, and it would be strange to think of who I would have been without ADD. I’m also glad for medication and the choice to keep the skills I’ve learned, plus function better with my family and work.

These things aren’t by themselves a definition of ADD – they are what I did about it – and I’m very, very OK with that

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[kc5jck]

I can easily imagine that there is a lot of treasured paintings, music, and other art forms which exist today only because of the creator’s mental “disorders”, whether it be ADD, depression, psychosis, or whatever.

I like to see posts from members who can report something positive about their ADD.

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[Anonymous]

Toofat, it is interesting what you suggest, certainly, perspective is important. I would agree that the way we perceive

our ADHD may well have an important role in how we cope with it or harness it. I am beginning to see that I have

gone from one mini-disaster to another without thinking about it. I live too much in my head, starting to get out,

passed 60, so it would be nice to learn to function with this ADHD.

It would be great to read more about how people are learning to function with ADHD.

So far, after nearly 3 months, medication doesnt seem to be doing much, but I am learning more

about how I function, and what the tipping points are.

I am not compelled to paint ADHD as a malevolent ‘nobadaddy’ certainly, learning how to cope is

the important thing and a different perspective , different perception of ADHD might be helpful .

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[Anonymous]

Tea, my simple ADD analogy goes like this……I also use this to describe ADD to ‘Linears”.

You’ve never had a driving lesson, nor been taught the rules of the road, and your given a highly strung Formula One Race car to drive through unfamiliar terrain, through traffic, to the store, and hurry up about it, it’s urgent!!!!

How do you think it would go….what would one’s experience be????? What would observes have to say????

Now….your given the appropriate tools and training to drive a high-powered race car, and some time behind the wheel on a practice course, to practice.

One’s next trip to the store is likely going to be quite different, exhilarating even maybe……….and what would the observations be now?????

Toofat

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[kc5jck]

For us in the States, it might be like driving from Washington to Oregon passing through all the other 46 states on the way.

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[billd]

>>You’ve never had a driving lesson, nor been taught the rules of the road, and your given a highly strung Formula One Race car to drive through unfamiliar terrain, through traffic, to the store, and hurry up about it, it’s urgent!!!!

How do you think it would go….what would one’s experience be????? What would observes have to say????<<

Me – I can get into almost any vehicle or piece of equipment and in short order, have it mostly figured out. I was the one who when a piece of construction equipment or farm equipment came into the shop, the boss said “Bill, that’s yours, we know you can run it”. I might not have been able to hop into the seat and take off, but in short order, I was running it.

A neighbor offered help tiling part of our yard to aid draining our well pit area. He had to leave with the job half done and handed me the keys to the backhoe/trencher. I finished the job without issue.

Having had NO formal training in auto mechanics, I was able to “test out” of the entry classes in high school when I was able to explain to the instructor the complex workings of automatic transmission valve bodies and hydraulic control systems. I did the same for 4 barrel carburetors, explaining each passage and circuit.

With very little instruction, I was operating farm equipment such as combines, planters, 4×4 tractors, etc. It all comes rather naturally.

Now – would I or could I without my ADD? There is really no way to know for sure is there?

Is it simply “natural ability” distinct from my ADD?

What about what I do at work – ?

In the “right circumstances” it could be a plus – with the right boss, the right duties that matched my “superior abilities”, maybe.

But in others, it’s a true curse. My current and 3rd wife bluntly asked me – “so was your ADD the reason your other two failed”.

How can one ever know? There are not two of me to test – one with, and one without, and see what happens. Can’t do a blind study now can we?

Frankly, I have it very severely – it’s obvious to those who know what it is, annoying to those who do not.

I’ve lost jobs over it, and had some professional failings because of it. I’ve ticked off some folks really badly due to it.

But what about the good things in my life – many as they are? Is that simply because I inherited the good things from my ancestors? I’ve done a ton of research into my own family history clear back into the early 1600s. Truth be known the whole family was VERY skilled and talented going WAY back. However, that’s on my father’s side. Mom’s side we can’t trace before my great grandparents. No records exist out there. That’s where the ADD comes from. My mother is artistic, but very ADD.

My father’s side includes very gifted and successful politicians, ministers, pioneers, military of all ranks, farmers, blacksmiths, the family for generations was respected, liked and loved, even mentioned in Ohio and other history books. Is it that that has followed me to make me who and what I am, the success I am, and the ADD holding me back?

OR, is it some complex combination we’ll never be able to prove one way or another?

For those where ADD has helped them – cool, I’m really glad, honestly am.

Me, I”m a complex combination of factors with pretty severe ADD…….. the social anxiety part has held me back from being like my father’s ancestors – successful politicians, etc. Even on my mother’s side, they exist – one was a great-grandfather in congress, who was successful as a politician, but disliked as a father. My grandmother complained that he could never connect with them as kids, was never around, and they simply didn’t like him. The way she talked was almost as if there was ADD there, too.

I dunno, toofat and others – will we ever know for sure?

How about we all think positive, try to leverage what we have to do the best we have, and all attempt to support each other, gift or curse?

It may be a bit of both.

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[Anonymous]

Hi Toofat, that is a great analogy. Ironically, when I was being tested by my nice BC Health Psychiatrist, I said that things would go

much better if there was some sort of bloody instruction manual issued at birth. Because I am so tired of hearing .. ” you must’ve known that .. it’s common sense ” and the well known .. “just ignore it” or “jsut try harder”. Seriously, would love to learn how to drive.

I have seen bits and pieces of information, organisational tools, tricks for holding back impulsiveness and the like, though not much for the Transitions issue … but it seems that I need working meds to give me breathing room to learn that skill set. And so far what I’m on

isn’t working now .. either my body adjusted or it is reacting to .. I am more anxious and more hyper than 2 months ago .

I did find a psychiatrist down island who uses Cogmed .. but that is mainly for memory issues. Severe anxiety is messing up my

memory an other skills but cogmed just doesnt sound like it would do the trick. May have to extend search to the mainland. Cheers

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[billd]

Here’s something at least in my OWN mind I find interesting, perhaps a comparison others could comment on?

I’m legally blind in my right eye. I can see images with it if I close my left, but it’s basically worthless. I’d not be able to read, drive, or even recognize people – other than that they were probably a person. I do ok with my left. I have NO depth perception due to this. None. I can’t catch a baseball if tossed right at me. I can’t judge distance at all, it’s hard to tell if one thing is farther than another without seeing them both at one time.

HOWEVER, when I farmed, I never took out any fences or hit anything with equipment. My then F-I-L was very concerned. His own son, who had great vision with no glasses hit things now and then with wide equipment, not often, but more often than I would have. I managed a combine with a 30 foot grain head and long unloading auger ok. I had trouble lining up with the wagons due to lack of depth perception – I couldn’t tell if the auger would end up over the wagon, but we compensated.

No depth perception, yet I drive and park and back up, etc. and get by.

My oldest son was mugged – pistol whipped when he was on college and lost his right eye (totally). He now has no depth perception. Due to this he hates pickup trucks, prefers small cars. He can back their car up our curved hilly winding driveway to the road just fine, as can I.

My youngest son and many other folks have trouble doing this.

Interesting how my oldest son and I each get by with 1 eye, no depth perception……. some things we do just fine, others we struggle at a bit. … where others with two good eyes struggle.

Can this be compared to ADHD, getting by, compensating, etc.?

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[Anonymous]

Kc5jck……I agree there are a bazillion other threads that are appropriate for issues, venting, and ADD lamentation. It would cool to keep a couple….maybe even just one thread for……… things like Virtues, Harnessing and the Gift.

It might even be encouraging for folks workin’ on getting a positive handle… to find a “Sweet” spot. Fact is, not everybody suffers with ADD……some of us really love what goes on in our heads, and have learned for whatever reason to tame or train their Brain. Some us have had a great time on the ride!!! Some love the thrill…….and stellar success…….

Fact is…the ‘Gifties’…seem to drift away ( PeteP for instance)…….maybe if there was a thread or two……you know…maybe???

Toofat

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[billd]

Suggestion for site admins ->

I would suggest and fully support a “section” (just like the other sections for example “emotional journey”, “what is it” etc.) that was called “Successes” or “success stories” “Making the most of it” or similar – let the folks it would most likely apply to choose the name?

There are a lot of ’em. Patrick is an example – looks like from the documentary that he struggles much like the rest of us, but over-all, I’d rate him a success. Rick is a shining example. Would he have had the energy and spontaneity for everything he’s done otherwise?

I’d like to see a section dedicated to folks like TooFat, PeteP, and the many other successes. give it but one criteria – “no downer stories”.

I mean there’s places to gripe and find friends and listeners for those who have severe issues, and haven’t had the best of luck – but I see nothing really fitting for the positive.

It’s not something most folks would “ask for”, in my humble opinion, however, if ya got it – maybe leverage it, use it, why not take advantage?

It’s SO different than so many other issues, it’s really hard to find a good comparison.

One of these days, as I gain control (and I will, one way or another), learn even more, get meds figured out, etc. – they might just win me over a bit…………..

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[Anonymous]

Toofat, I really enjoyed reading your post. I’ve recently found out that I have ADD-even though I still have my doubts if I was diagnosed correctly- and some parts of my personality just seem to fit with the ADD traits.

I’ve always been very artistic and into music, love to draw and play the guitar, etc. and I wonder if it weren’t for the ADD if I would be so much into all of this. probably not. I guess that just for having different brains and feeling the world in a more intense way makes us pay attention to things regular people don’t. So, i guess ADD can be a gift.

of course, as Billd suggested, ADD might also be a curse for making the accomplishment of simple daily stuff a very hard task. I used to be very anxious to the point of not wanting to go out and see people. I was so inattentive that it made me almost fail in some subjects. I haven’t been able to finish university yet because it just gets too boring and I start hating everything. So, looking at it this way, it could pretty much be a curse.

That’s what medication is for. And a good therapist. Ritalin has helped me a lot, along with Lexapro (antidepressant). Hopefully my new therapist is going to help also. I know we can deal with the bad part of ADD, and if we do, the only thing left is our creativity, sense of humor, sensitivity. the good side of it. Those make us different in a way, and we should be proud of that.

Rebbeka-cheers from Brazil!

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[darkwynde]

Toofat…

I love to write, and when I get inspired and sit down at the keyboard, the hyperfocus kicks in within minutes. Next thing I know, It’s about 14 hours later, I have to pee like a racehorse, and I have a 32-page short-story written. Gotta love that!

Creativity comes pretty easily for me…about 12 times a minute, like a lot of other ADDers, I suspect. I’ve come up with creative solutions for all sorts of problems. For instance, helping my dad change out the transmission on his Ford Ranger. We didn’t have a transmission jack, but we *did* have a bunch of old 2 X 4’s lying around, so I stacked a bunch of ’em up, laid 2 more over top of the fulcrum I’d just made, stuck ’em under the trans, and bada-bing, bada-boom, we got the transmission in the truck! Took about 10 minutes, and this after Dad spent about 4 hours struggling to get the damn thing in with a regular floor jack.

Halloween costumes are where my creativity really gets a chance to shine through. I can whip together a bad-ass costume at the last minute for about 30 bucks, and I’m getting compliments all night long. Making monster dummies is pretty easy, too. Fact is, I love doing that sort of thing, taking a bunch of old junk and kitbashing up a mad scientist, complete with a moving head, bubbling beakers, and an electrical console with working gauges! Hyperfocus helps out a lot there, too.

As hard as it can be to get through the work day, things like that make it all worthwhile.

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[Author]

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