Examples of inattentativeness

[trashman]

thats a good one dspicelady . I was BBQ chicken when my neighbour knocks on my door to tell me my bbq ion fire. still trying to wash the smoke stain off my house . oh well its only been 3 years now . its on the list of unfinshed things on my to do list, lol

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[nellie]

Wow have done most of these and more! Have lost ( well I like to say misplaced) everything and anything.

One time I parked my car and couldn’t find it when I was done my meeting. Called the police. Very nice officer came, took lots of time to take my report but kept asking if I was sure I just didn’t remember where I parked it. I kept insisting it was stolen.Well after spending an hour with me and finishing the paper work he suggested very nicely that I get in the cruiser with him and take a ride around the neighborhood. Sure enough, the car was parked just a block further than I thought. It’s funny to me now but needless to say, I felt like a serious idiot at the time.

Another time I left my bankcard in the machine still ready to do more transactions because I was distracted counting the money I’d withdrawn. I walked out still counting and a guy came running after me with it. He was really nice and told me to be more careful – if only he knew the extant of it!

And the most ironic story of late – I got cash to pay for my assessment ( a small fortune as you all know) and had to kill time so decided to go to a coffee shop. You can guess what happened next I’m sure, but luckily when I went running back my purse was still on the bench where I left it.

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[Curlymoe115]

Nellie I can relate to the losing of cash thing (luckily you didn’t) because when we moved across the country we were driving our two vehicles and stopped at a Denny’s for breakfast when we left the hotel. I had the cash when we were at the hotel, but my hubby paid when we were at the restaurant. So we were coming up to a toll Bridge in Michigan and I was fishing around for the cash in my purse. At first I was searching one handed and driving and then when I couldn’t find it I stopped in the middle of the road and really dived into the purse. All these cars behind me and Hubby driving up ahead. There was over a $1000.00 in the envelope because we had stopped at the border to change Canadian Currency to American for the 4 day trip. So I flip a U turn in front of 2 police officers and start speeding back to the hotel. Ran up to the desk at the hotel and demanded the key. Ransacked the room and no sign of the cash. Convinced myself that someone must have taken the money when we had left. Hadn’t needed the money at the restaurant and never occurred to me I could have lost it there. Shame faced I confessed to my spouse that we had been robbed.

We went to the bank machine in the lobby after making our statement and asking the Hotel Manager to keep an eye for it and then started again driving. 2 days later I was still racking my brain and I decided to call the Denny’s just in case. It seems I had left the money on the seat in the restaurant the night before when we had stopped for supper and the staff had found it and had it placed in the safe. They agreed to wire us the money. I was never so grateful as I was that day, or felt more stupid. Why hadn’t I gone back to the restaurant 2000 miles before and asked them if they had found the envelope. Because I “knew” that I had had it at the hotel. I could even picture it in my purse that morning, but it was already in the safe at Denny’s. That is what it is like with my ADHD. I often find myself searching for things in the most unlikely places because of the conviction that I had the lost item with me, then when I do find it (sometimes weeks and months later) I remember that I had put it there before I ever went the other places I looked.

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[nellie]

Oh Curlymoe115 that is so frustrating I know – I guess frustrating isn’t really the right word but I do sympathize! I know exactly what you mean. It’s so weird, it seems like there’s a memory gap of some kind. Like a tape where a portion has been spliced out.

Bad enough when this happens with pretty ordinary day to day stuff but when it happens with the big stuff it’s just so dramatic. I think we’re so used to operating this way on a small scale everyday we probably don’t even notice.

I really am an out of sight out of mind person and I know that’s partly why I lose stuff, but seriously there’s got to be more to this than that? Do we hurry too much,is it because our brains move at warp speed they don’t soak up the stuff we need for short term retention?

This morning I was looking for something and went to the same wrong place twice and actually repeated the exact same pattern of steps. After the 2nd attempt looking for the thing I caught myself. I actually knew where the thing was – a purse – but went to the wrong one which looks similar 2x. Like duuhhh….

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[Anonymous]

The money thing… Once I went to buy a bottle of fruit juice and some peanuts, paid for it and the cashier gave me back about 15$ more or less in change. I was sure I had given her a 10$ to pay so I assumed she made a mistake and gave her back a 10$. She looked at me as though she thought I was weird or something but took the 10$, and I left. Then, on my way to the office I began to think that maybe I DID pay with a 20$ bill! I was too ashamed to go back. She really would have categorised me as a weirdo! Ha ha ha, I chose to simply think of it as her having a lucky day.

I try to pay attention now when I pay for something. Although, it happened again recently… when I got the change I wasn’t sure with what bill I had paid but finally remembered and the change I got was right! I guess they’ll grow to love me in that place lol.

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[nellie]

Oh wow Moka the money thing, do it all the time!

And speaking of money, I never remember if I’ve paid a bill or not. I have to go look it up to see.

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[Anonymous]

I’m just getting diagnosed now at 37. I’ve always known something was different about me because of the things I do to cope that other people don’t. Here’s a couple that may help others:

– I always set the stove timer no matter what I’m cooking, and, because that timer buzzer is only good if you’re within ear shot, I also set a watch timer in case I wander outside or something. If I fail to do this even once, the smoke alarms will be buzzing instead, guaranteed.

– I have a checklist I go through before I go anywhere, all hard “k” sounds, lol. Cash, Cards, Keys, Computers (smartphone), Cables, eleCtrolytes, (water, but spent half an hour once thinking of the K for that), etc. I used to think that because other people don’t have to do this that I should test myself once in a while, but sure enough, EVERY time I don’t use this checklist I wind up sitting down in a cafe or Burger King after a nice long hour walk, pull out my laptop, fire it up, and whammo. No internet because I forgot a cable or something.

– If you think of something you need to do but are worried you’ll forget it before you can capture the idea, put a physical object in your way. I threw a pizza box on the toilet seat once so I would remember to not sit down before refilling the toilet paper. Need to remember to return a video? If you always go to the bathroom before you go out, put them in the bathroom sink! This works only if you have one bathroom. I usually just throw videos on the floor by my shoes, but that only works if you don’t crush them.

– Get paper bills and statements ONLY, or set up pre-auth payments only. I still get all paper bills and will rip a little piece of it so I know I paid it. Works like a “PAID ON DATE:” stamp in an office. After I read mail I’m keeping I rip it in half so I don’t keep looking at it before it makes it to recycling.

Those are a couple that work me!

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[Anonymous]

Mail I’m NOT keeping

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[Curlymoe115]

To pay bills I set it up to come out of my account on the day it is due. If I find that I am going to be a little short I can always change the date. So when the bill comes in, I log onto my bank website, set up a payment on closest pay day to the due date. I then mark the bill paid in my e-post along with the day that it is going to be paid. That way I can either check with my bank website or the e-post website. I used to pay the utilities only if they demanded a payment or if I remembered. Then this summer hubby got sick and didn’t get paid for 6 weeks. They cut off the power and the gas. Now I have scheduled payments at the high side and I am ahead on all the utilities. With construction you never have a guarantee and we don’t want to be caught out again.

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[Anonymous]

My spouse ends her day usually around 10pm. She gets up, goes to brush her teeth, gets in bed and reads a book for a half hour before turning off her light. I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT!!! It blows my mind. I don’t know how she does it. I’ve wanted to have a routine my entire life, but I can’t make myself do it. Even when I was a kid and I wasn’t allowed to stay up late on a school night, I still managed to get yelled at at 3am, “why are you still up watching TV?!” I couldn’t get myself away from it, even though the thermostat was set to COLD overnight and I was freezing, and I was completely stressed because I knew I’d be tired the next morning and my homework wasn’t done. I just HAD to keep watching until I got what I wanted out of the TV…

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[walkwithfarmgirl]

BlackADDer– 28 is way to young not to go back to school; My mom started her B.A. when she was 65! And at 54, I hope to go back and do another degree in something I LIKE THIS TIME! Not that I didn’t like the last subject but it certainly made making a living more difficult.

So YOU GO!! if you want to go.

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[Anonymous]

Realized today for the first time my “favorite” saying. One that I would always say to my clients at every introduction “I am sorry I lost my train of thought” this was usually during the first minutes of meeting someone. I used to be in the service business. One that involved solving peoples problems with nuisance wildlife issues in there home. I would ring there bell and as soon as they opened the door I would start my oh so scripted dissertation and introduction …..then I would look over there shoulder and fixate on a picture on there wall … mumble a few more words then dream about the vacation I would love to be on. You know like the one in the picture on the wall of some tropical island and then finally the client would say “excuse me sir did u here me” then I would say ” I am sorry I lost my train of thought” mean while I would kinda just stare blankly at them and wait for them to kinda start the conversation again as to why I was there at their home at 2:30 in the morning ….Oh yeah Little Brown Bats had enterred there home inadvertently through an open window without a screen and I needed to capture it………

I lost more tools and equipment at peoples homes to,,,,, once I left a squirrel in a cage on someones dinning room table because the lady of the home offered me cookies and milk before she left the home to go to work and I caught that often elusive squirrel in 10 seconds by hand to get the rewards of the “Stimulating” aromatic congradulatory treat.. Well as I sat there my x beeped me on the nextel to advise me about the next emergency stop and how that client was freeking out so I rushed out of there and left the cage with squirrel in it on the dinning room table…

When the husband got home from work he did not even realize the squirrel was there as he instinctively every evening would come home and throw his suit jacket on the table… That day was no exception, he threw it over the cage … It was not until many hours later that the squirrel shredded his 500 dollar coat and used it for bedding in the cage to which his daughter found when she was startled when she came home from school. Thankfully my cage had my emergency phone number on it in big print or they never would have known who to call to come and get it……. Oh the squirrel scratched the heck out of their family heirloom table that was an antique worth tens of thousands of dollars but the homeowner was so apologetic for covering the cage with the coat and felt so embaresed that he always needed to put his jacket there or he would never find his keys and wallet for the next day of work. Yep squirrel was able to tear at his wallet but it could not pull the whole wallet into the cage ohh except the contents …… 155.00 dollars

I offered to give it back to him but he said “keep it as you did get the squirrel”. And the cookies and milk oh and the 155.00 tip the squirrel was able to pull into the cage… I love nature and all the wild things it has to offer…….

Yes! I offered to return the cash but the client was so happy to get rid of the squirrel and the noise the fuzzy fella made trying to chew it’s way out of the home everynight as he tried to sleep 155.00tip + 300.00 emergency service charge was worth it!!!!!

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[Anonymous]

The other day; I was coming home from work with a bag of groceries I had gotten on the way and the mail. Put the grocery bag down to look at the mail and noticed I got my neighbour’s local paper. Now where are my keys? Look in my coat pocket where I always put them… no, not there. Where could they be? I’m looking but can’t find them. Where are my keys? Oh (I suddenly remember) I got my spare key hanging on a hook near the door! Get it, get the paper to the neighbour’s mail box, get back in. Now where are my keys… I need them! Look in my pocket again… yes! They were there the whole time… although I swear they weren’t a moment ago. Now gotta bring the grocery bag to the kitchen. Gee… I’m gonna have to look for those keys! I’ll need them tomorrow or else I’ll panick and be late for work looking for them! Where could they be?…. Oh right….. I found them a minute ago!…… 😆

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[Lindstr7]

Does anyone else have a problem with cleaning their house? The rooms that people might see are generally tidy, but I have areas in my house that i use as “dumping” grounds for stuff I didn’t feel like putting away. I don’t know how many times I’ve opened the fridge pledging to clean it out, only to turn away because I didn’t know where to start. My clothes!!! Laundry!! what a mess! Why is laundry such an uphill battle? Even my clean clothes end up in a pile because I don’t get around to folding them. My poor daughter has to dig through the “clean” basket to get her clothes and I feel horrible for getting short with her for not understanding my “system.” Is this typical ADD behavior?

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[Lindstr7]

Another thing…..I do believe the behaviors I mentioned above (just the tip of the iceberg) contributed to my divorce. Could Ritalin have saved my marriage? Sigh.

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[Author]

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