Examples of inattentativeness

[Anonymous]

Quite some time ago, Shelby posted: while driving in the rain, i find myself watching the winshield wipers go back and forth instead of watching the road.

I have a terrible time driving, especially at night when there’s a lot of big snowflakes. My eyes can’t alight anywhere, they wander, and I lose track of where the road is. I can do it if I concentrate, like if I have to get home, but I have to drive slower than anybody else, and when I arrive, I’m exhausted.

More to the point of the topic, I was at the supermarket with my toddler daughter, and had her in the kid-seat part of the shopping cart. She was on her best behavior that day, and after a long time of shopping, concentrating on keeping the purchases within my budget, I finally got through the checkout line and got the groceries into my car. I turned around when I heard someone hollering, “Lady. Lady!” and saw the cashier running toward me with my daughter. She laughed, and said, “I think you forgot something.” I was mortified. My daughter thought it was loads of fun, and as I was buckling her into the car, I told the cashier, I never would have gotten out of the parking lot before missing her. But inside: Wouldn’t I?

That was over 25 years ago, several years before I really knew what ADD or ADHD is. Now, I have 3 kids and 5 grandkids. I’m here to tell you, it can get better. Reading all these posts remind me of how far I’ve come, largely due to strategies developed by combing resources like this site, and the many good books that are out there, and, of course, meds, of which I have taken my share.

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[Anonymous]

I walked to the mall one day, got my shopping done, then spent 15 minutes pressing the alarm button on my car key transponder, and walking back and forth like an idiot, and wonder where the heck I had parked, was about to break the news to my husband that the car was stolen, then finally remembered, “You WALKED over here, dummy!”

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[Anonymous]

Does anyone else have that problem, things work okay as long as you can be on “autopilot” but as soon as you do something out of the ordinary (like do it on a different day or time than usual) no matter that you remind yourself seven times, the minute you actually go to do it, “autopilot” takes over and you still do it the way it was always done in the past??? OR, you make an arrangement to meet someone at the coffee shop, for example, but then something comes up and you both decide to make it another place, even if it is only half an hour later, do you find yourself driving over to the coffee shop? I do that ALL the time!!!

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[Anonymous]

Hi, I am facing the possibility of ADHD diagnosis. A psychologist suggested my son be tested for it, and in doing research (mostly on the inattentive type which describes him perfectly) I realised that he is my clone, and ADHD does exist in adults. It was actually a relief to find that there could actually be a reason for my huge difficulties coping with many daily activities. So I am now planning to bring up the issue when I take my son in for testing next week.

It was nice to share some great laughs reading through these, as well as the frustrations, and just had to add my own….but by the time I registered for the site I had forgotten what my example was…aaaarrrggghh!!! How typically NORMAL for me. But just went to make a cuppa and remembered that my example was that I often end up filling my coffee cup with sugar instead of the sugar bowl when I notice the sugar in the bowl is running low. How many times can I make the same mistake? Plenty!! And whoever told me to start writing reminder notes and put things in plain sight to remind me to act on them should be shot. I have paper everywhere – covering my noticeboard, the fridge, the kitchen bench, the floor by my bed. And I hate it! How on earth am I supposed to see the one important note for that particular day in amongst all those other important notes?!

Julianna, I have done the autopilot thing. It can be really disconcerting to suddenly realise you have no idea where you actually are and where you are supposed to be going because you have zoned out and autopilot has turned on and taken you on a route you have been on many times (but not always the one you need to be on!)

Lindstr7 I have the same problem with housework. It seems insurmountable. “The mind is willing but the flesh is weak” seems to sum it all up for me. I clean and organise the house over and over in my mind but I get up to do something about it and I just can’t make a start. I have clean laundry everywhere (washing is actually something I like doing, but putting it away is my worst nightmare!!). My fridge is full of things that sprout mould, and my dh and kids have learnt to check expiry dates because items in our pantry could have expired years ago. Clutter litters the house and things in general could do with a good scrub. I hate myself for being unable to deal with it, but it doesn’t change my behaviour. I am hoping that diagnosis and treatment will help put me on the path to improvement, before my marriage breaks down.

I have done DarrylE’s thing of putting items where you fall over them so I remember to act – like putting shopping bags and list on top of my handbag to remind me to shop, or stickytaping notes to the kettle to remind me of something important (as I boil the kettle by habit when I get up, even if I often get distracted before I get to making a cuppa)…..which reminds me, I was making a cuppa when I remembered what I wanted to write here. Huh…..probably gone cold by now, if I even got that far….

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[Anonymous]

I was going to write something here about my inattentiveness, but had to log in, and now I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say. Honest! 😳

I can walk from one room to the next to get or do something, and completely forget what it was I wanted to get or do. I have to go back “to the scene of the crime” to stand there stupidly, trying to remember what the heck it was. Sometimes I remember, sometimes I don’t.

My profile photo pretty much sums it up, I work on a netbook, but have a second monitor set up behind it, and it’s full of post-it notes. I couldn’t survive without them, but I could literally spend my whole day writing and re-writing them.

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[Curlymoe115]

I can understand most of the examples on this post. The basement is a dumping ground and anything that doesn’t go somewhere ends up there. DH is always finding boxes in the recycling bin. He brings them home and they end up downstairs. So now half the basement is full of empty boxes intermixed with full and half full boxes.

My worst experiences are driving by rote. I can set off, then start daydreaming and before I know it I am at my destination. How many people did I almost hit, was I a courteous driver, did I obey all the traffic laws. No idea, but I am here. I also will be driving along and daydreaming, then I will reach to turn on the radio only to realize it is already on. I am really bad for starting stuff on the stove, at too high a heat, getting distracted and coming to stir it only to find it stuck to the bottom of the pan. Luckily I have really expensive pots and pans and they can take a bit of burning. I have been known to burn the bottom out of the cheap ones. I usually spray all my pans with Pam before I start cooking, so that it is easier.

I also combine recipes. I will be making muffins and somehow the page will get changed or I will look at the other side of the page and keep adding ingredients one at a time. So then you add extra ingredients or forget some. Even though I do this all the time, you would think I would remember to check the top of the page before I add the next things. 😆

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[Anonymous]

I had a shock last week, I have a car with my business name and number on the windows, prominent graphics. I was heading to Toronto for a weekend meditation retreat (one of my other posts mentions I got a MAJOR points speeding ticket when going to another retreat last year, got the points down with POINTTS and $$$). I do not remember driving aggressively or carelessly at all.

When I got home, there was a recorded message saying “If you’re going to cut people off, it would be a good idea NOT to plaster your phone number all over your car”.

I was surprised. But also, that someone would consider it less dangerous to dial my number while driving and leave a message. We do have a no-cell-phone, no-texting law in Ontario, but I guess his need was more important. Hopefully he didn’t call the police too

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[Anonymous]

I hear you on the cooking. I can’t cook, I have to use recipes, and inevitably I will miss something in the recipe, using TB instead of Ts, etc. I have to do very simple recipes. And, it takes me 3-4 times as long to make them as it states in the recipe. Part of that is because I am constantly running back to the recipe, reading it over and over again to make sure I get it all right.

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[Anonymous]

I can follow a recipe okay…most of the time…but I get distracted too easily. Like tonight. Came home, boiled the kettle for a cuppa, decided to start dinner so went to turn on the oven, opened the door to find leftovers in there from last week that I had forgotten to put in the fridge, chucked them out, turned on the oven, noticed the dishes piling up so loaded the dishwasher, boiled the kettle again, realised if I didn’t put some laundry on to wash then the wet towels from my daughter’s swimming lesson would start to make everything smell musty, so I did that and went back to boil the kettle, actually put sugar and a tea bag in a cup, poured the water, then realised the oven was on and had been on for over 30 minutes, put some food on an oven tray and into the oven, got out some veg and put in the microwave, oops, my cuppa is going cold on the bench, grab it, sit down, turn on netbook and here I am, hoping I will remember to check the food in the oven before it burns because I have no idea what time I put it in there and forgot to set a timer. Bless the microwave!! It only cooks food as long as you want it cooked, so things don’t burn (except when I mistakenly push the wrong button and set something for 20min instead of 2min!!). But every now and then I find something still in the microwave a day later, that I forgot about once I shut the door! I do better with things I have to stand over to cook, like stirfry, but I find it so boring and tedious it’s hard to get started. One pot cooking helps (slow cooker or microwave), but the pots then sit dirty for endless amounts of time because the dishwasher doesn’t clean them properly so I have to soak them and handwash them. Ha! I always mean to, but never quite get there. And then there’s the matter of putting things into the slow cooker early enough so it will be ready for dinner. Yeah, right!! So not happening!! And one of these days I will learn not to ramble so much….

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[Anonymous]

I’ve done that with the kettle so many times!

We bought a Salton hot water dispenser several months ago. It’s great, you just fill it with water (holds 5L) and it will keep it at tea-making temperature all day long. It also has a turbo feature to boost the temp (used usually when you fill it with fresh water).

So now all I do is pop a teabag in a cup, press a button, and wait a few minutes for my tea. I drink a lot more tea now that it’s so simple.

I think my problem with walking through a room and being so distracted is that there are so many unfinished projects (including cleaning). Either I stop and do them or I start thinking about them, and I’m lost in space. i wish there were a MENTAL GPS that I could buy to bring me back to my original thought

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[Anonymous]

Hmmm, that “wait a few minutes for my tea” would do me in every time!! I’d think “I’ll just go off and do x, y or z while I am waiting, get sidetracked, and find a cold cuppa later. At least boiling the kettle and then forgetting it doesn’t make for a cold cuppa

Wow. A short post. Wonders will never cease

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[Curlymoe115]

My DH is really bad for putting food on plate or in microwave and running to do one more thing. I call him the king of the reheat. He reheats things 3 or 4 times before he actually even takes a bite. Holidays are the worst. We no longer wait for him to sit down, now we just eat without him. If you know how long food needs to cook you can actually use the start and stop times on most ovens. I have a water dispenser that dispenses hot water on demand (2 cups at a time) and we use it for hot water. I also bought a Mrs. Tea that brews just like a coffee maker, or in a pinch you can also use the coffee maker and this will keep everything hot until it is ready. I can’t tell you how many times I will be in the middle of making lunch and the phone rings and I come back into the kitchen hours later to find the half finished meal sitting on the counter along with everything that was needed to go into it. I have made breakfast, the phone rings, then I see the time, rush out the door, then I feel a little peckish but remind myself I had breakfast, I can wait until lunch. Then 6 or 7 hours later will get home to find my breakfast still sitting on the counter waiting for me to eat it. No wonder I was hungry and I wanted to eat. 😆

Mental GPS would be a miracle. In the middle of a conversation I will have a thought. Rude to interrupt so I wait my turn. Then finally it is my turn to say something and it is just gone. Or thinking about important things on the couch, get up to actually turn thought into action, get halfway there and realize the thought it gone. I had a Chiropractor appointment. Knew I did when I got up in the morning. Had a different appointment first thing in the morning. Made a mental note on my way home that I had to leave at 11 for my Chiro appt., go home, phone rings and I am sitting chatting when call waiting chimes in. I had missed my Chiro Appt. How do you do that? 😆

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[Anonymous]

I have the same problem in conversations. My mom & I used to interrupt each other all the time because if we didn’t, we’d forget what we were going to say. I drive my husband crazy with the same behaviour. Somehow he can remember what he wants to say but I can’t.

At one of my ADHD consultations with my husband, I got told to stop and pay attention to what my husband was saying, to look him in the eye, because I completely butted in with something else I wanted to say. The psychiatrist said “do you know what he said?” and I couldn’t tell him.

I have to go to the doctor’s with a list (which makes her roll her eyes because she thinks I am coming with lots of problems) but the list helps me stay on track and on topic. Otherwise she says “what’s up?” and I ramble on about everything BUT what I booked the appointment for, get home and kick myself for not asking what I meant to ask.

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[Curlymoe115]

Aw yes, the Dr’s Appointment. When I go with DH the doctor talks to me. Because I can sum it up. If I don’t have the list I always forget something. Like another prescription for my allergy meds. I am also tasked to be the memory from the appointment. So when we get home I explain to DH again what the doctor said and what he was supposed to do. I guess that is why the Dr never takes it seriously that I have ADHD. Because he can’t see that there is any problem. With DH he has no trouble believing. My family hates getting on the phone with me because I ramble about a million topics and they can’t keep up. My best friend always reminds me I need to go back to the beginning of the conversation because they couldn’t hear what was going on in my head. I only started out loud in the second paragraph.

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[Anonymous]

“I only started out loud in the second paragraph” LOL, my husband starts the paragraph and halfway through he finishes it in his head. FRUSTRATING!

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[Author]

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