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Getting really tired of this

Getting really tired of this2012-03-18T01:48:33+00:00

The Forums Forums The Workplace Struggling Getting really tired of this

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    Post count: 229

    oh, really? Awesome!


    Post count: 14413


    Do you see a psychiatrist for your ADD? I’m fairly certain my doctor wouldn’t put up with kind of nonsense from an employer of one of his patients. It’s rather reassuring for me to know that he’s on my side when ‘push comes to shove’ if you know what I mean. He’s assured me in a couple of instances where I encountered some ‘pushing’ from my GP that he was only a phone call away and would promptly step in to set her straight should I need his help.

    Hopefully, your doctor will have the knowledge to fill the paperwork out appropriately to put the situation in your favor (American spelling!).

    I racking my brain now (should ask my American husband) but don’t you have a group down there that supports/defends against discrimination such as this? Civil liberties or something or other?

    Hey, we should be teaching together! We’d make quite a pair!!


    Post count: 802

    That’s really cool about the MFA. I didn’t realise. Sorry if you already mentioned it!


    Post count: 229

    Tiddler, no not at all! I don’t think I had mentioned it here.

    zsa zsa – I haven’t been diagnosed ADD quite yet! What I have been diagnosed with, in the past, is bipolar disorder (wrong, I think) and a physical disorder that’s an autonomic nervous system dysfunction which causes tachycardia. I haven’t seen a psychiatrist in quite some time, but I am trying to get into to see the doctor to get an assessment for ADD and/or referred to a psychiatrist who can assess me.

    Everyone at work is well aware of my various difficulties, because, well, I complain about them so much, ha ha, but, they (management) tend to rely on me fairly heavily because I am a very good worker, also because we are short staffed.

    Even though my schedule was reduced, I ended up going over 20 hours this week. I told my manager that we might have to cut back to four days if they can’t keep me under 20 hours. She said, “I thought we already talked about that?” Apparently, she was under the impression that it was going to be okay for me to work over 20 hours.

    What I had said, when the person from human resources had asked, was that, yes, of course I will be willing to stay and work beyond four hours on any given day IF there was the incidental situation that a table was staying longer and I was in the middle of waiting on them. I wouldn’t just clock out and abandon a group of people I had been waiting on because it was taking me over 4 hours that day.

    However, continuing to work me over 4 hours every single day, not because I’m finishing a table, but just keeping me on and having me continue to take more tables, so that by the end of the week I am over 20 hours is NOT acceptable.

    I understand they are short-staffed but, you would think in the face of my very formal request, they would realize I am serious about this. Hire more people.

    My manager asked how far over 20 hours I was, and I said “2 or 3 hours” and she said “Really???” in a sarcastic way, meaning “You’re really going to make a big deal over 2 to 3 hours?”

    Yes. Yes I am. That’s the point. I’m not going to work over and beyond my ability level anymore. I’m not going to come home exhausted anymore. I’m not going to be taken advantage of anymore.

    They manage to get another coworker who has another job out the door, why not me?

    I feel like I have to be hypervigilent about it. I’m having to keep on top of trying to get out of there. for the past couple of days, if I hadn’t said anything, I would have gone way over 20 hours. You’d think they’d take responibility for it, considering that they could be in major legal trouble if they don’t adhere to my request.

    If it keeps going on, I’m going to file a complaint with the appropriate agency here.

    I told my manager that I have an appointment with the doctor on April 3rd.

    I’ve been saving my time sheets to show that I’ve been working beyond the 4 hours daily/ 20 hours per week.

    Thanks for the continued encouragement guys! This whole thing is helping me flex my assertiveness muscle, so that’s a good thing! :-)


    Post count: 37


    It takes a lot of courage to do what you have done. My only advice is to be patient with your manager, even if she’s a…. well, you know. And I’m not suggesting it’s easy. In time she may understand. I’d suggest pointing her to this site for more info, but she may read and recognize your posts. On the other hand, maybe it would reveal to her the difficulty you really face! Who knows.

    With that said, I really hope you can get on with your writing and leave this behind you. You certainly have a gift for it.



    Post count: 1096

    Ashockley – if you don’t get ‘trapped’ with a bunch of people on one of your tables, can you just clock yourself out after your agreed number of hours – just put your coat on and go? Or would that cause trouble? You could give them a 15 minute warning like ‘OK guys, my shift finishes in 15 so I am wrapping up now’ ?

    Keep your time sheets until this is all sorted.


    Post count: 229


    I *so* wish I could, but no. Well, I guess I could but, yes, as you said, it would cause trouble.

    There is a whole process involved in leaving work. First, you have to get phased which means you don’t take any more tables. At that point, you have to wrap up the tables you do have, which could take anywhere from 15 minutes to another hour depending on where the table is in their dining experience or how long they want to stay and chat. While you’re finishing up those tables, you have side work to do, things like cleaning and stocking duties, then you have to roll silverware up in napkins (about 20 – 50 sets), and then, once all of your guests have left, you go to your assigned section of tables, re-stock the sugar, pepper, salt and sweep your section.

    So, in order to leave, I have to first go beg the managers to phase me. If we are busy, or might possibly get busy, or there are other servers who are supposed to be phased ahead of me (because they came in before me or are “doubles,” meaning they are coming in to work another shift that night (I work day shift because it is less hectic), they are less inclined to phase me.

    Really, and I keep thinking more and more this way, I need another job. The perks are that the hours really are more flexible than a more traditional job, and it does burn off some of that hyperactive energy, and it’s not difficult work, and at the end of the day I can leave work at work, but the physical exertion and the stress of dealing with this situation is really getting to me.

    Also, I’ve become bored with it.

    I really don’t know how people stay on at jobs for 10, 20 or even 30+ years. I’ve always kind of looked at that as the ideal, but I’m realizing about myself that when I start to become frustrated and depressed over a job, it’s not just because things have gone sour, but also because I’ve become bored with the sameness of it day after day.

    I have the experience, often, of this intense feeling of just wanting to get in my car and drive and drive until I find some place new and start a new life.

    I used to think that was me being crazy or manic, but I realize, I think it is more of the ADHD boredom, restlessness, seeking issue.

    Manic would be if I actually did it!

    Not that it would be crazy to move, but I think it would be if I did it on a whim, or did it as often as I would like. It could create a lot of stress! Unless I had my house attached to me, like an RV or something. Unless I were a snail.

    But, if you had the same house, I mean…it would be a different place, but, the same house.


    Snails grow new shells don’t they? Don’t they get bigger and grow new shells every once and a while?

    And, don’t turtles?



    Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD
    Post count: 473

    Hey Ashley, both my kids have worked in restaurants.

    One still waits tables.

    So I am familiar with a lot of your frustrations. Not first hand, but I’ve heard variations on a number of the things you’re finding so frustrating.

    There is a reason we ADDers tend to have many more jobs than most people. We are not understood. Our challenges are dismissed. Our strengths, loyalty and energy are minimized or exploited. So we get frustrated and move on. (And yes, sometimes we have a lot of jobs because we’re fired… because we talk too much, don’t focus on our own jobs, miss deadlines, get off track.)

    But I don’t think that’s the issue here.

    What keeps coming up for me, Ashley, is that you are not understood. And the managers show little or no interest in understanding you.

    My only suggestion is apply elsewhere, find a place where you are understood, respected and given the freedom to do what you do well and the support to manage the stuff that is not your forte.

    You also realize that all of this stress is because you care.

    And a lot of your coworkers don’t care.

    You may actually care more than your managers.

    It’s amazing how many times people who say, “Well, then I guess I’ll have to move on. There’s another job I’ve been offered,” are suddenly accommodated, given a raise, or acknowledged. And if they don’t care if you’re leaving, you’re in the wrong place.

    I know there’s a recession. I know jobs are scarce. And I know it takes time and energy to get the word out, apply, do interviews… But life is short. And our jobs are where we spend most of our lives.

    I also heard a statistic a month ago that 3/4 of all people get a job through ‘someone they know.’ The process of applying at companies, businesses, etc.. is a long shot. Telling everyone you know that you’re looking for a new restaurant, and if they know anyone, or know anyone who knows anyone… Six Degrees of Separation.


    allan wallace
    Post count: 478

    Hmmm, work, eh? I’m unemployed at the moment-again-and I just don’t seem able to hold a job down. I’ve had a history of having an attitude of ‘insubordination’ and generally don’t work well under dictatorial or bomabstic types, but when I’ve had a decent boss who is reasonable I have worked quite well. I get bored so quickly and usually find it difficult to get to work on time, and often took ‘sickies’. I’ve had all types of jobs and have detested all of them. I’ve never had a promotion, and 2 years is the longest that I’ve ever stuck a job out for. I have secretly wished that I could be like everybody else and just ‘got on with it’ when in the clutches of a gulag, but cannot abide the way workplaces operate. The brown-nosing and backstabbing which has pervaded every place that I’ve worked at has sickened me, and I wonder if a job even exists where I could just do what I had to do without all of that unnecessary bullshit…

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