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  • Anonymous
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    #88174 |

    I think this is probably the most challenging aspect of ADD for me. I have yet to be officially diagnosed, but I know in my heart of hearts that ADD is what has impeded my progress through life. I have had…well let’s just say that I continually amaze people when I point somewhere and say: “I worked there”. Dozens of jobs. All unfulfilling and short-lived. As far back as I can remember, when asked “What do you want to do for a living?”, I have been completely at a loss as to how to answer. The trouble is, I’m good at so many things but never for very long! Or rather, I get excited about a project or job or whatever at first, then shortly after I begin, I get bored or something clicks in my head to say “You’re only going to fail this one too so why bother?”, I can’t be sure which it is.

    I so badly desire a rewarding and challenging career. Something I can sink my teeth into and love for a long time. I just have NO IDEA what it is! Someone once asked me: “If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do for work?” and I was unable to answer. Sure we all think “Why work if you’ve won the lottery?” but realistically, we humans require an honest days toil to feel we’ve contributed. Whether it’s volunteer work or self-employment, we need to do something.

    I’ve found throughout the years that things just come very easily to me. I learn new processes and tasks at a very rapid rate – especially anything technological or creative. I instantly knew how to play the drums without ever having had a lesson. I have been naturally talented at drawing and graphic design from an early age (talk about hyper-focus!). I have an unusually keen grasp of the English language and other languages come rather easily to me as well. “So if I’m this intelligent, and have a natural aptitude for so many things, why do I have such difficulty selecting something to do or for that matter, keeping a job!?” was the question I have asked myself (and others have no doubt asked about me). This is my revelation as I consider the probability of having Adult ADD.

    Does anyone else or has anyone else had these issues or is anyone currently suffering from this as well? Is this a hallmark of ADD – along with my inability to concentrate on conversations without mentally drifting off or waiting for my chance to speak, lying awake at night taking 1.5 hours to get to sleep because of the infinite thoughts blazing through my head, the worry and over-cautiousness, quick to anger and always thinking my opinion is the correct one because I know for a fact that the other person is wrong because I have the facts firmly rooted in my brain and therefore can’t possibly be wrong, to name a few?

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91959 |

    Yes!! Too many gifts. I lucked into a career, but not until I was 45 and on ritalin. Before that, I would never have been able to sit through a meeting. Real careers usually involve doing tasks that can be very boring; I need the meds to tackle them. I am currently working as an computer application educator at a major medical center. It’s a fun job, very entertaining where I can work independently.

    I’m thinking you might want to get a diagnosis and start on meds. That is what changed my life and turned me into a dependable worker bee. Before this job, I was a self employed ceramic artist. People loved my work, but I got bored working for so little money.

    Fearwidg
    Participant
    #91960 |

    Everything you describe sounds “normal” to me. <g>

    Read my full story in the “Emotional Journey” forum under “Oops – classic ADD…”

    For me, my inability to “hear” conversations was the “smoking gun” I needed to convince myself I have ADD.

    As the Doctor said, “Your mind goes where curiousity takes it.”

    So I’m a freelance writer – which is a great job for ADDers as every new story (or Screenplay) requires researching a whole new area of life.

    I never get bored and – with my meds – I can NOW finish off every project AND hit deadlines.

    Remember – ADD comes with a gift – hyper-focus. And while the meds “reign in” the bad stuff, you get to keep “the gift.”

    Couldn’t do what I do if I didn’t have ADD – or, to be more accurate – CONTROLLED ADD.

    And at the age of 61, I still can’t wait to see what I’m gonna be when I grow up. <vbg>

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91961 |

    What a title for a forum. It so totally hits the proverbial nail on the head.

    Being someone who could succeed academically, albeit with some challenges, I was surprised, stunned really, that despite my very very best efforts, I ended up eventually getting fired – yeah, fired, from jobs because I couldn’t manage certain aspects of them. I was getting help from a psychologist *and* a psychiatrist, and they were both incredibly helpful, but neither of them suggested ADD. I kinda wish they had. Still, it landed me on the incredibly circuitous journey that got me to the job I’m now doing, which is a WAY better fit. Although I don’t agree with all of what Gabor Mate says about ADD and its causes/treatment, I will never forget the first time I read the first chapter, about his life experiences and diagnosis with ADD. I was reading it on a bus, and I just sat there, reading and crying, crying and reading. He was telling my story:

    “Beyond everything it revealed the reason for my life-long sense of somehow never approaching my potential in terms of self-expression and self-definition–the ADD adult’s awareness that one has talents or insights or some undefinable positive quality one could perhaps connect with if the wires weren’t crossed. “I can do this with half my brain tied behind my back,” I used to joke. No joke that. It’s precisely how I have done many things.”

    from http://www.scatteredminds.com/ch1.htm

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91962 |

    What a title for a forum. It so totally hits the proverbial nail on the head.

    Being someone who could succeed academically, albeit with some challenges, I was surprised, stunned really, that despite my very very best efforts, I ended up eventually getting fired – yeah, fired, from jobs because I couldn’t manage certain aspects of them. I was getting help from a psychologist *and* a psychiatrist, and they were both incredibly helpful, but neither of them suggested ADD. I kinda wish they had. Still, it landed me on the incredibly circuitous journey that got me to the job I’m now doing, which is a WAY better fit. Although I don’t agree with all of what Gabor Mate says about ADD and its causes/treatment, I will never forget the first time I read the first chapter, about his life experiences and diagnosis with ADD. I was reading it on a bus, and I just sat there, reading and crying, crying and reading. He was telling my story:

    “Beyond everything it revealed the reason for my life-long sense of somehow never approaching my potential in terms of self-expression and self-definition–the ADD adult’s awareness that one has talents or insights or some undefinable positive quality one could perhaps connect with if the wires weren’t crossed. “I can do this with half my brain tied behind my back,” I used to joke. No joke that. It’s precisely how I have done many things.”

    from http://www.scatteredminds.com/ch1.htm

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91963 |

    wow !! the bishop 72!! thats how my head works and i too am able to do anythin i put my hand to but for verry short lived time, many things are so natural for me to do and it baffles me that others are so slow to do or see things, i beleive i am right too, things are concrete in my brain and i will fight to the last to prove it, obcviously this is not recieved verry well by others..my head goes million miles an hour and if im not zoning out all the time then i am physically running round million miles an hour too, jumping from one thing to the next.. everthing you described is my head too…i have been diagnosed verry recently and am on meds for two months so far, too early for big change but i have the same struggle you do, have tried many things and had many big ideas the same too and can nver finish a single one of them.. if i too only know what to do,something that would last and hold my attention..its soul destroying not being able to channel it for any lenght of time..its depressing and not to mention the complete lack of functioning in my day to day life.. my god it such releif to see your story written on this site as i too have the verry same head.. im 35 and am feeling time is going verry quickly and i hope that i have some chance at fullfillling some creative path too(i can paint, draw, make music, talk alot).i have had too many years spent on failing to follow a single thing through to finishing piont..i am verry quick to anger too, i get so frustrated with people and i never knew why, i just knew that my brain and my logic was right. as i could see the thinking behind things at a much quicker rate than other and am quick to pick things up..its still early days so hopefull meds make some big diffrence to me.what you described is a few of the many things it entails being adhd and i identify with what you did say..

    Fearwidg
    Participant
    #91964 |

    Chips- only thing that worries me is when you say “…am on meds for two months so far, too early for big change.”

    Are you sure your Doctor has you on the right meds?

    With me, it was 20 Minutes, and my life changed – for the good & forever.

    (FYI – that was on Ritalin, though I had to stop taking it because I got “Ritalin rebound” when it wore off {worse than ever}. I was on Dexedrine for years, but have now switched to Adderall spansules which – for ME – is the best current medication.)

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91965 |

    Some people need more for it to work so it takes a while of adjustments to the dosage

    to find a level that works reliably. I’m currently needing more and it’ll be going up for

    awhile, but not all at once because that would be pretty unhealthy and risky.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91966 |

    AMAZING topic!!

    I’ve always felt as though I haven’t been in the right career, but that what I actually want to achieve has been limited because of my focus and lack of organisation! I find something that I am really interested in, plunk all my time into studying it on my own, finding out the educational path, the job outlooks, employment possibilities, contacting people in that field…..THEN, something else catches my eye and I start all over….I started my degree over a number of times because I kept changing my goals based on what I found interesting at the time.

    I am currently a teacher, but let’s just say that although I love the face-to-face time with the kids, I don’t feel that passionate connection with the job that I know I could have.

    Even though I am only 25, I have read about and considered jobs in everything from Theoretical physics to medicine, to art therapy, to animation, to law, to advertising, to evolutionary biology, to architecture. I know I have the ability to perform in any one of these fields, but I don’t know if I have the ABILITY yet to actually go through with something that would entail such a commitment. At the end of the day, I feel as though I’m letting myself down, ya know?? Does anyone have a similar story??

    Bettyboo
    Member
    #91967 |

    Love this forum conversation. I became a stay home almost immediately. I was married at 23 and pregnant 9 mnths and 1 week later ;-) (just in case my very european mother finds out) before that I went to school to be a secretary hated it and somehow became a dental assistant. I enjoyed it but couldn’t get certified because I didn’t have the focus to complete the independent studies. I knew how to have babies and that is what I did. The girls and I had a lot of fun but my house was a mess and I couldn’t stay on a schedule…long story short I divorced 6.5 yrs into my marriage.

    I went back to school and took Marketing…to my surprise I graduated with honours (I had to work 10x harder). When I completed the program. I need to pay loans and bills. I had bought my own home and it needed help and so I needed to make money. Sales, Sales Sales is what I thought I needed because I was always on the move and most people liked me and buildiing and securing relationships came easy to me. Securing the sales, problem solving, delivering the product was my forte, but paper work oh my God not happening and my employers also felt the sameand the clients but I got away with “people like me”.. I typically lasted at a job for 2 yrs and the got bored. First time I was fired was at 41 yrs old…couldn’t believe that they had waited 2 yrs to do it. I dove into my own business – am a relationship coach who specializes in matchmaking. I am very successful and what I enjoy the most is the different people I get to meet and work with. I realized that what feeds me is watching someone understand why they made the past relationship choices and then watching them practice what the have learned in a relationship with the person I have matched them with.

    I was ready to throw in the towel a year ago because I just couldn’t keep anything organized. My assistant was ready to kill me and my husband was feeling neglected and I did’t know why I was feeling crazy and nolonger knew anything about myself.

    I absolutely have found my way and I find that I work through mot of my to do list and since the meds (july 09) I feel, what we call, “normal” and creative and ready to just leap forward. Did I fall into matchmaking and relationship coaching “yes” and I believe it was because I allowed myself to focus on what felt good and that was happiness and creating awareness for someone’s elses happiness. I always had people / friends / co-workers asking me for my personal advice so I thought I need to do more here…and I I certified myself as a life coach and professional matchmaking and startrd my business.

    I realized it is all about time and patience because life and love will buy time and patience but it won’t buy busy or avoidance.

    This is long but I do understand everyone…I believe we are too hard on ourselves to be absolutely everything right now because we see everyone else successful. Define your own success and write it down some where and look it all the time. Take TIME to get there…practice one change at a time. Create a baseline first then move on to the next…we all know the big picture we will get there..I hope this helps…

    With “Love” in mind,

    Elizabeth

    ADDled
    Member
    #91968 |

    Good thoughts, Elizabeth, and I concur with them.

    We are hard on ourselves. Then, because of the ADHD and we work harder than others, it just seems logical that we are harder on ourselves. There is, apparently, no middle ground in anything related to ADHD: just like a light bulb we are either on or off.

    The thing is the rest of the world imposes a set of standards or performance measures on everything because, I think, of the need for categorization, classification, or pigeon-holing. I can’t be categorized, classified, or pigeon-holed. And that makes people nuts. Completely throws off their game. They can’t understand. And sadly, they won’t understand.

    I am starting to accept this.

    If I can I’d like to relate a personal example. I don’t do “performance reviews” very well, and sadly, they’re a fact of life in the corporate world. I believe a person should be measured against his own performance, as an individual, not against a bell curve or against others that adapt well to working the business environment.

    My last performance review I was rated as “achieved” despite the fact I had completely turned a very negative situation (read almost fired and due to ADHD) to improve my work performance to “achieved” (which means I get to keep my job). Everyone else gets “achieved”, but they have performed a relatively consistent, and predictable rate all year.

    I turned a negative situation completely around in six months as still only gets an “achieved”. I think my situation deserves an exceed. And, yes, I have fully disclosed my ADHD to my supervisor and HR.

    Comparison needs to be based on a personal standard, not against everyone else. If there is anyone on this forum that works in Human Resources (I love that term….I am not bauxite!) or a director in a large company, or has an MBA, I would certainly like to discuss the performance review concept further. But, then, usually people working in HR, or as a director and most MBAs don’t have ADHD and won’t be one this forum.

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    #91969 |

    My brother has an MBA. He’s the one who steered me to this website in the first place. So maybe, just maybe, some other MBA will drift over here.

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91970 |

    @ fearwidg, i am on strattera and its a non stimulant and takes longer apparently as i have to slowly in crease my does, i started on low dose even though i now realse it was way above the recomended starting dose(no stimulnat dgrugs seem much lower in terms of staartin dose to anyothers) and have experienced horrid side effects so am tryin to work out with docter the right dose, i think i started too much too quick for my body to have a healthy approach to them in my body, i will still stick at it thoug as hopefully it pans out.. i understand i think that stimulants work straight away? i used to abuse drugs and drink in the past so am tryin non stimulant drugs first..

    i am so glad i found this site and will come on it much more regular now as i find it helps me not feel so bad about myself for having a different way of doing thongs, or not doing things at all!!

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91971 |

    @ nory –i like your profiel picture! scary girl is good game with brilliant drawings!

    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #91972 |

    My suggestion is to look for something fast paced and varied. I think I have scored the perfect ADHD job, I work as an ambulance communications officer. I answer 911 calls and dispatch ambulances. I did it for 7 years unmedicated and for 3 years diagnosed and medicated. While unmedicated it was a little more challenging (especially when call volume was low) but for the most part, the job is perfect for the ADHD mind. Never the same day twice, need to make quick decisions, need to think creatively to solve problems and when there is downtime you are allowed to read, or do puzzles, or work on special projects, so you can always keep occupied and busy. I absolutely love my job and I am so happy that I found something that my crazy million mile an hour brain is good at. I have noticed that many of my more successful co-workers have definite ADHD tendencies.

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