Prioritize, Verbalize, and Get it done, but Failing.

[Evelyn]

Everything is important, but I jump on to the task only to think something else is more important. I have been in this struggle to clear the house, have a yard sale, and put things the way they would work best for me. I am failing at everything.

I have paperwork to fill out, to keep what little assistance I get, going. Paperwork for  job search help through the government, and Therapy Groups for Achievement Group and Life Skills Group. I am getting so muddled I don’t know what to do.

I need to take photos of my Trailer, just keep forgetting ’til it’s too late to go out there. Sometimes I forget for days on end or I think something else is more important. I have it listed for sale, but the photos in the ad are old ones. It looks less credible than it would with new photos.

My friends and family have super busy lives, and can’t afford me the time to help me work through this stuff, and I don’t think my therapist understands the urgency. I am going to be in the dark and/or lose my home.  Especially if I don’t sell my travel trailer.

I am spinning my wheels at everything I try to work on. I’m stalling at every corner. I’m failing and flailing.

I don’t know which is worse, My problems with ADD or everyone else’s hurry-up-and-wait mentality. I’d like to say it’s mostly my fault, and a lot of it is. but it doesn’t seem to be sinking into anyone else’s conscious mind that I’m in real trouble.

If  I let my self worry about it too much I get anxious, then depressed, then I can’t move at all, not on anything, for any reason. If I start to work on something I get mired in the details, and it takes my 20 times longer than it should. Damned if I do, and Damned if I don’t.

I’m sure this would all be a cinch for a coach to help me with, but I am unable to compensate them for their time right now. I want to have a temper-tantrum like a little two-year-old. If I thought it would help I’d do it.

goin’ for a walk, maybe it will help.

 

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[sdwa]

Wow, Evelyn. You’ve just described how I feel every day. Exactly like that.

I don’t have any solutions to offer (of course, since I am in the same situation) but I just want to say that you are not alone with that pattern of thinking or behavior. Sometimes a change of venue, like getting out and getting some air, and seeing different things, helps me clear my head and lighten the emotional burden and anxiety.

But where you say you think it’s your fault – I feel like that about my life, for sure – but it might not be the best way to frame the problem. I don’t think it should be about the challenges being anyone’s fault, or who’s to blame.

It is what it is.

The question then becomes how to make it value-neutral. Take the guilt, shame, and blame out of the equation, and just see what’s there to work with. Which is hard to do when other people don’t get it.

I share your frustration at not being able to find enough support. I am in a place where I realize that I need help, and that temporary supports have temporary benefits. I feel like, as much as I might want to resist thinking of myself as someone who needs ongoing support, the truth is that I will need support for this problem for the rest of my life. That could be depressing, or it could be a little bit liberating. Stop beating my head against the wall trying to do things I can’t do. Stop trying harder – because sincerity and determination change absolutely nothing.

And of course that’s a problem when it’s urgent, when it’s a matter of addressing issues that affect my ability to keep a roof over my head, to pay my bills, to meet the external requirements of daily living. On top of all the unfulfilled dreams or goals, the things on the personal level that fall into the “Why can’t I just….” category of disappointments.

I really hear you on emotional management issues around feeling so overwhelmed…on top of the baseline issues of how to get things to work on a practical level.

What seems to help, for me, is allowing myself to do whatever self-care things I need to do without guilt-tripping myself for needing those things. Walk. Eat real food. Sleep. Play. Smell the roses.

That doesn’t pay the bills but it does put me in a state of mind where things don’t seem quite so dire.

Sometimes, I think we can get in our own way by over-thinking a problem. I have a tendency to “what if” myself to death. Where the anxiety will just build and build until that’s all I can see, and I’ll be caught in this obsessive feedback loop about every possible thing that isn’t working.

I try to solve a million problems at once. That doesn’t work. Yet it’s hard to pick one little thing.

Maybe try to choose one small thing to do – and don’t worry about whether or not it’s the right one to choose.

Sometimes, it’s better not to try too hard. Putting pressure on myself makes things worse. I had a coach at one point who would remind me to breathe and say, “No pressure.” Deep breath. “No pressure.”

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[Evelyn]

When I do the

 it’s better not to try too hard. Putting pressure on myself makes things worse.

That’s when I seem to get into trouble.

It is my fault when I just sit like a bump on a log, because I know there isn’t anyone who has the time or willingness to help me verbalize or prioritize. So I sit like I got nothing to do. At least that’s what if looks and feels like.

…I may have rearranged some dust, put my whites in the washer, answered email, actually stared at email thinking, magically, something I need is going to come through.

I have to educate my therapist about ADD. I gave her some things to look at and she told me to hang on to them for next time. After she told me, that I am supposed to teach her. Now this Achievement Group, has homework about 4 hours a week, maybe more. I’m really worried that if I’m not truly up to it, will she label me non-compliant? Do I have the right to label her non-compliant?

Ok, the service is free. but she is getting paid even if it’s not by me, shouldn’t she put more into my service than just the time we are together?

———————————————————

I am screaming in my head right now, for someone or something to leave me alone. I wish I knew what I was screaming at. It feels like I’m being picked on inside. It’s not true, but that’s the impression.

I wish I could just stop, and let everything fall, and be okay with it all. That nothing really bad will happen, I won’t lose my house, or my lights, or my sanity. I really wish that could happen.

The walk didn’t help.

 

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[Evelyn]

I have never been so scared in my life about my ability to make ends meet, as I am now.

 

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[sdwa]

I know what you mean. I lay awake half the night feeling terrified. And that makes it hard to get out from under.

But to hear the way you get down on yourself is like listening to the critical voice in my own mind. And from out here, I have to say…please don’t do that. It’s not real. That voice in your head that picks on you – it’s a liar. It is not your friend. You seem to think you need to straighten up and fly right, but I don’t think so.

You probably sit there like a bump on a log because we ALL sit there like a bump on a log as time unravels around us…because THAT’s ADHD. No juice to get the engine started. That’s not you goofing off when you have important things to do. That’s your brain. Intentions don’t matter. It’s built in.

When I was a child, my parents had a summer cottage in the middle of nowhere, way out in the woods on a lake, one of those ugly 1970s A-frame buildings with two walls of windows. We would head out there for an entire month at a time. No TV. No movies. No neighbors. No stores. Just a whole lot of silence and stars at night. I mean black, black skies filled with more stars than I’d ever guess were up there from living in the city. Clear water lake. And I would spend the entire month reading books or working on little art projects. There was nowhere I had to be. I could eat and sleep when I needed to. I could walk around or swim when I wanted to. Being in a natural setting without man-made noise is a great thing. I think of that as healing time, because there was so much of it that it felt endless.

The lack of pressure leads to space which leads to the ability to create.

It’s time we don’t often get in our current lives, due to work responsibilities, or the constant noise and bombardment of technology and automobiles and lights, and the hassles of the shopping and laundry and bills.

I’ve had a creditor hounding me for months (unpaid medical bills). I only have a part-time job. I have two kids in high school, one of whom has ADHD and is on the edge himself.  A husband who isn’t working. A house that is falling down (literally). A mortgage that is about 80% of my income. And I just turned 50 and am thinking about how I Coulda Been a Contendah. As I look into the future, getting older scares the hell out of me. Not enough job skills. Not enough money. No real support system. Will I end up homeless? How will I support myself? Etc. And all of that can fall on me like a landslide of anxiety. The phone calls I can’t bring myself to make. The paperwork I can’t find. The administrative tasks that have me completely baffled. The fear that someone is going to say I’m too incompetent to take care of my kids. The fear that something will happen to my husband and I’ll be alone and overwhelmed with no one to help me navigate.

Does this particular therapist have control over your life? Because I’m thinking it’s not so great to work with a therapist who needs you to educate her about ADHD.

I know it’s hard to find one who knows about it.

But someone who doesn’t know….I’ve been to countless therapists over the course of my lifetime and was not helped much at all – in fact was harmed – by therapists who didn’t know about or understand ADHD. The most helpful one I’ve ever seen understands it (and also lives it because he has it himself.)

For myself, I can’t get much done when I am paralyzed by self-torment. On top of the practical stuff. I have stuff to deal with…but can’t make my mind shut up. The self-care stuff is essential for me – protein, sleep, exercise, real food, more sleep. At a certain point, those things are not luxuries.

I hope you can find a way to give yourself a break. Even if you can find a way to play – just for an hour. Anything you can do to lighten the mental load. You deserve that.

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[Evelyn]

@sdwa

Does this particular therapist have control over your life? Because I’m thinking it’s not so great to work with a therapist who needs you to educate her about ADHD.

Thank you. I think you are right. I don’t really think she is going to be able to help me, she seems to want me to change the way I think or do things instead of use the way I think and do things in a more productive, positive way. I asked her if she was willing to feel me, the pain, the guilt even the joy. She said she would have to think about that, then, again she refused the information I brought her. She want’s to change up appointment times, the reason she gave was I needed the mental exercise.

I did give her a little taste of what it’s like in my head. I started rattling off all the things that are pressuring me, how the steps to get something done get skewed. Then I got into detail about the task of doing dishes and all that’s going on in my head trying to liberate me from the chore, while I’m chained to the sink. After five minutes of me talking and rattling things off she threw up her hands, eyes big as saucers, her straight hair swinging from side to side, “enough” was the unspoken command. She admitted she was flustered, and she said something like “no wonder you’re so confused”, I don’t know I was too busy enjoying her reaction to pay attention to what she said. Now she wants me to do some organizational stuff, some kind of grid-thing. And she made two print-outs one is the definition of Ambivalence, and the other explains complicated grief. I found them interesting. But I’ll have to read them again to talk on the subjects.

She really believes it’s a matter of prioritizing, and that is true for people who can tell the difference. (my spell-check is getting a work-out tonight,)

Although… Isn’t problems with decision-making an issue for ADDer’s anyway? But I’m pretty sure she was referring to my relationship with a friend, who also became my moms friend. He ended up living here because he didn’t have any place else to live. I didn’t like the way he could sweet-talk my mom, and manipulate my step dad into watching what he wanted to watch on TV. There is much more that I could probably overfill this post with but I’ll stop there.

I had to find papers today for proof of everything. I needed to make copies. It took me all day to get the right papers. My filing system is so unorganized that I have to rely on my memory of where I saw it last to locate something.

That just made me realize something about why I file the way I do. I have stuff in canvas bags grouped by what I needed the papers for last. I wonder if my canvas bag system is another way of color coding. The bags are all the same color basically but have different color handles, or printing, or size.  I also have a tendency toward pocket folders instead of file folders, though I use those too, and big envelopes.

Speaking of lightening the mental load, I got a nice surprise from a former member of my poetry group, her and her twin sister were there every meeting, I don’t think they missed a single one. they both wrote beautiful, thought provoking poetry. I started and ran the group sort of a loose leader, but I always had a hand-out with exercises, a definition quiz, and the calendar. One of the exercises was a challenge to write a poem finishing it from the prompt I started in a lined section so they would have space to write. then they would get up and read their  poem. Usually everyone completed a poem and read it.

Anyway, she just sent me a message through Facebook thanking me for running the group. She had written a poem that was reminiscent of the prompts I gave out, and wanted to let me know that she used the name of the poetry group in her poem. I was very flattered and I felt such a sense of accomplishment knowing I had touched someone’s life in such a positive way.

I didn’t think I could write yet, at least not those clever prompts, but I surprised myself by letting this one roll right out of my fingertips onto the screen, I included the line before because the poem just flowed right from there. “The Wee Hours”, was the name of my poetry group.

Your message is both inspiring, and timely. It’s been quite a while since I came up with anything new. But I think…

In the Wee Hours

Thoughts drift past that golden hour, behind the warp of time.
When gently light on shadow’s face, swells the heart to pine.

Eyes open toward the melody of moments hung as tapestry,
Swooning dropping shoulders rest in the joy of artistry.

C. 2013, Evelyn Mitchell


Ok just a little bragging, but that was a bit of play for me and it gave me a real boost. I have one poem I wrote a long time ago called "Mind or Maze” where I was trying to make sense of my thoughts, fears, and thinking process, it also touches on people’s reaction toward me. Not a very sophisticated poem, as I was still a teenager when I wrote it. But I still find something in it every time I read it.
I am in-between stuff, stuck again the end of the yard sale isn’t the end, I still need to make money, I feel like I am out of options. I’m afraid to get rid of the yard sale stuff because if it’s gone I can’t sell it. But it’s a mess out there, and it’s clogging up my mind.

I might be too tired to think about this stuff right now. It’s almost 3 in the morning, I have been adding to this post all day. I felt bad about not posting a reply all week.

Thank you for reading my post.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Evelyn, it really sounds like you’d do much better with an ADHD Coach, than with this therapist who’s not only NOT helping you, but sounds like she’s making you feel even worse than before you started seeing her.

Why not use the Coach Finder here to find Coaches in your area.  Then, ask them to recommend some therapists in your area who specialize in ADHD.

As for convincing “the powers that be” to pay for it, why not tell them that your current therapist lacks the specialized expertise to help you, so it’s a waste of money to keep paying for this “help”?  It makes much more sense to use that funding to pay for (insert name & contact info of one of the ADHD specialists recommended to you), who DOES have the expertise.  After all, you wouldn’t go to a Neurologist for heart surgery!

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[seabassd]

Good Morning Evelyn,

I’ve experienced the sitting without doing and without knowing what to do… on more than one occasion. For me it’s always excessive rumination/over-thinking. I’m usually doing so much mental health related reading and analyzing that I get caught up in my head and have trouble with practical steps. I forget that mental health education/learning(very important) is an aspect of living and life and not the whole enchilada. It’s way too easy to pile on analysis on top of analysis until I start to doubt everything. It’s thinking about thinking about thinking. In a nutshell…EXHAUSTING! I can have a tendency to think I’m way way way different than “normal” people. Yes I’m different, but maybe not to the extent that I think. True, In certain ways and on occasion I stick out like a sore thumb, but I’m still human just like everyone else. Sure I need to consider my limitations, but I also need to consider my ability to overcome or work around my limitations. I can also get a little carried away with labeling myself (ADHD, Obsessive, Impulsive, Depressed, Alcoholic, etc.). Sure I need to be honest with myself, at least on some level, and categorizing myself may help me with that but I need to watch out for building walls that constrict me beyond the reality of my capabilities. I was in a halfway house many years ago and I remember seeing guys come in that were full-on “Out-Of-Their-Minds”, just hopeless cases. These guys could barely tie their shoes let alone process a coherent thought or fruitful action. Eventually these guys grew, they changed, morphing into something unrecognizable from when we first met them. I mention this to say that we don’t know the end game. To themselves and to many of us a better future didn’t appear possible, but things did change. For me many times I want to know the end game, the middle game, the everything and I want to know it now. I refuse to start until I have all the info gathered and can insure that my travel is perfectly planned and executed and without speed bumps. Impulsivity is an issue and we don’t want to be rash about our decisions but we don’t want to be frozen either. All of our past mistakes make us fearful of moving forward but what we forget is that we’ve also started to change and may actually have some tools that will help us along the way. Life happens outside of ourselves. Theories and ideas need a chance to be applied and tested in the world. We also need a chance to absorb the new ideas and concepts we’ve learned. Putting too much stuff in our heads without allowing time for it to gestate creates a since of overwhelm. I like to use the “Fake It Til I Make It” concept. I’ll ask myself, “How would a normal person handle this?”, “How would they act?” or “How would a person who’s not confused right now handle this?” This helps get my emotions out of the picture for a bit and makes my actions more real-world practical. I can be lead too much by my feelings. I don’t want to be a robot, but I don’t want to be dragged around by my emotions either. Waiting for my emotions to motivate me is trouble for me. It can be very freeing to take proper action without waiting for some bolt of lightning in the form of an emotion to propel me forward. For me, I’ve led a life ruled by excessive emotion. That’s about all I’ve got. Remember, this is just another opinion and some perspectives that help me.

It’s a reminder for me about what I need to do today… Just today.

Best wishes,

Damon

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[seabassd]

I think I was a bit off on my previous post and I apologize for that. In reading it I see some of my own issues. It has a bit of a “Pull Myself Up By My Own Bootstraps” kind-of feel, which I don’t like.

I hope it wasn’t too off-putting.

Thanks,

Damon

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[Evelyn]

@seabassd, Damon,

I know how you feel, forgive me for not replying after your post. I also get spooked that I might have said something a little to harsh too.

Sometimes I do…

But in this case it was an important point that I wasn’t looking at properly. I was not offended, I took your words to heart and began peeling off the layers of analytical sludge that I buried myself under. –You should see my journals. — I just “moved” at first, I bounced around from project to project, throwing up my hands at each one. Then I finally landed on something I could do.

I took the clothes that I was trying to sell in the yard sale, folded them up, put them in a bag and carried it to the truck opened the truck door shoved the bag in and closed the door. One bag done, I could stop there if I wanted to but I took out another bag, folded the clothes… Then another. Each time completing the string of steps to the end with closing the door. I stopped with all four bags in the back of the truck (Tahoe actually) all I had to do now was drop them off at the Salvation Army… Just so happened the next day, a friend needed a ride, he offered to unload them for me, (funny how things seem easier when there is another person involved) so I just pulled behind Salvation Army. Done.

Lucky too, just a half hour after I put the fourth bag in the truck the sky opened up and we had a torrential downpour. Lightning flashed like spiderwebs in the sky. All three of my cats came running in the house. That hardly ever happens, I’m usually waiting on at least one of them.

I started that self discovery path when I was 16 years old. A simple question to a hard-boiled old codger named Bob Todd. Which was, “Why don’t people like me?” Then he tilted his big head slightly, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You’re mean to people, Evelyn” He said it so uncharacteristically gentle, that I couldn’t help but believe him and ponder his point. He had been the only person in my life up to that point and quite some time after, that told me the truth without malice, or worse brushing it off like it’s nothing.

Damon, I know that analyzing thing too well. My English and Art teachers always give me very challenging assignments because I’d get board and analyze a lesser project into an insurmountable problem. And I did/do the same thing with my own little problems.

Now I have some of the missing pieces that have been making my analyses wrong before I even started thinking, so my mind has been going back over every thing I thought I understood about myself and literally rewriting my history.

With all this going on I’m finding life even more confusing, but I at least understand why. Now I have to find ways to work with what I have going for me, those are the things I’m still trying to figure out. What structure I can put in place myself and what structure I need help with. I did at least figure out that I light up when someone asks me for help with something, I start firing on all cylinders ready to win. also when I want to know something I get the same revved up feeling. Oh and argue, I get that one from my father, but where he says black is white, I might say it’s just a little lighter than black or it’s a brown black instead of a blue black, deeply analytical to the precision of my own perception. which may not be theirs.

And yes I do a lot of that “…on the other hand”  stuff. but I’ve never counted how many hands I actually have. There were at least 8 in that sludge I peeled away.

Now, like you said I have to build in the external motivations, every day. Set timers, every day…

I did find a pattern that is working, for now anyway. 30/10, 30 minutes of work to 10 minutes of break time. I know that won’t be practical in the real world of time-clock punching, but it’s working here at home. I don’t know what I’m going to do in that world, I can only hope I find a job that offers diversity, especially between learning and teaching, those two activities seem to keep me focused and creatively sharp, for longer periods than just the mundane stuff. Unless they want me to plan a complicated course outline, –for that I need the help of a neuro-typical. One who can organize steps.

No off putin taken. You actually shed some light on something I was to close to to see. Especially framing it in the “in your head” format. I live in my head so much of the time that I too forget there is a real world in real time out here. That the instantaneous results I get in my head don’t apply out here. I still have to trudge through the slow actions of body space and time, weather I like it or not.

Man I’m gonna have to read through this later, try to remember some of it.

Oh yeah, frozen by decisions, and mistakes of the past. A very big issue with me too. When everything has the same priority mark it’s hard to tell what is really more important. Like having 5 bills due on the same day, and only enough money to pay three of them …I don’t watch TV any more, well cable TV. I don’t receive the newspaper any more. I chose to keep my avenues of two way communication, over one way communication. Maybe that one was a little too easy. the tougher one is lights, gas, mortgage, water, and cat food.

That’s what I was working on over the last week, I nearly lost the privileged of keeping my home by sacrificing one of, what I thought was, a non-essential, my auto club membership. I did not realize that it was tied to my homeowners insurance the same way as it was to my auto insurance. Wake-up call; The choices went from what do I pay now, to what can I sell now, to get it paid.

I had paperwork for two organizations that are trying to help me, to finish and turn in. Shut off notices to deal with, insurance policy to straighten out or (lose my home). Mortgage payment to secure, Stuff still in the back yard to decide if I going to try another sale or get rid of. A job to find. A trailer to sell (no nibbles there). I am being swallowed in decisions and a pile of crises that I haven’t been able to handle. Oh, and the summer taxes are coming due in July. And the cats still need food. I’m now inviting the fly’s in, so the cats have something to nibble on while I sort this mess out. I could go on but you got the gist of it.

I think, I might even be to the point that a neuro-typical would freeze.

I do have an Angel though. My Michigan Rehabilitation worker gave me the number to a Realtor who helped me, even so far as to three-way call my insurance company to help me out of this mess. We did it by the skin of out teeth.

I read someplace, that the deepest wellspring of human endurance and strength, is Hope! Our last line of defense. Where there is hope there is a path no matter how hidden it is there! I have to say I really believe that now.

Well Damon now that your eyes are red from reading I want to thank you again for helping me see the truth of my stuck-ness, so I could pick myself up by the heel of my tenny-runners and get on with what I needed to do.

Good night, friend.

Evelyn

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Evelyn, that Michigan Rehabilitation worker and that Realtor are great people to have on your side!

And it sounds like your instincts told you that the rainstorm was coming, and that’s what gave you the drive to bag the clothes and load them into the cab of your truck, so they wouldn’t get wet.  You didn’t know why you were so driven to complete the task at that time; you just knew you had to do it.  And you did.  Brava!

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[sdwa]

@ Evelyn:

The way you describe this therapist raises “red flags” for me – that she’s impatient or belittling, that she truly does not understand the problem – and that she’s refusing information is just not cool.

I really like the way you captured emotion in that poem – I get a clear sense of feeling from it, which I think is a big part of makes poems work.

 

 

@seabassd:

Love what you’re saying about not being able to see the end game.  I also think it’s a great question, to ask how a person who’s not confused right now would handle this problem.

 

A lot of stuff goes on in my mind that feels huge to me but doesn’t seem to connect well to what other people see, think, or experience – or even to what’s going on externally. I feel like I’m constantly swimming through an ocean of noise and chaos, trying not to drown in it. It’s an enormous amount of work just to be a person.

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[Evelyn]

@Larynxa

Thanks, instinct or not, I did at least finish that one little job start to finish avoiding an awesome consequence. For that I am very proud of my decision to do it.

Some people in the state funded programs are amazing, but like my fathers argument of black and white. I think there aren’t any shades in the middle when it comes to these services. Either they are in it to help others, or they are in it to help themselves. Maybe I am being a little selfish in my observation, but I think it’s time!  Before I lose everything. My MRS worker and the Realtor are two in the very white zone. My therapist and my DHS worker, well… I’ll let my Dad speak here…

But even now, with all I know, there is that nagging feeling that I should shut-up and count my blessings. I do still have hope…

I know one thing, if by some miracle I get my self caught up and the taxes paid, I would definitely take a little trip camping for a couple days, maybe swim in the lake or something. Swimming in the Big Piney river was one of our little rewards when we were kids.

 

@sdwa

Thank’s for noticing, I am still hoping she tries, so that maybe we could have a therapist in the area who understands ADHD. I am going to try asking her to review her new hand book the DSM-5 in the section on ADHD. Dr. Barkley was on AttentionTalkRadio last week, “ADHD-ADD: The Gift or Curse Debate with Dr. Russell Barkley” and mentioned it in the broadcast. His views are scientific, clinical, and a little dire, but it might be sharp enough to get through to my therapist. I know she won’t listen to the broadcast but she might open a book that should be available to every therapist in the building. On the other hand I might be able to print out a couple pages to get her started from the internet. If she still refuses, I will certainly drop her.

I love that you got the feeling I tried to express in the poem, it means a lot when I know someone other than myself get’s it. I haven’t written anything that “off the cuff” in ages. I used to write little prompts for my open mic poetry group that were cryptic and full of metaphor to help them explore new ways of conveying the experience of emotion besides only using the noun that represents it, like love or hate or missing you. Just the nouns alone tend to be kinda flat.

I am close to being emotionally ready to write poetry again, and perhaps start a new poetry group. I love the idea of it, but it is a lot of work preparing for the meetings. I can’t just call a meeting and not have something to keep them occupied while they listen to other people read. I think while they are working on the exercises, the poetry of other people take on a deeper meaning, because they are immersed in that frame of mind already.

I’m sorry I do get carried away, thank you for reading my poem. Do you write poetry too? If so, have you posted any, so I can read it?

Evelyn

 

 

 

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[allan wallace]

*gulp* Phew, that was heavy going! It’s un-nerving and frightening to read about oneself with other names attached to the posts, no?….*sigh*….I wonder if there will ever be a panacea for ADHD? 🙁

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[allan wallace]

Oops, sorry for being a downer. I hope that you navigate your way through this crisis soon Evelyn, and I’m sure that you will, because somehow we always do…. 🙂

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