Sex and A.D.D.

[Anonymous]

Holy crap, it never occurred to me about the sex! I’ve always had trouble staying “in the moment”. I find it easier to fantasize about than to do… although, I have found that booze certainly helps. Mind you, with certain medications that route is probably inadvisable. :S

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has ADD and when he was taking his medicine he would sometimes have trouble keeping a hard enough erection for sex. This never happened on the weekends because he wouldn’t take the medicine (this is how we figured out what the problem was)

Has anyone else had this experience?

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Dr. J

I have chronic ED which is secondary to generalized anxiety. I can’t perform without Cialis. I went to a eurologist and he determined that there was nothing physiologically wrong with me. Is there an inexpensive way of buying Cialis?

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I get tremendously distracted. I didn’t know what it was. I thought I was subconsciously gay or something but it turned out that I was just having random thoguhts racing through my head. There was an episode of Star Trek the next generation where data kisses a woman and she asks him what he was thinking during the kiss and he rambles off a bunch of things and she replies I’m glad i was in there somewhere. I tried something called tantra and it helped alot but like many things it decreased in effectiveness over time. The first time I was so in the moment that I had the most intense orgasm of my life. it was awesome. loved it. then it didn’t give me as much pleasure over time. since i’m alone at the moment there’s what’s known as selflove and I have to look at pics rather than use my imagination because i need something to focus on. and even then it’s tough.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I found out about my ADD when i was 52, life was very hard, and I was simply getting no were, one day i was smarter then anyone and the next I was so dumb i could not get out of my own way. I could do anything i wanted in my head, but when put it into action wow! I started tons of projects and finished few. I have always made lists to get important things done like pay bills and get groceries………I felt like my own worst enemy, things i knew i could do became overwhelming and i would unknowingly sabotage it and write it off as it was not ment to be and your are not so smart as you think. I have always been told I do not try hard enough and when I tried as hard as I could it was so overwhelming I felt like my mind would shut it self off. If I had not struggled to move forward I would not finally have this great job. I teach!!!! I get paid to talk. I have had many jobs I called stepping stones to where I am now, went to college in my early 30’s, I have a BS degree with a major in Rehab, that was a long trip, but I am glad I did not give up. My current job challenges my every day and I like it. I also have Dyslexia….thanks for listening.

REPORT ABUSE

[BuxomDiva]

ThursdaysChild if you’re anywhere in Toronto could I come and meet your dog? I LOVE Newfies! lol (recently adopted an English Bulldog who is 72 pounds of velcro – since I don’t entertain here I don’t have to worry about keeping her or all the cats out of the bedroom)

I have a friend who tells me that he never does the cuddling thing since it’s all he can do to stay focused for the duration of “the act”.

When I was younger I used to play cribbage in my head, literally. I just thought I was bored with my husband!

for many years the drug companies didn’t care if women lost sexual desire as a side effect of medications; that is finally changing, thank goodness.

kc you’re very lucky to have such an understanding husband!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I’m with you Bill.

That same little trick has worked well in other areas of my life as well.

Transforming in my mind a normally dull and mundane chore into a fun

and exciting adventure.

Or when the boinkity-boink-boink just seems to go on and on and on to no avail.

I’m into fitness and love working out so seeing sex as an opportunity for a relatively

quick yet total full body workout also helped me to focus, Just be careful not to over focus

on this one… This can also be a double edge sword…

Have fun!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

UH OH…. 48yr old M and YIKES .. Was i hyper focussing during sex? I was recently diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and very much mistreated or lets say to be nice not treated holistically (that is changing as I type this) . Typical 2 ADD/ADHD marriages here…. First marriage was a disaster knocked her up when I was young and married her as i thought it was the “right” thing to do Son from that marriage sadly has ADD/ADHD syndrome although he is on somewhat of a road to repair…. although BR was ok it had many short commings. Not ED on my side….. she was not aroused or creative as I so BORRING so blah blah…… 2nd marriage Interesting she was the dominant one CREATIVE in bed (Her family history has OCD-Bipolar-Hoarding and ADD/ADHD issues) to what extent it is tough to find out as she is in a family that is very secretive about there conditions as some of the family is involved in Medical field and Politics so they just under the rug the “blacksheep”…. She was motivated in the B-room by money so that was my motivater we had a great business made tons of cash but since she handled the administrative aspects of our life she controlled and manipulated me as to how to be in the work place and home and that was often to her advantage…….. Hense, because of my ADD/ADHD she manipulated me everyway she could (YEP U guessed it she was/is a psyche nurse) and she had me so set up in divorce finacially with paperwork I did not sign I should have and mentally by making outrageous acusations against me substantiated only by her friends/family in high places that reached outside the traditional courtroom that once she hooked the foreign surgeon “Adios” to me…….. Yes I do feel sorrry for the surgeon as he will be next…….. So yes if you are a male or female and hyperfocussing on sex PROTECTION is a must how about abstinence until you discuss SEX with your partner and your health care professional to help surpress any future issues (Do i dare say) that might come up in the future………..

REPORT ABUSE

[BAM123]

Am I the only one with the opposite problem? I have a srong sex drive and daydream about it fairly often (I’m Male go figure) I have a tendency to be hyperfocussed on it and look to it as a major stress and anxiety release – afterwords I can focus much better on tasks. Also, have recurring fantasies about the same thing (person) over and over fairly frquently – occaisonally to the point of compulsive thoughts.

I kind of feel like odd man out because no one seems to talk about much or at all and wonder if this could drift into the area of OCD.. After being diagnosed I thought perhaps it was the adrenaline rush and stimulation that helped me to quell my ADD symptoms – i.e. give me the stimulation my brain is screamin for…. but not many seems to have similar experiencesat least here on the forum

Any input?

REPORT ABUSE

[BuxomDiva]

BAM123 – a friend of mine, also an ADD’er, uses the term “zoom hunting” – and your comment seems to address the adrenaline rush component of sex. Are you able to maintain a relationship with one woman or is it all about the pursuit?

I would also suggest (based on personal experience) that you investigate the possibility of also having bipolar disorder, as hypersexuality is one of the hallmarks of that diagnosis. Apparently the number of us who are diagnosed with both conditions has increased rapidly over the last several years.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

catch 22 situation: a killer orgasm is a great way of completely emptying my brain (i can think nice and slowly, one thing at a time, and feel very ‘present’ for a good ten minutes afterwards- well, not to begin with, but yes- i’m sure the BF enjoys the peace and quiet during that initial gormless stupefied period), but paying attention enough to enjoy it, let alone get there- not easy- even with powertools.

gawd, if its not one thing….. the cat meows outside the bedroom door and puts his little paw under there and starts fishing around, grabs hold of a pair of knickers, and tries to pull them under the door, which cracks me up laughing….. i worry that the neighbours can hear me and will give me a funny look next time they see me or use me as free porn (lol)…… the phone rings and i can’t leave it, but don’t want to answer all breathless- or i start to think “omg, what if the phone rings and its my mum and its an emergency” and then i start thinking about my parents and can’t do it……. i get an itch or feel a hair tickling me- and if i itch it, its bigger itchier friends show up- if i don’t, all i can think is ‘arrrgggggghitchyitchyitchy’ ….. i get kneecramp, a dry mouth, hair in my face, hairclip falls out, have to stop for a drink, pillows are uncomfortable, lying on a wrapper…… something weird comes into my head and puts me off entirely, i analyse every single thing about what we’re doing and start to question what the hell i’m doing in my relationship and then i feel guilty and end up deciding i’m leaving- all cos my neck wasn’t kissed just right…… if its too quiet i get psyched out, but if i’m not careful i start singing along when there is music playing- and the bf starts laughing cos i’m apparently exceptionally cute, and then i start talking, and that distracts me, and his eyes glaze over cos i’m rambling….

….. the poor man is a saint.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

My problem is I.ve lost interest in sex, I have limited interest an erection is only half the story; being on heavy duty psychotropics killed my interest. It would be nice to feel aroused and regain the “love making skills” I once had before I went on psychotropic medication I mean, after all, I am in a stable relationship; does anyone have a suggestion short of “stop taking my meds?”

K

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Hi Scatterkat,

My wife took Wellbutrin for a while. Its an anti-depressant that works pretty well. One pleasant side effect was that my wife was suddenly “very much in the mood” all the time, so during this period sex was frequent and fun. You might ask your doctor about it. If you google side effects for this med, you’ll see that they mention a more active libido. Its not talked about much in general, but I felt like this med was almost an aphrodisiac the way she reacted to it. If the med works for you, you and your husband might also gain some side benefits that probably would go a long way to helping with depression too.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I’ve found that ADHD kids are probably the most effective deterrent. Now that I know I have ADD as well, it explains a lot.

Hard to get anything going when you never know if somebody’s gonna barge in without knocking at any moment.

@Giddygoat: Interesting point! Several years back I had a similar experience. Only now did I think back and remember. I think my wife was taking Wellbutrin at the time!

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I can get distracted, but it seems it’s mostly voices that do it. I can’t seem to be happy in a relationship unless there’s lots of sex (and some of that is probably because that’s one place where I feel really comfortable, where I really feel confident, where I really feel like a “real man”). To tell the truth, I could probably easily become a sex addict… if I had a clue how to pick up women. I have a very hard time gauging a female’s interest. The few that were interested in me…I only thought they wanted me as a friend. If I thought they were interested in me, they did only want me as a friend. Once they did make a move, I took over and was in the driver’s seat. But it wasn’t until I was 36 that I actually made the first move.

So, because of the loneliness, I never really ended up with a person I chose, I always settled for whomever chose me instead.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts