The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Is It Just Me? › There's a "tone" to my voice that everyone hates
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March 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm #106430
AnonymousInactiveMarch 15, 2012 at 3:26 pmPost count: 14413Well Robbo….awareness is always the first step…yes???? Without it …..the rest of the journey is not likely to happen.
Toofat
REPORT ABUSEMarch 15, 2012 at 9:36 pm #106431Robbo – the extra breath thing – seriously?! I’ve been getting pulled up about that my whole life.
I’m not sighing. I’m not huffing and puffing. I wasn’t aware I was doing it. I’m not doing it to piss anyone off. There is nothing wrong. I just breathe like that sometimes.
Honestly, the amount of things in my life that I find out I share with other people on here that I’ve been made to feel bad about in my life that are really nothing – it’s amazing.
Who actually gives a toss that we take an extra breath sometimes?!
REPORT ABUSEMarch 15, 2012 at 9:41 pm #106432PMSL ADD alert. You were quoting me weren’t you!
o my word
Sometimes it feels like I only have half a brain.
REPORT ABUSEMarch 16, 2012 at 12:40 am #106433
AnonymousInactiveMarch 16, 2012 at 12:40 amPost count: 14413Hahahaha…..Tid you make me giggle!! Jeeze was I supposed to feel bad there…….damn…..I’ll get it right next time!!!
Hahahaha… that’s rich!! Thanks for the smile….
Toofat
REPORT ABUSEMarch 16, 2012 at 7:39 am #106434hehe, yep- quoting you cuz I can totally relate!. I just did it again too! lol. Seriously, fortunately I’m alone so I don’t have to worry about someone thinking I’m in a dang Huff!, Crap I WAS JUST TAKINAH DEEP BREATH FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!! lol. (that’s what I’d say if “other people” were here with me). and like Munch, I still don’t get the social skills stuff all the time. Body language is like chinese ta me!
****SSSIIIGGHHH**** huff puff****
Sometimes we find other ADDers out there that actually can understand it’s just a deep breath, cuz we want to… period. And they don’t think nuthin of it, huh? I like it when that happens. Lately I’ve almost been inundated with fellow suffering souls, accept I’m diagnosed, they are not, and I don’t know if I have the heart to tell em about the process we’ve gone through/going through… I’m afraid to… well you know. Ever try to help an obvious ADHD suffering maniac? and see that da-nile is not just a river in Egypt?
There are lot’s of people with our symptoms around. Realizing that makes me feel less like I’m just one of “us” and not part of “them”, instead it’s just a big “we”. Accept for “other people” they’re the ones I just don’t understand. lol. Make sense? ***giggeling lak a crazy man****
Other people!!! Ack! that’s a big problem. There are some very hopelessly crazy people in the world, folks that may not ever get a diagnosis. fortunately we can get well, then clown around and try to bring a little bit of happiness into the lives of folks with problems much larger than our own. Our talent for thinking different is sometimes just what some of the worlds craziest people need. We see things and people differently. We’re the down to earth folks that will sit down with a homeless person and listen, really care, and give them some hope about getting on with life, maybe getting some real help for problems that are similar but not the same as ours.
We know suffering, pain, grief, and loneliness.
That’s makes us special in a good way. So we do indeed have a place in this world, a useful part to play. I’ve been trying to do that more. Think about me less, them more. Feels good.
3-16-12 12:24 am pst
REPORT ABUSEMarch 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm #106435You people are freak’en amazing. you have described my family as I was growing up to a tee! This is what I learnt getting your point across was LOL!! the more focus and blunt you were the more sure you were right.so being the youngest of nine, it sure would get loud at our house. Every one thought they were right and every one would get loud and hurt feeling, and always to proud to admit you were wrong. sad thinking back nine kids and two parents and the only one who wasn’t undiagnosed adhd was my poor mother GOD!! rest her soul. it would get pretty loud and emotional at our house growing up. Their might be others undiagnosed ,but you know how it is being caught up in a tornado ,would get your world spinning out of control wheather you were ready or not.
Hard to believe that some people don’t believe that adhd is real. when you start to read this stuff. its hard for me thinking about how I grew up and not to believe. So thanks Again for giving me so many people to relate to,and such great and insightful look into my past.
thanks all
Trashman
REPORT ABUSEMarch 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm #106436Tiddler – that extra sigh….. I am SOOOO sick of people making huffing noises at me when I take that extra breath. It’s like I forget to breath and it’s a little gulp of air – a sigh. I must say since I started Ritalin I don’t do it as much – or maybe people just don’t huff at me as much.
REPORT ABUSEMarch 19, 2012 at 7:07 am #106437
AnonymousInactiveMarch 19, 2012 at 7:07 amPost count: 14413Unfortunately I had to skip through what most people said or I will forget what I want to say (I’m sure u can relate lol) as a kid my parents always said it was my tone, before I figured out and got diagnosed with adhd I used to say I am just more blunt than the majority of the public, and now I know that its more fear of not getting out what I want to say because its feels so important that I may forget! I have been fired from jobs for apparently saying something that offends customers when It was always with the best of intentions and a lot of the time I feel the need to do damage control as when you say something it is met with complete silence from the other party…apparently sorry is used wayyyy too often in my vocabulary or if you took it in this context I actually meant it in this context after I think about it and it goes around and around in my brain for a few hours! Now I can go back and read the rest of the posts in this thread Thanks!
REPORT ABUSEMarch 27, 2012 at 4:15 am #106438Hey! that’s true Scattybird!. Since I’ve started taking the ritalin (methylphenidate 5mg 3 times a day) I think I do that deep breath sigh thing less. It’s a funny thing when I’m able to lighten up some about it. I just try to spend less time around really critical people. They are the ones who object to my RIGHT TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH!! it’s a simple human right. Right? :i) Maybe being less distracted allows us to remember to breath! lol. So we don’t need to catch up with a bid deep one?
Sigh… another deep satisfying breath. It just feels good to get a good “hit” of oxygen. How can any part of that be bad? “-) A deep breath always helps when I’m struggling to remember something too.
Trashman,
Great post, real encouraging too. I’m the second youngest of 8 kids, mixed broken families… It may have been better with good mental health care, we struggled. I can easily see the ADHD symptoms in some of my family. Accept my Dad, he didn’t have an undisciplined bone in his body. (seemingly…) I don’t think about that part of my past much any more. Tons of therapy has beaten that dead horse to bits.
I’m grateful the 80’s are over with, and hope to leave all that crazy new age, blame your parents stuff behind. It’s nice to know that I wasn’t the only one here that went through a difficult time being little, in a house full of bigger people. feeling all by itself, that can be hard. I’m still grateful I’ve got my family. Even if we don’t actually talk much.
I too think lot’s of the folks here are amazing. My life is very much better because of the hours and hours of reading I’ve done here. Still haven’t even bought one book, all the info is here if I dig hard enough.
<<<<“Unfortunately I had to skip through what most people said or I will forget what I want to say (I’m sure u can relate lol)”>>> yep, I do that a lot Momlifelove, and your whole post too. I’ve been fired for my “tone” but if you ask me, even I know I was being a jackass! lol. But I’ve already said I’m sorry, all done justifying my existence. Can you relate to the “justifying my existence” stuff? Ack! done with that too, mostly.
On posting here, now I start writing my reply in a word processor, comment on some, read more, comment on another, then edit proofread. Post, proofread again, click edit, fix, then hopefully it’s enough… I sometimes read the ones I skimmed through again later. I just have to remember to click on “favorites”. I keep folders of “best stuff to re-read” and one called “READ THIS” on my desktop. Another called “best of totallyadd threads” with entire threads saved as an .rtfd file with clickable links. [mac file name] There is a colossal amount of education here, organizing and backing it all up on disks is yet another “project” I’m always working on… it’s way high on my list of priorities.
There’s a method to my madness. That’s just fun to say.
Thank you tons gang
3-26-12
REPORT ABUSEMarch 27, 2012 at 5:44 am #106439March 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm #106440I think its funny when I am focused on one topic. I think the look in my eyes comes with a blazing fire, and a tone to match. I find people feel like they are being threatened at that moment. not true I am just really focused and not angry at all. misunderstood alot because of this.
REPORT ABUSEMarch 27, 2012 at 7:50 pm #106441Yes Trashman I know what you mean. When I focus people think I am in a grumpy mood – NO – I am just trying not to be distracted.
Also I am getting sick of people (someone) I work with saying I am thinking one thing when I am not. How dare people people make assumptions like that without even asking what I am thinking.
And then someone in a van gave me a load of abuse yesterday because he assumed I was annoyed with him. Actually I was, but I internalised it so he shouldn’t have known.
So it’s more how I look rather than what I say that gets me into trouble.
And today during a course feedback session one of my students kindly offered me advice on how I should structure the module. It would have been better received if he’d actually turned up to any of it so he could have spoken knowledgeably. So that was one time my facial expression matched my verbal blurb! Lucky for him I had taken my Ritalin – I could feel the anger but I controlled it. Whoooh. (I should point out that I gratefully took on board what the others said – they had regularly turned up to stuff.)
So I also get accused of being a control freak. But as some of you guys have said, that comes with the territory. I think I’m scared of working to someone else’s time frame and agenda because how I do things and my speed is so different from others that I feel overwhelmed if I don’t have control.
Sorry to sound negative – hope you all have a great week. Spring is here this side of the Atlantic.
REPORT ABUSEMarch 27, 2012 at 7:59 pm #106442
AnonymousInactiveMarch 27, 2012 at 7:59 pmPost count: 14413The problem with a lot of people is that they don’t care to try to understand you. They are self centered and usually don’t care about anyone but themselves. They make ignorant assumptions based on their expectations of conformity. There is nothing wrong with speaking passionately. These people just need to get over themselves and open their minds. Not everyone is the same. To expect everyone to conform to your expectations is just ignorant and intolerant.
REPORT ABUSEMarch 27, 2012 at 8:12 pm #106443I think you are right dennis – the person who thinks she knows what I am thinking is very self centered. She is probably relecting her own failings back onto me.
That’s probably the case for the others here who experience ‘cr*p’ from other people too.
Hey guys – we all have a right to be who we are and to think and speak the way we do.
REPORT ABUSEMarch 28, 2012 at 12:19 am #106444
AnonymousInactiveMarch 28, 2012 at 12:19 amPost count: 14413Exactly right, Scattybird! And if they can’t accept you for yourself they can go to hell.
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