What to replace anxiety with to get something done?

[Tiddler]

I was feeling pretty pleased with myself at first. I was glad of the diagnosis over the summer and knowing that I will Never Ever get things done by ‘just trying harder’ was a relief as I didn’t have to fight it any more. My anxiety just floated away and I’ve carried it with me my whole life.

The problem now is that I think the anxiety served a useful purpose. Without it I just can’t focus At All. Nothing. There’s nothing in my head. I drank 4 cups of coffee in a row before I could get any of my urgent writing for work done today. Then the down afterwards wasn’t great.

Chemical question, please?

Did the anxiety change the chemicals that were present in my brain, providing me with enough of something I need to be able to focus when I really really pushed myself.? Now, no matter how hard I try I just can’t think. It’s like all the neurons that run around the grand canyon on little dendrite feet in my head and fall into it aren’t getting out, ever, and instead of some of them falling in, all of them are leaping over the edge before I’ve had a chance to say hi.

I can hardly follow a conversation. I actually admitted to someone today that there was ‘just nothing in there’, pointing to my head.

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[Anonymous]

Not saying this is you but sometimes I hear something similar from the kids I work with. They push themselves hard to get their work done (and yes, it’s a struggle) every single day. Then comes the fateful day where they hear those letters- ‘ADD’.

Then what happens? Exactly as you describe. Outer space. Nothing up there. Lights on, no one home.

When I start trying to light fires under them to get them working I hear things like, “I can’t. I have ADD.” “You can’t expect me to do this. It’s too hard for me. I have ADD.” And so on and so on.

What changed? Just having a diagnosis. Suddenly, they become unable. I think it has more to do with finally realizing there was a reason they’ve struggled to keep up with everyone else. So when they get a diagnosis, it’s almost like forgiving themselves (you know we always beat ourselves up for not doing a good enough job) for always ‘just’ making it in everything they do.

Their diagnosis becomes a huge inward sigh of relief for themselves. Suddenly, they don’t have to hate themselves anymore for not being fast enough at doing their work, not being good enough at something, and they don’t have to beat themselves up all the time for continually messing something up. They give themselves permission to say, “Enough. It’s too much to fight this thing. I tried before but I found out I have ADD and that is a real reason for stuff being so difficult for me. Just stop fighting the inevitable. You can’t do it so don’t even try.”

They have a reason not to work because they’ve decided to stop beating themselves up because there WAS a real reason they ‘couldn’t’. (at least in THEIR minds)

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[Tiddler]

zsazsa, I can understand that. I think it’s a normal reaction to a huge situation, especially for children. But I don’t think that’s quite what’s describing. I love having interesting conversations with my friends. It makes me so frustrated when my head just doesn’t do anything and it’s embarrassing to have to admit that I have no idea what I was trying to say. I love my job. I work for a charity I feel passionate about and I want to get the work done well and on time. I’m TRYING. Really hard. But nothing is happening.

I still expect myself to be able to do it and it’s shocking to me how bad it’s got suddenly – and because of the diagnosis I am absolutely certain. But I don’t think I’ve given up and I don’t think I have a ‘you can’t do it so don’t bother’ attitude. I think I’ve always used panic as a method of coping. I panicked over everything all the time. I’ve been treated for depression and anxiety since my early teens. I don’t think I was depressed, as much as highly anxious and I think I was anxious because that’s what it took to get me moving.

The trouble is, now I’m not panicking about not being able to do stuff – because I don’t blame myself as you have noticed in the children – but I’m trying to light fires under myself to get the jobs done and I don’t know how. With help from a friend and a LOT of coffee, I feel like I coped for a couple of hours yesterday like I used to. Still distractable but getting it done with a boatload of effort.

I’m trying all sorts of other strategies, like giving myself false deadlines, the coffee, setting aside specific times to do specific jobs, writing instead of typing, doing it late at night when I feel ‘wired’ and can’t sleep, doing it when it’s quiet, doing it with music on…

None of it is working. I was excited about finding additional ways to help with this, but it turns out that I’ve accidentally lost the one successful strategy I already had – a heightened anxiety state. And there’s nothing successful in its place yet and I don’t know how to get the anxiety back just to get the job done!

does that make sense?

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[Tiddler]

I went shopping today and for the second time this month had to walk out because I couldn’t pay – last time I’d lost my card, used my husband’s and forgotten the PIN number. This time I’d lost my card again, used my husband’s new one with a promise to look after it and actually lost it between home and the shop. I didn’t realise till I was trying to pay.

I actually burst into tears when I got home this time.

This is really difficult. What is going on with me? Has anyone else experienced this? I can’t manage to keep a thing in my head.

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[Tiddler]

Had chat with husband. he thinks I’m no different but i’m noticing it more now.

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[kc5jck]

Since learning about ADD and thinking I probably have it, I am becoming more aware of behavior and actions indicative of ADD. I also am beginning to rationalize behaviors as ADD related in order to avoid doing things needing to be done.

So although until recently I believe I have been fairly productive and performing above average, I am now allowing ADD to have a greater negative impact. Or perhaps I am just noticing it more. I don’t have to worry about what the boss thinks, I’m self employed.

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[Tiddler]

I can appreciate that must be frustrating for you, but I don’t think this is what I’m describing.

Rationalising behaviours as ADD to avoid stuff doesn’t explain my inability to hold a conversation or buy a loaf of bread? I wasn’t sitting there thinking, ‘That’s too hard. I can’t do it.’ I was at the till trying to pay.

I’ve spent my whole life believing I’m lazy/not trying hard enough and, now, when I thought I could put that behind me, I seem to be displaying traits that people (here) are assuming are about me not trying at all any more?

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[munchkin]

@Tiddler: I do believe there is a theory out there that the anxiety does temporarily produce the chemistry that makes the executive function work better, and also that coffee is woefully inadequate to the task. (Check out Dr. Russell Barkley for more info) Stimulant medication has helped a lot for me, but it still doesn’t replace that good old panic of when the task is overdue and it’s crunch time… I’m hoping that by being on medication over a period of time, I will learn to coordinate my tasks and organize my stuff in a way that reduces the opportunities for losing my husband’s debit card… been there, done that! I need to have progress in more than one area of life, so things can gradually begin to smooth out for me. One of the most useful video’s I’ve found is the one listed under “Sponsored Videos” called “Holistic Treatment Approach.” I suggest you check that one out, I keep going back to it over and over. @zsazsa and kc5jck: I found that once I finally had the definitive diagnosis of ADD, the wind went out of my sails like I think you both described. The rationales that I had been using pre-diagnosis to make the best of my abilities got blown out of the water and I was shocked that I temporarily lost ground. This has really pissed me off, and I have rebounded and tried to re-start the strategies that were working if possible and try out new things that other ADD’ers are suggesting. I refuse to take the backwards progress to heart, and am giving myself a lot of pep talks to treat each day as a new start and give myself time to process this new information about ADD.

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[munchkin]

Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=wF1YRE8ff1g

Disclaimer: Russell Barkley is adamant that ADD is curse, not gift. I know that rubs some people the wrong way, and I find it a bit disconcerting to hear at times. However, he is very knowledgable in his field, and I think he is trying to push for funding and research which typically does not get done to cure gifts… therefore, he makes the point that it’s a curse. Anyway – any veiws expressed are his not mine, but he has some good scientific information about how ADD might be operating in our brains… hope you find it interesting…

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[Anonymous]

Barkley is most informative … in 3 months since diagnosis, i would say he has given me more useful information than

any that i have been able to get … it is frustrating

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[Anonymous]

Tiddler, are you on medication? If not, maybe you need to be, and if you are, maybe you’re on the wrong drug or wrong dosage. Both of the stimulants have differing effects on anxiety levels (I read somewhere that Adderall is better for those with anxiety than Ritalin, because the Ritalin can sometimes increase anxiety). So it’s something to look into.

I am the opposite to you I think. I have loads of anxiety but it stops me from progressing more often than it pushes me to work. I worry about not doing the job correctly, about how I am going to manage the job, about what could go wrong….etc. etc. I get such a feeling of dread when I attempt to start a task that it usually puts me off before I have started. But I must admit that I can see where you are coming from despite this. Stress and anxiety have a certain role in the body, and not having any would be just as crippling as having too much!

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[billd]

Munchkin and tea – gotta agree. What he says FITS ME and actually my family to a T (or is that TEA? Or maybe TEE?)

His motives are to help people, and you don’t get help with sugar, you get it with a bit of noise. In this country, Congress funds nothing that might work itself out, you gotta be a killer, something that directly threatens them or their ability to get re-elected before you get funding. I think his motives are pure, and for the best interest of ADHD people like me -who have it SO severe we can’t keep jobs, and are struggling through life in general – even to the point of having issues with other things (in my case, my heart now)

His info matches my patterns, my thinking, and the diagnosis I’ve gotten, and my life patterns and troubles over the last 54 years.

Anxiety can either co-exist, or be caused by, or make ADD symptoms worse. Again, chicken and egg – that’s why they have been testing me so much to make sure it’s not anxiety causing the symptoms. My response – it’s all their testing and delay that’s causing me anxiety – I had none before starting all this! LOL

So many things can be caused by the same too much or too little of various chemicals – for example, I finally got it to click in my head that all of these MANY years of doctors telling me how my blood pressure was always SO low, even in stressful times like harvest, planting, etc. – and my heart rate was slow – one doctor said my heart “just sits there and idles, not working hard at all.

Gee, guys – anyone figure out that that is a PROBLEM, too – and NOT a blessing? Not enough oxygen to the brain? bradycardia they call it – it can lead to NOT enough oxygen to the brain, shortness of breath (that’s me after 1 flight of stairs) and other issues, dizziness (well I also have menieres) and tingly hands (I also have raynauds)

And guess what one of the chemicals is that is used to treat this issue? dopamine

Ever see that chemical connected with any other issues?

HMMM – so is my bradycardia, shortness of breath, ADHD, etc all caused by a chemical imbalance? The SAME chemical imbalance??

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[Tiddler]

Bill, that really sounds difficult. I have had problems with tachycardia and had the same experience with having no energy to walk, light headedness etc.

This part is where I’m at:

Anxiety can either co-exist, or be caused by, or make ADD symptoms worse. Can it also IMPROVE ADHD symptoms? And why would I feel worse without it? Emotionally better, physicall better, but with tumbleweed where my brain used to be!

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[munchkin]

Whoa Bill – I have very low blood pressure too, and the cholesterol that’s supposed to be high is too low… I feel like this has to relate to the brain somehow. I don’t bother talking to doc’s about this – they think low blood pressure is not a problem unless it’s making you faint. I used to wake up every morning and not be able to walk for the first 30 seconds or so – when I was a kid. My legs would buckle and I’d fall down. I used to get all kinds of sighs and eye rolls about this- quit the drama! It was weird, but it went away as I got older. Also, some kids with Autism are given cholesterol supplements, I want to try to figure out what that’s all about, does it relate to ADD? Tiddler, if anxiety gives you that rush of urgency that makes your brain function better, that could explain what your talking about. Still, it seems like a high price to pay. Hopefully you can find the right meds to function well, AND be able to relax. Carrie’s posts are interesting and talk about different meds she’s tried and what the effects feel like.

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[quizzical]

Tiddler,

Are you on ADD meds? Someone else asked this, but not sure if it was answered already; if I missed it, sorry!

I’m only speaking for myself, but I’ve definitely used anxiety to prod me along when nothing else would. That whole procrastination bit. Nothing like having a deadline to kick your brain into gear!

For me, the stimulation of the medication seems to be what kicks me into gear these days. Hard to know for sure, since I started meds the day I got my diagnosis.

You may indeed be noticing symptoms more. I know I am, in the sense that I am amazed at times at what I catch myself doing. I can’t help but wonder, Was I ALWAYS like this, and just clueless?

One thing that might help for motivation is to create some deadlines. For instance, if you need to clean your house, invite some people over for dinner next weekend! My husband and I joke that our house would never be clean if we didn’t have company once in a while.

If you need to declutter, schedule a day to take some things to a charity for donation. I’m lucky because in my area there are lots of charities that call me saying “We’ll be in your neighborhood on such-and-such day, do you have any items?” I always say yes. And then I forget about it until the reminder call the night before – but that’s the panic button I need, and I run around the house gathering up outgrown clothes! Not fun, but it gets done!

I’m working on this stuff, too, believe me. The meds are helping a lot with the daily motivation, but my big projects still need more strategies. Hang in there!

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