Worst advice – and from a therapist, no less.

[blackdog]

@sdwa– I’m very touchy too and tend to respond the same way you did to @Larynxa.  I get very defensive when people try to give me advice or suggestions I think I don’t actually need. I jump to the conclusion that they are criticizing or treating me like I am stupid.

I feel the same way about the idea that we have to help ourselves. If we could do that we wouldn’t be asking someone else for help, would we? I think it really needs to be taken on an individual basis. Some people need to be helped a little more than others.

My therapist referred me to a group for anxiety and I kept forgetting to call the woman who runs it and missed the start date. She had tried to reach me a few times, but she always managed to call when I wasn’t home somehow, even though I am home at least 75% of the time. She called my cell once but it said “private number”, so I ignored it, thinking it was a telemarketer.

When I finally did remember to call her she got nasty and went on about how she called 6 times and she was “not going to go through that again!” Like it was a real burden for her to have to pick up the phone.

I have difficulty remembering dates and keeping track of things, especially things that are weeks or months away, like the group was. They know this. They know it’s not my fault, that I can’t control it. Shouldn’t they be a little more sympathetic and help me out with it?

I quit seeing my doctor for several years for the same reason. He never had anything useful to say and never took me seriously. But this morning I went with Husband to see his doctor and he asked who my doctor is. When I told him he started singing his praises right away, how he’s so nice and such a great doctor. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. Couldn’t believe it. So I’m very confused now, trying to figure out why he’s never been that great with me.

And I have gone on way too long now. I think the battery in my keyboard is dying. iPad too.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Sdwa, been there, done that. And it was frustrating as hell. It shouldn’t be so hard to find someone who understands such a widespread condition. Or is open to learning about it. Or doesn’t treat it as a “moral failure”, like in those Victorian “cautionary tales” for children.

All that “broken” and “impaired” stuff is what the medical model is based on. Which makes us feel even worse about ourselves.

If something doesn’t work for us, we tend to think that the problem is “us” (more of that Victorian “moral failure” jazz).  But I’m learning that the problem was that the method just wasn’t right for us at that time.

Now, if I could just manage to remember that, at the time…

 

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