[Adrienne508]

Hi Wgreen,

I agree with you that “getting by” is no longer satisfying enough for many folks – I believe that all work is honorable. The frustration for me stems from not living up to my potential. I know I am capable of accomplishing more than I have, not just career-wise, but in any goal I may set for myself. I used to think I was lazy or just settled for mediocrity at best; this of course creates lots of negative self-image for me which is only intensified when I see some dolt who can barely structure a paragraph or open an e-mail become a CEO.

I don’t know if this is true for other ADDers, but I tend to have VERY high – unrealistically high – expectations of myself and therefore measure myself against a much loftier standard. Since I never measure up to what I think I should, I beat myself up for it, criticize myself, and hang my head in shame for being a ‘failure’ at most everything I try to do. Not healthy, I know. I’m trying to undo a life-long habit of self-criticism!

Truth is, being functional is a good thing! Heck, even having a job at all these days is an achievement!

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[Adrienne508]

Jeneticallymodified – wow, you are definitely not alone! I could cut & paste your description of yourself and use it to describe me exactly.

(side bar: one of the things I’ve been grappling with since being diagnosed with ADD is that many of us seem to be SO similar that I feel entirely predictable and redundant…less of a unique, special individual.)

I too have watched my school mates and peers achieve greater career success/earnings/accomplishments than me even though I am far more intelligent, clever, etc than many of them. All they seem to have that I lack is ‘action’. I have loads of creativity, ‘big ideas’, ambition, and all that – I just can’t get my arse in gear to make anything happen for myself, or to stick with one thing for long. So while others have followed a steady upward career path, I have zigged and zagged, changed gears, and chased shiny, blinky lights so often that I have no clue where I’m going or where I even want to go. Yikes! While it’s nice to help others move onward and upward, I am tired of being left behind.

That said, keep ’em laughing and don’t give up on yourself And if you can, marry rich! (just kidding!)

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[Adrienne508]

Hi Adam! I thinks it’s pretty common for ADDers to have shared that feeling of being a “failure” — I know I sure do! Like yourself, I have a very difficult time with follow-through and am constantly beating myself up for not taking enough (if any) action on my goals and ideas. It’s very frustrating and a bit depressing at times. You know you have all this potential, but some unexplained thing holds you back – well, it IS explained by being diagnosed with ADD. Still, it’s no fun watching others whiz past you when you know you have as much if not more ability, intelligence, etc.

I take medication (Adderall), which helps “wake up ” my brain, but it’s certainly not a cure-all, nor should it be expected to be. Understanding how your own ADD works is essential to well, making it work for you. There are lots of books out there on the subject!

ADD as a gift – I like to think of it that way, too – can be your creative mind, ability to make connections others don’t see, probably a great sense of humor, and so much more! It’s very much an individual journey as ADD presents uniquely in each person.

Good luck with your GP!! Let us know how it goes!

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[Adrienne508]

Thanks for the replies! I was able to get 20mg today! By the way, I’m in Southeast MA..

Redhead44 – I’m glad you were able to get the 10mg I haven’t tried the extended release variety either – I wonder if that is any better, especially if remembering to take the second dose is a problem. I find that my 20mg in the morning only lasts about 4 – 6 hours; is it better for you taking 2 doses AM and PM?

njadd – thank you for sharing this article. It really does always come down to profits for someone some where, doesn’t it?!? I’ve heard other stories like this in medical research where scientists/doctors delay releasing new findings that can help people NOW, but instead wait to negotiate, or until the market is more suitable, etc, etc. I hate to think that’s how it goes, but $ makes the world go ’round I suppose (hey, that rhymes!)

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[Adrienne508]

Wow Laffman, this post got some great feedback!

Yes, I concur that ADD/ADHD does not necessarily mean poor academics. I was always an Honor student throughout primary school, but like so many others who replied to this post, I too was a bit disruptive! I always had to blurt out a funny remark or snarky comment – I just couldn’t help myself I LOVE to make people laugh! I got my diagnosis in 2009 and finally it all made sense…well, at least there was an explanation

I too majored in English and got my B.A. in seven short years! I had no idea what I wanted to major in as far as a career path, but I liked the lit. classes and creative writing. Of course fiction was too much effort and lengthy – I focused on poetry!

I’d be all for an ADHD Showcase – great idea! HA! It amazes me how similar so many of us are in humor, personality, etc. Nice learning about all of you!!

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[Adrienne508]

Moka – wow, I didn’t realize feeling anxiety from aggressive people was an ADD thing. I definitely experience that!! Thought it was just me, not me with ADD. Thanks so much for sharing this!!

Did the coaching help you cope with the aggressive folks? I totally freeze up and cry in those situations. Not so much because the person is hurting my feelings, but because of my apparent inability to respond even though I very much want to! So frustrating!! It has definitely hindered me in my work life numerous times. I even quit a job because of a colleague whose behavior constantly had me on edge. I also had a boyfriend who later told me he just wanted me to argue back with him when he’d get annoyed at something. I would literally just freeze or say I’m sorry over and over and feel sick about it. I still do this. Rather than state my side of a disagreement, I freeze so as not to get the other person upset at me. As an ultimate people-pleaser I can’t stand it when someone is unhappy with me!! I self punish like crazy!!

Does anyone else relate?

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[Adrienne508]

Hi MyInattentiveADHD,

Going off meds during my pregnancy was interesting, to say the least! I couldn’t always tell what was ADD or hormonal. I’d heard of “pregnancy brain” and I think compounded with my ADD I was in an extra thick fog! I was lucky that my pregnancy was smooth, but I was a slug through all of it. I don’t know how I managed being preggers, off meds, working full-time and going to grad school – it was a rough semester!! But that’s one of the strengths of ADDers – we adapt well and compensate!! I still feel sluggish most of the time now – that comes with having a newborn!

momswithadd.com looks interesting…I’ll be sure to read more on there.

Too funny about the laundry!! I never even thought about it, but yes, that is definitely a big problem for me! I own at least a month’s worth of undies just so I don’t have to deal with doing the wash frequently. My husband washes his own clothes so he doesn’t have to wait for me to get to it…

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[Adrienne508]

Hi MyInattentiveADHD!

Congratulations on your diagnosis! It really is an eye-opener and a relief to understand what has felt “wrong” all your life. I was diagnosed in December of 2009 (at age 38) and suddenly all my challenges made sense. They didn’t go away, of course, but it just felt great having an explanation. I am more forgiving of myself now and can move past some things that used to stop me in my tracks. I currently take 20mg Adderall daily and that helps. I stopped the med for most of last year when I found out I was pregnant! Our baby boy was born 1/2/11 and I just resumed taking Adderall last week. It definitely makes a difference!

Thanks for the book suggestion – I will look for that one! There aren’t any ADHD support groups in my area either, so forums like this are a nice resource. I too was anxious to find as much info as possible after my diagnosis and was delighted to see ADD and Loving It on PBS!! What an awesome program!! I’d love to chat with you more and share the ADHD experience!

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