[L8ly Lost]

Hey Flowzonegal . .  . .   I think you are on the common roller-coaster of emotions ‘post’-diagnosis.  and I think this roller-coaster is harder for those of us who get diagnosed later in life.  I was diagnosed in my early 40’s . .  and yes, it was ‘exciting’!  Actually, it was like a huge burden off my shoulders.  There IS a REASON I am the way I am.  I’m not trying to be ‘difficult’, or rude, or ‘strong-willed’ (I’d probably be strong-willed w/o this disability!), or lazy, or disorganized . . etc etc etc.    And yes, the sadness and depression I think are part of the course for dealing with the diagnosis.  I can often get ‘stuck’ in all the negative impacts this undiagnosed disorder had (and still has) on my life.  I’m now in my 50’s and there has been but 1 job in my entire life (and there have been sooooo many jobs) that I didn’t have to leave before getting the boot!.  Depressing is an understatement if I dwell on it!  But I have to remind myself that I cannot/could not “fix” what I couldn’t see/understand.  While it looks like I have “screwed up everything” . .   I have actually been very successful . . despite my disability.  As have you!  You have a husband and children to support you.  Get them involved.  They may be your biggest assets in helping you manage this disability.  And never forget that this is a Disability!!!  I have to lean on that . .  to keep my sanity.  There is only so much I can do to re-wire my brain . .   but I will still miss deadlines, forget things every day etc etc etc.  If we could “fix” it – it wouldn’t be a ‘disability’.  That’s the point . . .  the best you can do is MANAGE it . . there is no Fix – no meds to permanently rewire your brain.  Only meds to help you Manage  your disability.  It’s all about management . .   and maybe that is the ‘fix’ – learning to manage.

And find a new Psychiatrist!!  You deserve someone who will work With you!

Good luck . .   and write, write, write . . if it helps you manage . .  we’re here to read . .   and reply when we can

l8lylost

 

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[L8ly Lost]

This is brilliant!!  Sign me up!!

I totally agree with you about those silly games.  I subscribed to Lumosity for 2 years and spent hours upon hours playing word bubbles and train of thought – completely addictive for me.  STOP!!  GO DO SOMETHING!!  sooo annoying – the time I spent there.

I absolutely love your ‘training’ exercises.  I will definitely give them a go.

Thanks for this awesome post

 

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[L8ly Lost]

Unfortunately – despite your best efforts  .  . . you cannot change others.  Nor can you influence them if they don’t see you as a person of authority.  It seems that your prof understands your situation . .  gotta learn to let it go, and take responsibility for Your stuff – ONLY.  You’re probably not ‘bossy’ – you just want the ‘team’ to be as dedicated and responsible to the task as you, as it affects your outcome.  But they’re not.   . . . . .    As for ‘focused’ and ‘scattered’ .. . it comes with the territory.  Way back when – long before I was diagnosed with ADD, I did not have much of a reputation in college as a good (?) student .  . too scattered and unfocused . .   but my Junior year, with the first ‘true’ technical paper due, I (unintentionally) waited until the last week or so, then cranked out my paper.  My prof wrote:  “Outstanding!  You truly are an underachiever” . . . .   To this day (25+ years later), I ‘need’ that crisis focus to do my best work.  I don’t like it.  I wish I could change it.  But here I am.  You have the benefit of knowing your disability at a young age – with great resources like this website to find and build the tools to help you succeed.  I was not diagnosed until I was 41.   . . .  I suspect you will learn the techniques that help you manage this ‘condition’.  Small, but consistent, steps . .   and don’t be too hard on yourself for wanting to succeed, particularly when steps are out of your hands.

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[L8ly Lost]

wow!  Thanks so  much for all your help!!  I will look into local coaches (thanks Larynxa); and yes – self- care is important (thanks David – I’ve also posted notes late . . . thanks for staying up!).   And to Kc5ck:  I will look for the UC Mind Institute – and I already have Amen Clinics bookmarked for future consideration – need to call them  – hadn’t thought about asking them for a recommendation.  I need to find an “in-house” provider under my insurance (just considered) so i get “credit” toward my deductible.  Hopefully this won’t limit my options too much.

 

I have been under great stress of late – which is kinda funny when I’m not doing anything all day! – that’s actually a big stress factor.

 

appreciate your time – will keep you posted

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