[lou2]

Thanks Black Dog.  I am working on it.

I did eventually marry rather late in life and have a wonderful son as a result.  Lucky me.

Best wishes to you.

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[lou2]

My suggestion is to find a way not to blame yourself and learn to understand your ADD.  I once wanted to marry someone, but it didn’t work out, and because I couldn’t forgive myself, I pined for 7 or 8 years, not allowing myself to be open to another relationship.  This was in my 30’s.  Not a good time in life.

Since discovering I have ADD, and my emotional roller coaster, I realize my high anxiety level couldn’t let me be open and honest in the relationship, and my fixation on the relationship couldn’t let me move on when the fellow did.

Looking back, this was a sad wasteful period of my life.

 

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[lou2]

So I am old enough to be a grandmother type, and in 2001 my employer paid to have me undertake an Ex MBA, which I successfully completed, although I have no idea how, and I don’t remember much of what I studied.

I was diagnosed in 2012 with ADD and since that time I have been on medication which has helped some, and spent 5 months with a ADD coach.  I have also attended two ADD conferences.

What I have found that helps me the most:  I have spent the past year (while on sick leave) getting fit, training daily, and completing 2 sprint trialthons this summer.  The first ADD coach I had, had developed a program that if I followed would contribute to skills to manage time, learning to focus and develop habits or rituals that help me manage day to day.  I consider myself in crisis at the moment, and I know I have managed all these things in past when I wasn’t in crisis so I found it wasn’t a great fit for me.  The most important part for me was personal relationships. If these didn’t work, I lost interest in everything.

I have since found an excellent coach who explains the neurobiological reasons for difficulties I currently have.  It has made all the difference in the world.  I understood my impulsivity with shopping etc, and being aware helped me curb it, but not with relationships.  Now I have a method to help me with relationships.  The most important issue for me and the most valuable tool for me so far.  So I reiterate what others say the coach and coaches styles are your most valuable tool, along with the right medication. That and exercise.  Read Dr. John Ratey’s book ‘Spark’ on how exercise affects brain function.

Better late than never.  Hope this contribution helps someone.

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[lou2]

I really like this forum/group.  While it is nice to be supportive and upbeat, I also think it is useful to tell the difficult and hurtful parts of our story.  I did want to respond to individual postings but wasn’t sure how to do that.  Suffice to say… I hear all of you who have been given insensitive and wrong advice from those we sought help from.

We are the vulnerable ones, yet we have to be so strong to fight for our best interests.  It can be exhausting.  Koodos to you all for finding your path, or working so diligently towards it.

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