[somethingaboutmary]

I’m really glad to have come across your post as this is one more thing that resonates with me. (No pun intended hehe) I’ve imagined myself doing that market research survey and I definitely would have been cursing up a storm. I’m glad they apologized and yes, I hope they do take it into consideration for future projects.

In my experience, initially I thought that my misophonia were merely pet peeves of mine. I was very reluctant to share what I was feeling inside for the fear of appearing to be making excuses for being socially intolerant or straight up rude. It’s hard to explain this to certain individuals and for the most part I just wouldn’t bother unless I was with family or close friends.

For me it is mostly loud chewing, repetitive high-pitched beeps, and majority of loud, unfamiliar, repetitive noises. These seem fairly reasonable for the average person… right? So I never really thought twice about it. Though it became harder to ignore how overwhelmed I’d become with anger or how deeply offended I’d be; often I’d respond by avoiding exposure to such sounds or avoid expressing my true feelings/thoughts. The latter would primarily be the case as that is something I learned to master from a young age due to trauma alongside my social anxiety. The biggest concern for me is not being able to ignore certain sounds during times that require sheer focus and how easily/often my focus breaks.

I really like the point you made re: someone’s misophonia being someone else’s ASMR. This also makes me think about the possibilities of cases in which I’ve been conditioned, i.e. how I’ve been exposed to particular auditory stimuli often enough within similar circumstances, whether it be through positive or negative experiences. Perhaps this line of thought is what prevented me from relating this phenomenon to my ADD and thus, addressing it in the first place.

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[somethingaboutmary]

Lewtheadhdkid,

You’re definitely not alone in this. I feel that my (undiagnosed) ADHD has caused similar distress. I tend to be overly harsh and critical of myself when I know I’m procrastinating or forgetful. Right now, I’m supposed to be finishing and submitting a final paper but here I am on this forum…

I think it is important to learn to be compassionate towards yourself. In other words, you should try to forgive yourself for making mistakes. I think it is harmful when we focus on our shortcomings and ‘failures’ but the fact that you care and are trying hard says more about yourself than your mistakes do.

I understand the frustration may actually come from the external pressures to perform like “normal” people – as ALL people feel this pressure. I’m definitely not an expert but our frustration is expected… since we all feel the need to meet the standards imposed by society. Regardless of where we come from, what gender we are, etc., not meeting these standards may result in judgment from others – like our parents, peers, other family members, strangers… Just remember that nobody is perfect and we are all trying to fit into a role that we believe we should. Not to say that we all have the same experience, but our unique circumstances create the unique people we are and will become…

It’s inspiring to see that you care a great deal about tackling your ADHD. Have you explored other treatments alternative to medication? Recently, I’ve been trying meditation. I’ve also heard that physical activity really helps… which is definitely something I need more of.

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[somethingaboutmary]

Hi Reni,

It is expected that people will judge what they simply don’t understand.

The thing is I’m not even diagnosed but as I’ve tried to talk about it with certain family members I get dismissive feedback. I’ll be told that ADHD isn’t real or that I’m just making excuses – so to some extent I understand where you’re coming from. It is common for a lot of people to undermine ADHD and consider it a fake disability. However people with ADHD (diagnosed or not) may face real difficulties that limit them in various ways. These disadvantages and limitations are not perceived when they have real life consequences. You should also take the time to acknowledge the potential strengths that have come with it… perhaps, that will take some time to develop or for you to recognize. And in doing so, maybe you’ll eventually learn to embrace the good qualities.

Just remember that you seeking treatment is your way of mitigating the difficulties of ADHD. You have taken the step to ensure that it doesn’t hinder your ability to function at a socially accepted rate. In other words, you’ve done the right thing and you should not feel ashamed. Also, stigma comes from those who just haven’t taken the time to understand the nature of your situation. These people who are saying awful things about you are clearly not worth your attention!

My suggestion is to be selective with who you share with, i.e. those who you trust, are comfortable with and know enough to not pass judgment. Although I applaud you for being very open about it because you sure have no reason to feel bad about it. I think you’re fine in telling whoever you feel like telling as long as you remember that there will always be people who won’t understand and will be judgmental. The key is to disregard these people and keep in mind that you are not alone!

Take care,
Mary

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