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I’m sorry you went through this, too. Right now, I’m trying to put myself first (or at least in the top 3). I’ve been below everyone and everything for too long. I love him so very much, but I told him I can’t be hurt again. I am putting this ball in his corner. He knows how I feel and how much I hurt. I’m hoping this relationship lasts because he’s my best friend and lover and I can’t imagine my life without himor his family. We had so many good times and that’s what I want to focus on. That and the future. I’m just going to take it all one day at a time.
REPORT ABUSEI have felt much better since I forgave him. And I’m trying to fully trust him because I forgave him. He knows how much it all hurt me and apologized for it. I’m looking at this year as a bit of a fresh start. I’m making steps to better myself and he’s getting back to therapy so hopefully we can grow together. I think that I wouldn’t have been as forgiving if I didn’t know or have ADD or this history. My best friend said we need to stop using ADD as an excuse and that really hurt.
REPORT ABUSERobert: I have a feeling he says things are good. Which they are better, but he hasn’t had any increases. I was on Strattera first and it helped, but I needed more. My psychiatrist switched me to Concerta about 6 months ago and I like it so much more. I still have a bad moment or day, but nothing as bad as it used to be. He has an appt. for meds next week. I’m going to talk to him tonight about it, just give my two cents, and see what happens. I want him to feel better. I think that’s a plus (and minus) of having it myself. I know how he’s feeling and remember what it was like when I ws first diagnosed and started meds. I kind of think he had a bit of a melt-down or something. I don’t know. He said he was taking his meds so…
REPORT ABUSEThanks for the replies.
I read through Eagerhelper’s post. I know sex addiction can be a part of this. I went through it through my early 20’s as did my boyfriend. The only thing that really put the brakes on for me was that I gained weight and didn’t feel very confident anymore. It’s still an issue now. I was already quite overweight when I started to take care of my mum last year (she had a form of Parkinson’s) and I ballooned another 25-30 lbs. over the time I was watching her. I also have back issues (bulging discs, one putting pressure on my sciatic nerve). Between those issues, sex is sometimes the last thing on my mind because I don’t feel sexy.
I guess I have a bit of a male mind because I also like talking, pictures, videos, but I also have times where I want candles and stuff. I have my own little collection of magazines and videos. I can understand how one can get addicted to it. I haven’t gotten that bad. My addictions are pleasure-related, though: shopping (retail therapy!), food (when you’re happy, when you’re sad, because nothing is on TV, …), drinking (I never get trashed, through I can drink a lot), smoking occasionally (I know it’s bad and all that but it honestly helps me think…or at least it seems to… this isn’t about me!). I find that I can control one and the others can go haywire. I stopped drinking for a time and that’s when I started smoking. Transference. Isn’t it a lovely thing?
Since I forgave him of all of it, I feel lighter and I feel more into him. I don’t know how it makes sense but that’s how it’s been the past few days. I guess I’m ready to make a new start of it. We have nearly 5 years behind us. You can’t forget that in a couple of days.
REPORT ABUSEI’m going through something in the same vein as you. (http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2183)
My boyfriend is also on Strattera and I noticed a change in him quite quickly. But it’s been a few months now and things are slowly falling back down. He’s miserable at his job and that’s not helping our situation any. I’m hoping maybe a change in dosage might do the trick. He’s still on the lowest dose.
It’s awesome that you’re learning about ADD/ADHD. I have it, too, so I get to live in the same wacky world as he does. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…haha. I suppose time will tell.
I’ll have to keep an eye on this topic and see how things are for you guys. I’m hoping with perhaps a change in dose and some more therapy he can work through whatever is going on.
Gook luck to you guys!
REPORT ABUSEMy boyfriend and I are both ADD/ADHD and I honestly think that’s why we’ve been together for 5 years! We completely get what the other one is going through and can handle each other’s weirdness and quirks. It is hard sometimes to communicate with “normal” people, but I find “normal” people boring so I usually don’t find myself around them too often…haha I was out with my boyfriend’s aunt the other night and we were talking about our mental issues and realized that we seem to be drawn to others that have things similar to ourselves. It’s quite interesting to me, though, that my boyfriend’s mother’s side understands and accepts their mental issues and those in others but his father’s side doesn’t even though his grandpa and dad are ADD and his cousin has Autism and ADHD. I guess some people just don’t want to accept what’s going on in their lives.
REPORT ABUSEImpulse buying was and is an issue for me, but I’ve gotten much better at it. It did help to now have a job for a bit…haha But I try to really think before I get something now. There are times I’ll be in a store and look at what’s in my cart or basket and say, “Now, do I REALLY need that?” and most of the time there’s something in there that I can put back and do.
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