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Procrastina-Tron

Procrastina-Tron2012-11-13T13:00:41+00:00

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  • in reply to: ADHD and Intimacy #125744

    Procrastina-Tron
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    Post count: 12

    And humor – humor is absolutely everything.

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    in reply to: ADHD and Intimacy #125743

    Procrastina-Tron
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    Thank you both for your insight and your personal experience, I watched the ADHD webinar on relationships and it did help a lot. It goes a long way to know that you’re not alone and it’s still very hard for me to acknowledge that some of my behavior may stem from ADHD… it’s still arbitrary, it’s still an acronym – I still don’t feel like it’s a part of me, like a flu, or even depression. I have much to learn.

    I think talking about it here and not simply laying blame on my wife and expressing my frustration with ‘her’ instead of ‘our problem’ was an important step up from my younger, more naive self.

    I was able to speak to my wife and while being mindful of my shortcomings (negative self talk, perception) I was able to realize that she feels that I do not wish to be intimate – which as discussed above couldn’t be further from the truth.

    I always knew she ‘felt’ this way, she has said it before. My pre-ADHD diagnosis self would say “that’s not true, I really love you and want to be intimate with you” and simply stare off into space waiting for everything to get better, caught in an infinite loop of “maybe she just hates me, what’s wrong with me”, I embraced her perspective, we talked about it calmly.

    I think one of my primary ADHD habits is that I make everything about me – even though I do not consider myself selfish; when my wife tells me this, I go nuts, I feel as if I’m listening to the problems, but really I take her concerns and assume it’s MY fault, like she’s mad at ME for MY actions… and that is where my attention gets locked.

    Anyways I don’t believe in miracle cures, and there is certainly a lot of work to be done, but for now it is much, much easier to remember the ‘date’.

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    in reply to: A means to the end? #125730

    Procrastina-Tron
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    His moral structure and attitude towards women (I.E. yourself) may transcend any ADHD, OCD or other acronym rich medical diagnosis.

    Even if he’s on the perfectly balanced medication; the top notch therapy, he may still exhibit what seems to be sociopath behavior, and/or an incredibly poor upbringing.

    I don’t know you and I don’t know him, but he sounds like a ‘RED FLAG’ manufacturing & distribution centre to me.

    If you can forgive lying and cheating and bursts of unpredictable anger to yourself (ultimately complete and utter disrespect), then maybe there is hope.

    Self preservation is your #1 priority.

     

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    in reply to: Mashups causing brain meltdowns #125663

    Procrastina-Tron
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    I don’t think it’s necessarily an ADHD issue, although perhaps it is more unnerving for someone with ADHD. People put a lot of time, energy and thought into writing a (good) piece of music. If you really think about it, you’ll be hard pressed to find a mash up that is better than the original pieces individually.

    In a perfect world, it would be just a matter of saying “huh, those fit together really well, don’t these songs sound like they fit together well?!” and that would be the end of it. But people like to share mash-ups like they’ve found some bizarre phenomenon.

    In reality, the added content stomps all over the subtle nuances of each individual piece and its grating. There’s a lot of psychoacoustic issues, more than just matching pitch and tempo – what environment each song was recorded in for instance could mean that you’re mixing two sets of harmonic content that end up sounding dissonant to one another.

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    in reply to: Concerta is fantastic! #125647

    Procrastina-Tron
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    EDIT: I meant to post this in the Concerta Review post, I don’t mean to diminish your positive experience!!!

    I’ve been on Concerta for a month as of tomorrow. I was on 18mg for the first week, 36mg for the following two weeks and my doctor has prescribed me 54mg for this past week. I’ve noticed no positive changes whatsoever. My appetite has gone down, but more importantly my diet has suffered (my wife is vegan, so my diet lacks in some departments, when I do eat lately it ends up not being very nutritious).

    Nothing in my head has perked up and I’m a little concerned – have I been misdiagnosed, do I need a higher dosage? I am suffering from depression (or at least feeling completely miserable 24/7, however you want to quantify it) I start a dosage of 150mg of Wellbutrin tomorrow, they seem to think that if I do suffer from ADHD, the focus enhancing effect of Concerta may indeed be effective, but I am simply focusing on my habitual routine as I suffer through depression – the things I love to do I don’t do, the things I need to do I don’t do… and unfortunately the flame under my butt (Concerta) may only have me focusing intently on absolutely nothing at all J My understanding is that the Concerta is the boat engine, and the anti-depressant may act (temporarily until I can take over) as the steering wheel.

    Metaphors make depressing things seem more interesting. 😛

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    in reply to: Over/underwhelmed introduction #125619

    Procrastina-Tron
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    Thanks for the insight!

    I had an appointment this morning, they’ve increased the Cocerta dosage to 54mg per day in hopes that it will have more impact as well as “Mylan-Bupropion XL” (A “light” anti-depressant) 150mg to begin next week – supposedly before any therapy starts, they want me in a better head space, more focused, etc.

    I’m a bit discouraged that I supposedly need pills to feel better, I’d like to just work on myself in therapy, form new habits, etc… but I’m told I need these medications so that I can achieve a state where I am actually capable of working on myself and forming new habits in the first place.  🙂

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    in reply to: Over/underwhelmed introduction #125602

    Procrastina-Tron
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    Post count: 12

    APOLOGIES – I’ve accidentally posted the same message twice and can’t seem to delete the original.

    I saw the spam before it was deleted, so your comment was not taken as insensitive. 🙂

    My doctor had put me on “Cymbalta” to try for depression. Unfortunately I was placed on 60mg from the get-go which is supposedly a fairly high dose for someone who hasn’t been formally diagnosed with depression. That turned out very badly, after several therapy sessions and a visit to a psychiatrist… I am off anti-depressants (I quit Cymbalta cold turkey, not advisable, but it was necessary) but on Concerta.

    Like you said the internet is generally very one sided – either it’s the most amazing thing in the entire universe or it’s complete garbage. I suppose in my muddled and confused mind, I am always questing for “Aha!” moments of clarity, so far the medication hasn’t given me any noticeable effects.

    The first two days I felt elated while driving. I felt as I was hyper aware of my surroundings, where in fact I was just trying to memorize license plates for no apparent reason. Since then it’s been the same old. Not applying myself at work, etc. I get the slight inkling that I have an enhanced focus when I am really interested in something, but trying to recover from depression, frankly nothing is interesting, not even the leisurely pursuits.

    I have my next appointment tomorrow and am hopeful for some new steps; I think therapy and adjusting my attitudes and habits may work well.

    Would you believe I used to write meditation music? 😛

    Thanks again,

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    in reply to: Over/underwhelmed introduction #125601

    Procrastina-Tron
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    Post count: 12

    My doctor had put me on “Cymbalta” to try for depression. Unfortunately I was placed on 60mg from the get-go which is supposedly a fairly high dose for someone who hasn’t been formally diagnosed with depression. That turned out very badly, after several therapy sessions and a visit to a psychiatrist… I am off anti-depressants (I quit Cymbalta cold turkey, not advisable, but it was necessary) but on Concerta.

    Like you said the internet is generally very one sided – either it’s the most amazing thing in the entire universe or it’s complete garbage. I suppose in my muddled and confused mind, I am always questing for “Aha!” moments of clarity, so far the medication hasn’t given me any noticeable effects.

    The first two days I felt elated while driving. I felt as I was hyper aware of my surroundings, where in fact I was just trying to memorize license plates for no apparent reason. Since then it’s been the same old. Not applying myself at work, etc. I get the slight inkling that I have an enhanced focus when I am really interested in something, but trying to recover from depression, frankly nothing is interesting, not even the leisurely pursuits.

    I have my next appointment tomorrow and am hopeful for some new steps; I think therapy and adjusting my attitudes and habits may work well.

    Would you believe I used to write meditation music? 😛

    Thanks again,

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    in reply to: Over/underwhelmed introduction #125598

    Procrastina-Tron
    Member
    Post count: 12

    Amidst the stages of uncertainty I am currently going through, I know I have a tendency to trail on and am often hard to follow. That being said, I was struggling to see where my message indicated I needed phone jamming. 🙂

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