ADHD & Coaching: External Structures, visuals, tips [Part 6 of 6]

When you’re not reliable internally or when your brain just isn’t reliable for you, what can you set up externally, that will support you so that you don’t have

so many oopses? Whether it’s in time management or stuff management, or money management what can you what structures and systems can you set up to help you? You’ve got something you need to remember we’ll begin by let’s go take it and put it with your car keys and stuff because that system works. If there are a visual prompt type person we then know how their brain remembers stuff and we begin to think of systems that are based off of how their brain works. Clients come thinking they know their answer thinking they know what they need and again I don’t want to ignore that or deny it but often they’re not realizing how much more they can get out of the coaching, because I want to look at them today. I want to see where they come from but I also want to see where are they trying to go what can I help them have now and understand about this situation that they can apply in a lot more situations going forward.

So I have a broader view for them even though I’m right there with them. So in ADHD part of the coaching process is customized education we have models that we use in a very simple one is machine mind and mission. You have this unique machine with trillions of processing options with beliefs that impact that machine and if the machine and mind are not in harmony you can’t get to your mission in life. And that’s exactly the way I see all my clients. This amazing person that has all these traits and qualities and gifts but oftentimes they’re struggling in certain areas and if we can help them get through those struggle areas they can just enjoy an amazing life. That would be a dream but it’s a lot to think about you know I feel overwhelmed. You got to simplify everything you got to make it you know if you’re gonna clean like… I commonly coach people and say listen let’s get rid of the chest of drawers to keep the room clean let’s go to baskets. One for socks and underwear one for shirts one for shorts and pants and one for dirty clothes and the reason is is it’s incredibly boring to grab something fold it open the drawer stick it right wrestle it to get it in and then shut it. That’s what fifteen seconds of absolute boredom and what are you kind of crazy yet if you’ve got something you got a basket you can toss it, even it doesn’t make it you’re kind of close and you’re done. So life is about simplicity and it people have these beliefs it’s got to be this way but literally to me organization really what it means, it needs a home.

That’s you strip it all down it needs a home that’s to me is the definition of organization.

I love the idea of strategies but I got books full of them how do I remember to use them? In training we use visuals and for a lot of my clients if they’re visual I use mind maps with circles and we’ll put pictures and if they’re visual I use a lot of metaphors. So I have a kid that wants to remember not to go down a bad path he uses a visual of a domino because if he knows if he takes a first bad action all the dominoes fall down or a kid that’s a rubber band I’m at the head of the rubber band or the beginning. Where are you at the front or the back of the rubberband? Oh you want to move to the front you got to remind yourself what do you have to do if you let go you’ll move forward if you stay holding on to it you won’t move forward. So we use all these metaphors machine mind and mission. Everything that we use is a lot of visual because visual works for the brain for everybody, but putting the two together really works. There was one girl who brought in a collage of photographs of all these unique rock formations in Monument Valley where the rocks look like they’re gonna tip over but they’re there and her explanation was my coach helped me find balance and whenever I see these types of rock formations I think of the fact that my coach helped me balance my social life with my academic life as well as the life skills that I needed.

What if I can’t see you can’t you give me some tips or suggestions? A lot of the help things do come up partially because of ADHD if they don’t understand they need to exercise if they don’t understand they need protein in the morning those are going to come up in the conversation about their brain and what supports it. Others we wait until it does come up for them I may see a need for it I might plant a seed but I can’t again I can’t coach them on something they don’t want coached on. I can salt the water a little bit sometimes they’ve got to come to it ultimately. We want to help them look and see all the patterns and information in that list of things they’ve done that we can build upon and say you want to keep doing these things here. You did several of these and but you stopped why? You know is there something in that you still want to continue. Yeah well for me my pattern is overwhelm, I’m overwhelmed with stuff and with stuff to do so the one thing we haven’t talked about is how much you charge how much is this gonna cost me? But then you know as I’m listening I’m thinking well I know how much it’s costing me not to have a coach.

Actually I don’t even know how much it’s costing me if I do I could do something about it right. yeah. and yet part of me thinks I’m a smart guy I should be able to figure this out on my own. Why would they want to go through 20 years of living with the condition when they can hire someone who can teach him

all that in three or four months? This makes sense to me to do that. me too okay I’m gonna give this a try you know too many people have told me coaching is the best thing for ADHD. The only question is who do I pick I mean you’re all so good oh I know instead of good coaching can I get a whole group of coaches huh?