99% sure I'm ADHD & now I have to circumnavigate getting diagnosed?? Cruel joke!

I did pretty well in every subject except PE!! I had to work VERY HARD to get a C in that!!! It really wrecked my grade average; now, I don’t think they give grades in PE, except pass and fail. I always tried NOT to forget my gym clothes, keep them clean, etc because I KNEW on the basis of achievement, I’d fail for sure!!

@Stash – It’s now three hours till my appointment, and you must be in the middle of yours. Hope it’s going okay. I am certainly nervous about mine, but at least I have plenty of stuff to do to take my mind off it all (like lots of washing because I have been away for three days and nobody has washed anything while I was away!!).

Stash – I updated on your other thread (sorry to hijack it). I am not sure how I feel now I have had more time to think about my appointment. I had not bargained for being able to “choose” my diagnosis, though I guess that’s sort of what we try to do when we seek a second opinion.

I just found a clothes peg on my bedside table, so I think I got distracted away from my laundry lol!! Have only just now put on a second load!

Hmmm, I suppose so. It didn’t sound as if I was getting to choose what to focus on though. It sort of sounded as if there are differing views in the psych community about ADHD and anxiety, and I need to choose where to place my allegiance. Though I must admit that he did say that I was not signing a mortgage, so was not commiting myself to anything and could change my mind about treatment at any time.

I do know that his view on things comes from a psychoanalytical background, so he was pretty anti medication, even though he presented it as an option. He wants me to be “medication free” (from a psych medication perspective, not all medications) if at all possible while seeing him for treatment, as their mood altering properties can make therapy more difficult. But even so, I am tempted to at least get the ball rolling on the ADHD referral and testing, as I am not entirely convinced that all my issues stem from anxiety, and I know that it could well be a long wait for things to happen in the arena of appointments, testing, and test results.

The other thing I believe is that I am probably best off if I do not seek a second opinion entirely on my own – I could well end up with another doc who believes in psychoanalysis. I think if I do see another doc, then it will be one of the ones that my current doc was talking about when he offered to refer me on for further assessment/treatment, as I know that they will be close to what I am looking for, though hopefully more objective than he made them sound – he said that the ADHD doc would almost definitely diagnose me with ADHD and offer me medication, as “he believes in that sort of thing and that is what he does”. I don’t want somebody who would diagnose ADHD just because he believes in it, though my doc’s comment could also be taken as saying I meet all the criteria for ADHD, if you look at things from the right sort of perspective.

I really am stuck here. I had hoped that I could have BOTH issues (anxiety and ADHD) assessed by the one doc, and treated as appropriate. My doc certainly seems to have some good insights, but I also think his viewpoint is skewed somewhat – though every doc is going to be the same, with a tendency to prefer medications, or certain types of assessment over others, or towards CBT.

I think what really sticks with me is something that occurred with my son. A teacher once said that we had nothing to worry about with his learning, as he wasn’t even a year behind his peers in his areas of deficit BUT when he was tested for ADHD, we were told that it was the discrepancies in his own abilities that told the biggest story, not the comparison of each area to his peers – if he was compared to an average kid his age (as his teacher did), his deficits would be unremarkable, but when compared to the rest of his testing, his deficits stood out because there was a three year difference between his strengths and his deficits, which is big. I feel like I would benefit from the same sort of testing my son had, to see if it matches an ADHD profile, as I am sure that the results of such testing would be more beneficial at determining if ADHD is likely than only serial 7s and an interview (though an interview is also needed, for sure).

Aaaarrrrrghhh!!! My mind is all in a mess and I don’t know what I want to do anymore. I have had such stumbling blocks along the way that I am wondering if this was not meant to be. Talk about frustrating!! And the more I think about it, the worse it gets 😯

Lol!! I am good at pretend – I pretend I am less disorganised than I really am, and that my current state is just a sign of having too much on my plate and will end when things settle down

I think that the doc was very reasonable, but funnily enough, that makes things worse. I feel like I should give him a go, just because he has been fair in his treatment of me.

Haha, I passed art, but failed the art theory part pretty badly. I just could not keep track of the various styles/eras, though I could debate about them well in class when given two examples. It really confused my teacher, who saw good ability on one hand, but dismal failure on the other. I also failed library studies! I shocked the hell out of myself by passing uni level chemistry (where I always felt like I was behind) but failing genetics, which I quite enjoyed. Uni all boiled down to the exams and how I was on the day.

I suppose I am finding it hard to come to grips with “childhood issues” being the root cause of all my tensions/struggles/anxieties. I agree that I had friction with my mum when I was growing up, but I get along well with her now, and I find it hard to believe that the friction caused such dysfunction as I got older, especially as my anxieties feel like they have improved since I was a teen. The lack of a diagnosis sort of gets to me too. Psychoanalysts seem to not put labels on anything. Instead they look at a person and their issues and use “talk” to get to the root of things in order to bring about insight and change, without labelling anything. I think I would feel better if I could find more about the success of the analysis process. But I can’t seem to get much info on it. I do know that it is a form of therapy used in France to treat ADHD, rather than using stimulants, as they have a different view of ADHD there.

Oh well, I really must get to bed. I have limited time to sleep, and I am wasting it on the computer!!

Well, I visited my family dr last week and he referred me to a local psychologist for diagnosis. However, when I tried to make an appointment there, I was told they don’t diagnose ADD! So, I started looking via internet) at providers in the closest city to us, but some didn’t even have any schooling!! So, I went to the CHADD website and looked for progams at universities in our state. I now have an appointment there on Nov 8. It will cost me $500 and it’s unlikely that my insurance will help much with that. But, at least I am working my way to a diagnosis.

It’s so unfair that “pysychological” disorders are not fairly covered by medical insurance–isn’t the brain a body organ, after all?!?! We work a lot with the homeless and many of them have untreated disorders that make it difficult for them to funciton in society. A lot of them find society so difficult to deal with that they’d really rather stay in a tent by the river (this in a very rainy climate, too) than go to a shelter where they’re packed in a room like sardines–who can blame them for making that choice!? It makes total sense, in context.

I am waiting for a packet to come from the U of W. I don’t have much in the way of early childhood materials to work from–just my memory, mainly, and my mom’s–she’s 95, but has a sound mind and will help if she can. I DO have one junior choir picture where EVERY SINGLE KID IN THE PICTURE, EXCEPT ME, OF COURSE, is looking right at the camera. I’m looking at the boy next to me who muttered something funny just as the photog clicked the button. My parents had something to say about that, you can be sure!!!

One time, in first grade, the music teacher said all the kids needed to look right at her–so of course, I wanted to see if everyone was. Then I tattled that the girl next to me wasn’t watching the teacher. When the teacher replied that I must not have been either, I answered that I had one eye on her and one on the girl next to me, and then I wondered why the classroom teacher and the music teacher began to laugh.