Frustated with having ADD

[allan wallace]

I’ve got that book and author scribbled down for a bit of a look later. Thanks for the tip freakchik. Your comments are interesting re the source of much of the fighting. It’s as if we’re on a completely different frequency: she’s on the FM band, and I’m on the AM band, and most of the time we simply fail to comprehend one another…she can often become enraged with me, and perhaps justifiably so, but her perceived grievances are only exacerbated when I become ‘aloof’, and elect to disengage by going online for some scrabble, just to defuse the likelihood of further futile bickering. I enjoy a robust debate as much as anybody, but have never grasped how candour mutates into rancour on her part so quickly. On the rare occasion when we communicate without me having to look for a bunker to dive into, if I’m asked what I think about something, and proffer said thoughts, I’m often left bewildered if she gets the look of jihadi suicide bomber in her eyes I’ll just make a strategic retreat before I become a homicide statistic! I appreciate clarity in the message, even if it ‘stings’, but I don’t dwell on it. Next! Her, however, will have the latest list of my verbal infractions nailed to her eyelids as a ‘red rag’ to charge the feckless, tactless, useless scarecrow yet again. Yeah, the scarecrow that in her mind is The Grand Emperor of Crows, often times indiscernible from the seething mass of black feathers, and caw caw cawing…. 😆

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[Anonymous]

Yes sir wallace, you and I do inhabit an entirely different plane of existence, much removed from that of our beleaguered spouses! But do not fret fair scarecrow, you are not alone in your incessant cawing, or shelter seeking. I too have seen that jihad in my husband, and have been bewildered as to what put that look there. Fear not any longer, for there is hope!

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[allan wallace]

*blushes* A Knighthood? Me? It could only be for outstanding service to Procrastination, self-destruction, and under-achievement! 😆

Thank-you kindly, your post gave me a giggle, and prompted me to log back in just as I was on my way to the shops! My wife is already muttering about my being parked in front of the ‘puter again! The only things that terrify me are spiders, and all manners of creepy crawly things! *shudder* I’d sooner roll up my sleeves and step into a seedy alley to rumble with a dozen angry and drunken bikies than have a vile wretched creepy crawly insect makes it’s stomach turning march along my flesh *blanches*….um, where was I, ah yes, the plight of the scarecrow that has come to symbolise utter uselessness for that said scarecrow is the Official Embassy for Crows the world over… 😆

Meh, I need to get beyond my ‘not giving a fuck’ about what people think, and begin to despatch the accursed crows one by one! 😆 Which leads directly to the first only too familiar impasse: ‘Gawd, where do I start’ ,,,,,,

I’d best get moving or I’ll be wearing an unwashed dinner plate from last night that somehow escaped yesterday’s ‘To-Do’ list…. 😆

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[Anonymous]

Oh dear, I do not wish to be responsible for others gadding about wearing decaying leftovers and smashed dinnerware! (again! ) but that’s a story for another time. When your wife gets a chance have her read this clipping, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/edward-m-hallowell-md/what-adhd-feels-like_b_1627463.html ,it is by one of the authors of the book recommended earlier, and helped hubby get his first baby insights to my head…. if you think creepy crawlys are scary, it’s only because we’ve just met! By the way isn’t your entire continent mainly populated by icky poisonous creepy crawlys?! Maybe a relocation is in order?!

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[allan wallace]

Hmm, well I’m still a candidate for wearing carbonara as the stack’s still where it was post -dinner, and the first thing that I did upon returning from the shops was ‘plug into my life-support’ machine, this ‘puter! She’s wearing her customary scowl, and as I’m not on her frequency those hissing noises in the background are not registering! 😆 Insights into my head, eh? She’d probably find having a tooth extracted without anaesthetic more appealing! Freaky people don’t alarm me in the slightest, in fact, I have an affinity with them, but bugs and spiders are the source of my deepest horrors…I shan’t bore you with many anecdotal accounts, just one in fact, too many to list, but on one memorable occasion a demon in a giant spider suit was espied from the corner of my eye making it’s way around the top of the bucket seat next to me! Christ, the bloody thing was so big it should have had the seatbelt on! A blood-curdling scream pierced the air as I swerved onto the wrong side of the road as I pressed myself agains the driver’s door , before I straightened the car and came to a screeching halt in the left-hand lane and made good my escape! The keys were left in the car, and as I staggered towards the shops a klm or so away I silently prayed that the bastard would just drive away in the piece of snot! I’d managed to semi-compose myself before calling my grandpa to pick me up at the car. Love nor money would have got me in that car whilst that monster was at large! I’d have chosen a protracted death by cricket bat to getting in that car….he wouldn’t permit me to leave the car there, so I drove his car back where my brave grandpa dished out some punitive justice to my fiendish attacker! Moving somewhere? Oh how I’d love to move! I’m no sooner in a new place before I’m itching to get the hell out of there tio somewhere new….why, you got a spare room going? 😆

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[Anonymous]

I must thank you heartily for providing such an amusing story to entertain us during our dinner hour! I shared it with my family, and my daughter is still smiling! She likens it to her father coming under direct fire from the zombie hybrid Pteryldactyl bats that we have infesting the attic of our house, though she says she’s positive that your scream was much less girly than her dads! And none of us blame you a single bit for wanting to leave the car and spider to their own devices. As for your wife, she may surprise you, hubby sure did. I’ve never been so positive that anyone wanted to understand or support me less, but he claims otherwise. And is finally able to start showing it to my demented self! As for the spare room, I already like you enough to welcome you with open arms, but as stated in previous posts I have a hubby who hoards. We hardly have room for our poor pooch! Perhaps the frightening undead dinosaur bats would shuffle over so you can bunk with their brood?

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[allan wallace]

*gasp* Like me? I’ll have to print that off and keep it as Exhibit A in preparation for my own defence in the ‘shall we just kill him and be done with it trial’? That’s rather nice! I’m not used to being liked…. 😳 One kind of gets used to being an object of fear and loathing 😆 Hmm, don’t tempt with the offer! Okaythen, tempt me! Erm, I’ll call ya reverse charges, and if you give me your credit card details I get the plane ticket, and once my millions in the long-term deposits in my Swiss bank mature I’ll re-imburse you…as for your hubby? Hmm, it would perhaps take him half an hour to start fantasising about my sudden death, so you’d have to begin the groundwork for me with some plausible bullshit, you know, like I’m a 10 th dan blackbelt that was a bodyguard for The Pope, but was dismissed for kicking a handful of priests that had been overly friendly towards altar boys to death in a Vatican unsolved mystery, and then did a short stint in Iraq, but was sent home because the Taliban and Al-Qaida guys would melt away at the very mention of my name, and they’d really prefer those camel jockeys to stay put and not go a roving….otherwise, if he’s mean and nasty you’d have to sign an affidavit in triplicate vouching for my safety. I’d have no shame in hiding behind a woman! Or, a little girl for that matter! See ya shortly… 😆

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[Misswho23]

Ok so I got lost in the conversation. Crows? Reminds me halloween is near and I need to get a black bird and see if I finally get motivated to do my halloween display in homage to Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven.” My favorite poem. Ok so it’s not a crow. Hmm do I have any black feathers in the basement?

Just the way my mind rolls.

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[allan wallace]

Oh, one more thing….I’m rather proud of my ability to scream like a girl. According to my 15 y.o. daughter I freeze as I scream and tuck my arms in like a kangaroo. I should also add that my distaste incorporates mice, rats, and nuns! *coughs* There’s a lingering issue that I must remember to take up with my shrink at my next appointment. Whenever I see a nun, I instantly become weirdly faint. A mixture of fear, horror, and erm, well, to put it delicately, shameful naughty thoughts. Especially if said nuns are bald,short, squat, oldish, and have that evil glint in their dead-fish eyes! I know, I know, it’s disturbing. Where the hell do thoughts like that come from? What sort of man entertains the sick notion of being some twisted haggish humpback nun’s plaything as her moods fluctuated? Constant admonition, perdition, correction, repentance….Oh God, it’d be a vicious cycle of incessant abuse for me! *whimpers* …

It’d be horrific, but secretly delicious….*runs away*…

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[allan wallace]

Ugh, that’ is rather disturbing to read. Um, pay to heed to that good people’s. I am 100% sane. I really am! Just silly fun nonsense talk….moving right along, whilst having a puffer I thought of other things which annoy the hell out of me. Those dorky cyclists that zoom around like rockets with all of the crass lycra cycling suits resplendent with the various Company names and logos everywhere….watch at the lights next time you pull up how the cyclist will remove his hands from the handles, cast a quick look around to see who might be watching him as he slowly reaches down for his water bottle. Watch discreetly! You’ll notice how his beady little verminous eyes are darting around behind his designer shades hoping to catch a reflection of himself from either the side of a vehicle, or even better, the window from a shop! Under no circumstances must you let on with a smirk, or a snigger that you’re watching! It’s hilarious… 😆

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[allan wallace]

Yes, I know that’s it getting to the point where it might be best that I give the keyboard a rest…<casts a furtive look through the curtains>…see? There aren’t any white vans pulling up….for the record, I have never been a patient in a mental health facility. Yet. My pet goldfish ‘humanoid’ sees and hears everything…he acts all harmless and innocent, but you just never know, eh? I’m convinced that he’s up to no good….I might have to flush him down the toilet for being such an arsehole of a goldfish! He has a heart of stone too! His buddy was floating upside down and all he was interested in was nibbling at the flakes on the floor of the bowl! I was devastated and had to have somebody else remove the poor sod, and not once did ‘humanoid’ display the slightest sign of grief! Not even a forlorn look from within his transparent prison! Yeah, the more that I think about, the more likely it will be that this potential informant will be going to ‘sleep wif da fishes’ 😆

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[allan wallace]

Rightio, that’s it. I’ll be barred from here at this rate! Cheerio and au revoir. I’m off to play some scrabble…..by the way, bear in mind that Carrie has my password and sometimes posts under my name to make me look even sillier than I really am! She has my password just in case I forget it!

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[Anonymous]

Oh boy, first and foremost, while you really are my brother from another mother, it’s incredibly smart on behalf of the creator that we are as physically far apart as two beings on the same planet can be! Apocalypse and Armageddon should be our given names, as I fear that should we ever get to meet in person those are the events that would begin! I too fear nuns with the worst kind of hypothermic tremors racking my body as I even type this blasphemy! I still bear scars across my knuckles, and can feel the welts cross my bottom as I reminisce of elementary school years and hours of hellish piano lessons. Those b*#ches were mean as hell! Though I have no fantasies involving habits, rulers and other naughtiness are definitely present and determined to be accounted for!

You tickle my funny bone, my Kevin, who I just painstakingly tucked firmly into bed, crept out to see why I’m laughing so hysterically, afraid I got into the wacky tobacky again I’m sure! Go away husband, I’m trying to find another person on this planet who has a snowballs chance of relating to me!

How exactly does it look when a kangaroo tucks its arms? We are woefully short on marsupials in the Northwoods of Wisconsin.

As for watching for surveillance, I took care of that by naming my computer “Surveillance Vehicle #6” so when it pops up on wireless access, they assume they’ve got me covered already. You gotta think ahead for these sort of situations! I say this because I have been a patient, and I can recommend way more interesting vacation destinations.

Wouldn’t it be easier to take the fish to the beach? It’ll take him longer to navigate his way back through sewage pipes to continue freaking you out if he can’t mark his way back on the fast flush down. I’ve dealt with his type before, they always hold a grudge and seek revenge. Plus better chances of getting grabbed by an eel or shark or what have you on the reef before he even finds the pipe entrance!

Well if Carrie wants to post under your name, she’ll have to deal with my silliness too! This is the one place I’ve found where I can just be me, and as an added bonus, none of you seem scared, off put, or disgusted yet, so I have to assume that I’m not alone in this. Plus no one at all has made me feel like I’m wrong, stupid, or not worth their time! I wish I could crawl into the website and hangout for awhile, wave at all the nice new friends I’ve made through the screen, maybe moon a few people, just to keep it interesting, you know.

Hello wife of Allan, it’s been quite a relief for me to meet your husband, and the other members of this site. Please gently remind your husband of the fact that I recommended a very good book to him, that will help the two of you in your relationship. He jotted the title down somewhere, but you can find it above. Please give it a chance, in my area it has saved a few marriages that I know of, and is in the process of saving my own. Hope all is well!

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[Misswho23]

Freakchik

“You gotta think ahead for these sort of situations! I say this because I have been a patient, and I can recommend way more interesting vacation destinations.”

Liked that sentence. I too once visited a “Rest Facility” and I bursted out my that accommodations did not look like they did in the brochure and I wanted a refund. Went over with marginal amusement from the staff. Less amusement when the guy came in on the stretcher and i said “Ok folks now we can have a parade!” He was fine.

Been wanting to share that one for years.

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[Anonymous]

Miss Who, Please see Morning motivations, and reply here if possible!

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[Author]

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