Funny "Diagnostic Indicators"

[MelissaTex]

Hey! I can never read just one book at a time, and I *don’t* have ADD!! My house, too, looks like a library with books stacked in every room.

Now, my ADD partner. . . he looks like he is in severe physical pain at just the thought of opening *one* book, let alone actually reading it!

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[Anonymous]

When a button falls, I put it in a small box on my desk and replace it on my clothing with a safety-pin. Usually, I’ll remember the button once I’ve thrown away the piece of clothing it came from.

As for books, I used to be able to read one or two at a time in reasonnable time. But for the last few years, I start a book, put it aside, start another one, put it aside… Actually, I have four books like that waiting to be finished, plus one I’m anxious to start reading. I just can’t get myself to start it.

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[Anonymous]

When you finally decide to organize your bills and other mail, and realize you’ve just had to pull out a TENTH full sized trash bag to put into your shredder to get rid of the crap that doesn’t need to be filed anymore because it’s so old or is just junk mail, and it’s been four hours since you’ve started because you’ve been interrupted so many times by numerous reminders from the two or three computer calendars you’ve set up to be sure you don’t miss any appointments or forget any of the three hundred tasks you have listed in them and had to stop to answer five of the VERY important emails that came in the meantime whilst setting up yet ANOTHER email account for yet ANOTHER specific purpose because you AND your wife will probably need to receive the mails coming to that account, then realize you have too many tabs open because Firefox just crashed, and you can’t relaunch it because it keeps crashing every time you try because you’ve got it set up to automatically open the last session as it was because you might forget the addresses to the over one hundred pages you have opened for all the forums you participate in regularly ~ hang on…

Sorry I just got an update on Facebook and had to reply. a friend of mine (whom I met on Bandmix ~ ever been to Bandmix? It’s a great site if you’re a musician looking for other musicians in your area to form a band ~ Hey! Even if you don’t want to form a band, and you’re just a closet musician who’d like some feedback on your music, there’s a great bunch of people there who will critique your stuff ~ some of them can be harsh though so if you’re sensitive you might want to grow a thick skin first…)

Hold on…

Sorry, I just realized the cat hadn’t been fed.

So, where was I?

Oh yeah. I was answering that email.

No. That wasn’t it, I was checking my task list.

Or was it paying the bills?

Oh yeah! It was all those things!

Damn, I can’t get to those until I get this stupid pile of mail out of my way!

*Growl!*

(Huh. That’s my stomach. I haven’t eaten in twelve hours…)

Shred, click, type, click, shred, file, shred shred shred, file, type type type, click…)

Just a sec. My phone’s ringing…

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[Anonymous]

MrXxx – I needed to laugh, thanks! I’ve been feeling depressed tonight. You’ve put a smile back on my face

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[Anonymous]

Ohmygosh! I feel so at home already! I didnt know other folks use their king size bed to store their stuff. I am currently watching TV in bed, have my laptop, well, on my lap, my briefcase next to me in case I should feel the need to rummage for something or other, and on the nightstand is my smart phone, a dozen books and various magazines that I am reading, a zillion pens and note pads (to write down important things because I WILL forget almost instantly).

yes, reading many things at one time. I speculate this is due to my interest in so many things. I can read a random article and off I go on a new adventure which often leads to another hobby…….(sigh)

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[Patte Rosebank]

I used to have quite the library in “the smallest room”. It’s strange, but the one permanent change I’ve noticed since starting on meds is that I no longer have a single book or magazine in there, nor do I need one.

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[Anonymous]

yay! i love feeling like i fit in somewhere at last!

… the library books…. my partner had an amnesty on mine last week- 17 big heavy books went back, many of which have been renewed for about a year- only one of which was read (the night before it was due back, cos i couldn’t renew it, cos someone else wanted it- an ADD book, no less!) another 3 received special dispensation after i promised to scan parts of them and take them back next week (not been done, won’t be done, or will be done desperately at the last minute while the bf warms up the truck and i yell “hangon! i’m just doing my makeup!” down the stairs while he curses me and asks why it sounds like i’m using a flatbed scanner to apply mascara…). i’ve finally got it set up so the library emails me a link to renew my books on their website, a week before they’re due- the fines were killing me.

the clothes… yeah- a huge part of me is so ‘in the zone’ about donning those specific trousers that i don’t even CONSIDER swapping them for other ones- its like no other trousers exist- i get completely sidetracked and end up late cos i ended up organising my coloured pencils- which i discovered were messy while looking for sewing thread, after deciding to sew them…. and end up just wearing them with industrial carpet tape hemming them up on the inside, crunching and adhering myself around the mall all day.

the automated phonelines… argh! i usually mash # repeatedly in the desperate hope i’ll get directed to an agent (sometimes actually works), or if its one that i have to talk to, i garble incoherantly- after about 3 tries it gets a person for me to garble slightly more coherantly at.

i can’t go through the whole ‘press three for blahdeblah’ thing unless i either talk to the automated voice along the way “allrightythen, imma press three if thats what you advise- incidently that is a lovely accent you have- is it yugoslavian? oh really… your mother was part catfish and your father was an elderberry, that explains it!…. whats that you say- my call is important to you? well, splendid old chap! its important to me too! what a coincidence! say, do you like ketchup? i love ketchup!….” or unless i just press numbers randomly with a lot of enthusiasm, and then get the poor agent who finally ends up with me to transfer me to wherever it is that i’m supposed to be… “erm, i think i pressed a wrong button, is this blahdeblah? no? can you transfer me?!…..” … that only works when i can remember who i’ve called, and why, though.

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[Anonymous]

I love reading this stuff! It makes me feel so at home. Th.e book thing, the button thing, the duct tape thing, I understand it all

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[Anonymous]

“MrXxx – I needed to laugh, thanks! I’ve been feeling depressed tonight. You’ve put a smile back on my face “

You know what’s really funny? (Or not, depending on how you want to look at it?)

That’s what I planned to do yesterday.

The closest I came to actually doing any of it was that post! ;-P

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[Anonymous]

you beat me on the plans.

i think my indicator would be:

you rely on lists of reminders and plans. …… well, you would, if you could find the lists. cos when you actually get as far as starting one, for some reason they’re always written individually on bits of scrap paper that exist in a semi liquid state inside the pockets of washed jeans, pinned under the cat, tucked into your bra for safekeeping- cos it long ago became apparent that pockets weren’t safe, and you tend to notice when stuff is stuck to your boob at some point during the course of the day, or worst case scenario at bedtime when it hits the floor-, taped to the roll of tape that you were gonna tape it to the bathroom mirror with- but the phone rang so that never happened and now its taped to tape in the drawer and will be found next xmas, after much cursing and a missed dentist appointment, or very smudgily scrawled backwards across your forehead and one cheek from being written on your arm last night before bed. that is, if they got started.

generally my lists consist of a piece of paper with:

TO DO LIST: *much underlining and emboldening*

1) write list

2)….

*insert small doodle of a snail riding a unicycle here*

*smeared chocolate goes here*

“oooh look, i found a catwhisker- kewlness!”…. *wanders off to tickle a cat with it. comes back to answer phone. checks email while not listening to mum on phone and randomly interjecting with “oooh! a 25 cent coin with a dude snowboarding on it!” and “do you like jam? i like blackberry jam!” revisits list…..*

2) ummmm…..

*goes for lunch. comes back from lunch. revisits list*

2) …..have lunch *scored out for sense of acheivement*

*sigh*

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[Anonymous]

i hate those phone things, i can never pay attention to what they are saying and i dont have the patients to wait for them to finish talking. i prefer to do things online instead.

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[Anonymous]

This website is the best! Thanks everyone! I feel so understood here, so at home as others say!

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[Anonymous]

WOW! Jennee!

I never thought about that one. I use my CID regularly! I only answer the phone for a choice few people. I prefer using email and the internet too. It’s so much more efficient anyway, and then you have everything in writing in case you forget what people said.

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[Anonymous]

definately- if i need to talk to someone from bell, rogers, etc, i’ll take the online help agent over a phone one if there is a choice. i bet the agents wish i didn’t- i type just as much as i talk.

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[Anonymous]

The phone tree thing is so true!!!!! I hate that! My doctor’s office has one that takes several minutes to navigate and more than once I have hung up, tossed the phone on the bed and walked away deciding that I don’t want meds that bad. I go back later and try again.

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[Author]

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