Funny "Diagnostic Indicators"

[Anonymous]

YAY! I’ve hemmed my pants with tape for many years now. The other thing I do is spill bleach on my pants frequently. Blue jeans or black pants. I have this thing about cleaning with bleach. Anyway, I either fill in bleach marks with a black sharpie OR blue ink pen depending…

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[Anonymous]

Okay, there are many things written here to which I’d like to respond, if I can remember all of them. Let me just… copy paste address… open new tab… Okay. I just did a quick check on facebook and a tweet, too.

Now, Mr.Xxx, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! That is so exactly how I do things. Do you know what I didn’t do all last week? Grocery shop. Why not, you ask? Because I have to clean out the fridge. All the uneaten leftovers and half-used cartons and cans and expired veggies… sigh. That’s the shortest example of my domino-procrastinations…

And Jeneticallymodified: Holy cow, LMFAO! I couldn’t get past the cat-tickling for all the squinty tears in my eyes. I don’t know WHY that is so hilarious, but it is. Every item on your “list” – I guess I just Really Relate! (Except for the fact that I *love* lists! they’re almost a hobby of their own.

Of course I read more than one book at once, duh. There’s a light funny one that I can read just a page or two at a time and peck at. There’s a Non-fiction one (or two) for whatever I’m addressing that month – how the brain works, how to organize your life, how to write a non-fiction book, how to remember your dreams, etc. – There is the tome – some 1000-pager epic that I will spend 6-10 months finishing, one long bath at a time.

I love the Nook. I can download most classic lit for free or $0.99. Got the complete Dickens for $2.99! I’ve read six, in a month. Then I switched for a break… will go back to Dickens afterwards. And, yeah, all books right there in my purse! Funny, serious, classic, modern, heavy, light, fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, horror… whatever strikes my fancy with a button or two!

Speaking of buttons, who doesn’t hate those automated phone menus? (Yeah, pretty sure that it’s not called a “phone tree”. A phone tree is usually a list of phone numbers for organizations, emergencies, community things. And the person at the tip calls 2 people on it, and they each call the next 2 people, etc. until all the information has been disseminated to all the members of the tree.) If it is a place I call regularly, like the bank, I memorize the menu order. 1, 3, 3, 5. If it is a one-off call, you can usually find me button mashing and screaming “REPRESENTATIVE! REPRESENTATIVE!” into the phone. (They never understand me… I speak English, wth?)

I don’t remember taping hems or any of the clothes things… When something needs fixing, I just take out my sewing kit and fix it. Or I don’t, which means it will lie in a pile in the closet for a year or two, until I either fix it or send it to goodwill.

Phone Chargers. I love my LG Lotus. SO much so, that each time I lose it, I replace it with the exact same model and color. So, I have three chargers. One at home, one at the office, and one that I’ve converted into a camera charger, because I lost the camera one.

I stopped borrowing library books, because I’ll be real good about it for a while, but inevitably there comes a time when I don’t finish (or start) the book/s, and I forget or get into something else, and three years later I’m cleaning and I come across them and say to myself, “Oh, crap.” So I don’t go anymore.

I can walk into a grocery store chanting “Toilet paper, orange juice, cat food, creamer”, and walk out without the toilet paper, the most needed item, but with three other things that were on sale.

I’m supposed to be filing my taxes Right Now. It’s the 1040EZ form, online now. We always get a nice refund. you’d think I’d be all over getting that, wouldn’t you? We’re getting a new computer and a vacation out of it, even.

And I again agree with Mr.Xxx: Texting is way better than calling or v-mail, b/c you have a written record of times, dates, places, addresses, etc.! I love texting. And it’s so much faster to reply to a text, than to listen to your v-mail, skip all the messages that are there b/c you need some number or info from them, or you haven’t returned yet, and get to the one new message you need to hear. Takes forever! Grrr!

I used to never pay my bills on time, if at all, b/c you had to write out a check, put it in an envelope, address it, stamp it, and Mail It. So many steps! So many things to go wrong! Then came Over-the-Phone payments – whew! and now with online billpay, I’m safe! Bills get paid! I get so mad if an agency doesn’t have an online payment option…

Okay, on to my taxes now. After I play with the kitten!

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[nellie]

Library Books – First of all I knew since I was a kid that the library was not a place I should get books from. I was about 7 when my mother and I joined the local library. I still have the book over 40 years later

I should have bought stock in the major book chains years ago but that’s another story. However, one of my daughters insisted we should join the public library about 2 years ago so, taking in to account the amount of money spent on a weekly basis at the book store, I agreed. She’s really good at returning hers, I on the other hand can’t go back.

I took out 5 hardcover books on a subject I’m researching. Kept renewing, then eventually got to the point where they start to mail you the slips that you owe them a fortune to pay for the book because you must be a normal person and were robbed so can’t return them.

Good intentions being what they always are, the books were in a cloth shopping bag near the front door so I could return them the “next time” I went out. I drive by the place once a day anyway… Well many more months went by.

Fast Forward to last summer’s vacation time and the family is frantically rushing around to get ready on time to get a taxi to the airport. At the last minute I see the bag and assume my husband ( who’s in the taxi) has forgotten his reading bag. Not that he really has a reading bag, but anyway.

So we get to the airport and in the usual mayhem he keeps refusing the bag every time I try to give it to him – “it’s not mine.” I keep repeating “yes it is” and start to get rather annoyed that I have to carry it. Anyway, because we’re so busy checking in, going through security etc. this gets unresolved until we are at the gate waiting to board.

I adamantly insist he carry his own reading bag. He says “I am” and holds up a plastic bag with mags etc. I of course say ” then why did you bring this one that you forgot in the hall?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I open the bag and of course burst out laughing when I see what it is. He thinks it’s not so funny and still won’t carry them.

The books are now somewhere in Europe.

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[Anonymous]

Mr. Xxxx-

I think I’m in love!! I totally understand what you, and most others on this site, are saying.

Thank you for “speaking my language!!”

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[batgirl]

I Love watching movies in bed- even better when I have the laptop in bed with me, along with a few magazines, a bowl of pasta and a book or two in case I get “bored”.

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[Anonymous]

Too funny!

I too, read about 6 books at any given time…. one per room.

Here’s some more, I’ve found:

1. “Suff’ on the tables: I have lots of flat surfaces in my house, and all of them are usually covered in ‘stuff’ – you know, the stuff I need to do today, the stuff for tomorrow, this stuff I’ll get done this week (no, really, I will)…

2. The library bans you: When I was 10, the public library sent a letter to my house saying I was no longer allowed to borrow books because I couldn’t return them. I never did find some of them.

3. “ADD House”: 3/4 rooms are neat in the house. The 4th looks like a tornado hit it, right before the tsunami. It will take an act of God or a wastebasket to a parallel universe to clean it. I close the door and walk away.

4. Attraction to Movie Shorts: My son does not expect me to put on a movie and actually be able to sit through the entire 90 min of it. Going to the theater requires a movie with a very hunky superhero.

5. Perpetual Renovation: In the House of Perpetual Renovation, there is a very good chance that all ongoing jobs will be finished on exactly the same day – and simultaneously, the WHOLE house will finally be complete. This will be the day before I list the house, I am sure.

6. Bottomless Purse: If you were to dump your purse right now, you can accurately predict you would have 10 very unusual items in the bottom of your purse – but not be able to list one before you dumped it.

7. Umbrella factor: I once had 9 umbrellas and no idea where any of them were. I made a project of hunting in all corners when I couldn’t find any. That’s how I found out I had 9.

Ahhhh, yes…. you know you have ADD when….!

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[Anonymous]

LOL – this is me too, minus the cat food – “I can walk into a grocery store chanting “Toilet paper, orange juice, cat food, creamer”, and walk out without the toilet paper, the most needed item, but with three other things that were on sale.”

Our house is such a mess that we can’t invite anyone over, even someone to help us with decluttering and cleaning, although we’ve both agreed that’s what we really need to do, get help. The most embarassing thing I had to do lately was give the ADD psychiatrist 3 photos of our living space – I’m sure it’s no worse than what he’s seen before, but it hit home hard.

Our library now sends email reminders and you can manage the holds and renewals online. If something’s overdue and I still want it, my husband puts it on hold on his account, and picks it up for me. Every once in awhile we get caught with a fine but I think of it as a donation to the library.

I think I have at least 30 books that I’ve got that I want to read (purchased) that I haven’t yet, started into 5 or so of them.

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[billd]

these last two are so funny, and so true! Perpetual projects. When I finish one room, it’s about time to start over as the now the paint is 10 years old, but I just now got the woodwork back up!

Go to the grocery store, forget the list. On that list were 2 items – do you think we can remember those TWO items? No, we leave with 50 bucks worth of other stuff, then find the list had milk and bread on it.

OR, we go to the store for milk, and leave with everything BUT milk.

I’ll have to post photos of my garages! (and my office area, I think there’s a desk, there’s something holding up the monitor and keyboard anyway………. must be a desk. Can’t recall what color the top is, though.

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[Anonymous]

LOL, bill. happens all the time at the grocery store. They are designed to confuse normal people so it’s no surprise that ADDers are challenged in that environment. I have made many a list to take, and gotten home only to find out that the list never made it out of my pocket. My husband never gets the list beyond the front door

I might have to change my profile picture, my husband took the big extra monitor away (the one that was holding all my sticky notes, just like the picture), and exchanged it for a much smaller extra monitor, and forbade me from putting stickies right on the glass. It was my bulletin board at home. Oh well, none of those ideas or projects were ever going to happpen anyway 😡

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[billd]

I got my wife a Kindle Fire for Christmas. she’s a nut for books, and entertainment like games (solitaire, break-out, etc.) and the Fire is really a multi-media entertainment device or interface to Amazon’s stuff.

I was searching for apps and games and came across some neat organizer things – lists, reminders, etc. a LOT of them. Now I think I want a tablet, or at least a bigger phone. I can see so much of that being handy. My problem, I’d get to the store and not have my phone or tablet or list……………..

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[Anonymous]

I did this today:

You KNOW you have ADD when… you think to yourself, “Hey, self, you’re kinda spaxxy today…running a little high” So you take your ADD meds to calm down.

So I’m spazzy, I take stimulants to calm down…then I end up sleepy! On 40 mg of stimulants!

Yeesh…my brian is wired weird…lol

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[Anonymous]

The grocery store has to be the worst!! That and Chapters! I can go in for one thing and come out with a million. For example, went in to the store to get eggs and milk… well at least I remembered to get those, but left with $150 dollars of food I still haven’t eaten! And that was almost a month ago! Did I mention that I don’t have that money to spend… ARG! At least when I am at home (away at school) my fiancee does all the shopping, otherwise we’d be out of money in a blink!

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[Author]

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