I'm the one who…

[Anonymous]

Laughs…at everything…even when it is inappropriate, out of nervousness.

Interrupts people when they are talking, constantly.

Complain about all the slow drivers, ride their ass, and then complain when someone is riding mine.

Says the f-word, constantly…again even when it is inappropriate.

Argues about everything, even when I may agree with the opinion.

Organizes and cleans the same areas over and over again, only put off organizing and cleaning areas that I do not want to deal with.

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[Anonymous]

…who in addition to the other driving habits, shouts in my car to ALL the ignorant motorists, who haven’t taken the time to go to driving school for all the speeding tickets, because they don’t seem to know any of the common rules of the road that make traffic flow nicely!

1) When making a right turn you CAN go when the light is red, you just need to pause for a teeny tiny second to make sure no one is going to crush you.

1a) When turning right, you must turn into the right lane and not drag across three lanes to the left lane – you will see the importance later.

2) When making a left turn, YES even a protected left, you must turn into the LEFT-most lane SO that those turning right opposite you have a place to go and you all don’t crush each other.

These two simple rules will help the traffic flow, and keep my blood pressure in check.

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[Anonymous]

… after getting on the elevator and selecting my floor- I immediately press the door close button

…multiple times. One press isn’t going to do the job.

I was just telling my dog the other day, “If I had a nickel for every time I said I would rather drive 10 miles out of my way than to sit in traffic for more than five minutes, I would be very rich.” My dog rides shotgun everywhere I go, so I talk to him a lot. He’s not much on conversation, but he’s a good listener.

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[Anonymous]

About the escalator thing–my parents came to visit me once and I took them to see my office in lower Manhattan. I was mortified that they chose to stand side by side on the escalator and I ordered them to stand to the right. Where they are from, the only escalators they ever encountered were at the mall. I must say that they were very obedient and even remembered to do it the next time we used one. haha – I am a little embarrassed about making as big a deal as I did over it.

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[Anonymous]

I am the one… who, when in the line up to pay for my groceries and you push your cart up so close to my cart that I am unable to move my cart through the check-out so that I can pack my groceries in it, that I will without any filter, turn around and glare at you and retort with – should I stuff that cart in my back pocket or should I put your groceries with mine and pay for them too?

Back up your cart and shake your head!

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[Anonymous]

. . . has finally figured out the difference between affirming and enabling, but still backslides.

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[Anonymous]

I am the one who type “www.google.com” to open google and then realize… that the google page was already open in that window!

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[Anonymous]

….who after spending almost an hour choosing groceries, when upon reaching the check out lines, will leave the store if there are too many people waiting on line.

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[Anonymous]

when standing in the 1-8 items line and someone if front of me has more than 8 items… I count their items out loudly and then ask if they are also parked in the handicap spot.

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[Anonymous]

I’m the one who … got a major speeding ticket (points, points, points) on the way to a 3 day meditation retreat.

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[Anonymous]

ran her finger through the sewing machine one night after trying to finish a project after the meds wore off. The ER doctor got a good laugh out of that one, too. (Are you on any medication? … Yes, for ADHD. So if you have any doubts if I need it…)

who has the “magic bag”- the one with EVERYTHING a person might need in it: batteries of various sizes, a power cord, pez, ear bud adapters, 50 pens of various colors, a pull up, lip balm, hand lotion, dental floss, a tooth brush, keys to places I no longer work and cars I no longer own, a screw driver, a pair of socks, itch stick, and so much more. The bag weighs upwards of 35lbs (I tried to check it once on a flight).

remembers every detail just in case I need them for some reason and will remind you of them if it ever comes to an argument- I will even act out the moment just as it happened (which will enrage you).

says what everyone else is thinking in a meeting.

knows the answer or can figure it out faster than anyone else in the class.

brushes her hair once a day.

will find the “diamond in the rough”… Oooo! Shiney!

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[Tiddler]

LOL Love these. I’ve done lots of these – especially walking out of stores leaving a full trolley of groceries I’ve spent an hour choosing because a store assistant was snotty with me or the queue was too long!

I’m the one who used to let myself get treated like crap but who learnt to stand up for herself.

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[quizzical]

I’m the one who hates online magazine articles presented as “slide shows.” Why does a list of ten things require clicking through ten pages, each one sentence long and accompanied by a lame stock-image illustration?

I’m also not fond of video instructions – you’d think videos would be more ADD-friendly than text, but I’d much rather read (skim ) the directions at my own pace!

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[Anonymous]

flips hand in circle and rolls eyes repeatedly to speed along SLOW TALKERS = nuff said

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[Anonymous]

Leaves doors open, cabinets, refrigerator (mine beeps if open too long… and drives me nuts). If I every hear “were you born in barn?” again I will kill someone. I had no idea that anyone else ever did that now I’m finding out its common… wow.

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[Author]

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