recently (and unexpectedly) diagnosed- and still floundering

[turbo]

Good call, spicelady!

She’d be GREAT ! With some people, their personality really comes through in their writing. She could end up with a large following in short order!

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[Anonymous]

hahaha i’ll think about it spicelady! thanks for the vote of confidence turbo!

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[Anonymous]

Hey Jen!

I hope you don’t get down on yourself too hard… you really are entertaining and captivating…

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[Anonymous]

awwww, thankyou kazuo. i do tend to give myself a hell of a hard time (classic adult child of an alcoholic behaviour!), but i’m really working on not doing that anymore. and you guys are nothing but helpful on that front.

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[Anonymous]

WOW! YOU TOO? I’m an adult child of an alcoholic! In fact my Dad died from diabetic complications exacerbated by his alcoholism so thats why I tend to be hard on myself at times! You know your name shouldn’t be jen it should be GEM if anything you are a diamond in the rough waiting to shine!!!

K

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[Anonymous]

hahahaha gem? awwwww, thats cute.

sorry about your dad kazuo- mine somehow sobered up and got into AA when i was 16- after being wasted for a good 50 years- but he’s still got a long way to go (15 years on) in the ’12 steps to not behaving completely inapropriately cos he’s an angry scared old git’ scheme of things. its not easy for anyone. addiction sucks.

i do sometimes wonder how many alcoholics are dealing with underlying ADHD as well as the obvious stuff like genetic predisposition, emotional escape from horrific upbringings/lack of coping skills -sorta underlying factors. i bet its much more than we realise.

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[Patte Rosebank]

There’s a very high percentage of people with ADHD (especially undiagnosed ADHD), who have substance abuse issues.

It’s partly the lack of the executive function to say to yourself, “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to do that,” and partly the lack of dopamine (or dopamine receptors) in the brain of an ADHD person. The substances cause a release of dopamine, which makes us feel good, and when something feels good to us, we tend to keep doing it.

There’s also our tendency to indulge in risky behaviours in order to get an adrenaline kick to stimulate our under-functioning right pre-frontal cortexes.

When someone with ADHD is being properly treated with meds (even when the meds are stimulant-based, and, therefore, prone to being abused), the addictive behaviours actually decrease significantly. So the patient is LESS likely to abuse the meds, than to abuse other substances.

I know from my own experience with Concerta that it greatly reduced my cravings for carbs, fats, and other illicit, high-calorie yummies…except at night, when the Concerta had worn off.

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[Anonymous]

cool!

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[Anonymous]

You know… I am in a very unique position I’m in school at this moment and I an in the Social services program at St. Petersburg College here in St. Petersburg, Florida. I have two options one leads me into social work; the other as an addictions counselor maybe option two may hold the key… It was really bittersweet; In the end I finally told my Dad… I loved him; after 35 years I finally told him I loved him. The emotions that poured out of me, shocked me and left me just about catatonic when I heard from him for the first time in 35 years, that he loved me… indeed there is alot more going than we realize. Jen thank-you for shareing your story hang in there okay? Larynxa thank-you again for your insights I really appreciate and look forward to them.

.

K

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[Anonymous]

…….i’m dangling in there still!

i keep thinking about trying a stimulant based medication, and getting into a big worried flap about becoming addicted or going through comedown if i have to withdraw from using them. i’m gonna discuss it with the shrink.

while i’m able to think clearer and see when i’m interrupting/going off on a tangent-mid sentance/behaving innapropriately a lot more now than before, and am waking up, focusing, and staying calm a bit easier, i’m still wiped out really quickly by day to day stuff, and can’t seem to get any energy behind me, or get started easily. to make things worse i discovered yesterday that i’ve gone up more than a full clothes size in the last few months- despite eating less and exercising more, and dropping 10lb on the scales. no, it aint gone on as muscle, no, i aint pregnant.

the whole weight and tiredness thing has been driving me insane since i was 10 or 11 (i was a skinny kid, then suddenly it started piling on) so much so that for the longest time i was convinced i was hypothyroid (apparently i’m not)….. i feel like anything that could give me a decent hard shove into action and keep me moving once i was started wouldn’t hurt on that front, although i’m concerned that i might have the wrong agenda in mind.

what is really funny though, is that i’ve spoken to both my partner and my mum about the idea of trying a stimulant, and voiced my concerns, and despite both of them knowing me like they do, and knowing my history (mum was pretty frazzled by my enthusiastic pharmacutical dabblings when i was a teen, as well as by my dads addiction- his whole side of the family are alcoholics, the bf’s ex had major drug addiction problems that caused him and their kid a lot of pain) they’re both really quite keen on my giving it a go, and feel sure that i’m self-aware enough, smart enough, and have seen enough that i wouldn’t let myself develop a problem or get in over my head.

meanwhile, i’m thinking about how much i like how the mild codeine tablets which i take for pain a few days a month make me feel. i absolutely never take them unless i am in serious pain, but even thinking about them sitting in the drawer makes me feel the same way as seeing someone light a cigarette or joint does, as an ex-smoker… that twinge of desire is there, it never goes away.

…. i wish i had the same level of confidence in myself as they seem to.

kazuo- i loathe feeling like i’m telling anyone what to do, and i’m definately not here, but something that might be worth passing on: i was told very firmly by an addiction worker when i was looking into going into councelling a few years ago, to be very sure that i’d beaten all of my own demons before putting myself in a position where i’m going to be exposed to someone elses- especially someone vulnerable- as it can be incredibly hard to help them process their stuff and stay a step back from it emotionally, and remain objective sometimes- even when you don’t have first hand familiarity with being on the receiving end of an addict, or having been in their shoes.

she said that as people who really know ‘how it is’, we have a lot to offer those in recovery, and that they tend to respect someone who really does ‘get it’ cos they’ve been there, or somewhere similar- its just vital that we’re in a position to know where the line is, and how to stay on our side of it, before we get into a caring and enabling role- or we can do more harm than good- to both parties.

: ) i know i couldn’t deal with addicts day in day out, anymore than i could work behind the bar in a pub- i’d really struggle to keep my head together long term. thats not to say its not right for you, of course.

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[Anonymous]

Brillient insight Jen,

I know I have an aversion to working in a Pub and as far as working with addicts it would be from the stand point of dealing with the underline situation, that is to say, ADD/ADHD, bi-polar disorder,etc humm! you know you are right my initial perception about getting involved with that was correct for me to go into addictions councselling would be more self distructive than good. thank-you for passing on that tidbit.

I know what you mean about being an ex-smoker it really is a tough one I too am an ex-smoker but it truely helps to have a partner that is a non-smoker. As for your body image issue have you consulted an MD about your dress size increase after a 10lb weight loss? If so what was the outcome?

As for going on a stimulant based medication- you need to understand the rational for the use of stimulants; It affects the ADD brain is differently than other brains; they tend to be a calming agent rather than an “upper” for us; it’s like taking Xanax to calm a panic attack when consumption is purpose based, you lessen the possibility of “psychological dependency.”

You are quite correct in consulting your psychiatrist about going on any medication also refer to my entry to you in the “ADD and Religion” forum . Good luck and tell me what your psychiatrist says about stimulant based medications for you… okay?

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[Anonymous]

cool cool yeah, i’ve seen numerous doctors about the weight stuff, and they all just run bloods, say that everything is ‘within the normal range although maybe a bit off whats expected but not terribly’, go ‘hmmm’, and send me to a dietician, who looks at my diet and seems a bit stumped, then they suggest i get more exercise, which i do try and do, but when it brings you out in itchy hives and the sniffles (i know, cholinergic urticaria is weird- but its real), and you’re already wiped out, thats a bit tricky. so they suggest antihistamines (which i’m already using)… and then they suggest the antihistamines might be causing the tiredness and weightgain, and round and round it goes. honestly, i’ve given up bugging them cos they start to label you a hypocondriac after a bit and then you’re entirely doomed to never be taken seriously again.

thats a logical way of looking at the medication stuff. i get the same calm feeling from codeine, which is probably why i like it. i’ll definately attempt to remember to let you know, i have an appointment in a couple of weeks.

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[Anonymous]

Hum! I see your frustration, but didn’t you say you lost 10ibs and gained a dress size??? What were the responses to that? Something as obvious as that surely can’t be over looked… or can it?

K

Cool when is your appointment I will remind you about this matter re: Yr inquiry on stimulant based medications such as Ritilin and Adderal.

K

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[Anonymous]

you would think not. but yeah, apparently so.

um… its written down on a card in my wallet- end of the month-ish. don’t worry, i should remember.

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[Anonymous]

Jen,

Lets try and keep in touch about this matter… okay?

K

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[Author]

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