[billd]

sdwa I knew there was another post I wanted to sort of try to address or shoot some thoughts out on…..
We need sites like CHADD and the others – it helps keep things in balance. I REALLY ENJOY this site as it’s where folks can relax, talk about their ADHD, laugh about it where possible, discuss aids, shoot for “solutions” to some of the unique problems we face, etc. – and seldom is anyone judged. We’re among friends for the most part. But frankly, with my flavor of ADHD – severe – and the impact it has had on me and continues to have on me, literally being a risk to my life and health at times, nearly killing me more times that I care to admit (even to myself), and causing me loss of job and opportunity, I need to know more. I have an intense curiosity and I would suspect, no, I’d actually bet on it – that I’ve done more research and reading on the topic than 90% of the other members, save for Rick and crew.  I made it a point to become as much of an “expert” as I could possibly become as a non-doctor person – accounting for the limited time I have to devote to such things. I’ve got the equivalent of months of study and reading in it, in a very short time.

We are all products of a variety of factors – socioeconomic, education, peers, work and personal relationships and so on. How a teach or teacher dealt with us at a given grade level, how others reacted, were we included or excluded from activities, how did our parents react, were there any treatments – was it even recognized at all that it was in our lives, were we bullied, told we were lazy or worthless, and in that mix there’s what, 7 different flavors or combinations of ADHD we can “have”? So how ADHD impacts any one of us is as unique as we are – or would have been with no ADHD at all. Some folks can drink a 6 pack of good beer and walk a pretty straight line. I have a couple and I need to be careful…… a good friend went through a quarter’s worth of beer on penny beer night years ago, I went through a dime and all but passed out. Why? We were the same age, both male, both went to the same college, but why did he handle more than twice the beer I did? Why does Adderall really help some ADHD adults quite a bit – enough they have a “Eureka!” moment, and me, hardly phases me at all. Oh I may not fall asleep at work that afternoon, but the impact on ADHD? Minimal at best, maybe less argumentative, but otherwise as scatter-brained as ever. So for any place or person to tell me “it’s fine, ADHD is no big deal and you can control it”, bunk. Oh, I will TRY, absolutely – I will try, I’ll do all the ADHD allows me to remember to do. And I’ll continue to hope as I truly would love to experience even just a few days with it even a bit under “control”, but to sit and hear lectures about how I don’t need drugs or I’m not trying if I can’t control it with no drugs – that’s as bad as the lectures by the old grade school teachers. I want the facts, cold hard real, reality, facts. Not opinions, not “you shouldn’t feel that way”, no – give me the facts, the truth and nothing but – no sugar coating. Thus I like Dr. Barkley’s videos a WHOLE LOT. In fact I use them to help explain to others what it’s like inside my head – and explain why things happen with me as they do. It’s a scientific explanation, the fact, not others trying to convince me it’s a blessing that I simply don’t know how to use or leverage to my advantage. I want a balanced approach. I WANT the clinical side – that’s why I hit the Internet to begin with – Give it to me straight. And watching the video that started it all for me – hearing how Patrick had some rough scrapes and did some really “goofy” things really made it hit home – I could relate SO much to Patrick. I said to myself – that’s me, absolutely, that’s me! And I love and respect him for telling us like it is – he and his wife explaining that he’s had some “troubles”, just like I have, been into some tight spots and ticked people off, gone to the doctor on the wrong day or time, missed appointments, all of that – and here’s Patrick – love the guy, man enough to speak up about it all on TV. My opinions of he and Rick were already way high. But now are about as high as they could be. They don’t say “there’s a fix, here, this will work”, but they DO, at least in my mind as I interpret it all, say “this is worth a shot, this does work for a lot of folks (maybe even them) and should be at least looked at. Fine – I’m good with that. Ya note I keep coming back!

But for me, the clinical understanding of what ADHD is, how it can or does impact the individual, the clinical side – what to look for, the common pitfalls, common issues or problems, with that, with the medical side, the Doctor’s technical explanation in hand, I can better understand MYSELF. And with that understanding, I have a leg-up as it were – as I can tell what may work for me, or may not, what to try and so on. So give me the clinical rub. Don’t hide it – the first step to dealing with any situation is an understanding of that situation – the facts and figures, then one can tailor a solution for the individual person.

I can’t deal with the all positive aspect – hey come join us, it’s all good, ADHD is fine, be happy, it is an aid in your work and you can take advantage. Well, if that worked for that person, good, I’m really happy and thankful for them, but let’s consider that I’m me – and if I have the facts as bad as it may appear, now I’ve heard the worst possible things about it – and can move forward and upward.

My ADHD won’t ever depress me to the point of being “clinically depressed” (although that DOES run in my family, my personality is just too… uh, no, I won’t go there no matter what).
I have days where I curse the ADHD. I’d pray for just a single day without it, just to see what COULD have been…… but then, I am also happy enough with me as me, hey if someone doesn’t like me, oh, well. I’m me, I’m “generally happy with me”, and it’s a bit late NOW to change or undo what 57 years of ADHD, family, economic tough times, jobs and job losses, wrecks, disasters, chopped up hands and so on have done so might as well accept it, not necessarily like it, but accept it and see what I might do to make the next few years at least no worse than the prior years. I’ over-all a happy person. I love to laugh, I love a good joke (especially the CLEAN CLEVER jokes that rely on creativity and basic humor), I love to work, I love being creative, solving problems, troubleshooting and am proud of what I’ve done with so very little through my life. I’ve accomplished a lot all things considered, and ADHD or not, that can’t be a bad thing. My kids love me, my cats absolutely ADORE ME and actually fight for the position next to my head and the ability to actually touch me while we sleep. I’m ok with where I’m at with me – I’d really prefer some relief from the ADHD – so I could live longer as frankly it’s so very stressful I fear it will lead to a shorter life with worse health down the road, but otherwise, I must accept what I have and who I am. I don’t care for the alternative at all. Life is a gift. I guess the fact that it was wrapped in some pretty bad paper shouldn’t detract from it all that much.  I love my hobbies, if I’m bored then I’m not taking charge of what I know I have working against me and well, that’s something I CAN control to some extent.

But frankly I need CHADD, Dr. Barkley, and the hard cold truth so I can develop my own thoughts and opinions. I’d prefer to not hang in something that’s all “let’s sing around the camp fire, hold hands and pretend all is wonderful and well and there are no problems at all”. I prefer reality-  and my reality is likely different than others’ reality……. that’s a given, that’s life, ADHD or not, we all develop based on inner and outside influences. We may all fit the clinical diagnosis, we may all have similar common symptoms, but beyond that, if there were 10,000 people here you’d hear of 10,000 different takes on ADHD in their lives. I won’t try to correct the way someone feels about it – a feeling isn’t right or wrong, it just is…….

(Ya note that I eventually keep coming back here, eh?)

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[billd]

Oh, man – you have no idea how much I’d dearly love to be able to accompany her on one of those flights – to experience all that, see it first-hand. Wow.
I caught parts of a program that studied the effect and cause of upward lightening – those lightening events that go UP instead of down. I was amazed. Wish I had caught the whole show, but the photos that came back from the space shuttle were awe-inspiring. I want to know more – I want to know it all, I want to SEE these things from up there. Actually, I’d love nothing more than to be able to travel space faster than light and see what there is to see out there, to be there, witness it – and know all I can about all of it.

Lightening is just too cool – love the power, the mystery.
Not that I want to touch it and feel the devastation, but I want to understand it, and especially the less understood effects, and the upward shots that take place – going up for miles above the clouds into space.
I’d love to be in an aircraft experiencing the natural phenomena around our world,
I want to hop on a ship designated NCC-1701 and take off and see what’s out there.

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[billd]

I should post the paper my “sleep doctor” gave me on good practices to ensure good and enough sleep. It’s quite awakening… uh, well, yeah. I learned a few things.
I now run f.lux on my computers, I watch the type and color of light, I am more careful about the TV I watch (although they said no TV, I find old TV shows or boring shows help me sleep – I avoid non-stop action movies as much as possible right before “bed time”.
We had a problem shutting our brains down – hey – can you shift your attention at will? Can you focus on one thing and then change to another and control thoughts at will? I didn’t think so. Our brains are running at warp 9 all day – and to get them to downshift or slow down is hard.

My problem is I’m one clinical point away from narcolepsy – they call it EDS since I was shy of meeting the proper narcolepsy requirements for diagnosis.

I also freaked them out when they found that I enter dream state almost instantly. Normally we enter sleep and then REM and dream after at least 90 minutes for “normal” people. Oh, but not me, I am NOT normal! I was entering REM and dream state during their test within minutes, but at times, when I am not in a sleep study and clinical environment, I enter dream state sometimes as I am falling asleep! There have been times pre-meds where I was actually falling asleep while sitting and working – and dreaming at the same time. I’d suddenly be looking for something that was never there – and yet it was, no, I was asleep for a split second or so. Oops, break over! I have a lot more on sleep since I was one of their more severe cases – I’ll share when I find the papers (if I find the papers, or if I remember ever having been here today and posting)

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[billd]

It’s worse when you live in Iowa and near Des Moines. Medical help here xxxxxx… well, it’s a family forum and I won’t tempt the moderators here….. but insert your own naughty word in there. (I could give examples of when they messed up my hand so bad I’ve lost 50% of the function in one finger, the doc botched the stitches, and further back when the ER doc messed up the splint or brace on my broken collar bone, etc.)
These clowns in ER and many doctors really do not care or are under such pressure from Mercy, which pretty much runs things around here, good doctors can hardly practice.
What I’m really ticked about now is that I read the sheets that came with the dextroamphetamines and where it tells about drug interactions and all  – it specifically mentions a drug I’ve been on for years (the help it gives it quite questionable, however). It’s traimterene-HCTZ. It’s basically a “water pill” they prescribed years ago for Meniere’s. It’s not labeled for such use, but some doctors prescribe it for Meniere’s as they think it may help. Check what it is, what it does, possible side effects – and then check the labels and warnings for Dextroamphetamines…. yeah.
uh-huh…. then worse, I started doing research on Triamterene – and find that it in itself could have those “rare” side effects, but when mixed with the stuff it’s normally mixed with, the HCTZ – it’s something to watch for when taking these ADHD drugs. But let’s get back to the triamterene for now – warning, stay out of the sun, etc. etc. Uh, I spend a ton of time in the sun. I have to be outdoors a lot, I live for the air and open outdoors. I love yard and garden work and spend many long hours in the sun. and NOW I see this warning. Ok, I’ve complained to multiple ENTs about CHRONIC sore throat, trouble swallowing, and other pains, swollen neck areas, back and joint pains – and gee, what can Triamterene-hctz do? Cause sore throat, etc. etc. etc. Interesting.
So I hit up the pharmacist about the Triamterene – asked her “what’s the HCTZ after it stand for? she told me (I already knew of course), so I replied “but this dextroamphetamine says that it could be a problem”, and she responded not to worry, they have to say that, etc. and there’s generally nothing at all to worry about. Uh, aren’t you guys supposed to watch for possible drug interactions and at least WARN ME when I pick them up “hey, we note that you are also on xxxxx so be watchful for xxxx”.  And if I hadn’t read those sheets in detail and spent 2 bloody hours on the web looking this stuff up, what then? They never said a thing about being watchful that I”m taking BOTH of those drugs that COULD interact – and the doctors never said squat – that they were prescribing triamterene on a guess that it may help, or that I needed to be aware of all of these other things – like very high potassium levels and other nasty things that can result from triamterene-HCTZ.
I swear I have so little patience for or trust in doctors any more – at least around Iowa. I think I’d have superior care if I moved to Canada or Korea! No joke. If I was closer to the border, I’d drive into Canada where they care and know a whole lot more about ADHD. No one around here knows squat about it except for the doc who did my final detailed analysis and testing.
Funny, unless I want to take adderall or one or two other things forever, whether they help or not, it’s up to ME to suggest other things to try. ME, hey, I ain’t the doctor here – but I seem to know as much as they do.

What I”d really LOVE to know – if I hit upon a drug that DOES help with ADHD – what’s it feel like, how will I know? Or will I know? Will there be a “gee, this is much better!” moment? It’s been over 2 years, I’m on drug number 6 or 7 if we count all of them, strattera, nu-vigil and some of the others that were really NASTY.
This dexro or dextro stuff – sort of ok for the sleep problems but then I feel really nappy at times. If I’m bored or feeling overwhelmed, I want to take a nap. And sometimes the need for nap is so overwhelming it feels as if I will quite literally collapse if I don’t lay down or sit for a while and “snooze”. It’s that bad, that serious. This dex takes the edge off that, but I still get that feeling now and then.

I’m on 2 15 meg spansules per day, pharmacist said “take them both at the same time” where the prescriber said “at the same time, or take one then wait 3 or 4 hours and take the other, depending on how I get by”. Well, the two 15s together or one a few hours later hardly has any impact on me. But then, nothing else has done squat for my ADHD anyway.
I’m about to give up – it’s costing a ton of time going back and forth for appointments, and having to go every 30 days and get the paper, then back to the pharmacy, remembering to take the pills, as well as the other stuff I’m on, then back again for another appointment, back for another paper so I can get more pills – and the best effect so far has been to prevent my napping or being TOO tired in the middle of the day. There’s been very little impact on the ADHD – best thing there was the adderall, but it lost effect.
I was told flat out that that can’t really happen – my body can’t possibly become accustomed to it so somethng else must have changed. nope – when I started taking the adderall it really helped a lot with the EDS and it did help my attitude AT TIMES, but then after a bit over a year, it stopped helping much with the sleep even.

So back to the original question – anyone here taking the dex stuff – if so, how much, when, and how does it help IF it helps?

I really am starting to believe that NO drug will help – if one has, I sure never had any “wow” or “eureka” moment!!

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[billd]

Well guess what – I’ve tried two times now to respond to posts/threads and I get the message that my reply cannot be created. Hmmm, guess I’ve been a very bad boy…  I wonder – will THIS post even make it!

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[billd]

You people bring tears to my eyes with those pet stories. They are really honestly touching – and that says a ton about YOU, too. What great people you must be.
@blackdog -When I farmed and was married to my first wife we had a sweat calico named Mitzi and a Siamese named Samurai. We called him Sam for short. They became close friends and hung out together, indoor/outdoor cats (but I am to the point after Yawnie, no more outside cats, period – I can’t handle the stress and unknowns). One day we’d been out shopping, the closest town for shopping was 30 minutes away – and we’d been out until later evening. We got home and found Mitzi and let her in, but didn’t find Sam. He did have a habit of going to the neighbors for hours, even days, and hanging out there, almost as if he’d decided to move to their place. for some reason I can’t remember, I went into the garage – we didn’t use it a lot as it was dirt floor and in bad shape – I found Sam – dead, on his side. The part that made me freak out, though, was the pattern in the dust all around him – he suffered terribly and had been squirming and wriggling around before the end came. He was laid on his side stiff and cold. Man, I lost it. He was MY cat and people who have pure Siamese cats know that they bond with A person and that’s that. But it wasn’t just me who freaked – for weeks, and I mean many weeks – Mitzi would not go anywhere NEAR that garage. When she went out she took a very wide path clear away from that garage and never went close to it, let alone into it.   I had our vet send Sam’s body to Iowa State University for testing to determine what the heck happened to an apparently healthy kitty. Between our vet who did an autopsy and the ISU veterinary school labs, all they could determine for sure is that he somehow “suffocated” – not in the sense that his nose and mouth were blocked, but his body just suddenly stopped getting oxygen for some unknown reason. Just like that. So that explains his horribly struggle in the end – he was struggling to get air, to live.  I almost have a panic thing myself just thinking of that.
Sherri and I divorced a few years later and when Barbara and I married – Mitzi – and by then a cat who wandered on and we adopted, Peanuts, were in/out cats for a short time – we moved off the farm and down to the central part of the state and they became INSIDE ONLY cats.
In our new place after the move, Mitzi and Peanuts used to chase each other around and around and around as the house was arranged so they could pass through the kitchen and dining area, through a wide opening to the living room, through that room, then through the doorway into the hall, down the hall and back into the kitchen – it was a big circle race track for them. Barbara likes rugs on the floor and those two would do everything in their power to shove those rugs out of their way. They’d pause a moment – Barbara would put the rugs back in place and they’d run and shove them back out of the way, then pause – and she’d put them back, and they’d move them out of their way again, over and over. I swear it was a game for them. Mitzi and Peanuts bonded and became friends.

I had a cat named Snoopy for a very short time – he contracted some internal thing and back then the vets didn’t go to the same lengths. Honestly, though, even these days he may not have lived long. He was a pretty cool cat – but I was pretty young, under 10, so memories are few and faded – but I do have some photos of him.  Then came “Boots”, a yellow tabby with white boots – but we started calling him “Hairy Cat” after a cartoon my mom found in the paper – fellow getting into his car, cat sitting up in back seat – “Let’s hit the starty-poo Hairy” – car does nothing “Relax, Hairy, it won’t start”. (I don’t recall the details but suspect it was implying the kitty was going to the vet…..)  He became my buddy. He liked to follow me EVERYWHERE, and would ride my shoulder from the house to the garage and Mom would watch out the window and said Hairy’s head was just a bobbing up and down as he enjoyed the ride. More than once he followed me to school – so I got to where I’d wait to feed him until I was ready to leave for school – I’d quickly put food in his bowl then run the first block before he realized I was gone. (I had a pigeon that followed me to school and in art class she’d sit on the window of the class room and hang around. The teacher notices and said “that bird is only there when Bill is in class”. LOL.
Hairy had some health problems, and I’d moved away to college and he stayed with my parents. He live to be something like 16 or 18, though! I remember my best friend had a beagle named Corky. Corky would follow Bob to our place and hang around while Bob and I hung out. One time Hairy was in the garage and Corky came over with Bob. Hairy didn’t like the intruder and slashed Corky across the nose sending him yelping back home. Another time Corky made his way to our place without Bob being there – Corky was just sort of snooping around and Hairy spotted him – Hairy jumped on Corky’s back and rode him like a rodeo cowkitty! It was hilarious!

I guess I’m just a cat person – but I can’t go into a shelter or pet store or the rescue league or where-ever as I can’t handle seeing cats and kittens in cages. I just can’t deal with it. In fact it bothers me so much that when it came time to look for a Tonk breeder so we could get a couple of Tonkinese – I opted for a breeder that didn’t keep their cats in rows of cages for weeks at a time.  I even had a friend go to one breeder that my wife was considering buying from and have my friend check them out – pay them a visit and take some pictures. Rows of cages in a building – nicely kept, clean and all, but still 2 tiers of cages along the wall – and hours without human interaction were a possibility. The breeder we bought from kept the cats in the house all the time. At times the toms had to be locked in rooms in the lower level – but still they were treated like part of the family, and played with and all. The result is two of the most ornery, but lovable Tonks you can imagine. The breeder name – ‘Lovin’ Tonks’
How true……

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[billd]

>>I get too upset when it comes time to put them down and it can throw me into a tail spin. I guess it’s an ADD thing- Inattention, forgetfulness, lack of time sense, emotional deregulation combined with hypersensitivity and that lack of ability to see the future until it hits you like a brick wall….and suddenly it’s time to say goodbye before you ever really said hello.<<

Wow, so well said.
Yeah, it’s tough. I was a mess for days after I had to take Punkin and Shadow in……… I made the HUGE mistake of looking into Shadow’s eyes as the end came for him. I still have trouble shaking that image and it will haunt me forever.  In fact I can’t even talk more about it now without falling apart. It was very traumatic for me.

It was similar for Punkin, but I could tell by his face – his eyes, he knew – he understood and he was ok with it. Animals know when their natural end is at hand, and Punkin did. His look, his eyes said “goodbye, friend”.  But I stll feel the pain and loss after 19 years with “Punky” and 15 years with Shadow – aka Shadowbunnies. (or my name for him, blue-eyed, carpet-colored booger-baby)
OK, an explanation for that nickname – when Shadow was a kitten he was very light colored, off-white, with darker almost lilac points on ears and tail. when he curled into a ball and fell asleep on the carpet in front of the TV one day, we were looking from across the room and looked at each other and wondered – what’s that in front of the TV on the carpet? Is that a stain… then as we looked closer, what we were seeing were Shadow’s ear and tail tips, he blended in nicely with the color of the carpet. One weekend when my sons were younger, about 5 and 6 or so, during one of their weekend visits, my youngest, Jason, walked from kitchen to living room and as he crossed the hallway noticed Shadow curled up on the carpet and asked “what’s that …. oh, it’s a kitten!” as he finally realized that “spots on the carpet” was alive.  He had beautiful blue eyes, and when we first got him he had a sinus infection and runny nose. He loved to be close to us – especially our faces, and not uncommon, he’d SNEEZE. Well, I had to go clean off my glasses and wipe off my face…….. so I called him a blue-eyed, carpet-colored booger-baby.
He was pampered his whole life by his “mama”, Barbara.  I became Shadow’s Papa and my wife was Shadow’s Mama. Those two were joined at the hip, no kidding, no joke. “Shadow, you wanna go downstairs with me”? And he’d come trotting to the stairs from where-ever he had been and went downstairs with Barbara and kept close as she sewed and quilted, rarely ever letting her out of his sight.
I called him the world’s cutest kitty and he came to believe it (as I used to say “just ask him!”)
Too bad I can’t embed images here – but here’s Shadow –
http://dickerson-design.com/images/cats/Shadow.jpg

And when I went to load a quilt to be quilted onto her longarm machine, this is what Shadow did to me – and i say “to me” as I could not resist his look, so he got whatever he wanted when he posed like that and gave me “the look”….
http://dickerson-design.com/images/cats/shadow-4-25-03.jpg

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[billd]

Wow, that is too neat. Thanks for sharing that. What a neat friend you had. 12 plus 7 is STILL a long time! I mean that’s 19 years and far longer than “typical” which they used to say was 14 or 15 years.

Punkin was 19 when we had to have him put to rest. He was losing control of his back half and the poor fellow looked so scared and confused when his back legs refused to hold him up. He got up again on all 4, went up the stairs into the kitchen and when he turned to look at me, it happened again, his back legs went out from under him and the look on his face still makes me want to cry over 3 years later. He was my “bud”. I was his person. He’d wait patiently for me to finish a glass of milk, then he’d hold up a hand as if asking for the glass. I’d hold the empty glass down for him and he’d reach in and touch what little drops may be left at the bottom and pull them up and then lick his paw. When I sat down, he was on my lap. If there wasn’t room, he’d lay beside me. We always joked that he had used 8 of his 9 lives by the time he hit 19 as he’d fallen out of windows twice, tried to hang himself on a leash once, jumping over and around a picnic table then over the deck railing – of course we were right there with him, the leash was to keep him from bounding off the deck and into the woods as he was an indoor kitty with no claws (and I’ll NEVER EVER declaw another cat, period, ever.) He’d been through to many things. I can remember when he was younger and we lived in a different house, somehow he’d found a way to get above the suspended ceiling in the basement where we had a spare bedroom. I kept accusing my sons, then 6 or 7 years old, of knocking ceiling tile down. I’d put the tile back up, and a few days later, the tile were down again. I finally caught the culprit in the act – Punkin would walk the length of the house on the suspended ceiling but when it came to getting into that space in the other room, he was missing the solid spot and landing on the ceiling tile and riding the tiles down to the floor below!
But the poor fellow had developed thyroid problems in his early teens and was on medication – and we had to up that every couple of years or so as he’d once again get all fidgety and restless acting and I could feel his heart racing – time to up the dose. He was about maxed out on dosage for a cat by the time the end came.
We were told that with the thyroid issues also usually came kidney issues – if he had kidney problems they were small and not noticeable in tests and exams, and if his problems and the high doses of the thyroid meds shortened his life much – I wonder – could he have made 20? Poor Yawnie – from time to time we accidentally call him Punkin – I guess we’ll always miss my “Punky”. I gotta wait to write of Shadow – if that brings me to tears I want that to be later…..

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[billd]

I had my appointment and she prescribed 2 15mg “spanules” of the dexoamphetamine or whatever. She had intended to do that last time but got into the pill stuff instead. So she’s upped it, and 2 x 15mg capsules which are supposed to act more like the XR of adderall – slower to impact, slower to let you back down, longer acting more smooth and less up and down.

Oddly enough, while reading the papers that come with the meds from the pharmacy, I read what to not take, warnings, etc. and checked to see if Triamterene was something to be aware of with this dexoamphetamine stuff. Not specifically, however, it’s often used with a med that IS on the list of things to watch – then I started looking up the tramterene and wow – side effects can include chronic sore throat, leg cramps, sore joints….. and I have all of those. Hmmmm, I’m going to check with the ENT and see about pulling out of the triamterine for a little while and seeing of those symptoms clear up!

I checked directly with the pharmacist – and got the straight scoop on the acids interacting with the dexo and other similar meds – it’s certain citrus drinks and juices. She said the pop would have little impact as it’s mostly phosphoric acid and similar, but the citrus had more of a direct impact, and she said specifically grapefruit, but also apple and orange juice were things to watch. It’s ok, just don’t take the meds WITH those drinks or juices, or within a short time of taking the drugs.  Although a few beers will really give me a buzz – and more than just a few can totally waste me pretty fast, many drugs just don’t do much to or for me. A few have a big whammy, Strattera, for example, totally messed with my systems. I hated it – absolutely hated it! Nuvigil was similar – that drug was nasty to me. But Adderall, for example, ha, about all it does is keep me from yawning and getting sleepy during boring stuff.

And frankly, I find a LOT of stuff boring! It takes a whole lot to stimulate or excite me. Most stuff is ho-hum. It takes certain TV shows to keep my attention or i’m gone. I flit from thing to thing, project to project unless I’m REALLY into it, or really motivated. So drugs are a bit different with me – what sends some people straight to the ceiling for a while simply prevents me from being bored or falling asleep. (the life I lead would even make a dead man yawn)
I don’t think I drink as much soda – or pop, as I did when I was younger. And back then it was all regular sugared stuff. Mountain Dew was my drink of choice. I drank it with most meals and for breaks. When the boss and I went for coffee break – he had coffee, I had my dew and a donut. I was a whopping 29″ waist back then.  The Mountain Dew calmed me.
I’ve pushed on the throat thing – in fact I’m on my 4th ENT. However, when I spoke today with my prescriber lady about the impact of these drugs in various systems, how the body metabolized them, and so on, we got onto the topic of kidney function, the triamterine, diuretics and such and I could tell she wanted to ask something, and I sensed it was similar to my thoughts – and so I said “it’s been over a year since I had any tests or a physical or even ust a checkup. She wanted to have some blood and other work done to see how the drugs were being metabolized – kidney functions and all, but she almost said “yippee” when I said I’d not had anything checked for a very long time as she SO wanted to order a complete workup done, blood, urine, etc.  So once I get that done I’ll know a whole lot more. I had stress testing done about 3 years ago and it was so funny – on the treadmill it usually takes just so many minutes to get your heart up to the beats per minute they want to see in the tests. I had reached full incline, was over the normal minutes and my legs wre cramping before my heart finally reached the number of beats per minute they needed for the tests. The lab gal was sort of surprised. In the past the doctors always wanted to do my blood pressure checks in spring and fall – in the middle or planting or harvest season – just so certain I’d have high blood pressure or whatever. But as one doctor told me years ago – my heart just idles along like it’s not got all that much work to do, BP is normally in the lower end of what is considered normal, it borders at the bottom of what they like.

Anyway, I’m now trying the capsules of dexoamphetamine, 15 mg “spanules” I think they call them, 2 15 mg caps a day. They said to take both at the same time – that really surprised me! I figured one first thing, and the other just before lunch or something. When I was doing the adderall XR they prescribed 2 of those a day – but if I took those at one time, I shot up quickly and then crashed just after lunch, more tired than ever, so those got spaced 1 at 5am when I got up, and the other between 11 and noon, and that worked well, but wasn’t doing much for ADHD. I have no idea what it’s like – what that feeling is of a drug actually WORKING to help control any of ADHD – some folks say “so THIS is what it’s like”, I have no clue. Nothing so far has had much impact other than my wife says I am less likely to argue or put her off if she asked for my help – with the meds I at least say “I’m on my way” and am more helpful, otherwise, naw, no real difference that _I_ can tell anyway!  I asked all my friends if they could tell a difference, but he said not really…….  so here’s hoping we eventually find something that helps even a bit – so I can feel it, so I can tell, so I can know what it’s like, or I guess I’m the 30% it just won’t ever work for…………

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[billd]

My youngest son’s troubles are a direct result of ADHD and the comorbid stuff that often goes with it. He had it severe. We could tell when he was on meds or not, but the meds, like with so many people made him feel bad – I understand, been there, done that. He can never ever return to the states. He was so good at what he did, we’re glad he’s not a bad rotten person.  I’ll never forget when the feds came to our place. I was in my shop – a big 2 story building built to look like a barn. It’s about 250 feet from the house.  I was up in the wood shop area and my wife contacted me on the walkie-talkie and said “Bill, get up here now, there’s men parked in the driveway poking around”. I ran down the stairs and to the house only to wonder if Rod Serling was around, it really reminded me of Men in Black – the dark colored SUV in the driveway, 2 soft-spoken, guys looking all official-like, one of them did most of the talking, the other was pretty quiet, just poked around. They asked if they could come in. I refused at first – then one said “if you have nothing to hide what’s wrong with going in? Refusing makes you look like you are hiding something.” So I said – fine, come on in but my wife was in there ALONE and was scared to death with 2 men came up and were looking around and in the house. What was I to think?
So we went in, the quiet one asked if he could look around. Sure, why not – go for it. Then a REALLY STUPID comment – one asked if we lived alone – yeah, so? Then why do you have another bedroom? Duh – guest room – don’t most folks who have a 3 bedroom house keep one of them for guests, relatives, maybe parents who stop by for holiday or something? They acted like it was some sort of a weirdo thing to have a second bedroom with a BED in it! They looked around, went into the finished basement and poked around. Now keep in mind – all this poking in the house – not a single mention of the shop out back, heated, wired, finished inside. Someone could have hidden or slept out there! I even have a chair and TV out there. Not a word about the shop or the garage and they never asked to look there. I mean really – guys pull up in an SUV and poke around, someone hiding in the house isn’t going to duck out the back and sneak out to my shop – or our woods? Then they tried to find when I last spoke to my youngest son. I explained it had been a couple of years. They didn’t believe it – you mean that your own son… YUP, that’s right. They tried to convince me that if I did hear from him I was to try to convince him to return and things would be ok and easy and they just wanted to close the case and have him back and all – and I saw right through that! Come-on – INTERPOL, FBI, CIA, and it’s no big deal? I told them sorry, I could not in all honesty do that, and figured I’d never hear from him again. Why not, they asked? Because of THIS – he’s not stupid, he kn0ws you are keeping tabs on family. I then floored them – get this – it’s the best part:
I then told them matter-of-fact that I knew exactly why he did what he did. I said I didn’t agree with him, I wish he hadn’t – but I knew why he did – and I understood his actions. Well these two goofs are now totally in shock and looking at me like I am some sort of criminal to watch. I explained that “it’s his ADHD”. I then explained how in extreme cases like my son – and my own severe ADHD case, people react in certain ways to threats. He reacted based on his ADHD. I said that is the basis for his actions – ADHD out of control, severe case, no meds, he’s pressured, under all these threats and being persecuted by a law created as a knee-jerk reaction to other things and a cop out to make a point. Man you should have seen and heard these feds stutter and stammer. Then one said “this is the first we’ve heard of this – we have nothing indicating any of this ….” and acted almost as if I was making it up. I explained no, it’s a fact – ADHD of the severe type runs in the family. My mother, her father, me and now my youngest – and when it’s that bad people can do really dumb things – it’s not that they are bad people, they WANT to control it or handle things differently, it’s like knowing what’s right but being prevented from DOING what’s right by some invisible wall.

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[billd]

I spoke of gifts in the other post. That’s life – but there are others. ADHD is neither here nor there, it just “is”. We live with it – or at least try to. At least try – you can’t know what is or is not possible without first trying it – it’s easier to try than to prove it can’t be done……… I just thought that perhaps the message deep within this video may apply in this thread – which got a whole lot deeper than originally intended! But to “get it”, you have to pay close attention to detail. Pay attention to the characters, their actions, expressions, the background, buildings, events, all of it – pay close attention to the video and hear the words.
It takes somebody to help somebody – implies to me that if you help someone, you ARE someone. If you love someone, you ARE someone. The video/song comes from an album called “The Present”. it’s sort of a play on words if you know the band, but there’s a big message deep within this song and video. View, listen, and think of it through your day – and what the band is saying here.

 

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[billd]

..but if you care, don’t run away;
the freedom’s inside your head, that’s what we said……

My life is, always has been, chaos. Sometimes organized chaos, but still chaos – some days more like the Get Smart version, though.    My project list is HUGE – people are often amazed at “all the stuff you get done”, but I explain if your project or to-do list is long enough and you have 150 projects going – you are bound to finish SOMETHING, some of them, and look well accomplished. If you only ever have 1 project going on at a time, well, you had better get THAT one done or you will be looked at as never having accomplished anything! LOL – yeah, I laugh at myself. By all rights, for too many reasons, I should not even be alive, let alone able to work and do things, walk, stand, etc. – but here I am. Sort of like the Terminator……. not the energizer bunny as he’s too smooth, organized, cool, even. It may look like they dropped the big one when I’m done, but I’ll get there.

Years ago with my first wife we had a cat – Misty – beautiful calico girl. She was a sweat heart. She was an inside/outside kitty. Once she went missing – for something like 2 or 3 weeks. We were devastated. I looked high and low. We lived by a nature area, Red Rock preserve. I figured wolf, coyote, even just wild dog, hawk, anything could have happened. Then one day while feeling rather down I took a walk into the wooded area near our place and just kept calling out for her. (this was when I still had decent hearing). I thought I heard something off in the distance – I called and called, and I kept getting an occasional response – but the responses grew louder and I realized it was our little girl. She’d heard me and was coming home. She lived to be 14 and became an all-indoor kitty when Barbara and I married. Misty lived her last year with diabetes and we later found out, cancer. We found her one morning under a bed downstairs hardly able to breath, lips turning blue and rushed her to the vet. We knew of her diabetes and age and all and were ready for the end – and decided with the vet to put her to sleep (I hate that term as sleep means you can wake -but this is FINAL). He took her in his arms to do the deed – then said he couldn’t do it and instead decided he was going to try to save her (he was quite attached to our cats). But before he could get anything at all done, she died in his arms……. I think he almost cried himself. When a cat had bonded with its person or people, and you truly, really look into their eyes – you can see the love. It’s there if you look. Walt Disney once told of the muscles in a cat’s face – and their ability for expressions, and to smile. No other pet has that control over facial muscles and can literally form a smile that is intended to be just that. Ah, I gotta get off the topic of kitties – now I’m thinking of all those we have had – and lost over the years…….

Attitudes on web sites, forums, etc. Well, I can explain why some ADD sites are how they are, and why this one is a bit different. First, it’s the people of course – forum or site members are the personality of a site – however, the creator, maintainer, owner, whatever, of a site sets the original tone and keeps things up, or down, or a mix, or whatever. Think of a web forum as a living thing – it develops its own personality over time, but that personality is set into motion by the parents. Rick…….. he has helped set the tone here. Moderators control the air to keep things clean and fresh and safe and can allow things to fall apart, or keep the peace and allow that personality to grow and develop. The admin/moderators nurture that and help mold it, but it can still move one way or another with the members. Rick set the tone – his motivations were personal, and more positive because although I suspect or believe based on the very little I know about him, that he’s had a tough time or two himself, but he clawed his way through it, found a great wife and he had that personality and talent that got him through. He now seems to want to help others and share in that success. He did not HAVE to do this, I have to believe that he had adequate income with his talents and abilities, so it’s got to be a labor of love.  I was a fan of his for years before this site – starting with the vintage Red Green shows years ago. This guy is hyper – that’s ME in those short clips. Yeah, dumb moves and all, that’s ME. I could SO relate. It takes a smart fellow to write and act like that. Aside from the ADD, he’s got talent anyway, but I think he leveraged that and wants to help others do the same if possible. Now all of that is my opinion, some conjecture, some educated guesses there – and my intent is not to offend but to do quite the opposite. And if I’m wrong about any of the above, anyone can correct me and I’ll retract any or all. So this site ends up more positive than others, and in many ways, more open and diverse.
Now let’s look at my take on the OTHER places, if anyone really cares about my opinions – hey, they are free, and if you don’t like ’em, at least in Canada and the States, you have the freedom to IGNORE ME! Don’t like it – don’t read it, avoid me and my posts….Wow, I must had ADHD or something look at how I rambled and got wayy off track there – back to the other sites – there are different purposes for their existence. In some cases it’s not a personal involvement with ADD/ADHD.  It nay be medical or professional. There’s not the same direct involvement with the site creator or originator or owner as there is here, but most of all, why do people go to a doctor? Why do they go to a medical site? Because they have problems. If they had ADD that was more mild, say they could sort of control some aspects of it, or felt they weren’t having huge issues – why would they go to such a site? Like a hospital, you go there when things are really bad. You see the doctor when aspirin or Alkaseltzer just won’t cut it. You are down, depressed, angry, upset, can’t figure it out, trouble coping – you go to Google or whatever and you find ADHD sites and you go there not feeling your best. How many folks go to church and see people there who later cut you off on the street, or are generally not totally kind outside of church and complain about them being at church then acting like fools the rest of the week? What’s a church? Like a famous columnist once said – it’s not a museum for saints, it’s a hospital for sinners. I hope to see the sinners there, not the saints. Sort of like most ADD sites – who goes there? Those down, depressed, unable to deal with or cope with or handle their ADD. You find the negatives there.
Now I’m going to temper my above statements or thoughts, and some will say even contradict them – some may say “yeah, and YOU are one of the negative ones!”. OK, yeah, you got me there. But if you knew me you’d know I’m generally an UP person, life overall is fine, I’m a normally happy – often TOO happy-go-lucky, “what me worry” and so on – almost to a fault! The lady who prescribes meds for me has to keep up her logs and records before she writes each new script – and asked “any feelings of suicide” – WOW, are you kidding? Uh, that’s sort of final – you can undo a lot of things, you can later change your mind or backtrack on almost everything else – but that is, as Regis might have said “your final answer”. You can’t change your mind – you cease to exist except in the memories of others or in the deeds or acts you have done that have affected others. Holy cow, not even on a BAD day. Depressed? Well, not in the medical way – I have my days, there’s times I cry – thinking of a pet no longer with us and all the fun we had with them, their happy faces and cries when they couldn’t find us. Yeah, I have down times – but they are generally so short-  I’m talking minutes, hours at the most. I can work myself up out of those really deep times. I can change my mood just with a change in music. So why do I appear to negative when talking ADHD – ?  It’s because those who insist it’s a gift, or “you can change it” or “you can control it” or “you should not need any meds because _I_ don’t need meds” and that sort of thing drives me BONKERS! STOP IT! It’s ok or not ok based on the WHO part. WHO is it impacting? Like almost all other diseases,  the severity or lack of can be based on so MANY factors, including the overall health of the person who has it, the personality of that person, the other things they have or don’t have, how severe it is, and so on. So stop trying to convince others, especially myself, that ADHD isn’t a bad thing and can really be positive and how ADD has made my life good and is responsible for my talents. No, based on my ancestry, I’d have many of these talents ANYWAY. Some I have to admit, some parts of me that are good or positive have happened due to ADHD and my determination to not let myself be seen in certain ways. I try very hard to do excellent work (when I can  convince myself to work!) I try hard to excel – I’ve developed certain traits to overcome my perceived shortcomings. I didn’t know what it was all about until 2 or 3 years ago – I just thought I was weird, lazy and just not a great person, so I compensated, but my technical abilities I was born with. My troubleshooting abilities I was born with. My IQ – my mother, not a high school graduate even, has a very high IQ – it’s in the family. But along with the high IQ and extreme talents often go mental “illness”. Some of my heroes fit that mold. Telsa – how many viewed him as a well-balanced, stable and normal person?  We live on the edge mentally. And at times, we slip over that edge and have these, well, problems. My IQ has been tested more than once, if I recall, when I was in school and they tried to figure out what was wrong with me and why I was such a problem child, the school psychologist blamed it on my IQ – I was bored, impatient with others who were not as smart or quick, he said those with an IQ in the 13o range often had trouble with social things as there was great impatience with others who didn’t meet our expectations or standards. So I believe that I’m a mix-  some of me is a result of ADHD, some would be there anyway. The troubles, the negatives are however ADHD – don’t tell me that meds can fix it. Meds help with roughly 70% of adults, and are less likely to help later in life. So if this place has 100 members, drugs won’t be of help to 30 of us! Then of that group that drugs may help – there is a percentage who have a problem metabolizing the amphetamines! We can’t take it orally and get any positive effect!  I’m not sure which group I’m in, but so far drugs have minimal impact on my ADHD – Adderall does help with the EDS. And my diagnosis was later in life, mid-50s. The brain can more easily adapt or adjust or be trained around some of the aspect of ADHD if started early enough – so it’s multiple whammies for me – diagnosis – SEVERE ADHD, social anxiety and anyone ever heard of BPD? Look it up. Yeah, I fit that class, too. Later diagnosis, diagnosis is severe ADHD, social anxiety, and we toss in BPD. And we toss in that I”m in that percentage not quickly or easily helped by drugs. (heck I have woke up in the middle of surgery before! One time I sat up and was flirting with the nurses and saying hi to everyone. They had to quickly knock me out again.)
My mother has undiagnosed ADD – we all know it, it’s SO obvious, but in her 70s, she don’t care any more. My grandfather we all remember as a hyper fellow, died young, wore his body out. My youngest son SEVERE ADHD. And his brother says he had other issues to, we’ll just say I’ll never see him again, and if found, the CIA and feds have a big interest in him. Not too many here have family on the Interpol wanted list. So ADHD can do really BAD things, make you do bad things, make you do things without thinking and can be so severe as to totally ruin a life. Don’t tell me it’s a gift for ALL, or always a gift or can always be dealt with without meds if you only WANTED to do it. Geesh, that’s like the old teachers “he could if he wanted to” or he’s just lazy. This site doesn’t push that one us, it offers that as a possibility to be looked at or considered.  Then we have my other son – incredibly successful! He’s been with the company he works for for only 4 years – and yet is in management, and has been for about 3 years. He moved up to supervisor, leapfrogging others, in only a year. He was flown to DC to sit in on a corporate board meeting of Gannett. He is now a lead web developer with the company and his designs and ideas are their new standards after the big bosses saw his “just messing around with ideas”. Yes, he has many of the aspects of ADHD -but he would not be diagnosed as ADHD as he’s mostly got control, and he’s taken advantage of some parts of it. It’s really mild in his case, only some symptoms, but I recognize them. So my thing – why I appear so negative at times is that I’m tired of hearing how great it is to have ADHD, what a gift it is and how it can be controlled, or you have to WANT to. For some, and I’m honestly happy for them – but the attitude from those who view it so positivly and wish to push or force it onto all of the rest of us that was as if it’s a great religion or something gets me very defensive – I get into that mode of – BS, the heck it is, and try to argue the opposite. So in fact, I’m mixed. I believe ADHD is as individual as, well, the individual! It’s sort of like pain, it cripples some, others handle it without even an aspirin and still others can take ONE aspirin and get rid of it. Meds – a pill makes one person high as a kite-  and kills another, or causes heart murmers in others. ADHD is as individual as WE are. IT can be mild or severe, as in my case. IT can be alone – or with other things, as in my case, meds can help, or not help, as in my case. So please don’t try to convince me it’s a gift, its’ why I am successful, etc. You don’t know that, and no one can possibly prove that ADHD is WHY we have talents – until or unless we learn how to fully remove or cure ADHD with no other impacts, we can’t show that ADHD is the reason for any gift or talent. It’s just not possible as we grow up with it. How can one prove or demonstrate such a thing? In fact we can’t prove it either way, that it IS responsible or prove that it is NOT. Can’t be done, so stop saying it’s so!
It is what it is and that’s that. It’s personal, it’s emotional, it’s individual. There’s no use getting down over it, might as well at least TRY to live with it – the alternative isn’t very fun, and I’m all about fun!!!!!!!!!!!!! One thing I won’t do it throw away a gift – and isn’t that what life is? Isn’t life strange, to throw it away, to lose just a day, the quicksand of time………..

I close with this……..  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALTSwDgyR50

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[billd]

LOL – no one stranger than I!
Yawnie and friends – Koko, Tuvok (our sspelling) and Pickle are, well, kitties. Koko likes to snuggle on a lap in the evening. Tuvok still loves to ride around draped over my shoulder. Pickle is a regal handsome cat and he knows it…. Yawnie is a spoiled lover-boy. Like the vet said – he’s a very emotional cat. I’ve never seen such a cat – lays on my lap, and moves up slowly until his face is really close to mine then he reaches up and kisses me. I look down and talk to him and like a baby, he reaches up with his arms and holds my face while i talk to him. They get crazy sometimes and literally run as fast as they can and bounce off the walls about 1/3 of the way up to reverse direction and come running back across the house.

Major stresses at work, meds not working and having to constantly deal with that and make trips and adjustments, honestly, the ADHD stuff has gotten a lot worse with me. Age, perhaps? 57 now.  I am absolutely exhausted and there are days I wish I could just quit my job and relax for a few days and get back to what I really enjoy doing without all the STRESSES.  And it’s a big battle at work as even though they supposedly help people with disabilities, they don’t understand anything mental. If you were deaf and there was a meeting they’d obviously hire an interpreter or if you were blind, they’d make provisions with your workstation and computer. But ADHD – naw, it’s no big deal, just close your door. Well, when others keep coming in anyway, calling, or expecting you to totally change gears and answer an out of the blue question – then get right back to what you were doing as if noting happened, i want to SCREAM.   I’m so sorry – but I’m sick of idiots and stupid people and those who “don’t get it” or rather don’t WANT to. It ain’t fun, in fact it’s totally mentally and physically exhausting as hell. A normal day wears me out badly.

There are days I wish I was not very smart and only mediocre at what I do – then I’d not have a steady stream of people popping in or relying on me to solve the problems at work. Unfortunately, I’ve fixed too many things that others weren’t able to fix and found and taken care of problem others did’t know existed and done troubleshooting beyond anything anyone else has ever done in that agency, so now I’ve got twice as much to do and am pulled 100 different directions. Retirement can’t come fast enough!

I guess that as far as “here” goes, things got a bit complex. I’m not going to diss this site – it’s still my preference of any ADHD site, and the people behind it have all the right reasons and motivations. But I have an “aversion” to too many things happening on a screen or site, complexity and ads. I know – it takes money to run such a place. It takes MONEY if you want real actual professionals to be involved at all. I know and see and understand the reasons. I do understand. our own forum is all volunteer as far as moderators, and ME, the system administrator and web master, and the expenses are taken care of by volunteer donations. OK, so it’s a lot cheaper to operate than this site, for sure. But we get enough donations to cover expenses, and the rest of us do it out of love for our hobby and wanting to see it continue forward into the next generations.  I had to sort of wonder if there was a connection when  at about the same time my email started getting a lot of ads related to ADHD solutions and products – suddenly I find all of these wonderful “natural cures” or aids or “green” meds and herbs that could help. I get so much spam as it is that I didn’t need MORE ads in my email – 1000 spam messages in just over a week is a bit much. Probably coincidence, really.
I normally avoid web sites with advertising beyond just one or two, I totally avoid places with highlighted and linked key words where if your mouse moves over certain words suddenly a box pops up with an ad related to that word. I don’t need more distractions and those are not only distracting, but they hide the content I’m often in a hurry to read or access! so anything that slows me down from getting to what I want or need turns me away really fast. I move fast, quickly, hyper-drive in all I do, so I breeze in to a site, glean what I need and move on to the next tab – and pop-ups, key word links and ads and so on slow me down like a road block or hurdle to get past. My solution – avoid them. Subtle ads to the side, non-distracting, nothing that blocks content or squeezes content into the less good real estate of the screen. I love intuitive – and it took me 3 or 4 minutes to find where to change my email for my account here today. I found I could not even access that part from the forum area – as if the forum is a distinct area separate from the rest of the site. i could access me forum preferences, but not my actual site account info from here.  I guess it’s because the forums are one thing, the site another, blogs and other certain things are still different-  I see wordpress involved with makes me nervous after the security issues i’ve seen with that “service” over the years. So I guess I get lost here – and until I get acclimated or used to things and know where to find things, it will be when I have more time to figure things out or where they are or how they work. Maybe it’s the Canadian part – things arranged differently than expected in the states LOL.

Sorry, I”m just a bit out of sorts lately – more disorganized that usual, more irritable than normal, and generally stressed and bugged that meds are driving me nuts and not really helping anything now. It’s worse because of where I live. There’s no one here that knows squat about the REAL ADHD or treatment. We have limited medical care here just in general. I found the neuro-psychologist who did the most recent diagnosis and gave me a lot more detail and all – called it “severe ADHD and social anxiety” but don’t think about coaches or help or people who know about meds used for ADHD. When you mention ADHD or ADD here, you get people who say “yeah, I know a kid who had that, Riteral took care of it though so that’s all you need”. they are experts and know all about it because they’ve heard of kids having it and all the urban legend associated with childhood ADD. It’s the exact same thing, right? The exact same symptoms and treatment, right? Well, that’s the extent of knowledge and treatment in Iowa. We have trouble finding normal household items here. It’s small-town USA, the sticks, no major stores, little choices for Christmas shopping – don’t expect great medical care if you have a mental issue. Geesh, they even screwed up my hand and fingers when I got into the table saw years ago – it wasn’t even a doctor who sewed me up, and then they never mentioned this little thing called physical therapy, and they totally missed the severed tendon inside until it was too late. The doctor said “quit your b#$%” when I complained about the pain as he removed stitches, only to find out a week later from a nurse cousin that he’d messed a couple of stitches still buried in my finger! And ya expect anyone here to be able to treat ADHD?

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[billd]

There’s no way I could work with coaching not in person. I need that face-to-face for some things. For others, email or Internet is actually better, but for others, it just won’t cut it. but then supposedly I’m on the “severe” end of things, i’m that percentage where meds don’t do much and although I keep trying, I expect to just live out life this way the best I can. My grandfather lived life in fast-forward, dies when he was roughly my age and the docs said he had the body of an 80 year old at the time. His lungs were shot. He had been a tenant farmer and farm hand for years, and was a heavy smoker – rolled his own. He was fellow of slight build and always moving and doing. My youngest son has ADHD so bad it’s totally destroyed his life (assuming he’s still alive, none of us have heard from him for a couple of years now and it may be because we’re being watched…….  My mother has ADHD, suffered depression so bad she was hospitalized multiple times, anxiety, etc. on the other side of my family -my father’s side, a great great great grandfather is said in one of the Ohio history books to have “worked himself to death”.   Diagnosed with severe ADHD and social anxiety, at least now I KNOW – which to me is a HUGE thing. Whether or not any “treatment” is successful to any degree is second to knowing the CAUSE of me being totally weird and worthless and lazy.  😉  Writing things down can be a big help – you release tension and energy, get your thoughts organized, put things where you can SEE them and not just “think them”. I often write long “rants” and then simply delete them, but I sure feel better! I list things – and even if half never get done – heck, I took the time to think of them and DID get half of them done, which is twice as good as it would have been had I not written anything down. Be patient with yourself-  yeah, you have some control, and you are ultimately responsible for yourself – but don’t be too hard on yourself – unless you sit back and believe that there’s nothing at all you can do……….. One step at a time. This is a huge deal, it’s a big impact on our lives. You can’t fix it all or fix it fast or finish everything on your lists all at once, and even those with NO traces of ADD or ADHD can’t accomplish it all! Most of all – friends and family. like one of the advice columnists said years ago, no one ever lay on their deathbed regretting not having spent more time at work……..

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[billd]

@dithl – my team leader, our network admin, has a computer with 4 monitors arranged on a bracket 2 rows of 2, and another computer he’s at most of the time with 2 monitors. I use 3 computers, 2 of them have 2 monitors. My browser on each typically has between 15 and 30 tabs.
I am fascinated by law, and especially the history of our legal system, among the best in the world no matter what the jokes imply. Having severe ADHD, and having done basic work in business law, dealing with copyrights, etc. and my intense interest in the topic, and having worked with various lawyers over the years (divorce, estate, business and now civil rights), I can truly empathize – understand what anyone in the profession must deal with when they also have ADD/ADHD.
Being a non-attorney myself, I know I have little right to, and little basis for putting forth opinions on the topic, but I do know ADHD, and I do know that solid records and organization are key to such professions.
That being said – I’d say again I’d be happy to hire an attorney with ADHD who also knew their stuff.
In my own case, my battle with employer over ADA and ADAAA and civil rights, it’s going to take a lawyer who can understand what ADHD is like, who knows disability in general and who really cares – and who ignores the nay-sayers who say we seldom have a chance. I think that’s only because we as a group- those with ADHD, seldom try and seldom have good backing and legal help.
I’ve tried and tried to find someone who can advise and is willing to help when my case finally makes it through the ICRC and EEOC if I am granted the “right to sue” letter. No luck so far………….. supposedly this is very winnable, even other attorneys have said so – the “online type” who give suggestions or guide you in the right direction (being careful to note it’s not really legal “advice”). I spoke with an administrative law judge who loved my writing, and write-ups of my case or situation, and said I was following the right path and he personally believed I was right, but legally I could do nothing against the union for failing to help or take action, refusing to “get involved” even though employer even violated contract provisions. Laws were against me there, but for me on the rest of it.
So if anyone knows any central Iowa attorneys 😉

Anyway, go for it, we need good attorneys anyway, and if those with ADHD can help each other and become even better, please do it.
There’s too few and most of those I know are what I consider to be “over-worked”.

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