[blackdog]

I agree.  You have to look at the source of the information. And you have to check more than one source.

There are always some concerns with any medication. And many of the ones used to treat ADHD are narcotics so addiction is a possibility with long term use. I wouldn’t say that they are highly addictive, but I don’t have a lot of experience with them. Others could offer a more informed opinion.

As with anything, you have to weigh the risks vs. the benefits. And remember each individual reacts differently. I have never developed an addiction to anything despite my best efforts to do so.  But some people become addicted very easily. Your family history can give you some insight there, since genetics often plays a role in addiction.

Just research all of your options and discuss it with your husband and see if you can reach a consensus on the issue. If not, then there are non-medicinal methods of dealing with ADHD that may help your children, and yourself.  Just don’t give up. 🙂

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[blackdog]

Very good function to have. Thanks for the tip. 🙂

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[blackdog]

Whew! Okay, scrolled down to the end, can see I’m almost there. Just a little more…..No! There’s another page! 🙁 Okay….deep breath…..I can do it….

Made it! And it only took an hour and a half.  Brain hurts a little though. Need to get some coffee before I continue….

Now it’s bed time (got distracted) so gonna have to keep this short. And I have completely forgotten what I was originally going to say.

@Evelyn – You really struck a chord with me. I know exactly how you feel. I have been trying to get it across to my doctor and my therapist for months now. I have a therapist something like yours. He just doesn’t get me at all. Every time I try to tell him about how overwhelmed I am and how I just can’t get enough done in a day he treats it like it’s a “negative cognition” and tries to turn it into a “positive cognition”. I just can’t get him to understand that I’m serious. It’s not that I think I’m overwhelmed, I am overwhelmed. It’s not that I think I can’t get enough done in a day, it’s that I really can’t.

Sitting around like a bump is what I do best. And I never even know how much I have in the bank or how much is going out. My filing system is very similar to yours too. Bags, boxes, baskets, a pile on the coffee table….and a few actual file folders, some of which are actually in the filing cabinet. I have important things to do that I have literally been putting off for years. Like my income tax.

I just lost my job and I can’t even think about getting another one right now. Not until I get some semblance of order in my life. It puts us in a bad situation financially but it can’t be helped. It won’t really be that much different since I haven’t managed to work more than 20 hours a week for the last year anyway. The really scary thing is that I might fail again. I might not be able to get the house cleaned up and organized and take care of all the stuff that needs to be done. I might have to go back to work before I’m ready and end up starting the whole vicious cycle over.

I’m starting to “what if” again. Gotta slow down and take it one day at a time and stop trying to predict everything. I also live in my head too much. And I get too far ahead of myself. I think something is a done deal before I’ve even started.

And I really need to sleep now. Hope everything is going well for you and you are feeling a little less confused and overwhelmed now.

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[blackdog]

@kc5jck– I don’t mean weird in a bad way. Sorry if you were offended by it. Weird is good. Weird is interesting, witty, smart, unique, not just another robot wearing the latest fashions and spouting all the latest gossip. Weird is my kind of people. 🙂

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[blackdog]

Hiya @moses, welcome to TADD. 🙂

I’m pretty new here myself. One thing you don’t need to worry about here is saying to much or being too random or weird. Trust me, just be yourself and you’ll fit in just fine. Everyone will understand because we’re all just as weird. 😉

I was just thinking some of the same things you said earlier this morning. That no one wants to be friends with me because I’m too boring. That I don’t really need friends because I can entertain myself to no end. But it does get lonely at times. The problem is, I’m the life of the party when I’m alone.  But put me in a room full of people and you get instant wallflower. And I know what you mean about the constant explaining. What’s worse is when they don’t give you a chance to explain and just get all offended and stop talking to you.

I also have one good friend from high school who doesn’t talk to me much any more. He lives in another city now and another income bracket, which is the real problem. He’s busy travelling around the world while I’m stuck here in my boring little work-a-day life. We just don’t have anything to say to each other any more. But I can count on him for support when I really need it. If he is somewhere in North America at the time.

@jojosephine– Glad to hear your night out alone went so well. Sometimes it is nice to just spend a little time by yourself. I know what you mean about the reading. I try to read when I’m on the bus or having a coffee and I’m lucky if I make it through 2 or 3 pages. Just too much going on around me. Plus on the bus there is the risk of missing my stop and ending up miles out of my way if I do get focused on what I’m reading.

I never had lasting friendships when I was younger. But it was mostly because I would make friends with the new girl at school in September and then after a few weeks she would realize that I was unpopular and stop being friends with me so she could join the in crowd.

The lack of support groups might have something to do with the social awkwardness. The percentage of adults with ADHD is fairly low I think and most of them probably don’t know that they do have it. Or don’t believe it. Or just don’t look for help.

I fall into that last category. I have n known for nearly 20 years that I have ADD but I never really talked about it or tried to do anything about it. I just figured “someday” I would find the right job, get the house cleaned up, get organized……etc. I have also had some very severe episodes of depression where I really had no awareness of what was going on around me and didn’t care. It wasn’t until I made a really good friend online who also has Major Depressive Disorder and really bad ADHD that I started to connect the dots and see the ADD  in everything I do. I get why I have such a hard time getting along with people now and why I’m always late for work and can’t function for at least two hours after I wake up.

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[blackdog]

@BlueYugo, you can put my poster up next to yours. I have been alone in a crowd since the day I was born. I’m even alone when I’m with my own family.

My advice is don’t let history repeat itself. If there are coworkers you really want to stay friends with then keep in touch with them. Don’t wait for them to call you. And don’t stop calling them, unless you get a really negative vibe from them. Remember that they might feel the same way and think that you don’t want to hear from them.

And if they do drop you like a ton of bricks then remember it’s their loss. They have lost a good friend and all you have lost is some people who called you as a last resort.

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[blackdog]

It is a bit different from other forums I have used. Usually there is more than one page in each thread but all the threads I’ve seen so far here are all on one page. Personally, I prefer a bit more colour. I  find black on white a little hard to read sometimes. Colours help me to concentrate. Not that I’m complaining.

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[blackdog]

SQUIRREL!

 

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[blackdog]

Oh I like this. There is a thread like this on another site I use frequently that is just totally random nonsense that was created for the same purpose.

We certainly have been lucky in Ontario this year. The weather here has been so mild compared to other parts of the world. It seems like it gets harder and harder to predict every year though. I don’t know how many times this summer I heard the forecasters say they weren’t really sure what was going to happen.

I’m not sure what season is my favourite. Never really been able to pick one. But I think it might be autumn.  I love the colours and the way the leaves crunch when you step on them. And the smell of woodsmoke in the air from fireplaces. I wish I had a wood burning fireplace. Of course they are a lot of work, with the cleaning and hauling wood in from outside. But I do love the way a real fire looks, sounds and smells. Nothing else like it. I used to love the bonfires that we built at the cottage when we were kids. It was so peaceful just sitting there and watching the flames and listening to the crackle and pop of the logs as they slowly burned down to glowing embers, mixed with the sounds of the bullfrogs and the crickets.

And now I’m going to be late for work because I broke my “no forums before work” rule, again. But since I only have three shifts left I don’t really care anymore. Except that today is my last shift without anyone around to get in my face and annoy me so I really want to get there as early as possible and enjoy it. Take a little time to reminisce (is that spelled right?) and say goodbye to the old place, close this chapter and move on.

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[blackdog]

Oh, I never believed the old “devil made me do it” nonsense. Regardless of religious beliefs, we all have complete control over our actions……

Well, okay, maybe not complete control. And some of us maybe have less control than others.

 

So, anyway, getting back on topic, interesting stuff guys. Thanks for the links (which I will actually try after I am finished commenting in them). And I like the disclaimer: “he’s a little on the slow side but if you stick with it it’s good” Thanks for the warning @scattybird. 😉

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[blackdog]

@dithl– I actually typed several versions of that post before hitting submit, each with different ideas. But the only one I could think of that might actually work was the avoidance.  Some sort of reward system might be a good idea. Like after half an hour of Internet time if you stop you get a treat of some sort, whether it’s tequila and kit kat or a gold star or ……anything but surgically implanting an iPhone in your cat.  Don’t go there.

I am amazed that you manage to limit your snoozes to 3. And you might be on to something there. If the rule is important to someone else you find it easier to stick to. So making limiting your Internet time a rule to allow you to spend more time with your kids, for example, might be a strong motivator for you.

Interesting that you mention those of us who are too busy trying to figure out what we want to say until it’s too late. You wouldn’t believe the amount of time that costs me. Well, maybe you would. I once made myself late for work because I was replying to someone in a forum and spent half an hour composing and editing and composing again without even realizing it. Which led to a new rule: No forums before work.

@waderquest- Good call having your friends look out for you like that. It’s very easy to lose control and not know it yourself.

Strangely, I have never had any addiction issues. Don’t know how I dogged that bullet. But extreme social isolation combined with lack of resources probably helped.

 

And now it’s time for bed….just have to turn the iPad off….really am very sleepy now…maybe I’ll just read a few other threads first……

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[blackdog]

 

Yep, friends are a lot of work. I used to have one that would complain constantly that she was always the one to call me, that I never called her. I tried to explain that I just wouldn’t remember to call her and it didn’t mean I didn’t want to be friends. She just didn’t get it.

@dithl– Very funny. Cats are better conversationalists but dogs are better listeners.

@jojosephine– Google “ADHD support groups (your city)” and see what you come up with. It’s how I found TADD. Unfortunately did not find any support groups in my area, except one for parents of children with ADHD. But there are groups out there and you may be able to find one near you.

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[blackdog]

Only 3 hours?

I recently started using the timer trick on the advice of a friend. It helps to keep me stay focused when I am doing things like housework. Just knowing that I am going to spend 10 minutes washing dishes, then 10 minutes cleaning the counters and stove, then 10 minutes cleaning the fridge, etc., helps me to not feel too bogged down and start wanting to take a break. Because once I sit down to take a break, and I pick up the iPad, just to check my email…..that’s the end of the housework for the day. And setting the timer to limit my time online does not work. Not at all.

The only real advice I can think of is stay away from the Internet until you have done everything else you need to do for the day.

 

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[blackdog]

My therapist thinks I need to go out and make some friends. My “homework” one week was to Google social activities in my area. I started to and then just sat and stared at a blank screen for several minutes. I couldn’t think of one thing that I actually wanted to look up. I told him I’m fine with my online friends. I like communicating through forums and email. I find it easier when I have time to collect my thoughts. And to edit them.  Plus I can have interesting conversations like this that you wouldn’t normally have in the real world.

So the answer to the question is yes, I have friends, but none that I have actually met face to face.

It will feel weird going out by yourself at first. But you will get used to it. A few years ago I got sick of missing movies that I wanted to see all the time because I had no one to go with. So I started going alone.  The first time I was so self conscious I felt like everyone in the theatre was staring at me. But the second time I just relaxed and had a great time. Plus, when I’m by myself, there is no one to complain if I fidget too much or go to the washroom too many times or whatever. And the “chatterbox in my head” always agrees with my comments about the movie.

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[blackdog]

You are NOT an imposter. It is very common to have that feeling. I doubt myself all the time. But then I come here and read something that is just oh so me and my doubts disappear.

One of the best indicators of whether you have ADD is how others see you because they are more likely to see the traits than you are. And the fact that you are responding well to the medication is another good indicator.

It is a common misconception that people with ADHD can’t do well in school. And it couldn’t be further from the truth.  In fact, people with ADHD tend to be very intelligent and though many do struggle in school others are able to compensate, like you did.

I have a friend with very severe ADHD who graduated both high school and college at the top of her class and won a ton of academic awards.

I only got mediocre grades myself (70-90%) and struggled with always being late turning in my assignments, or forgetting that I had an assignment,  not being able to retain things and having to learn them over, or my attention wandering in the middle of class and missing it altogether. I almost never read the books I was supposed to read (boring!) and never studied for tests (even more boring!). But I graduated and could have gone on to university if it hadn’t been for other factors that got in the way.

So, if the shoe fits, then wear it ( if you can remember where you put it.)

 

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