[lailamoon786]

Thanks, Larynxa!  It sounds like our parents would be good friends because they have the same philosophy. 🙂  I, too, have been very, very fortunate to have their unconditional love and support.

Anytime someone asks me “Don’t you want to give your parents grandchildren?”, I always respond with “The only reason anyone wants grandchildren is for revenge – so their children can suffer the way they suffered!”.  LOL!!!  😀

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[lailamoon786]

Hi Cassatt!  Yes, I have and even contacted one, but no response yet.  I find many have really high rates so I’m hoping to find one that’s willing to do some pro-bono work.  I’m also reviewing some of the videos/webinars on this site, and checking other ADD sites.

Are there other resources that folks have found helpful when it comes to developing a plan, sticking to it, and meeting timelines/deadlines? 🙂

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[lailamoon786]

Thanks, ramblinon!  You bring up some great points.  I’m so happy you have a marriage built on love, respect, kindness, trust and fun!  If I were to ever take the plunge, I wouldn’t settle for anything less.  🙂

 

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[lailamoon786]

Blackdog, thank you so much for sharing!  Since my diagnosis a few months back, I’ve had my share of ups and downs.  I’ve been going through a grieving process:  Why did it take sooooo long to figure this out?!?  I want my time back – I’ve been robbed!

Man, I was feeling low!  Demoralized, deprived, depressed.  I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it (I didn’t think non-ADDers would understand anyway), but I read somewhere that it’s important for ADHDers/ADDers to remember the good things and aaaaaallllllll those times we’ve been resilient.  This could be done through a:

– Gratitude Journal.  For those of us who need to get things out of our heads and onto paper, a Gratitude Journal is a way to remind ourselves of the good things in our lives.  It’s suggested that we write in the journal before going to bed.  As Seabassd noted, we move forward but sometimes it’s hard for us to see this – by writing things down, it helps us to see for ourselves the progress we’ve made.  Blackdog, since you express yourself by writing – and you’re a good writer, by the way 🙂 – maybe this is something right up your alley?

Another thing I’m trying to do these days is to reach out more (not an easy thing for me to do!).  I’ve taken a step towards finding a:

– ADHD/ADD Coach.  I’ve checked out the Coaches link on this website and have sent a few e-mails to find a coach.  There are even some coaches-in-training that are willing to do this pro-bono!

I’m also keeping my eyes open for online ADD resources.  Recently, I came across:

– ADD Audio Library (http://www.addaudiolibrary.com).  They have tons of podcasts and webinars, including one on “Getting a Good’s Night Sleep Despite Your ADD”.

Blackdog, please know that you’re not alone.  We’re all in this together.  Thank you for your courage in posting.  It truly makes a difference!

Laila xo

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[lailamoon786]

Rick, that is profound:  changing my question/perspective to “How can I build new habits and change my patterns so that I can move towards my goals faster.” THAT is the shift I have to make!  I have to stop wallowing and start building.  I’m going to write this down on a Post-It and smack it on my front door so that before I leave every morning and after I come home every night, I will have this as a reminder.  Thank you!  Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to put your name on the Post-It so you get full credit. 😉

Blackdog, it’s NEVER too late!!!  Betty White just celebrated her 93rd birthday and she’s working hard, doing what she loves and enjoying life (acting and taking care of animals).  While my friend was in NY studying for her PhD, her mom was in Hawaii at age 52 studying for HER PhD.  How awesome is that?!?  Now, I have no idea if either have ADHD/ADD – but I do know they inspire me.  They’ve obviously built good habits and found that drive/passion to move towards their goals.  Well guess what, Blackdog – it’s OUR turn!  With the help of TotallyADD.com and this awesome community, let’s shift our perspective, build good habits, channel the positives of our ADHD/ADD and conquer the world – muah ha ha ha!!! 😀

 

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[lailamoon786]

You hit the nail(s) on the head, Rick!  Your suggestions are much better than what I’ve had planned lately:  throwin’ my TV out the window!  I’m in a high-rise, soooo not a good idea – car horns blaring, glass everywhere – it would’t be pretty!  :p

 

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[lailamoon786]

Update on Operation:  Commercial Break

So check this out:  Since my last post, I tried my “commercial break” hypothesis, where I’d tackle something on my To Do list at each commercial.  In less than 1.5 hours, here’s what I was able to check off the list:

– Cleared my desk and took the plastic wrappings off my text book (I’m doing some online courses while working full time).

– Emptied the dishwasher.

– Emptied the kitchen sink of dirty dishes, loaded the dishwasher (had to scrub a few dishes first), and cleaned the sink.

– Cleared the counter of recyclables and placed them by the front entrance so I can take them down to the recycling bin tomorrow morning on my way to work.

Holy moly and Hallelujah!  I honestly thought it would take a LOT longer to do the above, but like I said, it was less than 1.5 hours.  This INCLUDED having my TV time and playing some online Scrabble (I have 5 games going on at once – I know, crazy!).  I felt relaxed while doing all of this, instead of my usual grumpiness and feeling of “heaviness” from the weight of having to do these mundane (yet totally necessary) tasks.  I think it’s because I interspersed fun stuff (TV and Scrabble), which took some of the pressure off.  Basically, I could have my cake and eat it, too – YUM! 🙂

Now, I just hope I can sustain this!  I do have a tendency of getting a bit excited when something works, so I’m going to take this in stride … right after I do a teensy weensy happy dance.  😀

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[lailamoon786]

OK, so I’m going to try something.  I keep blaming the TV for keeping me from being productive.  Well, instead of fighting AGAINST it, I’m going to work WITH it!

For example, I’ve learnt that as an ADDer, it’s important to break tasks down into smaller chunks to keep from getting overwhelmed.  Well, each TV program has small chunks of time in the form of commercial breaks, right?  So, I’m going to try using these commercial breaks to tackle my tasks / To Do list.  HA, take that, TV Addiction!  😀

Sounds simplistic, and a little silly?  Maybe.  But right now, I need simplistic – and I can definitely use a bit of silliness, too.  😉

Please send me your positive vibes and wish me luck!  xo

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[lailamoon786]

You’re right, Rick – I’ve noticed that when I work non-linearly way, I get things done.  Duh, why do I keep forgetting this!?!  Ugh!

Time for me to stop fixating on trying to get that one darn thing off my To Do list (which keeps me “stuck” and unproductive), and start looking at it as a whole.  Gonna multi-task MY way – my ADD/ADHD way!  🙂

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[lailamoon786]

Thanks, Scattybird!  You’re right, I’m focusing too much on the wallowing – and I don’t like seeing this side of myself!  I’m usually a go-getter, or at least a calm “go-relaxer” 😉 – but until now, I didn’t see myself as a wallower.  Blah!

I’m really hoping I can find an ADD/ADHD Coach – I think it’s the only way I’ll break through my “wallow wall” (fingers crossed!!!).

I’ll check out the books you recommended.  I’ve heard of ‘Eat that Frog’.  I’m currently reading ‘FAST MINDS – How to Thrive if You Have ADHD (Or Think You Might Have)’ by Dr. Craig Surman and Dr. Tim Bilkey.  The FAST MINDS acronym stands for:

F – Forgetful,
A – Achieving below potential,
S – Stuck in a rut
T – Time challenged

M – Motivationally challenged
I – Impulsive
N – Novelty seeking
D – Distractible
S – Scattered

I think I saw a forum here where we can post/share these resources, right?  I’ll post the FAST MINDS book title there, as well.  🙂

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[lailamoon786]

Scattybird, you must be a mind reader!  WOW!  😀

Pretty much everything you said applies to my life EXACTLY:  the need to be financially independent, the issue of a spouse potentially keeping me from reaching my full potential (based on experiences with guys I’ve met and their expectations of marriage – STIFLING!), and where work is currently treating us as “resources” instead of people these days.  Ugh!!!

I’m blessed to have very supportive family and friends.  Yet I find it fascinating that even though they see for themselves how much I enjoy my independent life, they keep trying, trying, trying to convince me to get married.  Really!?!  Why???  Growing up, my friends dreamt of their weddings and had names picked out for their then-non-existent children – in the mean time, I dreamt of a fulfilling career, travelling, etc.  So far, things are working out well.  It’s not perfect, and my newly-diagnosed ADD has been an unforeseen complication, but I’m still enjoying this journey.  🙂

You’re right, companionship may not be so bad if I did miraculously meet someone who supported me in my hopes and dreams (as I would support him).  I find it mind-boggling that the guys I’ve met expect me to drop my life and simply fold into theirs – more like a marriage of subservience instead of a partnership.  Yeesh!  No way!!! :p

Thank you again, Scattybird.  It helps to know it’s not just me.  🙂

For you married ADDers, what has made your relationships work?  What are the challenges (whether married to an ADDer or a non-ADDer)?

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