[Louie007]

@Tiddler – Dude that is so totally me. I get super excited about something and I can totally forget it an hour later. Then the most obscure thing I will remember. But I don’t get to chose what it is. I remember very little from when I was a kid. My mom will say do you remember this or that and gets a bit frustrated with me because I can’t.

@Robert – yeah more than enough time.

@Nellie – thanks for the links. I will look them over when I have a minute and my attention span is more than a minute.

@ shutterbug55 – I am very much like you. I need order and I can put things just anywhere. It has to have its place. I do like to work on my house and I have wasted hundreds of hours looking for tools etc that I put down somewhere.

I will have to try some of those technique. Maybe something will help.

It helps make one feel better that you are not alone in this but at the end of the day I/we have to live with it. When I fail a exam level my boss doesn’t give a shit that 1/3 of the class failed he is just upset that I did.

I have 15 tabs open at this very moment. Lord help me ADD is a challenge. I really haven’t found the upside of this disorder but I am hopeful I will.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to write your thoughts, I really appreciate it.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

So I started this post a year ago. Time flies. I haven’t been here for a while. Like I forget to check it out. Another gift of ADD. So I am still in my same job. I am feeling very low tonight as I found out I failed an exam today for the second time to get my next level at work. Its one of those exams that our whole mark is based on the exam. I feel like such a loser. Both my co-works took it and passed both levels with 80’s. I took my first level 3 times to just barely pass and now the second level 2 times and I will have to take it again.

It is just incredibly stressful. Forcing myself to study. I actually thought I did well this last time only to find out I suck even when I try my hardest. I am mid 40’s, little transferable skills. I have applied for several jobs in the last year, nobody wants me. This just keeps getting worse. I don’t have a very understanding boss. He is very selfish and self-centered so doesn’t give a shit about my problems.

Ironically he is sick right now so he needs me but I am very worried about my future. I started my family late in life so I still have kids to support, I can’t just go out and take a minimum wage job. It’s just not enough. I too feel like I am backed into a corner.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

@ JimC. from what I gather many ADDers like being in sales. Are you selling the wrong thing, something you dont believe in or are you just unhappy in sales. I keep asking myself if I should go into sales but I sold cars for a couple of years and it wasnt a great experience so I dont know if I dont like sales, or if it was just car sales I didn’t like. (The dealership I worked for wasnt helping me very much to succeed, which is not uncommon for car dealers as it can be a shadely business)

@ Tinkywink, I have been think about that as an option. We have a big insurance company about 25 miles from me so it is a possibility.

A few people mentioned to not be scare to take a risk and that is something I have not been good at. Lifetime of telling myself I suck and feeling I have failed at soooooo many things I am totally gun shy to step out of my comfort zone.

I want to thank all the people that gave their input. I took a break over Christmas and haven’t really checked here. I still not sure what I should be doing but it is humbling to here how many people are looking for work and how lucky many of us are that we have a job. It sounds like in many cases pretty good jobs. I still feel like I should be doing something that matches my personality better. To a certain degree that transcends ADD or ADHD. I think it would be safe to say most successful people are in jobs that suit them.

For me the big thing is knowing about my ADD is helping not just jump to something else which was kind of what I have done in the past. I would need something different and just kind of take what made sense based on my previous experience. Now I am looking at different jobs and really paying attention to what the position entails. Doing some research on some of them has helped a lot to find out what are the key parts of the job. Some sound interesting but when I do some research I find with some that the part I am excited about or think I would be good at that is a very small part of the job.

I hope more people will continue to post as I have gotten some good leads so to speak from this and it has helped knowing I am not alone in my quest.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

I am an alcoholic and have been sober for almost 21 years. I didnt know about my ADD at the time but it all makes sense when I found out. I think it would have helped me in my recovery but i dont think it would have changed the fact that i’m a drunk. In my experience and what research I have done it seems common that we get two for ones or three for ones. If we have one thing wrong with us we usually have at least one more.

In my opinion, just my opinion we need to be careful about anything we put in our body. It would seem that we have very sensitive chemical balances and we need to not put them out of whack. It would seem that self medication is popular in our circle so we just naturally increase our odds of becoming addicted. For some normal people they dont drink to excess because there is no side benefit. They feel good and if they drink too much they are hung over the next day. For me it was wow I am on to something here. It gave me self confidence, mellowed me out etc.

the 12 steps put my life back together and I dont think i would have even discovered my ADD if i was still drinking. Addiction is very common for us just some people gravitate to sometimes less obvious addictions sex, gambling and some gravitate to more socially acceptable ones like being workaholics.

Also it is important to note that if you are using anything that gets you high (boozes, drugs) or sex, porn, gambling you truly are making your doctors job almost impossible as he has no idea what is or isnt working for you as they is a not a controlled environment because we are changing chemical inputs into the body. In other words the dr can ask how u are doing and u say i have been on top of the world this week and he thinks hey this meds are working, he didnt know you have been smoking pot every night. that kind of stuff changes things.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

Hey Rufina thanks for the suppose, I had a bad day yesterday and today is better. I am being treated with varying results.

I would like to response to zsazsa. I dont know for sure that my ADD was want is holding me back. I do have other conditions that play into this. My original post was I feel stuck and screwed. I dont want to retype it but it is at the top if you want to read it.

To a certain degree I agree with you but “put in a little more effort” might be belittling our condition a bit. For example someone who has ADHD is told to just sit still is like telling someone else if you try a little harder you might be able to get over this whole need to breathe thing. There is things we can not do. That holds truth for everyone, not just someone with ADD.

I have friends that have done several different jobs it completely different fields and have done very well in all of them. I have friends that really dont give a shit what they are doing for a living just “show me the money”. they do whatever pays the best, period. Thats not me.

For example the greatest basketball player ever was Michael Jordan. you dont even have to have ever watched a game and everyone know he is the best. He tried baseball for a season but he was no Michael Jordan. He tried it for his late father who always wanted him to be a baseball player. I feel like that, I could be a really good player, maybe the best, I’m just in the wrong game. Bo Jackson was a professional football and a professional baseball player at the same time. Thats rare. Even “Bo knows” he really couldnt do everything. I have basically stayed in the same kind of jobs because years ago I didnt know any better and my dad said get an office job with security. Which is iconic as he is probably ADHD and had jobs his whole life that played well into that.

You are totally right about the defeatist attitude. I know that in my head but having failed at so many things it truly is hard to have the self confidence to just do it and tell myself that I really do have skills when i have struggled with so many jobs. What I need to do is find something that plays to my strengths and that has very little paperwork, which I really dislike and have somehow kept taking jobs that are 80% paperwork. This is one of the reasons I posted this in the first place. I dont know what that is. I dont know what I want to do for a living.

So what am i saying, some days it sucks. thats it. I have been in the same job for 7 years so yeah i can work a little harder, I even just passed an upgrading course that 35% of the people failed but I just barely passed and it was incredibly painful studying, especially something I find really boring. The hard part is i feel trapped, it is hard to make a change at my age. Even people who say do what you love and the money will follow must have been 18. I have bills and a family and payments that reflect my current income. It would be to say the least a hardship to drop down income brackets.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

Thanks everyone for your replies. It is some consolation that i am not alone. First I have to say I feel like a totally loser that I said suck and screwed when I meant to say struck and screwed. Wow, its almost fun if it wasnt so sad! My wife always tells me to slow down. She means well but if i could do that i wouldnt be here in the first place!

I am feeling very depressed today. We had our christmas party last night and we got our annual raises. I am kind of pissed cause I worked my ass off passing an upgrading course (which I failed twice before) and my co-works got better raises than me. One has been there less time than me. I am trying to be grateful that i have a job and can afford presents for the kids but I just cant let go of think I suck! I got a crappy raise last year because I didnt pass this course now i did so i thought hey this year s/b better. wasnt. It was so incredibly hard to study for this thing in the first place, my boss gave me such a hard time about it and i pass and get was less than everyone else. it was just a kick in the balls.

I keep telling myself how bad it could be as i have lost jobs before because of my ADD but I just feel shit on. It is so hard having self confidence when you have sucked at soooooo many things over my working career. I am just not feeling very good about myself and i ask why me. why do i have to have this because i not seeing any upside here. oh how i wish i could find a job i was good at and fit my ADD.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

Hey Hypeman,

I totally believe there is a purpose for you and all of us. The big problem for us is finding something that fits it would seem. That and it also seems that so many of us just dont know what it is we want to do. Maybe its because we have done so many things and feel like we are no good at them for one reason or another. ie we get fired or let go or board and quite. so for me it feels like i suck at so much.

The ironic thing for me is it was my wife leaving that put me on the path of finding out I had ADD. Which feels like it may have made a difference if i would have known before she left. hind sight is 20/20. I was very fortunate to have friends around me that made me not let my ex have full custody of the boys. I am a really good father but at the time i felt so bad about myself I was willing to let her have whatever she wanted. Thank God my friends (and lawyer) didnt allow that to happen. So I am very blessed with a really strong relationship with my sons.

So to be honest I dont know the pain of lossing your son. Boys need there dad so even if your ex doesnt appreicate that and moved him away from you try your best to be there for him on whatever level you can and I think he will seek to spend time with you. Hopefully you have made it clear to him that you want to be with him but it is out of your control.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

Thanks everyone for your feed back. I think one of the big things I need to do is look at what really makes it impossible for me to do a given job and want is the negitive crap I have been telling myself for years. (others such as bosses, school teachers and the general public also have done an excellent job of reminding me how much I suck)

Some things i just can legitimately can’t do. Reading out loud and pronouncing words I totally suck at, hence I was scared shitless of going into radio. It is like so many things I rock at parts of a job but suck at other parts. Like I know friends who went into radio and you always start off reading the news etc to prove yourself or pay your dues so to speak. Then maybe after a few years you move more into the entertainment part and reading is no big deal. But yeah my personality is a good match for it.

So i have some learning disabilities making the school thing a challenge on several levels. closest university is an hour and a half away so that complicates things too. I really want to be realistic about what I can do but it is hard to fight all the years of bad self talk.

I live in a small town so oportunities are limited and schooling is also. My first wife left me because “it was too hard” to live with someone in constantly losing jobs etc and who was working below their income potential. So I have to boys that I have every other week and I could never leave them so I am here for at least another 10 years. My current wife is very supportive so that helps. She says I am really good in bed but just not a very transferrable skill.

Maybe we need to get like 5 of us together, each get a job and convince our employers to let each of us work a day at each place. that way we have something different every day. Hell with so many of us only sticking with a job for 6 months to a year they are going to see 5 of us along the way reguardless.

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

Thank bill

Not sure I have enough knowledge in any one area that I could teach on. My wife actually works for a college and she wasnt sure there was much I would qualify to do there. I live in Canada so a degree is everything up here, especially if u are going to teach.

I too am employed and grateful I have a job to support my family but I wouldnt go as far as u that I am good at it. I get by but my boss wants me to take on more and it involves a lot more learning as it is dealing with commercial insurance. Talk about as exciting as watching paint dry thats how I feel about insurance. It just cant study for anything or at least anything I am not interested in.

Most of the office jobs I have done are boring and there is just so many rules and regulation to memorize it just seems to be beyond me.

I have been reading other peoples posting and it would seem I am not alone in my lack of knowing what to do when i grow up. Which is kind of good. Iike being on the Titanic and look around and saying at least I am not alone, only to realize………

REPORT ABUSE

[Louie007]

Wow, this is like the first time I went to AA. (sober 20 years now) And I am like that is me. Everything is sooooo me. I just posted 45, ADD and totally in the wrong job, I feel stuck and screwed. I could have just come to this post I guess. I can relate to just about every comment on here. I can’t relate to the people who actually have a degree or formal training as I just dont think I could do it. I had to study for an upgrading course and I failed twice and just passed on the third try.

So not only do I not know what “I want to do when I grow up” some of the stuff I am interested in I couldnt do the education side of it. Feel totally screw but less alone than I did so thats something.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts