[mez]

In 1964, when I was in grade four, the school IQ-tested all of us.

I never heard the end of it after that.

I’m SO sick of people telling me I could do it, I should apply myself, I was lazy, I could be anything if only I’d only TRY.

Being a disappointment to everyone you care about is debilitating and destabilizing.

One of the kids in my class was a classic ADHD kid (in retrospect); most of us thought he was really stupid because he was always doing dumb things and being a nuisance. The school must have known – he was tested too – but somehow wrote him off as just a problem kid.

Imagine our surprise, eight years later, when he came first in the state in maths.

I have attended all four of our ten-year school reunions, and am always amazed at the number of people who still think he’s an idiot. He is a genuine genius, not just “gifted” as I was labelled.

Poor man. I wish I knew last year (last time I spoke to him) what I know now.

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[mez]

I remember that book. Myself, I have daily shootouts at the “I’m OK, you’re not OK” Corral.

Saying “Fuck it!” is no help at all. I know, because I say it daily, in fact probably hourly.

I’m so glad you finally discovered what was wrong (I’m assuming because you’re here).

Psychiatrists are as vulnerable to their own belief systems as anyone else, but this attitude is just outrageous.

 

 

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[mez]

I love the idea of talking to an empty chair, what a brilliant thing to do.

I never really believed in ADD/ADHD. I live in Australia and thought it was just an American fad. There have always been problem kids – I was one myself.

Then my daughter had a friend at school with ADHD. She spent a lot of time at our place and her mother insisted I have a stock of Ritalin on hand.

I was amazed at the difference in her behaviour – this kid went from bouncing off the walls, completely intractable, to a normal little kid within half an hour.

Then when my other daughter told me she thought SHE had it, I was stunned. I had to do a lot of research just to believe it. Doing this, it was like a light globe going on – it answered everything, and not just about her; about me. I believe I have it too.

Now I’m really annoyed at people who are like I was. I understand the skepticism and where it comes from, but I suspect from now on I will be a better person, less judgemental.

Probably I’ve posted this in the wrong section. I’m new to this. I have extreme problems with computers; I simply don’t understand how or why they work.

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[mez]

Thank you Blackdog.

This site is really interesting to me and right now I need all the help I can get.

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[mez]

Memikee, I am 58 and my 19-year-old daughter has just been diagnosed with ADD.
You sound just like me, except I am able to hyperfocus on books – thrillers or really interesting books. I read at least 200 books a year and always have done. I read an entire children’s encyclopaedia at the age of six, when I was left alone for two months. I was being cared for physically, but I was so confused and alone the books (the only reading matter these people had) were an escape.

I have no patience with myself or others. I kick cars, auto-checkout machines, and the other day I killed my keyboard.
My rage and frustration can be triggered by the tiniest things. I’ve been self-medicating with cannabis since I was 17 because it helps me to see the big picture. I can be FURIOUS with someone, then have a smoke and realise my fury is misplaced – I’m really, REALLY pissed at MYSELF.
Road rage and public rudeness are everyday occurrences for me. I wake in the morning, say “Oh, fuck,” and go back to sleep. Sometimes I can manage another two or three hours’ sleep before I have to get up and face another confusing, frustrating day.
I”ve always known my reading is abnormal and an escape from reality, but now looking back on my life I realise I have failed at everything I ever did. I could be really excited and interested in class, then I would just vague off and forget all about it.
When I leave a job, I don’t just burn my bridges; I blow them into rubble.
Last week I was diagnosed with Bipolar Lite after 40 minutes with a shrink whose pet speciality is Bipolar Lite. All shrinks have their favourites. She prescribed Seroquel. I haven’t taken it.
I think if I’d ever had a manic or hypomanic episode I would at least have cleaned the house, which is what shits me the most.
I am now certain I have ADD and have had it all my life.
Somewhere I have all my old childhood school reports and thinking about them now, I realise they have “ADD” written all over them. They would help with a diagnosis and I even know where they are – in my walk-in wardrobe, which is stacked up to the ceiling with stuff – so much so I can’t find my clothes.
There is no way I could find them alone.
I would far rather be mad than bad. If I DON’T have ADD, then I am the laziest and worst person in the world. My husband did the hard yards of parenting. Luckily my children understand there is something wrong with me and love me anyway.
Crying now; gotta go.

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