By Rick Green – TotallyADD
I keep hearing motivational speakers, trainers, fitness coaches, and successful people declare, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Yes. Sometimes.
From what I’ve seen in friends and family is that sometimes what doesn’t kill you simply scars you for life. Some people can never get past a trauma, a loss of a loved one, an act of violence. They struggle every day. They are crippled for life.
Undiagnosed ADHD doesn’t make anyone stronger.
It frustrates and disheartens them. It saps their energy, wastes their time, and ruins opportunities.
ADHD can sabotage their loftiest life goals and their intimate relationships. Undiagnosed, this disorder can be a life-sucking, invisible, vampire.
Diagnosed? Understood? Dealt with using strategies that work for those of us with this mindset? Ah! Then everything changes. Or rather, now there’s a chance things can change. Having a collection of great tools and beautiful wood doesn’t automatically mean you have a lovely cottage. But it sure helps.
Until you know what’s going on and why, the best strategy is often to play small, settle for less, assume everything is difficult, or, more likely, assume you’re weak, lazy, flakey, self-absorbed, stupid, or broken. I did. It was a reasonable explanation. A shortage of certain neurotransmitters? How would I have ever figured that out on my own?
How could anyone win a battle against an invisible enemy, especially if they don’t realize they are in a battle?
My ADHD didn’t kill me.
But I am not sure that it made me stronger.
It was learning about it, learning what to do about, and dealing with this shape-shifting saboteur that made the difference. Suddenly it was a fair fight.
And then dealing with my ADHD made me stronger. Happier. More self-confident. More aware of myself. And others. More compassionate and appreciative. And even, at unexpected times, filled with a sense of peace.
And those moments are when I feel stronger.