In public, I’m a (fairly) normal business owner who manages to pay bills, coach my clients and manage employees. But in private, I’m a mess. I leave a trail of shoe droppings through my house; I always shop in the belated birthday card section; and I swear I’m going to finish writing this blog post by the end of last week.
Granted, I am more bumbling Inspector Clouseau than suave James Bond but only because my private self tends to break through at the most embarrassing moments. Those moments happen more frequently these days because, quite frankly, I am worn out from changing disguises.
I have a whole closetful of them: The Loser, The Intellect, The Space Cadet, The Super Hero. All of them rub my psyche like an ill-fitting pair of shoes, leaving blisters on my authentic self which aches to make its public debut.
So I’ve made a decision: I’m giving up the spy life in exchange for being “Me” in all my ADHD glory. It’s frightening to emerge from behind the masks. What if I am rejected, abandoned, or worse, ridiculed? At this point, it’s worth the risk.
All I have ever wanted in my entire life is to be loved for being exactly who I am. Somewhere along the line someone told me that wasn’t enough. But I’m gonna give it a shot. Maybe it’s time you turned in your double agent badge, too. Wanna join me?
Linda Roggli is the proud owner of an ADHD brain and a cheerleader for ADHD adults who are ready to come out of their closets to live the life they have always deserved. To that end, she founded the ADDiva Network for women with ADHD and wrote a book that won two first place literary awards: Confessions of an ADDiva: midlife in the non-linear lane. She has lots more street cred which you can read about on her website http://addiva.net