Don’t Believe Everything You Think

There’s a meme that keeps popping up on Facebook that has a great deal of wisdom in it: ‘Don’t believe everything you think’ – Byron Katie.

That simple phrase popped into my head when we were interviewing Dr. Edward ‘Ned’ Hallowell at his home in Massachusetts. 

I had driven down to Boston to appear on WGBH, the local PBS station, when they debuted our program, ADD & Mastering It!

We were talking about anxiety and depression, two common spin-offs of life with ADHD, especially before it’s diagnosed. 

Ned said, “Never worry alone.  Call someone.”  He calls it Vitamin C.  ‘C’ as in Connection.  Connect with someone.

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

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If there’s a universal reaction people have when they discover TotallyADD, for the 1st time, or watch ADD & Loving It?!, it’s this: ‘I thought this was just me and that I was the only one. 

I thought nobody else was like this and that thought I was weird.  Everything you’re saying sounds like you’re talking about me. This is me!’

It’s so empowering to connect with people who are sharing the challenges and the journey that you are on.

Not just for comparing notes.

Not just for the relief of hearing people are struggling with the same crap.  Or the joy of hearing someone top your story with one of their own.  ‘Late for a meeting?  That’s nothing.  Let me tell you about my wedding!…’

The power of connecting is that it breaks the cycle of thoughts.

When you speak those thoughts that are racing around in your head, they suddenly have…less power. They have limits.  Same with writing them down.

The simplest, cheapest, fastest way to interrupt negative, fearful, or self-destructive thoughts is to get them out of your head and into a conversation.

That’s why therapists and coaches and best friends can be… well, your best friend.

Connection.

THE MAGIC OF SUPPORT

The connection of a support group can be a life-saver.

During one of our older webinars, before the guest host joined us, I was being funny and flippant. 

Ideas were hopping and popping in the chat window. 

And someone wrote that they were newly diagnosed, they were new to ADHD, it was their first webinar, and, ‘I suddenly have this feeling that everything was going to be okay.’

We hadn’t even started and they were already feeling the power of connection. And that’s not the first time something like this has happened on a webinar.

Do you know what a relief it is to sense, even faintly, that ADHD is not the end of the universe? That you can struggle with this ‘disorder’ and still be able to laugh, love, live, and maybe even contribute something wonderful to the world.

GOING BEYOND YOUR OWN STUFF

Dr. Hallowell is right. The best way to interrupt negative thoughts is to talk to someone else.

Whether it’s a friend you trust, or an ADHD coach you’re working with, or someone you’ve connected with You are not alone.

There’s a second way to help yourself, beyond turning to someone else when you’re frazzled. It’s this. Be the person that someone turns to when they are frazzled.

In other words, being there for someone else. Be the person they can call.

Or, be the person who calls on them to see if they are okay.

Best,

Rick