GAMES! Goals?

[nellie]

Well it’s Friday and I managed to log on and check my account online as well as sync/update my computer based banking records. Discovered some discrepancies as a result of not downloading for three months and have to enter 1/2 of APril manually – eeeewww! But feel I’ve accomplished something anyhow. Boy do things look different in black & white!

And Kudos no_dopamine, Carrie and KKat – looks like you’ve all managed to pull off your good intentions and turn them into actions! Guess that old write it down and make it happen really works! Glad you thought of this Carrie!

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[Anonymous]

Good for you, Nellie! and thanks for the idea, Carrie.

My goal for today (Friday) is to get off the internet now, and stay off except for checking email for my business. All I have to do now is just step away from the computer ….. eeeeeeekkkks …. this is soooooooo hard ……. nose glued to the monitor screen, fingers poised to type …….. mouse ready to cruise ……… must – just – log – off – and – not – think – about – it ……….. 👿

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[nellie]

but we’ll miss you if you go no_ dopamine!! 😆 😉

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[Anonymous]

Cool. One item down. We did our furniture shopping on Friday, a day earlier than planned, and have put four of the seven shelf units together. Ugh! My visual nature, and my “feel” for things means that I am always the one to put things together. Thankfully the excitement of getting ADHD-practical furniture was incentive enough for me to get the first few together, and stuff put away on them. I LOVE them!!!! I can see what’s on them and will find it harder to lose things in piles with this set up. Now I have to put the last few together It’s not so fun anymore, and there is existing furniture that has to be unloaded and moved out before the new shelves can go in. Ick, ick, ick!!!

And I discovered that I did’t like Ikea lol. I couldn’t wait to get out. I had no idea where I was in respect to the entry and exit, and just couldn’t wrap my head around the layout, or how the whole buying stuff worked (look at item in showroom, take down details, continue looking at stuff, then pick up items you want from elsewhere in the store and take it to a register to pay). Talk about overwhelming. But I guess I had been busy all day, so I didn’t have much patience or mental strength left by then. Another day I could probably spend hours roaming around looking at every little gadget, opening all the drawers and cupboards, and impulsively spending all my money But once I have no money to spend, then I have no time for shopping 😉 Or if I have something in particular to buy, then I have to get that done, or I can’t concentrate on looking at other stuff – though often enough I get sidetracked and forget to get what I came for 🙄

Oh dear…really off topic….just got home from night shift, so that’s my excuse…a tired, uncontrolled brain…yawn!! Bedtime….

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[Carrie]

I hear ya with the whole internet thing!

Im a little down today. I didnt get what I wanted done before Friday (besides organizing the laundry, its still not put away). I have not done the lilacs, or weed whacking. The front yard is still a jungle. BLEH! Who cares?? They are just a few weeds! If the neighbors dont like them, they can come pull them! Last night I was down. I felt great in the morning took 15mg of Dexedrine then felt like crap for the rest of the day. I did nothing but play video games… So many video games that my hand cramped and today my muscles are sore in my hand.. didnt know that was possible! Was too down last night, so got drunk and went to bed. Woke up feeling great this morning! Didnt take any meds… By noon felt like crap again and went to bed and slept… Woke up… Ate… Went into town with my brother and now here I am down again about to go play some more video games. Im off!

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[Anonymous]

I’m back, got a few things accomplished by staying off the internet. But when we went shopping we spent more than we intended to, as usual. I really need to stay away from stores. At least we were able to cash in some points from one of my credit cards.

KrazyKat: Ikea is designed so you will find it hard to leave (cheap food) and buy on impulse. There are shortcuts through the showrooms but I always have the feeling I’m missing something so have to see everything. It drives my husband nuts. But what I do is go online and see what I might want to buy, then write it down and just look for those things and nothing else. I do compare what I wanted to buy with some of the other things in that category, but I try very hard not to buy anything else.

My husband and I decided to sit down with one whiteboard and make some more lists: His, Hers, His & Hers. Just throwing up things we need or want to do over the summer here. Then we’ll schedule those things onto the other whiteboard. I need to see only two weeks of a calendar, what commitments we’ve made during those two weeks and then we plan around that. We’re still not getting everything we need done, but it is helping a great deal in getting a few things done.

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[Carrie]

I am bad for impulse buying at stores with their tricky displays at the tills. I just take my husband and when I say “oooh!! Look at this!!” He tells me to put it back. It really helps hahaha

Thats a great idea with the whiteboard. My fault there is not setting a time limit. Im outta my little funk. I hate my funks. I finally decided enough with the woe is me! Take action! My plan is to clean tonight and in the morning, take a shower then go get groceries tomorrow evening. IM JUST GONNA DO IT!

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[Anonymous]

My husband’s favourite comment is “not right now” – of course that means NEVER. I am learning how to put things back too, sometimes I have to carry the item around the whole store with me, ruminating on whether or not I need it, and then put it down. I only wish I could avoid picking it up in the first place, it’s so embarrassing, I always think people are watching me be so indecisive.

Carrie, when you say you’re off meds, I think you are still self-medicating, with alcohol and video games. It’s just that the ADD meds are more effective for us 😉

I don’t set a time limit for the things we are planning, I have trouble with time, can’t estimate it. So I just devote the day (or portion of it) to doing that activity. I usually tend to go overboard in doing things anyway, this just helps to keep me focused on one activity that makes the difference, as Nellie describes, in what I want to get done. “The most bang for the buck” as they say. My challenge is to also plan in relax/play time.

Good luck with your plan! Let us know how it goes.

Today I am going in to work and going to work on only 1 thing, until lunchtime, then I’m coming home to relax for the rest of the day.

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[Carrie]

No Dopamine – Oh my! You are right! I never thought about that! I took 15mg of Dexedrine which was too much. I had heart palpitations, had butterflies in my stomach the entire time, was very irritable to sounds, and after the 5hours a pounding headache and was depressed. Thats why I didnt take more and then self medicated. Yesterday I didnt take any meds at all. My self med was sleep. Today I am taking 10mg like I always have. The psychiatrist said I could go up to 15mg, thats why I tried it… But I dont think I will. I didnt do my week without meds like I wanted. I found it was too crazy. I felt horrible because I couldnt keep track of a conversation I was having with my aunt. I lost my train of thought several times… That hasnt happened in a long time and always makes me feel so dumb.

On meds it is! I dont know why im fighting them. I guess they work too well so I think “ah who needs them! I dont have ADD, im doing just fine!” Perhaps I am still in denial… I really think I am. I dont know why its so hard for to to comprehend that “I” have ADD. The diagnosis just was so… easy? Well I had to fill out a million questionnaires, wait months to get into the psychiatrist who then gave me the diagnosis. I was humoring the idea since a friend with ADD thought I had it for sure because of my struggles in college among many other signs and symptoms. Anyways… Im rambling on here. We need to have blogs or something on here. That would help to get rid of a lot of the random ramblings.

So we are all ready to go into town to get groceries. I forgot that we were suppose to go see some family we havent seen in 2 years which im very excited for. Off to get groceries.. I WILL take my meds ALL day today and wont slack! When we get home, put groceries away, then head to family, then come back and finish cleaning. I just need to sweep everything up!

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[Anonymous]

Carrie, at least you kept a journal here about what worked and what didn’t, and that’s helpful. My therapist says sometimes it’s good to say out loud what our problems are, so that we accept them. So publicly talking about it is ok by me, not random ramblings here, I think!

The ADD consultant I saw suggested keeping a journal while taking the 10 mg/3x a day of Ritalin, and see how I felt at various times, before taking the dose, at 2 hours (peak of dose for the fast-acting version), and at 4 hours (end of dose). And then trying to up the dose if I wanted to, starting with 5 mg at a time. I have been doing ok with the 10 mg so far, so haven’t fiddled with the dose, but I will definitely keep a journal when I do to see how it affects me.

Enjoy your family visit!

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[Anonymous]

Ugh!! I might have accomplished my goal of getting the shelving we wanted, but the house has turned into a tip while I have been busy putting furniture together! So very typical of my life – sort out one thing and everything else slides into chaos

On a better note, I have actually been doing my knitting when I get time, so it is coming along at a speed I can’t complain about. I might actually finish an item…AND while it still fits the intended wearer….AND, in the season it is intended for!! I have been determined to stay away from the internet, which has helped tremendously. Once I get on the laptop, then I can kiss goodbye to anything else I may have wanted to accomplish. I have been only going online in the morning after I work a night shift, so natural exhaustion takes over, forcing me to give up and sleep after only a short while. Having to document my progress here is helping also, so thanks for the idea, Carrie

Carrie – it’s good to know the meds are helping you. Sometimes it takes stopping medications to make us see how well they really work. I agree with No_Dop that your writings here will give you a good reflection on what things were like for you off the meds.

No_Dop – my hubby is terrible when it comes to stopping my impulse buying. He will say “just get it” and then use it as an excuse to get himself something. I am better when I am by myself. I can take so long to make up my mind sometimes, that I put everything back just so I can get out of the shop. I get impatient with myself, so to speak 😉 It helps that I procrastinate going to the shops in the first place too. The internet is a different story! It’s too easy to shop online 🙄

Yawn! Bedtime I think. Can hardly keep awake, and i am spending longer editing my post than I am writing it…

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[Carrie]

No Dopamine – You are exactly right. Many many times I have typed out tons here but then deleted it. I find it much easier to sort things out in my head when I write them down to others. It helps a TON! Yesterday that what I did. I wrote A LOT, but then deleted it all, was too long. I just feel bad for everyone else who would sit and read the book… But mind you we are great at skimming! hahaha

Krazy – I was looking at some clear bins yesterday while shopping… almost bought some. I should of! Im finding a big reason I have little piles of things here and there is because I have no place for them! I should do that!

So yesterday was great! Grocery shopping was fine… No panic attacks! I always get panic attacks! I almost had one while unloading the cart because my poor daughter was trying to help me… But she was going too fast and I have a certain order and I was thrown off…. Sounds silly… But I do panic over that. So I asked her to go push the button and help daddy bag. I think I have some OCD. Thats one of the things the therapist interviewing my thought I had because I am very particular about things… Like the way I go through the grocery store, and how my cart has to be loaded a certain way and unloaded a certain way. Ah well! After that got home, put groceries away in fridge and freezer then left to in laws. Stayed there till late. Was a GREAT time! I love those in laws!

I agree, as soon as I hope onto my laptop everything else is gone and nothing gets done! I am posting here, going to turn on some music, then finish cleaning my house! Well… Get my scrubs washed, dishes done, floors swept! Then I will cook my dinner for tonight at work, get ready for work and go! Have a good day ladies!

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[Carrie]

Scrubs are washed! Dishes are done! Dinner is cooked! Floors half swept.. (you can tell I like to sweep!) and burned myself a CD!! My goal for tomorrow after work is to set myself up a bit of a routine! Have a good night!

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[Anonymous]

Carrie, well done on breaking away from the internet for long enough to get your chores done I am at the beginning of three days off, and don’t quite know what to do with myself. I have sooooo many things I could/should be doing that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I think my first step is to have a general tidy up, to make room for the other things I have to do – sewing and putting together more shelves being the top two on my list. I also MUST go to the bank, as my credit card is over it’s limit and I keep forgetting to put money on it 😳 Thankfully my son wants me to get something online for him using my credit card, so he will prompt me to remember (the money he has given me is sitting next to my phone, to help remind me too).

Okay, so my plans….go to the bank today. Do some general tidying up – at least half an hours worth in the morning, and again in the afternoon. Then this evening I will do some more shelves (when hubby is home to help lift them when I need to). Tomorrow I will start on my sewing, and do more shelves in the evening again. Will leave the last day off as a spare, for now.

So….off to have breakfast for now. Am getting hungry!

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[Anonymous]

Good going, chore-buddies!

I was out of town yesterday, a meeting with my therapist in the am, and then we went to see The Tree of Life movie (it’s almost finished its run). Major accidents and construction on the highways so it took hours and hours to get home.

Today my plan is to be productive and stay off the internet at work. Coming home, I am afraid to commit to anything, but if I don’t get drawn in by the internet magnet, I’ll try to declutter my bathroom (many unused items) and clean the sinks and toilet (my husband does the tub and floors).

We are both avoiding the major job in front of us, which is decluttering the living room and dining room. We cleaned out the back room, which is where I used to do my production at home, and I even taped up 6 cartons for ‘decluttering’, but getting off our butts to do that and not something else more interesting is proving to be challenging. So I’ll tackle the bathroom since it’s a smaller job, more visual bang for my buck. Hopefully that will be a bit of inspiration to tackle the bigger job.

It’s going to be a scorching hot week, so we will be indoors for most of it and that bodes well for indoor work, I HOPE

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[Author]

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