GAMES! Goals?

[Carrie]

Krazy – Ooooh Days off are always nice! I hear ya with the overwhelmed thing. Thats me often as well. I do the whole bill thing as well. Not until the next month arrives and I see I owe double I think “oh did I pay that last month? Guess not! No wonder I had some extra money!”

No Dopamine – Is your therapist a regular one, or for ADD? I like to de-clutter. Super easy for me… Grab garbage bag, in it goes! If you dont know its in there you obviously are not missing it right? Done and done! And then later your husband tells you your T4 was in there and all your other records…. hahahahaha

So I have just finished work. Did an evening shift last night, and then an early day shift today! Im pooped! Man I hate day shifts, never mind on 4hours of sleep! Thank goodness it was a quiet day! I think I will set a small goal to just simply clean my living room It only has a few toys… Needs to be swept. Oh! A real challenge would be my bathroom as well. Once again the toys… Sink needs a good scrub, meh about it. I will do one load of laundry. I have decided when I play my Xbox I will do laundry since Im sitting in the next room. I can keep it going. One day… Im just going to burn all the laundry. For fun! hahahaha Maybe I wont clean that little lint trap and let it catch it all on fire… oh then it can burn my house down too and I can have a new one!! hahaha Where was I now… Yes.. Goals. Yeah, Im going to do that now. then I will make some dinner… get to bed early. One more day shift to go!

At work I have been writing random things that come to mind, things I need to do or want to do. Im trying to just get them down as they come to me so I dont forget. Its been helpful! For example, teach my kids how to ride bikes without training wheels this summer. Gosh did I ever feel like a horrible parent when my poor son was the only one in his class who didnt know how! I was so embarrassed I didnt even take him to Bike Safety day.. I called in and lied that he had an appointment. Not embarrassed that he doesnt know how, but I failed as a parent because I didnt take him out to practice! Thats one of the goals that came while at work. And teach them how to swim! I dont like going out in public! Panic-city! Guess im just paranoid. Am I weird because Im afraid to run into people I know?? Im fine with complete strangers… But I fear seeing someone I know.. and in a small town of 1000 people.. You kind of know everyone… I just dont go out! I dont take my kids to the park, to the beach (well one way off in the bush thats private and your not suppose to drive….). I fear going to the store, I make my husband go. I guess I should work on that too! But I LOVE sticky notes and they help me sort things out, and organize thoughts when they start to run!

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[Anonymous]

Carrie, I tend not to take the kids anywhere, but for different reasons. By the time I have a free weekend, or days off in school holidays, I just want to enjoy a day where I don’t have to go anywhere. I always have to go somewhere – school drop off/pick up, swimming lessons, scouts, rehearsals. It’s such an effort, so I like to treat myself by having a day at home when I can.

As for my intended tasks….I did the tidying up. Lots of it!! Instead of half an hour, I spent most of the day doing it. Once I get started on something, I often have trouble stopping! We did a run to the Salvation Army shop on the way through to the bank, and loaded off a pile of bags full of unwanted toys and clothes that the kids had put aside when tidying their rooms. The I moved out one of our old cupboards and put a new shelving unit in its place and swapped over all the items that were on it too – getting rid of a few in the process. I put some of my daughter’s washing away, as her room is now tidy enough for me to get into her cupboard and drawers, and started folding towels and sheets. Did a few loads of laundry. Started tidying my sewing room. Bagged up a quilt that’s been sitting on my recliner for a month or more (now have to find somewhere for it to go). Sorted some of the paperwork that is piled on the table by the front door. It was all a bit haphazard, and I left lots of unfinished tasks behind me, and the house doesn’t look much tidier than when I started, but it was progress, and I am happy. I didn’t put together any shelving though I just did not have the space to put together the big units that are left to do, and I was feeling a bit stressed about the enormity of the task of swapping the units for the existing furniture. Lots of books involved So I had a bath, and did some more of my knitting.

Anyway, my plans for today are to finish folding the towels and linen, and to put them all away. My daughter has swimming, and I must remember to take her (school holidays put us out of normal routine, and I often forget regular committments that don’t stop in the holidays). I think I will spend more time on my sewing room, and on clearing space so that furniture can be set up and moved. The sewing I wanted to start can be put off till tomorrow – which is why I wanted to keep a day up my sleeve. I need to clear the dining table too, so I have room to cut out my fabric. And I must start collecting the paperwork I need to start my tax return – I should be able to do that as I go, because I know some of it is in my sewing room and I will come across it as I tidy up there. My reward will be to eventually buy some iPod touch apps for sewing – there are some that help keep track of patterns and fabric, as well as projects. I have been eyeing them off and thought I would treat myself once I have made some decent progress on the house (not before, as I will waste all my time taking photos of my fabric collection and patterns and won’t do any work!!!).

Lots of bits and pieces today. I don’t know how I will go. I woke up at 4am with a sore throat and back ache, and lay awake for ages waiting to get back to sleep. Did eventually get some more sleep, thanks to a pain killer, but not a lot more, and I feel foggy and ick now. Still have a scratchy throat, and I also have mouth ulcers that hurt enough by themselves, but which have also caused my glands to swell, so now my neck/jawline is tender too

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[Anonymous]

Carrie, my therapist is a psychologist but I see him for meditation training (and we deal with the personal material that gets in the way of that). He really doesn’t know anything about ADD. For example, one day when I told him I had trouble executing his suggestion of putting a timer on for an hour, take a break for 5 min, then do another hour of work, etc., he said “you don’t want to”. But then once I started taking meds, I was able to do it. I can still get distracted, but it’s a lot easier to pay attention to the timer when it goes off (and remember to bring it into the same room with me), take a break, and come back for more.

You two are making me look bad, I only cleaned the toilet and sink at work today before leaving, we had to pick up a new mattress and buy a mattress protector, so the evening is gone, no more time for chores. There’s always tomorrow! But my husband decluttered a chair in the livingroom and it’s the first time we’ve seen it in many many months! (I’m scared to look in the boxes in the backroom, have to muster up the courage to ask him if he actually threw anything out).

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[Carrie]

Nah, Im not making you look bad! I spent about 4hours here and then the last 2 playing video games… Got one load of laundry going at least! hahahaha The vortex of technology 1, Carrie – 0

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[Anonymous]

Yeah…I still haven’t done anything about the last three shelving units…or really finished anything I had on my list. I feel like I have spent the day just rearranging the mess (and it looks like it too!!). I have thrown out so much paperwork and stuff but can’t see much of a difference, and have only ended up spreading the mess as I upended boxes of crap everywhere. I start one task, like clearing off the dining table, then I hit a hard bit (ie “what the hell do I do with this?!”) and change tasks. So I have half finished tasks everywhere 🙄 I can see myself just piling the mess all back up again to get it out of the way.

In addition to rearranging my clutter, I folded and put away some of the towels and linen, tidied part of the dining table, and remembered my daughter’s swimming. I don’t know whether to feel a sense of accomplishment or not. I feel a little demoralised – it’s back to work for me tomorrow night and things just seem to keep piling up.

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[Anonymous]

I like your score keeping, Carrie, it might motivate me to win a few against technology!

KrazyKat, I hear you with the clearing away and being stymied about what to do with it, that’s what paralyzes me from even getting started. I wish we had a rule that we wouldn’t bring anything into the house unless it had a designated place for storage, but that never works.

I think anything we do towards our goals counts – and we should feel good about it – even if we don’t always see a dent. We’re strengthening something, whether it’s our willpower or stamina or just stubbornness in trying to break the hold that ADD has over us. But we shouldn’t beat ourselves up when we fail – it happens. BTW, I checked in with my husband, and he didn’t throw anything away. He made yet another pile of just papers that he’ll have to go through again. But I respect the fact that this is how he deals with paperwork. He has to get it into its own pile and then motivate himself to deal with it in his own way.

My new landlord told me a story about how she hates to open mail and lets it pile up. She had an envelope that looked like something from a Readers Digest contest, you know where you have won a big prize (but usually the last envelope says someone else won), and gave it to her assistant to shred. At the very last minute, she said “wait, no, give me that back”, and it actually contained a REAL cheque for about $3,000. She had desperately needed a holiday, wanted to take her mom, had actually booked the accommodations online but didn’t know how she’d pay for it, and this little baby flew into her hands. She ALMOST shredded it. So maybe the moral of that story is that there might just be treasures in our stuff that we need to uncover.

Today I am going to try to work a schedule I just created using a new software tool – technology might just suck me in again, but I’m going to give it another shot. This one lets me see tasks, prioritize them, allocate them to different people, and see it on a calendar (I really need the visual) as well as tag them as recurring (like toilet cleaning). If I make too many tasks recurring and they start to collide on the calendar, maybe I will get the message (and plan differently) that I have too much on my plate and have to give something up.

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[Carrie]

Krazy – I agree that every little thing we do should count! I know I beat myself up all the time because I COULD of done this… I SHOULD of done this, instead I sit on my lazy butt wasting time on technology! But if im not hard on myself I then dont feel so bad and dont get depressed and discouraged and can actually be more useful hahaha

No Dopamine – Yeah I want to beat technology too! What software tool are you using? Sounds very cool! I too need visuals but I have to have it in paper and write on it or it doesn’t make any sense. I also use colours. Colours work the best for me. In my schedule for work I highlight the days I work in yellow and then write in my hours. Cut-off I outline in black, payday is green. Then I can quickly see and understand what im looking at! But it has to be paper, and in my messy writing to make sense! I print off a million calendars! One for bills, one for work, etc etc. Too many if you ask me!

I just got home from a very loooooooooooooooooooong day at work! Today brought out the disadvantage of short acting meds! I ran all day today and didnt have time to remember or even stop to take my 11am med. 12pm I was going 1million miles an hour… couldnt keep track of my thoughts wondering why am I going so fast! Then realized CRAP! Meds!! Ran took them, then in about an hour was quiet and calm and could focus on what was going on! What a difference! I didnt think there was much of one at work, but when they wore off WOW! On my drive home I thought I should just get to cleaning and not even step near this PC so I dont get sucked in… But here I am first! Just wanted to post! I HAD TO! Anyways.. I WILL make dinner, and AT LEAST clean my kitchen! Nothing I love more than waking up to a clean kitchen on a day off! Im not even going to think now! Just gonna slam my laptop shut and later when im done, and if I havent passed out cause im so tired… Ill be here or playing video games!

Ciao for now ladies!

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[Carrie]

Well only an hour later. Dinner is almost done! Not just a half thrown together one like KD, but REAL FOOD! And kitchen is clean! *fist pump, fist pump* YEAH!! WOOO!!! Carrie – 1, Vortex of Technology – 1

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[Anonymous]

vortex of technology 999, me 5. lol. time for me to join this thread too! I am trying to get into the habit of turning my computer off if I leave the house and will be back late. I’m usually too lazy to turn it back on.

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[Anonymous]

Going out of town for the day, will post about the software tool tomorrow, need to see if it’s helping or not. It does take a LOT of work to get it up and running.

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[Anonymous]

Yawn! My last day off sort of fizzled lol. More crappy sleep. I spent the morning transferring all my data from my old phone to my new one, so my daughter could have my old one. I did more laundry (where does it keep coming from?!!). Found my son’s long acting ritalin prescription (Concerta 27mg was what the doc ordered for him in the end) in the post, so went and got that filled. Put together the smallest shelving unit. And there went my back. Ouch! Got nothing much else done after that. I have pushed myself too hard. So I ended up sitting at work having back spasms and trying to knit. Gave up knitting eventually, and just sat. Boring. Now I am home and I have to stay awake long enough to drop my son at a friend’s house. Ick!

By the way, the 27mg Concerta looks just like the cat litter pellets we get, that are made from recycled paper!! Gray cylinders with bluntish ends. What a laugh!!

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[Anonymous]

Plans for today: NONE. I mean, it’s so bloody hot and I’m tired and I think I should just accept that and go with the flow, wherever it takes me. Sometimes you just HAVE to give in to days like that without punishing yourself.

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[Carrie]

Thats exactly what I did yesterday! NOTHING! Wooo! It was my first day off and I kept it that way! Today however I want to get things done.

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[Anonymous]

Carrie, that’s great! I think when we get to the point that we KNOW what we are doing rather than being lead unconsciously, it’s a start to working with change. My meditation teacher says his teacher spends hours playing video games, but that she’s fully aware when she does so. And presumably can stop when she wants to (my problem!)

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[Carrie]

I completely agree with that! Normally I am very hard on myself for being so unproductive in turn making me feel worse and repeating over and over. That why I decided I would take that day for me. If I want to play video games all day (and I did) I will!

It also dawned on me yesterday (the oblivious person I am hahaha) that if I want my house to be clean, I shouldnt wait until I FEEL like doing it because 98% of the time I DONT FEEL like it. hahahahaha I should do it even when I dont feel like it. Honestly who really FEELS like cleaning their house? Well if I wake up on the right side of the bed and the sun is shining and somehow I dont get sucked into the technology vortex I then feel like doing it, but thats rare! Today I am not going where my feelings take me! Im going to do it even if im working at a super slow, scattered pace! Also, I dont really feel like taking meds today. But looking back I guess its a smart thing to take them, I dont want to self medicate again! hahaha

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[Author]

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