Dr. Umesh Jain
is now exclusively responsible
for TotallyADD.com
and its content
Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey I'm Excited/Relieved The High-Five Corner

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  • Scattybird

    Rock on Larynxa. Well done.

    What’s your secret?

    Patte Rosebank

    @Scattybird, my “secret” is finally getting proper treatment for my ADHD.  I’m really amazed at how much of a difference it’s made.

    I’m sure the Concerta is helping a bit too, since one of the side effects is appetite suppression.  Curiously, even if I don’t take it for a day or two, I still have the same appetite suppression.  I think my innards have gotten used to smaller portions, and my brain has gotten used to saying, “I think we’ve had enough”.

    I’ve also been discovering that it’s true that each tiny success makes you keen to try for more.  I have to force myself onto my exercise bike, and the first mile is really hard, but once I get going, the rush of happy endorphins encourages me to keep going.  Just as they do when I decide to walk the 3 miles home from the ADHD clinic.

    Another thing that keeps me going is the encouragement from everyone here, and from my brother, and from people who haven’t seen me for a while and greet me with a, “Whoa!  Looking good!”

    And it’s very nice to discover I can fit into some of my favourite outfits again.

    It’s going to be really interesting to see what I look like when I play the Bird-Lady (hybrid of a human and a bird) in a Sideshow-themed photo art project, this summer.  I may have to take-in some of my fancy corsets, so they don’t fall down!

    Patte Rosebank

    @Phoenixmagic, just as long as you don’t do a flying kick without making sure you have room to fly!  (You can lose more lamps that way…)

    Isn’t it amazing how much easier it is when you have other people encouraging you?

    @Larynxa, I can’t do flying kicks but I can punch stuff pretty well. It’s always great to have people who can encourage you. 🙂




    I have a few recent high fives: 1. yesterday I studied for a Biology 101 exam all afternoon and evening and even until 2:00am..mind you my medication had worn off around 9:30pm…to stay on task was hard but not as hard as I thought. 2. I accepted my mom’s drinking…now it’s time to take care of me.  There are days when its easier than others but I have to remember Let go and let God. 3.  I got the courage to open up to my boss and our sous chef (the assistant to the head chef of the cafe) and tell them both about my mom. It was a huge relief to be able to tell someone!



    Rite arn!,

    Good job you guys, I was feeling alil bit down today. Just growing pains. They happen when we finally get around to trying to act more like a grown-up.

    It happens.

    We act like a grown up long enough. We turn into one!!

    I know. Yikes!!!. it’s scary stuff indeed. But rest assured. I will remain my same old self.

    Warts n all.

    But today I had the good fortune to read all of this thread without having my own child-like (not childish…) impatience force me to jump to the end… [forget the fact that I didn’t read the first 9 pages] This is a reasonable amount of maturity for a 48 year old man.

    Notice I said “A Man” and not just an ADDer. yes indeed I have been officially diagnosed with ADHD. But… Well, the truth is that I stopped taking the Ritalin because I got too much dang flack from some of the good people in my life. Their opinion does matter to me. Some of them are real grown up ya see. So being a good young man. I listen to them.

    I take other people seriously these days.

    I’m growin up indeed.

    Slowly, veddy veddy slowly indeed.

    But I am.

    **turning to present my back** cuz sometimes a high five just doesn’t fill the empty casm of neediness inside my aching soul… I wish I could tell ya that I’m being sarcastic.

    I ain’t

    I’m afraid a friend of mine has died. He just could not see his way to doing the work that it take to become a grown up.

    That’s all I have to say about that. ***in my best Forest Gump voice***

    Thanks for being so real, so good, and so now you guys.

    This is encouragement. Please drive to the next window…

    7.99 please.

    Thank you please come again


    Blue Yugo

    I have booked my first ever solo vacation.  (I”m 38…that’s a rite of passage I should have accomplished half a lifetime ago.)  I will be staying at a B&B, which is highly rated and highly awarded, and ironically costs the same as the basic rate at the nearest Motel 6.

    I found that I’d spent more energy procrastinating about doing my taxes than actually doing them, and behold…I’m getting a refund!  So I’ve already had to blow some of it on a GPS unit as supposedly it’s impossible to travel without one (how ever did my parents get to Washington State and back in 1966 without one, right?)  I’m more afraid of the GPS than I am trusting my instincts and eyes as I cross not a time zone boundary (I have yet to do that some day), but an international border.  I just wonder how many hours it’ll take to get through that fiasco…  400 miles, 6 1/2 hours according to Google, but you know how that goes.  It’s not ’til June, but I’m a little intimidated already…but it’s a trip I have to take because I need to feel what it’s like to be personally empowered…something my parents don’t understand.

    Patte Rosebank

    @LittleBlueYugo, how exciting!

    I prefer to travel alone, because it gives me so much freedom.  It also encourages me to interact with the locals, because I’m not wrapped up in talking to a travelling companion.  Even if I do travel with someone, it works much better for me if we share a room, and maybe meet up for lunch or dinner, but otherwise do our own things.

    Here are some of the things I’ve learned, as a solo traveller:

    Read as much as you can, and plan before you go.

    That way, you’ll know which interesting places are worth a visit…and which areas to avoid.  And if you know you’ll be driving along toll routes, you can keep a container of loose change handy, so you don’t need to dig for it.  This saves time & frustration.


    Don’t be too trusting of your GPS.  Many a traveller has been led astray by blindly doing whatever the GPS says.  Bring along a map, just in case.

    Keep an emergency kit (including food, water, and a flashlight) inside the car. You don’t want to have to get out in a potentially dangerous situation, to retrieve it from the trunk.


    Make sure your cellphone is charged and you have enough minutes to keep you connected.

    If you’re going to be crossing an international border, you will get dinged with high roaming charges.  Contact your cellphone provider before you go, to find out what these charges will be, and if there’s a cheaper option.


    If you’ll be crossing any international borders, make sure your passport has at least 6 months left before it expires.  If you’re coming into Canada or Mexico, you won’t necessarily need a passport.  But you will definitely need a passport to return to the USA.


    Be very aware of safety issues.  Don’t get paranoid; just be informed and aware, and trust your instincts.

    As a lone female traveller, you need to be especially aware of your surroundings at all times.  There are numerous websites with advice for solo female travellers, including safety advice, particularly pertaining to hotels.

    Insist the hotel clerk writes down your room number, instead of saying it.  Otherwise, someone may overhear and target you.  If the clerk does say the room number, immediately ask for a different room, and ask them to write down the number, instead of saying it.

    It’s also a good idea to bring a travel door lock or brace with you.  These are small, inexpensive devices, which reinforce your hotel door.  Even if it never gets tested (if you know what I mean), it’s nice to know it’s there.


    When I’m travelling, the stimulation of being in a new place, coupled with the “I may not get another chance to do this” mindset, makes me more prone to impulsive spending.

    To prevent the huge shock of the post-vacation credit card bill, I try to budget for each day, and I keep track of every penny I spend (even tiny purchases, like a pack of gum).  At the end of each day, I add it all up, so I instantly know where I stand financially.

    I got so used to doing this on vacation, that it became a permanent habit!

    Blue Yugo

    My company has a plant in Nanticoke, ON, and I talked to the plant manager yesterday about the whole area from Nanticoke, the lakes, all the way up to Toronto.  I’m going to have to make more than one trip just to do everything I want to!  I’m actually also going to be looking into that general area for far-off future consideration to possibly move.  I may have relatives in BC, but I was born in the States…though it doesn’t mean I have to stay here my whole life.

    I’m staying at a B&B with 3 rooms.  I wanted to bring my bicycle so I could bike as well as walk / hike, but it’s a lot to haul and if the weather isn’t right for biking, I may not even get to use it.  I guess not something to bring on the first trip.  I’m going to see the Niagara Escarpment, Bruce Trail, and I’m not entirely committed yet to how far I’m going to wander and what I’m going to do.  I have a few indoor locations I’d like to see, and I’m already playing with street views on Google maps and “driving” a few intersections to my “must-see” destinations.

    I would love to get to see downtown Hamilton, but I’m not sure about driving there.  Me and cities don’t mix (because the ones I see are madhouse bustles of traffic and impatient drivers, one-way streets, and gang graffiti).  I’d take the bus, but I’m still not certain of how to convert USD to Canadian.  I assume buses don’t take US.  Or I can save that for another trip and head to points more south and west.  No idea.

    I just turned what would have otherwise been an aimless trip to upstate NY into a real challenge for myself crossing borders, changing money, and doing a solo trip where I don’t have a friend or family member waiting for me who will show me around and take the reins for me.  See?  In everything I do, I learn by DOING!  You can tell me….it passes out the other ear.  You can write about it…but I have nothing tangible or a visual reference for it to make sense.  Throw me into it (as long as it’s not a swimming pool), and I learn on the fly and out of necessity (unless it’s swimming…no can do).

    I guess it’s now off to install, play with, and get frustrated with my new GPS.  Like all pieces of technology I’ve never seen before, I’m sure I’ll figure it out instantly and without looking at the instructions…at least not for more than 10 seconds within the first 30 days.

    Patte Rosebank

    @LittleBlueYugo, are you staying in Nanticoke, or somewhere else?

    The Niagara Escarpment is a beautiful area.  Niagara Falls itself is pretty touristy, especially the Clifton Hill area (Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum, Hershey store, etc.)

    But Niagara-on-the-Lake is such a sweet, romantic, old-fashioned, small town.  Do catch a show at the Shaw Festival, if you can.  And be sure to drop by Maple Leaf Fudge.  (Their double-chocolate-nut fudge is divine.)

    As for the money exchange rate, the Canadian & U.S. dollars are pretty much at par.  The U.S. dollar is ahead by about 2 cents, right now.  But the Niagara area is so close to the U.S. border, and such a tourist attraction, that you probably won’t need to exchange your money at all.  Pay in USD, get change in CAD.  Easy!

    Hamilton is a funny place to get around in, because it has so many one-way streets.  But you don’t have to drive there.  Between May & September, GO Transit runs a train service between Toronto & Niagara Falls, stopping in downtown Hamilton, along the way.  And GO Buses run all over that area, year-round.

    Blue Yugo

    I’m not going to Niagara Falls.  Not this time anyway.  I’ve needed an honest, true “get away” for a long time, but money or job situations got in the way.  One of my main goals is to a) go to scenic places and bring home some nice photos of nature beyond my own “familiar area”, and b) get away from crowds & noise, and of course c) to go somewhere I’ve never been before as personal empowerment…

    I’m staying north of Nanticoke, south of Hamilton itself.  (I’d tell you more if this weren’t such an open forum.)  I’ve got a mind to visit Mr. Used at some point under the assumption they still have the remnants of the RG set there (unless Steve’s taking it on tour with him later in the year.  Gosh, I hope he comes to the US again some time.)

    My thinking goes as such:  Make minimal plans.  I can never decide on things ’til last minute and I never adhere to itineraries.  I’ll only frustrate myself and overcomplicate things if I build in too much structure ahead of time.  I suppose part of the joy of taking ADD along on the journey is that it gets to flex its wings by sticking to an “anything goes” paradigm and gets to make decisions on the fly like it wants to.  The place I’m staying has maps and the owners told me they’d be happy to not only help me pick spots along the escarpment and Bruce Trail to visit, but also pick me up if I want to walk one way then call them so they can bring me back to where I leave my car.

    This is so empowering in so many ways.  My ADD on one hand can sail on its whims. but at the same time it’ll have a “survival” set of reins that will make me actually focus more because I’m in an unfamiliar place and really “on my own”…with no one to bail me out (aside from in a real pinch, the house owners or my Nanticoke co-worker who said take along his cell #  just in case).  I am a little afraid that I might get the rolled eyes and “Oh great…and American…” but from talking to the plant manager, the house owners, and a few other people, I think the locals will just be friendly and perhaps laid back like I wish the locals around here are.  I hope I meet someone that speaks German since I’m from a very German part of Pennsylvania.

    Patte Rosebank

    Nanticoke isn’t far from Port Dover, a lovely little resort town, most notable for the fact that, every Friday the 13th, bikers from all over the place ride in for a huge rally.  It’s one massive party, and it’s great for the local economy.  That’s why you’ll find some biker-themed shops there, amidst the gift shops & restaurants.

    It’s also not too far from Brantford, where you can visit the Bell Homestead (home of the inventor of the telephone).  It’s also Wayne Gretzky’s home town.  And it has a terrific frozen custard (like soft ice cream, but much denser) stand, called Dairy Delight.


    You’re bound to meet some German speakers in that area.  Kitchener-Waterloo hosts a big Oktoberfest every year.  It was featured in the climactic scene of the McKenzie Brothers movie, “Strange Brew”.

    If you get to Hamilton, you’ll find lots of German speakers at Denniger’s Foods of the World.  Denninger’s has several locations, including one in Jackson Square mall, which is about 10 minutes’ walk from the Hamilton GO Centre.

    They make their own deli meats  & other food products, as well as selling all sorts of imported European foods.  And they have a lunch counter, where you can get a nice big schnitzel mit sauerkraut!


    Blue Yugo

    Schnitzel!  Sehr gut!!  And the plant manager told me about Port Dover.  Although I won’t be there for a Friday the 13th, it is on my list of stuff to do.  There’s supposedly a restored trestle bridge that’s now part of a park/walking path.

    It’s actually a lot of the nature, hiking, and such that drew me to that area for my get-away (that, and somewhere that I could drive to in less than 1 day).  Forgive me for avoiding Quebec, but my sister went there for an F1 race and said they shunned her at places because she doesn’t speak French.  Hamilton seems a lot like Bethlehem, PA which is famed for its steel mill, now closed and the new heart of urban renovation in my area.  Historic mixes with contemporary, and preserved land and expanded public parks are booming.  I’ll probably only do one day in Hamilton, the rest at lakes and nature trails.  The fact that all elements have come together to make this a desirable destination while still giving me the empowerment of independence is the icing on the cake!

    I just got my final grade for my Biology 101 class and I passed with an 87.1%!! Next up…..Statistics class for the summer. 🙂

    Patte Rosebank

    Yesterday was a great day, in which:

    I discovered that, although I’ve fallen behind a bit in my weight-loss, I’m still losing weight.

    I walked a total of 6.3 miles.

    I went to a character voice workshop, and I did a group scene from “Care Bears”, with four young fellows. After we’d done it a few times, the instructor told us to try some different choices in our reads.  It was amazing how quickly I managed to inject some smut, with just a slight change in inflection & timing!  http://db.tt/YWJrtQvg

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