[dithl]

@helenboll — Wow, it would be hard to come up with childhood history. I think for me, I was able to remember procrastinating on assignments and messy notebooks. Talking to my mom about it was just very uncomfortable and not productive. My behaviour wasn’t “out there” like other family members. Being the “easier” child really stinks sometimes. Another “good girl” here. I don’t know if I would have been diagnosed if I had to provide “proof”. And I did very well with school structure, listened to teachers, loved to read, etc.
I hope you are able to sort this out. It really does highlight a problem with diagnosis as adults. Even though the new DSM-V criteria says that some of the symptoms must have been present before the age of 12 instead of the age of 7, for some of us, that kind of history is almost impossible to dig up. Especially considering the genetics that go along with ADHD — there is a good chance that someone who is seeking diagnosis as an adult had a pretty chaotic childhood. (My own case). In a household where clutter and disorganization is the norm, and one or more parent with possibly undiagnosed ADHD, who is going to even *notice* that quiet girl consistently loses pencils to do her homework?? (And then remember that 10, 15, 20 years later).
You said you “felt different” as a child — what about jotting down notes about what made you feel different and then looking through to see if you can connect them with the criteria for ADHD? Not re-writing you childhood to fit the criteria, but going back and looking at different incidents through that lense.
A few of my own examples
— Asking a teacher to help me find my mittens. Which were on my hands.
— Getting hit by a teacher for not listening to her instructions. (I had heard, but not processed her 2nd set of instructions because they contradicted her first set of instructions.)
— It took longer to learn new routines. Which is why in my first days at school they had to direct me away from the boys bathroom *twice*, and explain that boys and girls had different bathrooms in school. (You would think that just one time with that experience would have burned it into my memory!)
— “Is often forgetful in daily activities.” And I thought “I forgot” was just an excuse I used to get out of chores! 😉
— “Often has trouble holding attention on tasks or play activities.” I will never forget the look on my Dad’s face came around the corner to see our goats eating his precious seedlings. Which I had been ordered to guard. (Yes, the goats were just roaming free. Chaos, remember?) Believe me, given my Dad’s temper, I would have been highly motivated to protect those seedlings. But…seedlings don’t MOVE at all. OR sparkle. Obviously something else more interesting caught my attention.

Seems like grasping at straws, but maybe it would help? For me, most of the funny or just downright bizarre family stories about my Dad were textbook ADHD. At least that helped to show the history. For my own examples, thinking about when people reacted to me helps dig out the examples of my own “off-beat” behaviour, even though it was much more quiet and subtle.

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[dithl]

I prefer visual games too. @shutterbug, I am the opposite of you – you would absolutely shudder if you saw me play chess with my son. Hulk smash puny pawn. And puny knight. And puny other pawn. Etc. I don’t have the patience to analyze games intensely. I prefer playing by instinct -which can work quite well with spatial games but irritates the analytical. One could call it being too lazy to think, but I am really intrigued by the automatic thinking our minds do for us if we let them. I also like a little element of chance to keep things unpredictable. Perhaps preferring to react rather than plan.
I think the most intriguing games are the simple, elegant ones like go, or Pente, or even some simple card games which are accessible at any level of play, but the more you play the more strategy and patterns you see.

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[dithl]

I switched to a rule-based password after my generic one-size fits all easy to remember but not very secure password was compromised in an Adobe hack in the fall. Idea from the book “Life hacker” by Adam Pash.
1. Pick an easy to remember word.
2. Shift one key over or up or down for each letter (eg. cat shifted 1 to the right becomes vsy)
3. Add an easy to remember 2 or 3 digit number. (eg. 99) You now have your “base password”
4. For each site, add 2 or 3 letters from the site’s name (eg eBay: eba) (could be 1st 3, last 3, 2 first vowels, etc)
Voila! You now have a unique password for each site you visit. So, following my example, my password for eBay would be vsy99eba – satisfies most of those picky password requirements, no one would possibly guess it based on my personal details, looks totally un-memorizable, yet easy to remember each time as long as you stick to the same rule.

This is just one example of a set of rules to create passwords – lots of variety possible. Lifehacker.com might have more info.

And yes – “forgot password” button works too:-)

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[dithl]

Ha! @siege! Sounds familiar. Early yesterday morning, I was lying in bed, trying to get going, thinking that I really should have asked my partner what time he was getting up, so I could plan my morning. So I asked him, “What time are you getting up?” His response – he reached over and drummed his fingers on my arm in what I can only describe as a sarcastic gesture. That’s all I needed to trigger my memory. “Oh, right! You said 6:00!” At which point he muttered, “That’s the fourth time you asked me that.” 😀
Later on, when we were both awake, I told him “If you want it to stick, use cue cards”. I need a visual! It must be so much “fun” living with me at times…

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[dithl]

@malaika: How did you get through summers when you were still teaching? (I dread retirement because of what you describe.) School is so highly structured — yes, we have to plan to provide a lot of that structure, but a lot of it is external as well. Take away the structure….and it’s a free-floating muddle of unaccomplished stuff. That’s how my summers go anyway.

What about adding external structure to at least some of your days? Like joining an artist group for open studio time or an art class. Then you have a deadline of sorts in your day. So for example, get the housework out of the way so you can get to your class on time. You will also thrive more with the social contact, even though they won’t have the same energy as a classroom full of 8 year olds 🙂

And — phone calls can be managed…it’s okay to carve time out for yourself by turning off the ringer for 2 hours a day. They somehow managed when you were in the classroom all day;)

I would love to hear how you find balance (and you will). Mainly for selfish reasons – I will retire eventually, and I shall have to be a little less terrified of it by the time I get there!

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[dithl]

What’s the issue you’re trying to clear up? I am an info junkie, so I just looked this up – http://www.healthcentral.com/adhd/c/1443/134087/ssdi-benefits-adults/ and
http://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/12.00-MentalDisorders-Adult.htm#12_01
It looks like the SSI has its own set of defined disabilities. Depression is one of them, but adult ADHD is not (though childhood ADHD is).

So — my guess is that it’s easier to do the paperwork if you claim for depression instead of ADHD. (Yes, even if depression is linked to ADHD). Oh, those little bureaucratic run-arounds that drive us collectively up the wall because they don’t really make sense but they are still the hoops we have to jump through. Even though it feels like we are jumping through the wrong hoops.

Make sense?

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[dithl]

And now for something else completely different…

Just today I was wishing someone else was in charge of all the adult stuff around here. (Though if it were really so, I would hate it. I’m the boss of me!) We are all in our little silos of contained living, it can get so lonely and cumbersome. And then I imagined living in a residence. Like a senior’s home or a university dorm, but for anyone. Not having to cook, only having to keep one little area clean…it would have to be near some green space, and it would have little pockets of quiet space for people to de-stress. Maybe even a residence run for and by people with ADHD.

An ADHD commune!! What would that be like?

There would have to be enough people living there so that if one person forgot to take out the garbage then you’d have two or three back-ups. Same with bills. And groceries.

Definitely green space, that’s ADD-friendly. And windows and natural light.

A sound-proof room for parties, late-night conversations, or just the occasional screaming tantrum. With black-painted walls, of course, a black light, and a chalkboard with neon chalk. And a sound system with good bass.

In-house ADD coaches. Wake-up calls. Repeated wake up calls.

Good food. Nutritious, and all that. But a secret stash of chocolate somewhere. It would be contained in a safe that could only be opened by running on a treadmill for 20 minutes. I would be in the best shape ever!

Art classes, music classes, improv groups. All on a drop-in basis of course, with friendly reminders.

What else?

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[dithl]

@blackdog & @Evelyn, wow, your posts kind of detail how convoluted and scarey life can be with ADD. Getting anxiety just reading them. Then Evelyn comes back with that brilliant, brief bit of writing that just melts away anxious thoughts. And then I remember how beautiful life can be with ADD. My wish for both of you is that you have enough sunshine to get you through all the scarey stuff.

And Evelyn, THANK YOU! for mentioning f.lux.com. I had a similar app for my tablet, but not the computer, and I love it. It is easy on the eyes for sure.

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[dithl]

Remember playing? Playing tag, or better yet, hide and seek? Running everywhere because it was faster than walking? Riding a bike up and down the road for no reason, popping a wheelie, feeling the wind in your hair? Seeing how many somersaults you can do in a row until you are too dizzy?
I miss that. Why don’t adults play anymore? How do we get that back?

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[dithl]

@mbadd, I wasn’t diagnosed when I had my children so both pregnancies were med-free. Exhaustion was an issue for me – intended to fall asleep at the typewriter after lunch (yes, typewriter. *sigh*). And crashed early in the evening.

Are there time of the day when you are more alert and “with it”? Can you schedule your more demanding work then?

Do you have someone at work you can debrief with throughout the day? Just quickly talking over your caseload could help you catch anything and keep you on track.

Nutrition and exercise. A little awkward telling a pediatrician to eat properly, but you never know, I guess anyone could overlook it and nutrition plays a huge role in ADHD. Protein at breakfast, frequent re-fueling throughout the day can help with symptoms. Any quick forms of exercise to get the heart pumping can help keep you alert and functioning cognitively.

Good luck!

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[dithl]

@angelicdemon: Um, pfffft to your bf (no offense). But 2 years to “fix” all your issues. Nope. There is nothing to fix. You get to decide which things you want to work on to make better. But you will make the same mistakes or forget the same things again and again. And that is perfectly OK. It is how your brain works. There is no cure (or “magic pill” as Pam 13 said) that will make your ADD traits disappear. Hopefully you will find ways to work with them.

I was going to give you a pep talk about “screwing up”, but I have to admit that I still feel that way too. A lot less than I used too, but every time I leave work 1/2 hour late, 1 hour late, I get that sinking feeling again. There I go again being unreliable about time, and people at home are waiting for me. So I will save that pep talk for another time 🙂

Words sounding like a blob – ADHD often overlaps with auditory processing issues. So although your ears may hear fine, information can get a little scrambled somewhere between your ear and your brain. Sometimes (not always) it helps to limit background noise (turn off TV or radio if you are trying to hold a conversation, pay attention to noise levels around you when you are out and about).

I haven’t been assessed for it, but I am pretty sure I have mild problems with processing. I simply can not talk if the radio is on. Trying to hold a conversation in a noisy restaurant is extremely difficult, especially if there is a radio or TV on with an announcer talking. Being in a large group is always hard because it’s hard to follow the conversation. When I was younger, I tended to hone in on one person to talk to at a party because I felt lost in a group. I used to put it down to shyness but I think processing conversation with so much competing noise was a big part of the problem. It’s not quite the same as the blob of words you describe, but auditory processing issues take many forms.

Let me know if you want more info about it, I’d be happy to find some useful links to post.

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[dithl]

Done! Adding some directions because it took me a bit to figure out if I had to choose which category to vote in.

Hit big purple button, fill in name and email address and submit.
Tweet or share on Facebook if so desired.
Close twitter/Facebook box.

Repeat purple button procedure two more times in order to vote for each category (they pop up automatically).

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[dithl]

@sar316 – nope, it’s not obvious….I like your post and have to come back and read it again when I am more awake. Bwah. Beyond that I have no words. “I like it.” “Why?” “Because I like it.” Mental agility of sludge at the moment. G’night all 🙂

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[dithl]

@shutterbug55, thinking of you as you take all this in. Take good care of yourself. I found Dr. Aull’s definition interesting – Asperger’s is ADHD + anxiety + a language-based learning disability. I haven’t heard that definition before. Clearly our understanding of all of this is still evolving.

So many of the signs of Asperger’s are also signs of ADHD. Maybe the importance lies not necessarily in which label fits but in how underlying issues are addressed. Eg. Would there be a difference in how you would, approach difficulties interacting with people if you attribute it to Asperger’s rather than ADHD? Both require directly learning social cues that come more organically to “neurotypicals”, but perhaps there are aspects of Asperger’s you could exploit (eg. analysis) to make better progress.

At any rate, just FYI, I always enjoy your posts on here and you come across as an interesting, caring person. Just want to throw that out there because there can be so much negativity around Asperger’s and social skills. Don’t believe / internalize all of it 🙂

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[dithl]

@curlysue I like it. Especially how you are kind to yourself and acknowledge that some will happen, some will fall aside and some will change. For me, that has been a huge diff between pre- and post diagnosis. Failure to complete everything on a to-do list, big or small, was evidence of my own laziness / lack of stick-to-it-iveness, in my own mind, and part of an overall feeling of incompetence. I can’t even remember that mind space anymore. Ya, it’s still frustrating and a struggle to follow through on things, but it’s all part of ADD.

And now for the trivial part of my post…clearly in a drift head space this morning, because totally distracted by a typo in your list. Because of #6, I am imagining organizing to music…and now have this earworm going:

Oh, I played a minuet in G,
Yes, I did,
Yes I did.
Oh, I played a minuet in G,
And my mother’s very proud of me.

Um.

Sorry.

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