[dithl]

Good luck, @jojosephine! If good luck is even the right term. Hope you get a little shuteye.

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[dithl]

@sdwa: Maybe it was trying to deal with my torrential verbal downpour at the same time. You get 50 bonus points for writing in ADD-friendly bullet form 😀

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[dithl]

I was going to write, “It’s fun coming back to this site after being away for a week” — then realized I posted 2 days ago. ADD memory makes everything new again 🙂 Sometime I will try doing a summary of this thread…if such a thing is possible.

The bank messed with me today…they used to have 3 machines in a row, but now only 2. So I waltzed in, walked to the last machine, went to put my bank card in, and met a blank wall. Pirouette, go to line up, and see the little sign that says the 3rd bank machine is now around the corner. They be-fuzzled me so much that I proceeded to use my old password…from I don’t even know how many years ago.

Which is all apropos of nothing. @Evelyn, yep, any range of depth is most welcome here. Unfortunately, now that I’m back at work, I think I am using up all my capacity for deep thought there…not much profundity will be coming out of my fingers. Except maybe big words like profundity, if that’s a word at all…

@kc5jck, bleh…growing up, spoiled meat was boiled til any possible hitchhikers had confessed, ratted out their best friends and tied their own nooses…and then the meat was fed to the dogs. All very resourceful and respectful of food. But I will never get the stench of boiling “off” pork out of my memory cells. It filled the entire house….

We once had trespassers leave their pizza crusts in our composter. They must have hopped the back fence, crossed the yard, detouring to the composter, opening it in the dark (a feat in itself), and then continued on, hopping the locked gate on their way. Highly likely alcohol was involved. Or perhaps they were the same people who went in to my car to *leave* me an empty DVD case. I guess we call them the pizza/DVD non-bandits.

I am very jealous of metal chickens, even ones that can’t hold their liquor. I would also love weeping angels in the backyard…

The tags box seems to self-populate – unless someone added them? Right now it says “tangent carrots tomatoes watermelon burp”. Okaaaay everyone, who said “burp”? I thought we were a cultured lot…(!)

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[dithl]

@blackdog, no superstitions, they are too high-maintenance for me…life is complicated enough without throwing in extra random rules. (eg., are you supposed to throw salt over your left or right shoulder?) Not putting down those that do have superstitions, mind you, life is too interesting to have a closed mind to other ways of being.

How about recurring nightmares? Had my old standard again the other night…brakes failing on the car. This one wasn’t so bad — it just resulted in a whole lots of “rolling stops” at low speeds. They have been much worse in the past. Going backwards, in the dark, down hill, and speeding up instead of slowing down. Have woken up with heart pounding lots of times. Lots of subconscious meaning in there, I suppose. When I was first diagnosed, I loved reading the “race car with bicycle brakes” metaphor – it was my recurring nightmare! I can give myself the heeby-jeebies just thinking about it….

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[dithl]

@Larynxa: Thanks for this: “I’m usually really good at picking out a good watermelon by the sound it makes when you tap on it—sort of like the hollow-but-wet sound quality of a chesty cough.” Now I will forever associate watermelons with chesty coughs.

OHHHHH — chickens! Giant metal chicken — posting this link, it makes me laugh… http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

And @blackdog — wow, you do composting….so impressed. I keep trying, but I’m very good at growing mold and starting fruit fly colonies on the countertop with rotting vegetable matter that doesn’t make it to the composter.

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[dithl]

Oh, this is awesome! Very impressed that “weather” is still a teensy part of the thread after 8 posts…

…yep, I love the global connection….

… and it always comes back to the cats.

Speaking of cats and weather, in totally unrelated news, I think I get to go to Rick’s show in a couple of weeks. Coincidentally, my union is offering us tickets to it and subsidizing the cost for us. Love it when these things happen! 🙂

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[dithl]

I do so love you people.

@blackdog: only 3 hours – this time. Ya, I do try to stay away from internet til I’ve done other stuff…today the first thing on my to-do list involved printing off an email…
@Wgreen: Yep, I came on here to ask this question specifically, then saw your Twitter post.The other thing about Twitter…for those of who don’t blurt out because we are too busy trying to figure out what to say until it’s too late…it’s so time-consuming – not only do you have to figure out what exact message you want to get across, but then you have to edit it down to 120 characters without losing the tone…
@wanderquest: It *does* make me feel better 🙂

Maybe if I can come up with a “universal rule” that I can make stick. My morning rule works (mostly) — I am allowed up to 3 hits on the snooze bar, but then I have to get up. It works because my better half asked for it. It’s a simple limit, it’s more than fair, and it is *for* someone special.

So…I just have to translate a similar rule to this problem. After all, sleep and internet have about equal pull on me. If I can do it for sleep, I can do it for this. Love the ideas and commiseration, thanks for letting me “talk this through”…still no there but feel a little closer.

@kc5jck: Thanks for the links, I did a quick check for this issue in the “Strategies for Work” section but didn’t think to dig elsewhere. Ya, I hyperfocus on other things too. Makes getting away from work at a decent hour difficult. It’s good to remember that Adderall can exacerbate it. It was a problem before I got diagnosed and on meds, but something to monitor.

Now, about your second link….kit-kats and tequila in the freezer would work better than a Teletubby cat? Hmmm, I don’t know. No way of testing it though – I just gave up sugar for awhile…and 5 out of 8 people in my immediate family have alcohol addiction. I’m one of the lucky 3 who haven’t had any issues with alcohol. I think it’s pure luck, but still want to keep it that way 😉 (Though I do wonder sometimes about the distinction between hyperfocus and addictive behaviour.) Oh ya — and it’s probably highly unethical to surgically insert an iphone into the cat’s belly, so we wouldn’t be able to compare the two methods.

The more I talk, the more I am dooming myself to be the crazy cat lady.

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[dithl]

@wanderquest: YES!!!!! Thanks for sharing that….it has also been really difficult for me to totally accept it.

“But I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop and to be told I don’t really have ADD. I feel like an imposter because I got good grades 20yrs ago.”

I was labelled gifted, and told by the “gifted” teacher that my high score meant that I could do “anything I wanted to”when I grew up. Oh, how that one little remark haunted me over the years…I was SUPPOSED to be able to do anything, so why did everything feel like such a muddle?

I was the “good, smart, quiet” kid who got good grades without trying and faded into the background while some of my family went from dramatic crisis to crisis. With other major mental illnesses taking up family resources, I often felt / feel that my little ADD thing doesn’t “count”.

I like @blackdog ‘s “One of the best indicators of whether you have ADD is how others see you because they are more likely to see the traits than you are. And the fact that you are responding well to the medication is another good indicator.” Hopefully those ‘someones’ can be supportive, positive people…because, of course, bosses can be very good at pinpointing your ADD traits as well 😉

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[dithl]

Friends…another thing that involves planning, deciding, decision-making, communicating, remembering, turn-taking…it’s an ADD natural to struggle to maintain friendships. When I am doing a good job of it, I schedule time in to make contact, and have regular friend “dates”. But it is another job, on top of everything else, and easy to let slip…and to begin to feel like a hermit.

@Blackdog — ugh. I would hate that homework assignment…staring blankly at a computer screen sounds about right. Like the Disney movie vultures — Dumbo? Or Jungle Book? “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know – what do you want to do?” There are sometimes limitless possibilities for “what to do”, but nothing to steer me in the right direction.

@kc5jck: Cats can carry on quite a conversation.
“What’s up?”
“Mrew”
“Really?”
“Mrew”
“With four dogs AND a hamster?”
“Mreee-ew”.

Dogs, not so much.

“What’s up?”
Blank stare.

Or worse,
“What’s up?”
“WOOF! Walk? Sure, I’d love a walk!!! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s GO, GO GO!”
“NO, I said, ‘What’s up?'”
“Ohhh, I get it! You said COOKIE! Ya, ya, ya, I’d LOVE a cookie! NOW, NOW, NOW!!”
…and so on….

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[dithl]

Want to get the word out, this is a good a place as any. So I guess I’ll say I am grateful for noticing this tweet from Pete Quily about a free Kindle book by Dr. Charles Parker.

New #ADHD Medication Rules book on kindle can now be downloaded FREE for a limited time here http://t.co/wkiqnYiP73 — Pete Quily (@petequily)

It can be a bit fiddly if you haven’t used Kindle before, but it’s legit. Here is the link for Canadians:

. http://www.amazon.ca/New-ADHD-Medication-Rules-ebook/dp/B00A8IYLYA/ref=sr_1_9?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1377657977&sr=1-9&keywords=charles+parker

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[dithl]

@Blackdog: Whoa, sorry to hear about doc.

I went on Wellbutrin a few years ago b/c of depression. Because both it and Adderall (and other stimulants) are associated with a slightly higher risk of seizures, I had to go off Adder all first. *Not* fun when I drove over 3 hours a day for work. I was pulling over after 1/2 hour on the road in the morning to get coffee.

Anyhow, after the Wellbutrin was established, I went back on Adderall, raising the dose slowly.

I do find that the Wellbutrin helps with the “scatteredness” aspect of ADD – I weaned myself off it a couple of years ago b/c I had sorted out some the issues behind the depression, and it does interfere with my sleep a bit, and I was hoping to reduce meds.

It’s subtle, especially because you don’t feel it kick in, but there was a noticeable difference for me when I was off it. So, Wellbutrin it is.

Now, for the past 3 weeks I cut right back on stimulant meds because my doc suggested a “holiday”. I’m also on actual work holidays too so it’s hard to compare, but I think I am functioning somewhere in the realm between space cadet and Superwoman. If I have a plan for my day, it goes okay, but if not, it’s very easy to get stuck playing mindless games online and such.

So, I think Wellbutrin is effective for me, but in a way that’s hard to quantify – I could just tell the difference when I wasn’t taking it.

Not sure of any of this is helpful for you…yes, it is possible to be on more than one drug, but my doctor has been very cautious, and monitors blood pressure / heart rate each visit. It can be really frustrating when meds aren’t optimal, yet I would rather her be cautious because although serious side effects are rare, they’re pretty darn serious. Just in the past year she finally OK’d trying dexedrine in the afternoon because the Adderall was wearing off early. That has made a huge difference in my work performance and my ability to “be there” with my family in the evenings.

Seems since my dx 7 years ago, I just keep piling on more meds…and still keep intending to “one day” get regular exercise, as it is probably #1 effective prescription forADHD….

@distracted momma, sorry if I rambled too much in your thread. I’m one of those annoying people who has to watch their weight the other way – I will be a scarecrow when I’m 80….being off stimulants, I am finally back to my ideal weight. But sugar is my weakness….even though I know I feel better when I’m off it. That and nail-biting are the things I have tried to quit many, many times. For now I have quit trying to quit.

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[dithl]

@jojosephine and others pondering this whole being able to make it in the world of work thing….

I fully, absolutely believed that I would never be able to manage full-time work. I did the mom thing right off the bat, so didn’t have a whole bunch of work experience to draw from. But I spent my entire 20s and half of my 30s comparing myself to other working parents, and truly believed that part-time is all I would ever be able to manage. And imperfectly at that. Even before my diagnosis. I just thought that the whole working parent thing was a hoax, a trap to keep people unhappy but productive, part of the big economic machine, or whatever justifications I came up with in order to keep myself from feeling like I wasn’t living up to my potential. (It has been such a ground shift for me that it’s difficult to remember how I used to think).

I have to say that one of the most amazing, defining times of my life was realizing that I CAN! The year that the impossible became real.

True ADD – fashion, the realization came because it was a sink-or-swim situation. I began my first full-time career almost exactly one month after finding myself on my own, with 2 children to take care of, after 15 years of a fairly co-dependent marriage. I was terrified of losing our home. Failing at my work was simply not an option for me. I was extremely fortunate to have landed a job that fit and brought me together with wonderfully supportive colleagues.

Lots more detail than that, but I just wanted to share because that experience really taught me how powerful our thought patterns are. “Positive thinking” can sound so trite, but it literally changed my reality. I had help from amazing people who kept me thinking that I could do it. And boy, I did it!

I love my job and I struggle with juggling my two passions (my loves at home and my “borrowed loves” at work.) I am far from perfect at what I do and at times I feel like my house is falling down around my ears. But the question is no longer “Can I or can’t I work and be a good mom?”. Now it’s “What changes might I need to make in order to make life more balanced?”

@jojo, I was lucky enough to be able to get by without working too much when my kiddos were young. It’s awesome, and no, you never get that time back, so enjoy them while you got ’em! (My stinkers refuse to be 3 years old again. I sure miss those times). Trust “Other You” to be able to handle things when it’s time to get back into the workforce, and try to stay in the moment. Thanks for letting me wander through my memories, your story has really struck a chord.

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[dithl]

@distractedmomma ….good luck tomorrow! Driving 3 hours away, don’t forget to add:

10 minutes from gathering stuff last minute, out the door (longer if you tend to forget things and come back in for them)

20 minutes in case for construction/traffic problems

10 – 15 minutes to find a parking spot (unless you know there is plenty of onsite parking but still add 5 minutes to figure out parking)

10 minutes to gather all your stuff, and your son’s stuff out of the car.

Enough time for a snack and pee break if needed.

10 minutes for getting lost and refinding your way…

Those are just my estimates…maybe a bit on the generous side because you said it’s really important to make it on time. Aim for at least 1/2 hour early if you can, hopefully you can find something to do with your son in the area if you do actually have to wait….

Checklist of everything you need for the trip, eg, wallet, cash, phone, health cards etc, and phone number of doc’s office in case you do run late. Double check it before you start driving.

Good luck — and *enjoy* the adventure:-)

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[dithl]

Wow, what a cool exchange. Way to go, all, and good luck K.

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[dithl]

Hi, I just want to pull a couple points to comment on, because to me, it speaks to the difficulty of managing ADHD,

@K, Daddyrocks wife, you said, “I can’t make them follow the routines I set up or the strategies I encourage or anything.”

@kc5jck responded with “Strategies are not like easily adopted bad habits. You can’t do the once and expect them to stick. Agree on those you think will help, and stay on top of your family until they get ingrained with their behavior.”

I have been “doing” ADD for 8 years now…and have probably tried easily over a hundred different strategies. Everything from hanging my keys on a big fob on a hook beside the front door (worked!) to making several different versions of chore lists (um…still in progress) to using “Leechblock” to limit my time on-line (did NOT work for me, too easy to sabotage…)

My strategy “fail” count is much, MUCH higher than my strategy “success” count. If I was to roughly estimate, probably at least 20 attempts per success. However, overall, I consider that I’m managing ADHD well. Sometimes I give up for awhile on a certain attribute I am trying to manage (e.g,. my sleep schedule is totally out of whack right now, which is fine because I don’t have a lot of demands at the moment).

Some strategies are easy, and a perfect fit right away.

Some strategies don’t work right away, but with a little tweaking and persistence, they become routines that just fade into the background and make everyone’s life easier.

Some strategies just don’t work for the individual. Give it up, move on, cross your fingers that you will find something to help with the problem you’re targeting.

It can be hard to distinguish between those last two. How long do you stick with a strategy until you decide it just doesn’t work? Two weeks? Longer? Add to that the fact that once novelty wears off, motivation to stick with the strategy plummets.

So…I guess my point here is that “strategy management” is a life-long experimental process. Some stick, some don’t. New situations will create the need for trying out new strategies. And part of the nature of ADD is that we will abandon some that maybe could have worked. And at times fail to observe when they are working, or not working. Sometimes we just don’t want to try. Until a crisis hits us in the face.

I am not even going to try to imagine what it’s like from the outside…especially with three in the house. I don’t know if any of this helps, but thought I would try to add perspective from the inside…

And I agree — it’s good to have you as members. And you *totally* rock for working on your degree 🙂

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