[jancave]

@Johntherunner – I wanted to reiterate what @Larynxa said.  I have found venting in the forum to be  cathartic when I am upset.  People care and a response will come.  Writing out the feelings helps me release some of them and gives me some breathing space while I wait for support.

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[jancave]

I’m on the generic version on Concerta, spelling it is always an issue.. Methylphenidate  54mg, 2 in the morning.  I was diagnosed at age 55 so getting the meds was an issue.  My doctor has to get authorization from the insurance, only a 30-day supply, no refills, must have a written prescription, etc.   I was a bit snarly in the beginning but it’s made such a positive difference for me.  The impulsive spending/eating has stopped.  I’ve lost about 70 pounds without a whole lot of effort.  I still tend to babble but at least I know it’s happening.  The co-pay jumped to $92 and I ran out and realized how much it was helping and called around until is found out I could do mail order for a $20 co-pay.  A real pain but worth the $70 savings.  I get chronic migraines that are unrelated to the ADHD but do feed my anxiety so I’m not leaving the house very much these days.   I don’t have any friends and separated from my family long ago,  but find I’m pretty comfortable being alone.  Gives me time to figure out what ADHD is and getting order in in my life; physically, financially and emotionally.   With the migraines I don’t feel well a lot so that takes time.  When I first got the diagnoses I dove in and got very overwhelmed with all the input.  Too many book, webinars and input.  I discovered I had blocked out a lot of abuse and floodgates were opening and rage was pouring out.  I wasn’t sure if it was the meds or me or both.  So I backed off from this website, the books and webinars and processed some things.  Unfortunately there are no support groups in my area, nor have I been able to find a therapist who works with adults with ADHD.   I was really angry about the diagnosis, 20 years of seeing a psychiatrist and therapists and asking what is wrong with me and the best answer they had was you’re fat.  Lose weight and all your problems will be gone.  Well except for the first therapist who said after five years of therapy that if I would just accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior my life would be fine…oh, and lose weight.  Excuse me?  Finally accepting I can’t change the past, I only have now and I really like my generic Concerta.  😉

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[jancave]

Wow! I can also relate.  Unfortunately I have no answer to your question either.  I would like to add communication issues I find confusing is 1) the person who won’t communicate an issue they have but just leaves the friendship and I have no idea the issue so we can fix it or to part amicably.  2) the person who I asked a question to clarify an issue and they claim I have hurt their feelings and never speak to me again.   And these aren’t one time occurrences, so I know I have a part to own but I can’t figure out what it is.

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[jancave]

@kc5jck

If she adds chocolate then I’m #$%$# in.  :=)

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[jancave]

@Larynxa

Great minds!  I submitted one too!

If jumping to conclusions counts as exercise I would be in such great shape.  Lol

Thank you for submitting the request, so thoughtful of you.  I don’t want to go through another night like that.

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[jancave]

@blackdog

Oh that’s too funny.  I hope you did left out the freaking out part.  But I was thinking the same thing about I’ve been playing well with folks on this website so maybe I can play well with others and express myself instead of holding things in, etc.    And then I thought I @#$# you off.  lol

Well, now I’m back to hopeful again.  I even put the picture back up of me and my Maggie.

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[jancave]

@blackdog

I’ve had a migraine for several days and am rather exhausted.   The stuff I wrote regarding Rick’s comment has been bubbling inside and I needed to get it out so I’m not sorry I wrote it.  But your response came to me through email.  And I’ve learned today that email doesn’t print the entire comment made.  (This is supposed end up humorous but I’m kind of babbling here)  I don’t know why but in the email version of your response it didn’t type out a word but stuff that often is inserted instead of a swearword like: @#$@*  so I thought you were swearing at me or call me a name.  I was shocked and surprised.  You had seemed so nice.  I was so shocked and surprised that I didn’t read the actual response you wrote here.  I was too busy trying to get off of this website.  I am unfocused enough with the ADHD but toss in a migraine and I’m kinda useless.   I was so busy freaking out, I wasn’t thinking at all.   It wasn’t until this afternoon I read your response here on the website and realized it was your usual thoughtful, nice perspective that involved no swearing.  Wow, I went off on the deep end on that one….

So I gotta say that I just hate even more when I AM wrong 😉

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[jancave]

My apologies

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[jancave]

@Rick

I realize you’re very busy and perhaps didn’t have time to read the entire original post but part of your response has been confusing to me.  The person I wrote about is not a spouse nor were we in any type of romantic relationship.  There was no resolution, no further communication with him, no happy ending.  What he wrote was not a “hint” into his feelings; his anger, hurt and upset were clearly articulated in his email to me.

I agree that time alters perspective.  And I cannot change his feelings, I only have control over my own.

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[jancave]

@mbadd

What he said was mean, there were a lot of mean things written in the email.  What I found puzzling was that the stuff written were not his style and read like they were based on hearsay.  I think his mother either wrote it or was very involved.   I don’t need that in my life.

On a brighter side another person has reappeared and shown an interest in learning more about my ADD.  She wants to have lunch so I asked if she would be willing to come to my house and we could watch the video together.  I’m hopeful

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[jancave]

@Mimi Gibson

i have one dog and two cats.  My dog is my best friend.  She is what a friend calls a once in a lifetime dog.  She rarely barks, she has an infectious joy of life.   My first dog as an adult was a black lab I got from a rescue place.  I read books about labs, I read books about how to adopt a dog from a shelter and I did everything the books said.  Unfortunately, he didn’t read any of the books.  So he didn’t know he was supposed to be 70 pounds at most.  He topped out at 110 pounds and when he stood on his hind legs could look me in the eyes.  He was uncontrollable except by the 20 year old cat who would smack him in the face and he would return to his  cage.  He bit me three times.  The next dog was sweet but had other issues.  I learned to ask my Vet to find me animals and he loves labs and found my Maggie.  She adores him, he gets on the floor and plays with her.  She does have one bad habit of killing bunnies and squirrels.  She doesn’t waste anything, she eats them.  She was a Katrina dog and I suspect she needed to find food and developed a taste.  The squirrels have learned to stay out of my yard, bunnies are not so bright.

The cats? They use me as a warmer or lay on top of the furnace register blocking the heat.  I can’t imagine what the heating bill will be.

But they all make my life so much better.

@blackdog

thank you for sharing about not being ready because I feel comfortable saying that the tires on the snow blower have been flat for three years.  I have taken procrastination to an art form.

My animals get me through so many tough times.  I hope things change for you soon so you can manage one soon.  It’s very hard to care for them when you don’t feel well.  I have chronic migraines  and my confusion gets worse so I keep a folding chair by the back door and sit in the chair while the dog is outside so I don’t forget she is there.  Usually that means that she sits outside watching me watching her but we are all safe.

It has been snowing again and there is more than two feet of snow.  I have a migraine and just had no energy for moving snow.  My very kind neighbors did the driveway, it’s very cold.  I’m so fortunate to have them. Tomorrow the high is supposed to be -9 degrees.  I’m glad I don’t have to go out anytime soon.

@dithl

Thank you for reading it.  I like to write, it’s even better when someone enjoys it.

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[jancave]

@Rick

Thank you for the perspective.  I am reminded of a poem I forgot a long time ago.  It’s short yet packed full of wisdom:

“Everything I say and do is a statement about me and not about you”

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[jancave]

Hmm, it seems to me that you are doing your best and that is all anyone can ask of you.  If your boyfriend wants more then that would be his responsibility.  (Please understand I don’t have a boyfriend or any friends for that matter so I’m not an authority on boyfriends).  But do your best, breathe calmly and when your guests arrive, smile  and tell them you have done your best to make their visit pleasant.

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[jancave]

Could you call/email them and say something like “So glad you’re coming but boyfriend didn’t tell me your preference on motel chain so I can make a reservation for you.   Oh and here is the telephone number for the local Taxi who will pick you up from the Airport.”

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[jancave]

@dithl

I’m so sorry.

@blackdog is right, take good care of you.

My father was in the hospital for two years after a stroke.  We had never gotten along in life, but were able to heal so much in those two years.  We didn’t talk much, he held my hand, something he had never done in life.  I treasure the time we had together.

Please keep sharing…..

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[Author]

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