[purlgurl]

Hi Clive – I guess how your GP will react will depend on how he reacts in general to you bringing concerns to him. My GP/Mr. purlgurl’s is a youngerish guy, and he tends to be pretty open about us coming in and going, “I’ve been doing some thinking about/reading about x, and I wonder…” So, I was a bit nervous about going to see him and saying “I think I might have ADHD, and I talked to a therapist, and she thinks I might have ADHD, and that might be at the root of my depression”, but he was cool with it.

He asked me some ADHD-specific diagnostic questions (I should note that I had had the depression dx for a long time when he became my family doctor, so we’d never gone into that in tremendous detail), said that it might be possible, gave me a prescription for Ritalin to try out, a referral to a psychiatrist, and said that if I noticed a difference in functioning on the Ritalin, that would be a pretty good clue about ADHD, and if not, we could look at the anxiety disorder side of things. He asked me to come back in two weeks, or sooner if anything urgent arose. I *did* notice a difference with Ritalin on the first day, and the rest is history! So, it might not be as bad as you’re thinking, and if your doctor isn’t receptive, definitely seek out a second opinion. Good luck!

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[purlgurl]

Hi Daniel! Welcome! I am 28, and was diagnosed last summer, and it has changed my life. I am in school (occupational and physiotherapist assistant), and I work as an adapted aquatics instructor at a children’s rehab hospital. As such, I run into a lot of the issues you mention – long-range lesson plans (for the programs I head/lead instruct), day-to-day lesson plans, report cards, and disability reports (our internal documentation).

I’m not going to lie – even though I’m on Ritalin SR, this area isn’t one that I excel in. In fact, I’m just finishing up the week of “report card due dates”, and I only managed to get 1/5 days in on time. I’m very lucky that I’m really good at teaching – it makes my bosses much more tolerant of overdue paperwork – and I’ve been open with them about having ADHD, so they understand that this is a legitimate problem area for me. This was easier when I wasn’t in school too (or was bombing at school, which amounted to the same thing – more time for report cards), but as this is going to be the next few years of my life, I’m working on it.

What helps me is having a friend (volunteer ADD coach) who tries to help me stay on-track/kicks my butt when I’m not doing what I need to do. Also, I’ve asked my bosses to help me set mini-deadlines for things, so that I’m not just focused on the big deadlines. Lesson planning has become easier over the years – how long have you been teaching? I’ve been in this field for ~4 1/2 years, and the lesson plans that used to take an entire (painful) evening to create now take only a few minutes (I’m sure the Ritalin helps with that too).

I am eager to hear ideas from anyone else who chimes in on this thread!

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[purlgurl]

(I’m mostly asking this because I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at 16, operating on the assumption that it was just my wonky brain chemistry causing me to be sad all the time – a large number of doctors, counsellors, therapists, teachers etc. who worked with me never said “Hmm, might be ADD” – I didn’t get the diagnosis ball rolling until *I* figured it out for myself. I wouldn’t think it impossible for my situation to occur “in reverse”, as it were.)

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[purlgurl]

This might be a silly question (I really hope it’s not an offensive one), but are you sure you have ADHD? Other disorders (depression, anxiety, OCD), or out-and-out stress, can also cause organizational and inattentive symptoms, and you most likely wouldn’t notice a therapeutic effect from the stimulants if that’s the case.

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[purlgurl]

*Waves hand* I’ve been up and down (highest = 228 lbs, lowest = 169 lbs, current weight = 192 lbs) over the last 10 years. I find that WeightWatchers really works for me (I even achieved “Lifetime” status at 169), but as soon as I go off-program (when I get stressed out with school/work/life), the weight comes back on. I really need to journal and track both my food and my exercise, and I know that I feel so much better when I do…but…

I haven’t found this to be significantly easier on medication – but my schedule is “stupid busy” at the moment (work hours 25/week and going to 35/week at the end of March, class hours 13/week, commuting hours ~16/week, freelance hours ~3/week, study hours – whatever I can fit in), so I’m trying to be kind to myself, and recognizing that getting back on track will be significantly easier when the end of April rolls around.

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[purlgurl]

Hmm…I’m a bit skeptical, based on my own recollections, but mainly because I think that this would be an extremely hard-to-test-and-falsify theory – what “counts” as “early adversity”?. He gives the example of Nazi occupation – if his theory is correct, the adversity doesn’t have to be quite that extreme, so where is the line drawn?

As far as I know, my early years were good – intact family, parents who loved/love me, brother born when I was two who apparently I got along really well with. Obviously I can’t remember, but “knowing” my mom in later years, I have to assume that she was pretty great back then too. Had a Nanny who I vaguely remember, who also seemed pretty awesome. I was a bit “different” in school right off-the-bat, and had some struggles with making friends, but I think that was partly the undiagnosed ADHD and partly my own personality (I am sensitive, perfectionistic and passionate about my “causes”) – once I became more self-aware in my teens and reined in some of the “craziness”, I did much better with my peers.

I am 100% in favour of treating oneself and others with compassion. And I do believe that the social, institutional, and environmental causes/contributions to various diseases and conditions really need to be talked about a lot more, and a ton of work needs to be done there (I think it’s not happening to a large extent because making significant changes in those areas is so bloody difficult – too many entrenched interests – but I digress…).

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[purlgurl]

abslt0, I found that it really hurt me when he suggested that. Luckily, he no longer is, now that I am actually doing well in school, etc. One thing I took away from that experience was the memory of how much it hurt when it felt like someone whose opinion I valued seemed to stop believing in me – so I really try to emphasize in my work with kids and adults with disabilities how much I believe in them and their capabilities. If they want to do it, it’s my job to help them make it happen!

Regarding telling the “it”, I noticed a big difference when I started on the Ritalin SR, within half an hour. When I stepped outside my door to walk to the subway and go to work, it was totally like I had been living in an impressionist painting without realizing it – I actually *noticed* all of these details that I hadn’t even realized that I had been missing. With the “not it” (Concerta and Biphentin), I noticed pretty quickly that they weren’t doing much for me, but I don’t know if I would have if I hadn’t had the Ritalin SR experience to compare them with.

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[purlgurl]

I am somewhat skeptical of MB personality testing, but doing one of the online assessments linked through typologycentral (very interesting forums!) I am INFP (http://typelogic.com/infp.html), and I did feel that significant chunks of the description fit me really well. As a data point for the I/E ADD/ADHD conversation, I am ADHD-Combined (scoring pretty high in restlessness and impulsivity, as well as the inattention – I’m just a big old mess! , but I am most definitely an introvert.

For example, I am *really* busy, and my commuting time is some of my only “me” time to read a book or listen to music or watch TV on my iPod. Especially when I am stressed out, I need to apologize to my co-commuting classmates on the bus for being “rude” and burying my nose in a book – and if someone insists on trying to make conversation, I get really really annoyed. I have changed my commuting schedule, arriving at work early, so that I don’t wind up on the same bus as my coworkers, and lose my precious downtime. Now, most of the people I interact with are flabbergasted that I am an “I” – this line from the profile that I linked to – “INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy” *definitely* rings true, because I work with people, and I really do enjoy it – but my husband suffers when I get home and all I want to do is veg in front of the TV/computer/with my knitting.

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[purlgurl]

I think that there are some online life coaching services? Might be less spendy? Do you have a friend who would be willing to be your “ADHD/Life Coach”? I have a friend who has been willing to take on that role, and she has been a huge help to me – we set out boundaries for our “friendship” interactions, and our “coaching” interactions, and so far, it has worked out well. We do a lot of the “coaching” via email, because she and I are both crazy-busy most of the time.

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[purlgurl]

Also, regarding your list of things that you’re good at, I was in the same boat at the end of high school/through much of my 20s (it made settling on any one thing really really difficult!). What it took to make me realize that there were some things that I was “extra” good at, and that made me happy, was finding myself in a job that used those skills. So, experimenting with different work (as long as you can pay the bills!) can be a very valuable tool for self-discovery. Related to the above suggestion to see a counselor if you can, I know that Dr. Jain is always talking about how one of the essential elements of ADHD treatment is building self-esteem – I bet you have more assets to bring to a workplace than you think you do, and that probably a lifetime of “you’re not living up to your potential”-type comments has done a bit of a number on your sense of self-worth.

I would also suggest trying to eliminate “supposed to” from your vocabulary (and I know how tough that is – I have a list of regrets a mile long, and the little voice that says “You’re supposed to own a house by now, you’re not supposed to have so much debt, you’re not supposed to cause your husband so much stress, and you’re not supposed to be in school – or if you are, you’re supposed to be in a PhD program, etc. etc.”). It is a seductive voice, but listening to it is not productive – things are the way they are, and today is what it is – I *try* to learn from the past, and then let it go (much easier now that I can focus on thinking about the past!). Are the things that I like now the “right things”? I’m happy with my work, I’m happy with where I’m going, I feel like I am making a contribution to society, and I have people who do respect me despite the lack of letters after my name (including a friend who is a PhD student .

A suggestion for trying out crafting – have you considered opening a shop on Etsy? Or even starting your own online store? (This is the website of an acquaintance: http://www.anatomyofaskirt.com/ – she has to work hard, but she loves what she does.)

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[purlgurl]

Hey briochick – I work in a children’s rehab centre, in a job that is probably the most “perfect for me” one that I have ever had (caveat: I love kids, and have a lot of patience with them; also, I love being in the water).

I work in the pool as a lifeguard and instructor. I see different kids (for the most part) every day; my groups change every 30 minutes; there are four sessions each year, so things get “re-set” and I wind up with some new kids/some returning kids 4x/year; I get to sing and be goofy and throw kids in the air; I get to be physical; and I get to be *very* creative (figuring out how to teach/modify skills for a particular child with a particular disability can be a real brain-bender). And sometimes, as a lifeguard, I get the adrenaline boost of a rescue/first aid situation.

After trying *many* post-secondary programs in my 20s (I think I’m 28-going-on-19 – I really like your phrasing , I am studying Occupational and Physiotherapy Assisting – in a lot of ways, doing what I do now, with more knowledge of anatomy/physiology/kinesiology, and not just working in the pool. Many of the people I work with comment on how “wise” I am (one of my classmates told me that I “exude knowledge”) – I definitely know what it’s like to be a Renaissance Chick, and I’m lucky to have found myself in a job that lets me use many of my abilities every day (with minimal paperwork . This may or may not be helpful to you – I would second ADDled’s advice about looking for some outside assistance (if $$$ allows) – even a “regular” counselor would probably be able to guide you through a process of reflecting on your strengths, and figuring out what to do with them. Good luck!

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[purlgurl]

Decided to edit first post instead of making new one!

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[purlgurl]

I’m sorry that it’s not working out for you, mannyc79. I kind of “lucked out” in the drug lottery – while waiting to see a psychiatrist for confirmation of an ADHD diagnosis, my family doctor tried me on Ritalin SR, and it happened to work for me *really* well.

I have now tried Concerta and Biphentin (to see if I would be able to take 1 pill/day instead of 3), and in both cases, they did *not* work. I never realized how much of a “mess” I probably was before – when I was on C/B, I had trouble paying attention in lectures, trouble remembering household chores, trouble getting up in the morning, etc. However, I do view it as a positive that in those cases I *recognized* that I was turning into a mess, and took steps to correct it. My meds now are SR 20mgx3/day, and I am also on Wellbutrin for longstanding depression (along with Vitamin D, Omega 3-6-9, and multivitamin supplements) – in the spring (once my semester is over), we may try to replace the WB with Strattera, but if that doesn’t work out, I’m happy to stick with my current meds. I should note that I have not experienced any episodes of depression since the summer (6ish months depression-free is a record for “me ages 16-28”).

Regarding the side effects, I noticed that I had a very dry mouth when I first started Ritalin – several months in, that has pretty much gone away. I also noticed some appetite suppression – my appetite is coming closer to “normal” (normal for me), but sometimes I’m not hungry when I think I *should* be, or I’m full faster. Since I tend to pack on pounds, especially in the winter, I view this as a bit of a plus now – it was just problematic when I first started, and had a few low blood sugar cranky/ill episodes because I hadn’t eaten enough during the day.

All this is by way of saying that it’s entirely possible that the Adderall doesn’t work with your particular physiology. Don’t give up! There are plenty of options to try! I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

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[purlgurl]

I have! I work with children with disabilities (and without), and I had a really rough time last fall (feeling overwhelmed *all* the time, depressed, etc. – and this is work that I really enjoy most of the time!). After going through the ADHD diagnosis process, and reflecting back on that time, I realized that I had had very “attention-intensive” groups (very young, complex disabilities), without very many/any “break” groups (older kids, less complex disabilities, etc.) during my shifts.

So, I talked to the supervisor in charge of scheduling before *this* fall (’09) began, explained my theory about Fall ’08, and asked her, when possible, to schedule me with alternating groups during my shifts. Sometimes that’s not possible, just because of the kids who happen to sign up for a particular day, but she has made a real effort and I think it has made a big difference to my quality of life and stress levels. Also, I get some leeway on non-urgent paperwork (i.e. filling out reports to go to parents – urgent, filling out my reports for other staff – not as urgent), but I have to say that I think I get that leeway because I am an excellent staff person (99% of the time . Our department manager was thrilled for me when I got my diagnosis, because I felt so great about how the puzzle pieces of my life were fitting into place, and she has written two reference letters for me for scholarships particularly for people with disabilities.

Things that I think make it easy(er) for me to get accommodations: I am really good at my job (I have been lucky enough to find work in which I can shine, and I am taking a related program in school to expand my scope of practice); I work in a health care facility for children with disabilities (disability-accepting workplace culture, and belief in transcending disability); I am not afraid to ask for accommodations when I need them, and I definitely have the confidence to advocate for myself . I do *always* try to prepare a plan for how something might work out before taking a request to a supervisor/prof/etc. – this summer, I designed for myself a 3-year plan to complete a 2-year diploma (with medical documentation supporting a request for a reduced course load) – apparently my plan may become the basis for an “official” 3-year option, which makes me really excited! We have ADHD, and we are creative people – play to your strengths when asking for accommodations.

I recognize that this combination of factors does put me in a privileged position, and that getting accommodations can be MUCH harder in other kinds of workplaces. But my experience so far has been pretty positive.

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[purlgurl]

YESYESYESYESYESYESYES, my life has been completely changed by having the ADHD diagnosis.

Like you, I had had a very long history of depression (we think due to the fact that I finally “hit the wall” when I was 16 as far as coping with the symptoms of the then-undiagnosed ADHD). I have been in-and-out of so many college and university programs over the last 10 years. This summer, after a big blow-up with my husband (which resulted in me seeing a new therapist, and which triggered my thoughts about possibly having ADHD, which got this whole ball rolling), he (my husband) was even at the point where he was encouraging me to start looking for full-time jobs in fields like food services in hospitals (unionized, with benefits). Knowing what I know now, this probably would have been a *total* disaster.

Luckily, I did persevere through getting the diagnosis, and starting on medication. At first, he was skeptical (because so many depression treatments had seemed to work for a while, and then not), but we were able to pop some champagne last night because of my first completely successful post-secondary semester *ever* (I completed four courses, probably all with A/A+ final grades, and I really enjoy the program I’m in). The counsellor I’m working with at school says he never would have guessed that I had a history of depression, based on our sessions (I’m working with him now that I’m doing well to make sure that I stay that way). I actually feel honest-to-goodness HAPPY (I still have down days, just like anyone, but they’re not hide-under-the-blankets-can’t-even-take-a-shower-or-brush-my-teeth days anymore). I still have regrets, from the things that I messed up over the last decade, and we’re still plowing our way through a *mountain* of debt, more than half of which was accumulated by me. But I do not think, anymore, that I am doomed to failure, and neither does mr. purlgurl.

I am not an expert, but I would really encourage you to try to find someone to work with regarding your obsessive thoughts/ruminations – even starting with your family doctor. I’m sure you know this, but the thoughts are not accomplishing anything positive – in fact, they are almost definitely making things worse. Also, they are probably a symptom of depression, more than a part of *you*. Good luck with everything.

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