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So glad you found it useful! Let us know how it goes! Firefox has been my browser of choice for years now.

Internet research is my bigger downfall. I do a lot of mindless surfing too, but I love to research and find avenues of information other than wikipedia.

My worst internet research ‘coma’, was when Katrina hit. I love weather and days before CNN was on the bandwagon, I was following the storm. More interested in the science than the drama. I spent every hour I wasn’t at work (and some while I was) on my couch with computer on my lap and at least two windows and over 20 tabs open to a variety of sites from NOAA, to National Geographic, to a very technical meteorologists forum where I only understood about 1/4 of what I read, plus I was flipping back and forth between CNN (which I usually hate) and various other news outlets on the tv. Once it became more of a human story, I was also on itunes listening to police radios in New Orleans.

At the time I was able to educate a lot of people about the basic science of the storm and the levees and the importance of not messing with natural shorelines, but looking back I realize how downright obsessive I was. I barely ate or slept for about 5 days. Work was a MAJOR inconvenience to me.

I actually started looking into taking a meteorology course and getting into the field. Perfect career change for an event planner, right? (yeah, I plan events for people – will discuss that another time on another thread)

Now I still check the radar instead of the weather network, and I do pop onto NOAA to see what hurricanes are coming, and still have occasional dreams of going storm chasing, but I definitely played out the intensity of that particular hyper-focus.

Wow, what the hell took me so long to realize that there was something bigger going on in my brain?? The signs have been lit in neon for a long time now!

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@wolfshades – Why wouldn’t the psychiatrist treat you? That seems unfair. Like getting a recipe from a world-class chef and then giving it to a short-order cook to prepare. (no offense to any family docs reading!!) At least you can feel confident in your diagnosis, and glad to hear that you are finally in treatment. Another example of how each person’s path is very different, so I am learning.

@quizzical – I’m not sure those specific categories will work for me, but I like the idea. Hope to have time between now and Monday morning to sit quietly alone and make a list! I too go a bit blank in the doctor’s office without some notes. I would suspect that will be particularly true this time around as the issue is so multi-faceted.

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The thought of going through my mountain of boxes in search of the report cards that I know are in there is terrifying! I could get swallowed up in that for weeks!

For now I think I’ll just try to put together a list of effects/incidents that stick out from my childhood, and the things that have been plaguing me for my adulthood. The more research I do, the more I remember. And sometimes when I say it out loud it sounds silly. Like the time I stood over the kitchen sink for the better part of a day with a big bowl of strawberries that my parents wanted me to clean while they were out. Think I did it as they pulled in the driveway. Panic & fear of reprecussions are my best motivators. I’m sure I did a hundred other things that day, continually coming back to the strawberries, unable to do the job. Actually might have been the day I set up a still-life photo session in the living room….

Anyway, I know I’m going to feel more than a little ridiculous telling stories like that, but that’s my experience…

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I haven’t had the guts to try it out yet, but came across a post yesterday about a firefox add-on that lets you block out a website for a set amount of time, or at specific times. It seems like it would be a good thing if you need to avoid getting sucked into the usual suspects (facebook, ebay, totallyadd !!).

http://adhd-md.blogspot.com/2011/01/leechblock-firefox-add-on-that-just.html

There’s the post – she explains it well.

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Yes! A list – definitely! The list is a bit overwhelming when I stop and think about it for too long. Perhaps I’ll start a list today and add to is as things come to mind. (provided I remember where I leave the list…..and that I even created one….)

And Monday morning….an hour from where I live….maybe not the smartest way to start this off, but it’s so important to me that I’m sure I’ll make it. Will start now to tell myself appointment is at 10am instead of 10:30.

@billd – I tend to be super-empathetic, but I would actually hope that a doctor would question why now? What’s the catalyst? But perhaps your doctor didn’t ask it in a way that made you feel he was on your side, which is very unfortunate. I’m hoping for a good reception, but I worry about my ability for fight for myself. Great at defending others, not always so good at doing it for me.

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Well – Yay me! I have an appointment with my old family doctor on Monday morning. It’s a family practice unit attached to a teaching hospital and they have historically been at the forefront of medical knowledge, so I am not overly concerned that I will be brushed off as I’ve heard some are when they first talk to their docs.

This is the fastest I’ve moved on anything in ages! Helped to talk to my mom last night. Doesn’t matter how old we get, moms have a way of motivating us!

Any suggestions on how to approach this first vist? I’ve let them know that I’m coming in to discuss the first steps to an ADHD assessment, but is there anything else I should prepare before I go?

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I am undiagnosed as of yet, but I do experience this loss of words. Writing seems to work ok for me for the most part – although I always proofread, and frequently rewrite, even when sending a text or email.

The worst is in a meeting when I interrupt to get my point in, then halfway through a sentence I hit a stall. Mind goes blank, then I get hyper-aware of everyone looking at me and waiting for the next word, which makes it worse. Making little notes about what I want to say sometimes helps. Then once I get the floor, I know why I was so desperate to speak!

I too would love to know if this is something that meds will help with, or if I just have to suck it up.

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@billd – I’ll be happy to give you some pointers! (when I get around to it…)

@lucky – you are indeed from the sounds of things! I will look into the payment plan concept. Didn’t even occur to me! I may also talk to a family member. There are some things you don’t want to borrow money for, but this actually seems like one of those things that it would be silly to do without if there’s a chance of some help. I know if I could lend myself the money I would in a heartbeat!!

It is very disheartening to experience the drawbacks of our healthcare system. Money talks as they say.

I’ve also had private insurance suggested to me, so perhaps I’ll look into that too. (Or maybe I’ll have @billd do it for me tomorrow!)

@no_dopamine – I like your attitude! I’m in the process of shifting from regret and loss to joy at the prospect of a new beginning. I already feel a bit of a sense of relief and am letting go of some of the guilt that’s plagued me for every time I’ve let someone down.

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Thanks to both of you for your comments!

I definitely want to get a proper assessment, but the process to get there is daunting. If I could afford it, I’d make an appointment at the clinic I was in touch with as I liked their wholistic approach and multi-faceted approach to treatment. However, one of my issues is an inability to manage my finances, and I simply can’t see how to pay for it. So, I’m left with working through the public health system as best I can.

Admittedly I’m feeling rather impatient at this stage. I’ve been feeling a lot of grief for the 40 years I’ve struggled through, and I just want to be able to start working towards a bit more stability. I’m realistic about the fact that there will be no ‘quick-fix’, but I also don’t want to wait months just to get to the starting gate!

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