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@fromthisdayforward – I hope things are getting better for you and your daughter. I’ve been on meds for a few months now and on a recent visit with my doc I expressed disappointment that things weren’t as improved as I’d hoped. Then as we discussed how I’ve been spending my time, there were all kinds of little victories!
Perhaps focussing on the successes, however small, can help change her trajectory. Rather than highlighting the screw-ups (trust me, we beat ourselves more than anyone, regardless of how unconcerned we may appear on the outside), maybe simply acknowledging her struggles (whether you understand them or not) and praising her achievements will make a difference for her.

I know when my doctor pointed out that making hummus from scratch for my birthday party was actually a big deal, it put a smile on my face and gave me something to feel proud of. It’s a little thing, but having someone recognize that for me this was actually a big thing, well that was invaluable and gave me self-confidence boost that I really needed.

It’s not an easy disorder to understand if you aren’t living it inside yourself, but just by being on this forum you are demonstrating that you have a desire to be a part of her solutions. I actually asked my dad to make doctors’ appointments for me and to help me get to them. I knew I needed the help, and he did it without judgment and without making me feel bad. We all need different tools to get through the day. You’ll just have to figure out what tools you might be able to offer that will help your daughter alter her path a little bit. Loving her unconditionally is the best help you can offer her.

Best of luck to both of you!!

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Fantastic!
I actually laughed when I read that you missed out on a lunch! We can be so ridiculous sometimes, eh? Oh well, good imaginations anyway!

Ride the wave of this accomplishment. Celebrating our successes is so important, and we’re the only ones who really understand what we’ve overcome.

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@seabassd – I TOTALLY get that feeling of being completely unable to act. Intellectually you know what you need to do, and you may even suspect that it won’t really be that bad once you do it (particularly if you’ve been down this path multiple times), but something freezes you up inside and others see as super simple and straightforward becomes your own personal Mount Everest!
I have been on a combo of meds for a few months now and just this past week dealt with some bureaucratic stuff right away, as it happened!! The situation I was dealing with (driver’s licence stuff) was a result of past inaction, but as soon as I learned of it, I dealt with it. There’s still lots of stuff that I’m hiding from, but the sense of empowerment after dealing with this one issue is amazing. Baby steps.
Btw – don’t know you, but very proud of you for making those calls! My anxiety level rose just reading your original post!! 🙂

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Thanks for the feedback!

I am holding off on any action at all for now. Treading very carefully so as not to get inadvertently caught up in the stupidity. I can’t believe the things I’m starting to see now that I’ve opened my eyes a bit though! Why can’t people just be happy without needing to make everyone else miserable? Or be successful without making everyone else fail?

I come from the glass half full school and it is very disturbing to see someone trying to dip their straw into my drink! But, I plan to just keep refilling the glass, no matter what. Today I finished work and went on a photography adventure in my neighbourhood. It’s my way of transforming the bad energy into something beautiful!

It still makes me slightly nauseous that I trusted someone too quickly and have been betrayed as a result. I know it’s not my fault, but unfortunately the consequences are mine, and I’m not sure that I’ve seen the last of them yet.

And Geoduck – thanks for that perspective. You’re right. Given the patterns I’m seeing, who knows what was actually said. This is me, trying not to sweat it!

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I dislike that I can’t do as much as I want to for the holidays. Thankfully we are a very small family – my sister & her husband and my dad and me! My sis & bro-in-law love to entertain, so I just have to show up. I’ve cut down who I buy for – just a few select people that I really want to give to.

When life was simpler I used to do a Christmas craft every year. Ornaments or chocolates or jewellery. Something little to give to anyone who crossed my path. It made me feel good and the look on people’s faces when they realized I made it was awesome. This year I managed to make some truffles because I was babysitting a friend after they had surgery, so I had an evening with nothing to do and got to dirty someone else’s kitchen!

I find that by just ignoring what I think are people’s/society’s expectations about what I’m supposed to do over the holidays, I feel less stressed. I just stopped even trying to send gifts to my out of town family & friends. I’ve finally stopped even pretending that I’m going send Christmas cards. I still get all stressed out about the few things I’ve kept up, but at least it’s a bit more manageable.

Cheers all!

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@no_dopamine – It’s funny, I actually love wrapping presents. Mine are usually the most creative ones under the tree! It’s just that there are numerous obstacles to getting to the wrapping which are tripping me up. Mostly due to housecleaning shortcomings.

@JimC – I walk a fair bit, but unfortunately just getting out of the house in the morning is such a challenge, that there’s no way I can add in excercise right now. It’s on my list of things!

I really appreciate the positive messages. It’s good to be back here and to be among folks who ‘get it’. Even the most supportive of my clan still can’t fully appreciate the things I struggle with.

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Thanks guys.

I’m not expecting a ‘eureka’ moment, but just want to be able to self-motivate and focus. Thank you for the med advice. Focus & distractibility are definitely my big issues. The pharmacist talked me into generic ritalin which may also have been an issue. I tried to argue against it, but he was very insistent that it was the same and I eventually gave in. Might try the real stuff first, then switch to something like adderall if i still don’t get what i need.

Just need to get my ass back to the doctor now to get the meds.

Now if I could just get to the wrapping of the presents…..

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Haven’t explored it too deeply yet, but this looks pretty cool at first glance: http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/brain-games/

I just googled brain games, brain training, brain training games (you get the idea…) and lots of different things come up, of course including luminosity. I’m not really sure I get what the difference is between brain training and just fun time wasting stuff. I attended a gifted program one day a week in grade school, and we did all kinds of cool games. I just can’t remember what any of them were now!

If you do find a good site, make sure you let us know!

btw – @kc5jck – I laughed aloud at “it’s the thought that counts”! Very nice!

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@billd – is it too soon to ask how much you’ve gotten done?

Your work looks lovely btw, and that’s some pretty major machinery! My only knowledge of quilting is from the book “How to make an American Quilt”. I had lovely romantic notions of making a quilt after reading that!

Please do keep us updated!

As soon as I get on a med regime that actually works, I’m hoping to get back into my jewellery making. Maybe I’ll use the forum for the old kick in the arse (and guilt!) to get going on that!

And you should feel proud of what you have accomplished so far. It really is great work!

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Welcome to the club! I got my diagnosis yesterday, today is day 2 of ritalin. Remarkably unremarkable actually! A bit clearer, but other than that, I’m not feeling any huge change. Wasn’t looking for a miracle, but was hoping for a more obvious difference.

Read around the forum – there are lots of good folks and lots of resources under videos that might give you good info to make you feel more comfortable with the meds.

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Yes – SR. I’m now 2 hours into 2nd dose. Feel ok, but will have to monitor a bit more closely. I am getting things done at work so far, but I’m not going to be home until about 8 or 9pm, which will be right at that 6 hour mark again… This is complicated eh? I certainly don’t want to feel like I can’t plan things for when I don’t have meds in me…. Hmm, relax – monitor for now, report to doc on Nov 7th and work on a plan from there.

My doc said 3-8 hours was expected time frame. Quite a range! I still don’t know that it’s enough of a difference. I know it sounds funny, but I kind of want to know what too high a dosage feels like so that at least I get a sense of what this is and isn’t supposed to do. I don’t currently feel like I’m on anything at all, but it’s that shift to sleepiness at the 6 hour mark that is telling me something. I’ll keep monitoring and we’ll see how it goes! So far appetite is normal, no nausea, really not much of anything except that I have a minor shift in concentration/focus level which has aided my work productivity.

I do feel pretty good that I’m finally worrying about medication dosages and coping mechanisms though. Looking forward now instead of reliving my past all the time! New beginnings!

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Ok, so took Ritalin #1 at 5:45 last night, and at 11:45pm my eyes started to close. Took Ritalin #2 at 9:00am today. Now 3:00pm and suddenly my eyes feel heavy and my concentration & energy have depleted. I feel cloudy. I will keep an eye on this as the days go by, but I’d say I have exactly 6 hours on 20mg of Ritalin. Wow. The supervising doc recommended a dosage to make sure I get through the workday, but I’m just as concerned with getting through my personal time after work! Pretty sure I’m going to take a 2nd dose now and see how that goes.

@sugargremlin – I’ve self-medicated enough over the years to not be too afraid! And honestly, I feel WAY more of a difference right now (6+ hours after taking the dose) than I did at any point in the last 6 hours. And I’ve had a pretty productive work day! Not awesome, but for me, pretty darn good!

KrazyKat – wrote you a long note on the other thread!

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Oh KrazyKat! I wish I could give you a big hug and say take a deep breath and let’s look at this one piece at a time.

From what I understand about ADD meds (and today is just day 1.5 for me!), is that they work pretty much right away, if they are going to work. And with ADD it is aiding a biological problem, not mood altering. With depression/anxiety meds, the process is a bit longer. (again, speaking from a layperson’s knowledge, and with NO actual authority on the subject!)

I feel like any anxiety or depression I personally have gone through, has been a direct result of trying to cope with my ADHD. So much in chaos in my life, which is just getting worse as I get older. It’s no wonder that my self-esteem has been low, that I have at times dealt with depression, that I’ve self-medicated, etc, etc. I’ve been coping with something I didn’t know existed!

The deficit vs strength concept for your son is an interesting one! Like my failure in Home Ec & Art, but As in most other subjects. No one noticed because they weren’t “important” subject. Arguably, they told more of the story than my A in science or english. If only someone had stopped to really look at why I had failed…

But, back to you! I think it sounds like your doc is saying that the ADHD specialist will diagnose you and recommend treatment based on your symptoms and his expertise, not just because he wants everyone to have ADHD! But I’m betting he’s hearing your concern about your anxiety issues and wants to be sure that those are addressed as well. He actually sounds kind of fair – he believes in a certain style of treatment, but he understands that not everyone is in the same camp, so he’s letting you have some control over the process.

I don’t know if that helps at all? *big hug* You will be ok. You are taking the steps and that is more than half the battle! Deep breath and some patience (I know, I know…..but pretend for now and maybe a little patience will show up?)

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Haha! No worries! I’ll do my own laundry I suppose!

I think you are getting to choose what to focus on first more than anything. As always though, if you feel uncomfortable with what your doctor has told you, go see someone else. I know that’s not always so easy, but you need to feel well cared for.

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@KrazyKat – you must be done your appointment by now! You can find my update on my situation here: http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=1941

I hope yours went well too! I’ve been less nervous with each appointment as I come to terms with ADD. Plus my doctor has been very open and encouraging and empowering. (wanna come over and do my laundry for me???!!)

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