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3R's Pillar Sari Solden, Women with ADHD

RE-STRUCTURING Your Life At Home And Work*
RE-NEGOTIATING Your Relationships*
RE-DEFINING Your Self Image*

For a woman with ADD, the healing starts in her brain and continues in her heart.

In order for women with the executive function struggles of ADHD to maximize their strengths and increase their feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment, it is usually necessary to re-structure the way they set up their lives both at home and at work.

This means that first, they must come to a deep understanding and acceptance of how they function best, how their brains work, and become willing to ask for support for their challenges.

This may sound simple, but it is far from easy.

Many people often assume the way to help women who face these challenges is to start with suggesting simple solutions and common sense strategies.

This idea is actually a common reason for the failure of women with ADHD in achieving their goals and fulfilling their hopes and dreams.

Even more damaging, this approach, or mind-set, can result in increased shame for a woman who is left with the feeling that, once again, she has disappointed herself – and let others down who are important to her.

The truth is that after the chemicals in her brain are addressed, the focus must then shift to the concepts in her mind and the pain in her heart, which include her sense of failure, her toxic comparisons, and her distorted view of herself.

She doesn’t see the incredible whole human being she is.

On the contrary, women with ADHD often maintain a relentless, oppressive, and narrow focus on their deficits due to internalized and idealized views of what women are like, and should be able to do.

So while Re-structuring is the goal, barriers that keep her from setting up her life in a way that works for her necessitate focusing on Re-negotiating her relationships and Re-defining her self-image.

In order for her to feel entitled to set limits, boundaries, state what she needs, and get support, a woman with these challenges will need to redefine her idea of what it means to a successful, mature, valuable women even when and if her challenges persist!

Only when those difficulties and differences no longer define who she is, when she can see herself as a whole human being, will she be able to renegotiate her relationships to get what she needs by setting limits and not allowing toxic criticism or disrespect to derail her.

So the process by which a woman with ADHD is able to eventually be successful at restructuring her life, starts from the inside and works its way slowly and surely outward.

Books By Sari Solden

A Radical Guide For Women With ADHD

Women With Attention Deficit Disorder

Journeys Through ADDulthood

*3 R’s are from Women with ADD
Copyright Sari Solden 2014

Looking for books about ADHD in Women and Girls?  Check out our top picks here.

Psychotherapist & author of:
Women with Attention Deficit Disorder
Journeys Through ADDulthood
Email: sari@sarisolden.com
Websites: www.sarisolden.com, www.ADDJourneys.com

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  1. clarab April 22, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    i am in my late 40s and have suffered symptoms my entire life. I am so excited about the possibilities that lie before me. I guess its never too late

  2. sarisolden April 25, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    HI Clara,
    I am so happy you feel excited about possibilities at this stage of your journey!
    Look forward to having you join us during the webinar on May 12 so we can talk live and so you can hear from all the other great women out there with whom you share so much.
    Best wishes,

  3. Hopeful_in_Ontario November 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Why does the search box disappear after I log in to the site?
    I know how to search using the Chrome Omnibox by putting (topic site:http://totallyadd.com) where the web address goes.

  4. mwood March 7, 2021 at 8:22 pm

    I’ve gotta be honest… this essay doesn’t seem to give me anything to hang my hat on. Where is the meat? As a woman with ADHD, what strategies does this piece actually recommend, advise or even describe?

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