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50,000 Life Coaches Can't Be Wrong

At the moment I am high.  Higher than Mount Everest.  Thanks to a Boeing jet.  Something with a lot of 7’s in the name.

I’m also a bit high from the last few days.  Headed home from Phoenix.  And the ADHD coaches organization (ACO) annual conference.

Talk about mixed feelings.  On the one hand I’m glowing and optimistic, the result of being in the presence of scores of people who have dedicated their lives to transforming other lives.  Changing the world one person at a time.

On the other hand there are tinges of sadness and frustration flavored with a weary melancholy.  Why are so many brilliant coaches struggling to find clients?  Why are so many of the sessions about finding ADDers, not actually reaching people who would benefit hugely from coaching?

While waiting for my flight to Chicago to board, I wander into a shop selling everything from chocolate bars to native sculptures to I Love Arizona key fobs. Scanning the wall of magazines a headline jumps out at me: “50,000 life coaches can’t be wrong, inside the industry that’s making therapy obsolete.”


Harper’s Magazine is always a good read.  This one proved no exception.

The article is classic journalism.  While skeptical, and yet reluctantly admitting that this whole business and life coaching can make a dramatic difference.  Which I already know.

The article makes it clear that coaching is not free, averaging perhaps $100 per hour. Or about ¾ of what I pay my dental hygienist to scale my teeth. It’s sounds kind of steep. Until you experience the difference that a good coach can make.

I’m not sure how many people are stopped by the cost. For a long time I suppose I was. And yet I never begrudged the $135 I spent getting my teeth cleaned. Because I knew it was a lot cheaper than having a cavity filled or a tooth replaced.

So yes. Money is always an issue.


ADHD folks are rarely awash in cash.  A famous study done at Harvard suggested we earn between 8000 and $14,000 less than our non-ADHD peers every year.  [By the way it’s not that the study wasn’t exactly sure of the figure and said it was somewhere between 8 to 14,000. It’s a scale based on whether or not the person has post-secondary education.]

But the truth is, if we’re willing to be honest, we do find money for the things that matter to us. I know of people living in fairly dire circumstances who have the latest smart phone and video games.

The same edition of Harpers magazine notes that Americans spend $2 billion a year on mayonnaise. No mention of the cost for angioplasties, cholesterol medication, and strokes.  Do you see where this is going?


I appreciate that coaching is not free. But most coaches will do a free session so that newcomers can see how the process works, and discover the difference it can make.

And yes, we all find the money for the things that we really, really want. And what we want is based on what we see as valuable. What a business executive would call R.O.I., Return on Investment.

And that return could be almost anything: fun, pleasure, safety, security, excitement, joy, love, weight loss, inner peace, better health, cool toys, simpler lives, more friends,  or washboard abs.

The potential ROI on your investment in coaching can be, well, almost anything you can imagine. Clearly coaches, especially ADHD coaches, need to explain not just how coaching works, but the potential benefits, the return on your investment.


Even if your income doesn’t change much, if coaching helps you transform how you do your job, how you organize your life, how you fill your days, how your home life goes, well, I’ll let you put your own price on that.

In the meantime, I’ll work on lining up a few webinars on coaching. Maybe even include some demonstrations of individual and coaching. If you’re interested in being a guinea pig, let me know.

I can’t guarantee that coaching is right for you. But I strongly suggest you cut back on the mayonnaise. (That’s a bit of free coaching.)

If you want to know about eliminating gluten, I’ll have to start charging.



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  1. soniag72 June 3, 2014 at 9:20 am

    Good morning!
    Happy to be a guinea pig. I was diagnosed 6 years ago, and just recently decided to face the music of ADHD. I’ve hyper focused on this for the past month or so… And the amount of information in the cyber world is completely overwhelming.
    When I was diagnosed, the doctor placed me on adderall, I didn’t like the quiet in my mind, so decided to stop taking it, at the time I was dealing with a plethora of other issues, and thought to myself, well, I’ve lived this way for 40+ years! it’s who I am! I’ll be alright. I’ve since come to the conclusion that that isn’t quite right. I am sick and tired of knowing how well the synapsis in my brain don’t work, and would love some coaching on how to handle my new found understanding and best possible practices.
    I have been in therapy for 24 years, off and on, but haven’t utilized coaching. In New Hampshire, coaches are few and far between and so far, I haven’t even found a therapist who is knowledgable in ADHD.
    Will be interesting to see what kind of feedback you have for me! Thanks for reading! ~peace! Sonia.

  2. terrymatlen June 3, 2014 at 9:25 am

    Great article, Rick.
    And I agree- coaching is the essential and often missing piece in the treatment of adults with ADHD. It *is* costly for most, but it’s possible that coaching can be a short term investment for learning strategies to help with organization, time management and all the rest. Medication, therapy and education can only take one so far!
    Even in my groups for women, which are incredibly cost-effective, I hear from many that it’s simply too expensive. Yet…my fees are purposely *extremely* low so that it is truly affordable to almost anyone. I’m not sure why, then, that many say they cannot afford $18/month for ADD (group) coaching.
    Perhaps we still have a long way to go in educating folks on the benefits of coaching. And your article is a great start!
    Terry Matlen, ACSW

  3. Larynxa June 3, 2014 at 10:15 am

    Many ADDCA Coaches-in-Training charge lower rates, while acquiring the required practical coaching hours to qualify for their final exams. This is similar to the articling done by student-lawyers, and the interning done by medical students.
    Not all Coaches offer a free trial session, because this tends to devalue the service. People think that “free = worthless”, and they don’t really commit to it, because they don’t have a stake in it.
    The first session is for finding out if the Coach and client “click” well enough to work together. This is often (though not always) complimentary—which isn’t the same as “free”.
    A complimentary service comes with an invoice stating the fee for the service, and that it is “Complimentary”—meaning that the Coach has waived the fee. That way, the service is still seen as valuable, even though the client isn’t actually paying for it.

  4. pcoyne June 3, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Hi Rick, I’m interested in being a guinea pig.
    *Hi, as a protection measure I have removed your email address from this post. Rick will be responding soon.

  5. Arly56 June 3, 2014 at 11:38 am

    I am willing to be a guinea pig also.
    I live in Canada where many medical things are covered by government insurance. ADHD coaching is not one of them. I am self-employed and have a disability income. So it’s hard for me – at times – to get needed things. I’m ok for food and housing etc. But for something I really want – I can save up!

  6. lisamummy June 3, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Hi Rick!
    I self diagnosed when my son was diagnosed at age 6 (2.5 years ago). My husband and I saw you speak in Peterborough last fall and it was cathartic for me. I was so happy and so devastated at the same time for myself and my son. I bought a t-shirt and totally broke down – your wife is lovely and comforting.
    Recently, I finally got to the point where I decided that I should be doing for myself the same things we are trying to do for our son to make life easier and have started taking meds. Things are fairly tight these days, especially now with 2 people on Concerta in our house and no benefits, so I have not yet contacted a life coach who was suggested to me. I would love to be a guinea pig for you and see where it takes me. Maybe I’ll get motivated to put aside my change to save up for coaching!

  7. karalianne June 3, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Just a quick note for anyone who is in Canada: Contact your local branch of the Learning Disabilities Association of Canada. I did that and was able to access a reassessment and coaching, all paid for with funding they found for me. I valued all of it very much and was able to get a number of things sorted through coaching. I only went for a few months, but they were valuable and I learned some skills that have been helping me a lot ever since.

  8. Sandymc823 June 3, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    Great article, Rick! And just the perspective I needed…I try to keep myself as well informed as possible about ADHD and strategies for managing it, understanding it, and trying to learn how to find my strengths through podcasts, webinars and reading. Having been diagnosed ‘late in life’ (at the age of 46) I have ‘been through the stages’ – relief, anger, sadness, etc – that I think are pretty common in that situation. But now I find myself so very frustrated – I have worked for years (decades!) in a career that I am ill-suited for, and which brings me little satisfaction – and I am increasingly and keenly aware of the truth of the ‘life is short’ cliche. I have known at some level for a long time that coaching could be the missing component to finding the way to make some real changes in my life, but have always thought that it was too expensive and not something I could afford. I am rethinking that….perhaps it something that I can’t afford NOT to do. Thanks for the inspiration (and I’d definitely be interested in being a guinea pig).

  9. abidah18 June 4, 2014 at 3:21 am

    Hi Rick, another guinea pig here! Your article was hilarious and got me thinking. I was the child of a child psychologist and a psychiatrist, neither of whom ever had a clue that I had ADD. I was finally diagnosed at age 57 after finally figuring it out for myself. I’ve tried the medication route, settled on Strattera, but didn’t like the side effects so I quit. I am also dealing with a rare cancer (slow but relentless) that nobody knows anything about and spend a lot of time researching, trying to get all my doctors and protocols on the same page, fight ADD and manage each day, all of which is exhausting, expensive and paralyzing. I am about to try Adderall to see if it will stop the inner hamster wheel from spinning long enough to get my home, papers, medical protocols, dust bunnies and laundry and even fun projects into some kind of order and schedule. Schedule??? If only! I dream of order and routine piercing the fog. I think coaching could be the one lifeline that could pull me out of the quicksand, so why haven’t I done it? The answer is money and fear. I live solely on my Social Security mini-income and I could find $100 for a session, but it’s the ongoing package price that’s scary. I don’t doubt it’s worth the money, but so are the expensive alternative cancer treatments I would like to have that are not covered by insurance. You want to be sure you have the right person/treatment and that means choices and decisions (eeek!). The fear of ADD coaching is that somehow I won’t like it or the coach, that it will be too much commitment, that it will seems like tough love and feel punitive, that maybe it won’t stick and I’ll end up back at square one. I can find a zillion reasons to avoid putting my money where my mouth is and money is only one of them. It’s a typical ADD story, running away from opportunities for fear of failure and the inability to stick with things. Although I did move heaven and earth to get my pilot’s license…It’s great up there in those machines with a lot of 7’s, isn’t it? No, I don’t fly the big ones, I just ride them onward, upward, out of the box into another adventure. I was always a jack of all trades and never mastered anything, but I did have some good times!. My job now is to survive, thrive, and somehow find a way to navigate the ADD maze that is my life. Forgive the long rant, your article really opened the floodgates…! Coaching has had so many successes, it has to be good. Just having someone there is good! But sometimes the need doesn’t match the resources and the money just isn’t there….then what?

  10. macnick June 4, 2014 at 7:26 am

    Rick: my son was dianosed last year at 17 with ADD. He took the meds for 2 months and what a relief …transformation. in him. He decided not to take them anymore because he doesnt like the way he feels. He choose to self medicate with drugs and alcohol which has put him in a no win situation with his future in all catagories: family, college and job.
    He is so angry at me and his self, I try to help plans for his future but at no prevail. He hates me.
    If you could find a coach who able to work with my son, who is now 18 before he ends up in jail and homeless and on drugs. Or “D” all the above. He was such a talented athlete and has been a smart student but always struggled with goals, tasks and self diespline.
    Please contact me at [address removed by mod] if you have anyone in the north Dallas/fort Worth area that can help him asap. I appreciate your help…anyones help for a good Doctor/Life Coach
    *Hi, as a protection measure I have removed your email address from this post. Rick will be responding soon.

  11. Tadd Moderator (Spammer Slammer Bammer) June 5, 2014 at 6:28 am

    If you’re looking for a Coach, please use the Coach Directory. http://totallyadd.com/coaching-directory-search/
    You can search by location, specialty, language, certifications, and keywords.
    And be aware that:
    “While we can attest to the power of coaching, and we know and love many of these coaches, TotallyADD.com cannot guarantee their services or your experience. We are not responsible for the services of the coaches.
    Connecting with the right coach is crucial. Ask questions. Be informed. Set clear goals. And take the coaching.”

  12. teabaglady June 5, 2014 at 6:36 am

    @karalianne — this is what is on the local Disabilities Association website. MOST discouraging.
    Dear LDANS Supporter,
    It is with regret that the Learning Disabilities Association of Nova Scotia is no longer operational as a Non-Profit Organization. We are unfortunately not able to provide any of our previous services and supports to the individuals and families in Nova Scotia that are dealing with Learning Disabilities and the various challenges and daily struggles that accompany them. With heavy hearts we inform you that the Learning Disabilities Association of Nova Scotia office is closed effective immediately. Some of the programs provided by LDANS have transitioned into the Chisholm Services for Children network of services. Please see below for more information on those programs and for tips to get assistance in other ways.
    The LINKS Children’s Literacy Program has been transferred to Chisholm Services for Children and is still in operation.
    If you are looking for information on the LINKS program, please visit http://www.chisholm4children.ca/links.
    The Blind Date With a Star Fundraiser is also being transitioned to Chisholm Services.
    Please visit http://www.chisholm4children.ca/how-can-you-help/upcoming-events for more information.
    If you are seeking assistance with the Canada Disability Tax Credit, please visit http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/disability.
    If you are seeking tuition support or additional school supports, please check out the department of education website here: http://www.ednet.ns.ca/families.shtml
    If you are concerned that you or someone you care about may be struggling with a Learning Disability, please consider looking for support in the following ways:
    If you are worried about a school aged child/youth, you can start by approaching a teacher, resource teacher, guidance counsellor, or administrator at school. They can connect you with a school support team.
    You can also contact your family physician or pediatrician for a referral to an educational psychologist at the IWK or another local hospital if you are an adult looking for testing.
    You can self-refer to some educational psychologists and learning/support centers.
    You can search for the right organization or community service to support you with the help of Nova Scotia 211 service.
    Visit their website at http://www.ns.211.ca or contact them directly by dialing 211 from your phone.
    LDANS would like to send our sincerest thanks to everyone that has participated in, benefitted from, and helped support us as an organization for the past twenty four years. We greatly appreciate your support and are deeply saddened that we will no longer be a contributing participant in the communities of Nova Scotia.

  13. Kiddos1138 June 5, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    This is something I’ve wanted to try since I got “official” with my ADHD… and while the money isn’t easy I would gladly try it… IF I could trust myself to do my part! I think the money excuse isn’t quite as simple as “It’s too much money”; if you read between the lines, it’s more “It’s too much money to spend on something that I’m worried I will likely not follow through on”.
    That being said, I *am* in the process of looking for somebody close by me (about an hour away is as close as I’ve found). Let me know if you need another guinea pig, and THANK YOU for everything you and your team does!

  14. Rick June 6, 2014 at 7:15 am

    So, lots of great thoughts here! And thank you for all the kind words.
    We are definitely going to line up a few webinars on coaching. Summer time is tricky because most people are on holiday, travelling, taking care of kids, etc.. But I’ll see what we can do.
    Kiddos1138, you hit the nail on the head. It’s spending the money on something that you don’t think you’ll follow through on. In our video on Holistic Solutions to ADHD we explore a lot of different things you can do to manage ADHD and reduce the struggle… but creating new habits requires patience, sticking to a routine, repeating something until it becomes automatic… In other words, not how I naturally operate with my ADHD mindset.
    For me, what’s kept me going with a coach is the results. It was the same with going to a therapist when my first marriage ended. I went fairly regularly for several years because it made a difference. I was literally hungry for it, needing relief. Even after several years, I always went into the sessions thinking it was going to be a waste of time, or that I should simply figure it out on my own. And I’d always leave feeling much better, glad I went, and certain it would have taken me years to figure out what my therapist had been able to filter out of my babbling brain dump.
    So the best advice I can offer, is try it.
    Also, for coaching, you don’t need someone in your area. Using any one of several systems we do our coaching via the internet. On mornings when we are low energy Caroline puts on music and has us up and dancing and moving. Other mornings we’re doing meditation.
    Macnick, I am sorry that your son is choosing to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. It doesn’t make sense, when the medication is so much safer and for most people has far fewer side effects. I sometimes wonder if ADHD folks are so used to the chaos in their heads, that the sensation of being focused and present seems boring or that ‘they are boxed in.’
    As for finding a therapist, I refer you to our coach’s directory and repeat that the person does not have to be in your area for coaching. For therapy, probably they do. My advice on this is to start with the one person you can control, yourself. Having been through some stuff with my own family members I finally realized that people were going to choose what they were going to choose. I had to accept their choices. And let them live with the consequences. But getting myself into a panic was totally counter-productive. It just ramped up the conflict. It drove them away. It made them more determined to do whatever they were doing.
    I’m not a therapist, but I do know that when I simply took care of myself and gave the person who was struggling my support and love, without conditions, things changed. They knew I didn’t approve of what they were doing. They knew the consequences, at least on some level, but young people don’t really get it. Studies have shown they just can’t process the idea that they are mortal. (And judging by how many of us adults are unhealthy and consuming too much while exercising too little, we’re still living in denial.)
    The other practice I took on was to simply look beyond the behaviour and get into the persons head. If someone is drinking too much, hiding the booze isn’t a long term solution. Helping them to see what it is that has them in such pain is likely to be much more effective. And they probably know. But to get them to talk about it requires being able to ask, being able to listen, and not doing the two things that I did– ‘downplaying’ or ‘offering solutions’.
    Downplaying involves things like saying, “Oh, you’ll outgrow that.” Or, “Everyone loses friends. There are some people who don’t have any friends. You should count yourself lucky.” It’s a bit like saying to someone who has had a salad, but no main course, “Well, there are people in the world who are starving, you know, they don’t even have the salad.” It’s true. But it doesn’t make my stomach stop rumbling and wanting a main course. It just adds a layer of guilt, like I’m ‘wrong’ for wanting a main course.
    The joke is, I could dismiss other people’s upsets about relationships ending, or failing at work, or school… and yet when I was that age and I broke up with my first girlfriend or two…. well, my God, I was devastated for years. When it hurts, it hurts. It just does.
    The second mistake I made, ‘offering solutions’, is still a pitfall I can tumble into easily. If my wife Ava is upset about something, or has had a bad day, and I start offering all kinds of solutions, it simply leaves her feeling like her upset isn’t valid. Or that she’s stupid for not being able to come up with solutions. Me saying, “Well, you can’t let other people’s opinions get to you,” is so obvious, and obviously too late to be helpful because it has gotten to her, that it just ends communication. I don’t’ have to agree with the fact that she should be upset with what someone has said. I simply have to acknowledge that what was said has indeed left her very upset. And by the way, offering hugs and saying, “Well, I love you.” may not help either, at least not right away. Simply getting that this is upsetting and painful and acknowledging her upset is enough.
    And no, it’s not validating that she should be upset because of what someone said. This is the thing I didn’t get for a long time. I thought if I said, “That is upsetting. I can see this has really gotten to you and ruined your day,” that I was sending the message that, “Yes, you should let what other people say upset you and ruin your day.”
    She’s a smart cookie. She knows she shouldn’t be upset. But she is. The weird thing, at least to me, is that if I simply acknowledge how she is feeling and what happened she will very quickly move to, “Well, I don’t want it to ruin the rest of my day. I don’t want to let what someone else says control my mood.”
    So, this is a long way to say that the best thing you can do for anyone who is struggling is simply love them, without conditions, without judgement, without offering advice, or nagging, or trying to control, convince, or coerce them into something. Because I know it doesn’t work at all on me. And I know enough about human nature to understand that it simply triggers an even stronger push-back.
    They become more entrenched. More defensive. They go deeper into whatever they are doing.
    Quick story. A friend had a son who was on heroin. Everyone in the family was going insane about it, trying to force him into therapy, rehab, trying to ‘scare him straight’. And my friend simply said to his son, “Listen, I know you will figure this out and I know you are way stronger than this and you’ll be okay. You are powerful.” And his son got off the drugs. And later told my friend that what he had said made all the difference.
    It gave him the power. It gave him choice. It gave him confidence when he had none in himself. And as hard as it must have been for my friend to not express all his fears and terrors over the child he loves dearly, he simply came from a place of love. And love means trust and acceptance and admiration.
    Does that make sense?

  15. Phil55 June 6, 2014 at 10:34 am

    If coaching works so well maybe we should be lobbying to have at least some of the costs covered by health insurance. It really is the cost that keeps me from committing to coaching. That and failed attempts in the past. As someone who is self employed in the arts with an erratic income coaching just seems out of reach

  16. SuzeQuze June 9, 2014 at 9:37 am

    My Smartphone was $85 and with my ADD and direction issues plus forgetting appointment times and such it is an invaluable tool for me, like an extra brain, my little executive. I have a plan through Virgin Mobile which is only $35. This doesn’t compare to the cost of a coach, unless I utilized one once a month. But if I gave up my smartphone I would lose time trying to print and write everything out and then risk forgetting those papers on my way out the door.
    A year ago I left a job because of some bullying and narcissistic behavior from my ex-boss (who also was supposedly a friend). My career was derailed and my income has been reduced dramatically (meanwhile a year before I thought I was on track to advance significantly, which I was, but that got derailed). I felt paralyzed and my credit rating plummeted because I was unable to advocate for myself at the time. I don’t think that career was the best choice so in hindsight it all worked out, I am happier now, even in the poor house. I also have a lot of credit card debt due to issues with managing my money and living in a high cost area. But there is probably money in my budget I can “find” for coaching.
    I spent 13 years on a couch with a trusted therapist until she started to unravel. Then I had to look at what we’d been doing all those years and I wasn’t happy about it. There is a great article here about “A Christmas Carol” therapy . The therapist shows you your life, you have an insight, and that automatically leads to change. Well studies have shown that is simply not the case. I can attest to this and I blamed myself for not “getting it” all those years, I was furious when I realized what a waste it was. It did make me feel better after a session but it was like a bandaid on a flesh wound.
    What works is behavior help and planning. Specific work which is collaborative. The therapist is neither passive nor authoritative. I think this takes a great deal of skill and sophistication. Not every therapist is equipped for this level of complexity. I think coaching can help a lot here because it seems coaches have a specific training and methodology. They are not winging it like it seems many therapists do. Intuition and expertise are good but I think therapists should also be checking with current science and with other colleagues for factual information and practical solutions. I am sure that many do but that wasn’t my experience.
    I think that we ADDers have a knee-jerk mistrust of “helpers” since we’ve had experience with people who were supposedly going to help us which didn’t pan out. So it takes a leap of faith to even believe that coaching will work. Then there is the fear factor. “They are going to help with planning and follow-through and all of the stuff that makes my head spin? Forget it, I am barely getting through the day.” It is hard from this perspective to see the big picture.
    I think webinars will be really helpful for this. I find all of your webinars helpful. It is difficult for me to read information, especially a lot of it, and a lot easier to learn and retain it from a video. I appreciate this service very much. Maybe we can learn why coaching works, how it works, and see some data showing that it works. This will help us get an informed opinion and perhaps lead to an informed leap of faith that it will work for us.
    After what happened with that long-term therapist, my ex-boss, my family of origin… I am loathe to give up any control over my life to anyone else. I thought I needed then to help me organize my life but I realize I have to do it. This is black and white thinking where I am either giving up too much power to other people or deluding myself into thinking I can do it all myself without ever needing any help. So some evidence of how the coaching process is collaborative would also be very helpful.
    We need to advocate for insurance companies to cover coaching.
    I am willing to be a Guinea pig for sure!

  17. jayycee June 9, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    I’m over 80 and wasn’t diagnosed until about 5 years ago. While therapy has been helpful for me in the past, it didn’t help me discover my ADD or help me with my reaction once I realized what I had been trying to deal with all my life. I’ve always thought coaching could be an answer — if one could fine a good coach — but could not justify the cost, given the fact that I’m not employed any longer and that coaching isn’t covered by my insurance like therapy is. If I were still raising children, though, I’d find a way to pay for it.
    As it is, I’ve wondered if there is some method of “self-coaching” — does that just sound silly? Maybe there could be a workbook, or a course, or software designed to offer prompts as needed? If there could be a useful alternative for those who simply cannot afford live coaching, I’d love to hear about it.

  18. LyleKelp June 9, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Well I’m 58 , diagnosed 2 years ago and seem to have every apsect of Inattentive ADHD .l Not doing well at all . It’s been very frustrating and costly regarding my self-employed business. Meds don’t seem to work .Would love to be a guinea pig
    Lylekelp, Nova Scotia

  19. Rick June 10, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    More great comments. I dunno if I can comment on them all.
    A great question about the possibility of Self-Coaching. Dr. Ari Tuckman, who is joining us on the 24th for a double header Webinar with Dr. Roberto Olivardia, has a workbook that deals with getting more done. It’s available in our shop. [event date passed – admin]
    Another way to coach oneself is to journal. Putting down thoughts, and asking questions as well.
    When I am driving I often turn on the voice recorder function on my I-phone and sit it on my chest (Cause otherwise I’ll looking like I’m calling on the phone and around here that’s a huge fine.) And then I just pour out my thoughts. And I switch roles, hearing what I’ve just said and imagining what a coach, therapist, or friend would say.
    It’s amazing how many great ideas I come up with. I am listening to myself and somehow I’m able to get into a mindset of, “What would a very smart person hear in what I’m saying? What would someone who wasn’t caught up in the emotion realize that I can’t see? Someone who could see the big picture,. Calmly. With insight.”
    I suppose it’s a bit of distancing. I approach it as if, “What if it was someone else who was going through this? What would I say?”
    Hey, I’ve got a dozen voices in my head at times, I might as well create voices that are way smarter.

  20. SuzeQuze June 17, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    Pouring out to a voice recorder is a great idea! Thank you.

  21. SuzeQuze June 27, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    I’m happy to report I found a good and good paying job. I also found a coach the next town over thanks to your directory. So as soon as I get some critical bills paid I can get started. :)

  22. radley603 July 7, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    I am so glad to read about the mistrust and “knee-jerk” reactions many ADDers have to coaching; I thought it was just me. I think there’s a misperception that what we need is someone “to be accountable to” or someone to “keep us on track.” To me those things only feel like more pressure in the pressure cooker that is my life. I don’t claim to know what we/I DO need, but SuzeQuze’s comment about the fear of giving up control and the need for a collaboration really resonated with me. I’m 60 years old (diagnosed in my late forties) and feel like I’ve been struggling to do things the way others do my entire life.
    I think Rick(?) has a video about the importance of getting at the motivation. This is part of working with who we are, rather than trying to ‘overcome’ it. I’ve spent enough of my life trying to be something I’m not. I’ve finally resolved to work WITH who I am instead of struggling against it.

  23. spngbob August 16, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    i can’t find a coach where i live. i’ve searched but i too have that knee-jerk reaction. i think that has to do with control. i don’t wan’t to feel controlled. in some weird ways i think that’s why i cant budget worth a darn. it just feels to restricting(not to mention id only last two days) i would love to find a coach and have a free session. i went to the mental health facility where i see my team and no one there had any idea where to find one. kinda got the feeling they didn’t know they existed, but im sure that cannont be. however i am in west virginia so who knows.

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