Funniest ADD Moment — What's yours?

[Anonymous]

oh! my bf just told me that he thinks something i did the other day is funnier:

he was watching holmes on homes, like he does… and i’d just got a drink from the kitchen- i came back, bounced enthusiastically onto the couch, and jumped up with a loud shriek- grabbing my derrierre with my drink-free hand (sloshing juice everywhere in the process), and pulled out a splinter of something plastic and shiny from the fabric of the back of my pants. a splinter.

as he finished laughing i wailed, dusted myself off, gave the couch cushion a dirty look, and sat back down.

and promptly jumped back up again. splinter number two. grrrr.

with loud grumblings i felt around the back of my pants again a few times, dusted my hand along the couch cushion, scowled at his ‘desperately trying not to laughoutloud’ face, and hesitantly sat down again.

… and jumped back up again. splinter number three. son of a beach!

by this point he was snickering behind his hand, and i was peeved beyond beleif. i made him get up, shook out the couch throw, put it back, gave it 3 or 4 distrustful glances, and ever so slowly lowered myself onto it, settled in… everything was good. i relaxed, shifted my weight, reached for my drink, and two seconds later, guess what? yep.

as he tried to hold back the tears and roars of laughter i jumped up, yelled

“this isn’t funny! i’m getting hurted! i could be bleeding!”

grabbed the seat of my jammies again, ran my hands all over them to no avail, then exasperatedly turned away from him, pulled them down, bent forward, and declared loudly,

“could you just stop laughing- it hurts! there could be a bloody great big glass shard sticking out of my flesh!”

gave him another dirty look, and said:

“for *%$@#!s sake! can you please just check and see if there is a hole in my butt!”

… yeah, all sense of maturity was lost at that point.

i meant ANOTHER hole, not the one thats supposed to be there.

grrrr.

stupid couch.

stupid boyfriend.

stupid splinters.

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[Anonymous]

I think the best one was when, I woke up to go to work and got on autopilot. Bear in mind, I don’t have a car (my ridiculous inability to save money), so I have to take public transportation.

I make my usual 10 minute brisk walk to the nearest stop, which happens to be a major bus station. It was silent, and no one was there, but hey, its early in the morning. No big, right? 10 minutes pass, 20 minutes, where the hell is my goddamn bus!?

It was about then I realized it was actually Sunday, public transportation doesn’t run on Sunday, and I didn’t actually have to go to work.

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[Anonymous]

^^^ thats totally something i would do- if you’d of said …..”and i ran out of the door 20 minutes late, yelling expletives, got to the bus stop, paced around for an hour, stopping sporadically to stare up at an interesting bit of tree and ponder randomness about the greenness of leaves, eventually clued in about sunday, facepalmed, wondered why my feet felt wet, then when i looked down, and realised that i’d forgotten to put my shoes on. i frequently feel the sudden urge while on my way somewhere important to stop and check that i’ve got my trousers, bra, shoes, etc on, and actually brushed my hair, cleaned my teeth, know where i’m going and why, what day it is, etc.

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[Curlymoe115]

How many times have I been at a store the day after savings time and I am banging on the door because it is supposed to be open only to realize after 15 minutes of pounding and muttering that it is now an hour earlier. I am bad for misplacing things. I somehow managed to lose the keys to my van and looked everywhere (almost year later still lost) so then I had to borrow hubbys key. The van then broke down and we were told it would be 4500.00 to fix it but the van wasn’t worth it now so we just left it sitting in our parking lot while we made up our mind. This past Christmas we got a notice that we had to dispose of the van and I went looking for the keys to clean it out. I looked everywhere. Found the keys for all the vehicles past (very fitting for Christmas time) but no sign of hubbys or my keys. Finally after two weeks of looking called and got them to pop the lock on the door so that I could clean out the van. Probably in a year or two I will be looking for something else and there will be the key. I always find things when I am not looking for them but never when I am.

I also have a hard time remembering if I performed my whole morning routine. When I shower I try to do things in the exact same order. Get in, get wet, put shampoo in hair, rinse shampoo out of hair, wash body, rinse body, get out of shower. The one time I was in the shower, got to put in shampoo, got distracted by something and finished rest of the routine. Get out and start drying off, hair feels a little funny but I am okay. Grab brush on my way to get dressed and brush my hair, pull on my clothes and head downstairs. Hubby asks whats wrong with my hair, (I have terrible hair and am always a little self conscious about it) so I put my hand to my head and walk into the bathroom to check my hair. I had forgot to rinse it out. So then I had to head back into the shower and finish doing my hair. I also have a hard time most days to remember if I brushed my hair. I will be halfway somewhere when I remember to check my hair. Terrible cowlick at the best of times and really knotty hair so if I forget to brush it look out. I also have to remember to check seams. I can’t tell you how many times I see that I am wearing clothes inside out, or backwards. The most embarrassing part is when you find out at the end of the day as you are getting undressed and you realize you interacted all day with people and no one mentioned this to you. Or you find out that you have a sock hanging from the back of your pants, or you don’t realize that you have walked around all day with pen all over your face. I try to take someone aside and mention things like this if I see it happen to someone else because I know how embarrassed I am when I find out. I would rather be the bearer of bad news to someone then just snort and look away.

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[Anonymous]

oh my gosh yes- the morning routine, hahahahaha. i got interrupted, messed up my focus, and then forgot where i was and tried to clean my teeth with facewash on the brush a few days ago- that did NOT go down well. i’ve done it with a tube of antiseptic cream a few times before too, plus cucumber moisturiser once… blargh. the amount of times i’ve almost stuck a comb-handle in my ear instead of a cotton swab…. and so on… you just don’t wanna know.

the worst part, i think, is that i haven’t used a roll-on or spray deodorant for probably 15 years- since those stick ones got popular- but ever single day i still lift up my arm to apply the rub-on stuff, and automatically shake the ‘bottle’ to prime the liquid (thats um… you know… not actually there) by force of habit. then every day i stop myself, stare at the tube, and roll my eyes, stop shaking it, apply, switch arms, and then catch myself doing it again. damnit!

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[Anonymous]

When I went to the neuropsychologist for my adhd diagnosis, I was getting ready to leave one of the evaluation sessions so I put my hat on which was on the couch and as I was walking out the door, the neuropsychologist told me not to forget my scarf and gloves which were still on the couch …I looked at her and said: I’m at the right place, eh?….she laughed and answered yes!

She actually wrote that instance in the final report

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[Anonymous]

One day my wife was sending me to the store to pick a few things up. She handed me a 20 dollar bill and said: put this in your wallet so you dont lose it. Of course I was appalled at the suggestion that I would lose the money so I told her I would do no such thing because there is no way I would lose it. So once I left I kept it in my hand squeezing it tighly as I was determined not to lose this thing in order to prove her wrong. The store is about a 5 minute drive away. I pull up walk in and reach into my pocket to make sure the money is there and sure as heck it was not. OH WAIT!! I had it in my hand…didn’t I? So I basically give myself a stripsearch trying to find the money. Then I run out to my car and begin searching frantically only to turn up nothing. How the hell did I forget that I was holding the money?!? Maybe I dropped it when I got out. It was dark so I couldnt see all that well so I had to get pretty low to the ground and I began to zig zag along the sidewalk when I bump into a co-worker of mine who game me quite a puzzled look. I seached about 15 minutes before I finally gave up and went home to tell my wife that she was right. I am not sure which is worse…The fact that I forgot I was holding the mone or me having to go home and tell my wife that she was right.

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[Anonymous]

This is funny always after the fact, but I always forget to put on oven mitts to grab stuff out of the oven. Once, in University, I was talking to a friend and wanted to test to see if the spaghetti was cooked enough yet. So, forgetting to use a fork, I just dipped my fingers in the boiling water to retrieve a strand… luckily in all cases my reaction time is very good so far I haven’t been seriously burned.

Just a few weeks ago, while with my son at the optometrist’s office, she was taking a family history. When I mentioned that there was a family history of high blood pressure, she asked Who? and I mentioned my father.. then said that I had had high blood pressure in my 20’s. She was upset that I hadn’t told her that before, and wrote it in my chart. But, by the end of the appointment, after thinking about it, I had to go back to her and admit that I had never had high blood pressure, that it was in fact. high cholesterol that I had had, and I had ‘forgotten’ which one it was. Luckily at the time I could blame it on the sleep deprivation of a mom with a new baby, but in reality it was just my ADD rearing it’s ugly head.

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[Anonymous]

Ok my ADD moment was a week ago. I am the business manager for my school paper, I had an ad lined up for 200 bucks. I thought I had it done and ready to print. All of a sudden, a page editor asked me how the ad was coming along. I completely forgot about the ad and I scrambled at the last minute to throw an ad at the last minute. Glad we are all in the same boat. hahaha 😆

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[Anonymous]

I put my ice cream in the microwave oven (Is was off) thinking it was the refrigerator on my way to a staff meeting at work. The surprising thing was, all my co-workers carefully removed the ice cream and then put it back when they were using the oven. I discovered my mistakes 3 hours later. I rolled on the floor laughing.

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[Anonymous]

here is the good and bad of ADD (and another one add =+ were ADD is correct) i got up late on autopilot and rushed to my anthropology class arriving a minute before class got underway realizing and stressing that midterm paper was dew that day and i had not finished it! after class i went to my professor to ask for more time and he asked me why would i want more time on a paper that was already done, turns out i hyper-focused and emailed the done paper at 3:30 AM that day without remembering it.

PS

i got an A+

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[Anonymous]

I just joined this site. It’s awesome! One memory came to mind after reading blue wanderer’s post. It’s short: Hubby came into the living room where I was watching TV. “Were you ironing?” says he. I had been. “And you got hungry?” Yupper again. He pulled the iron out from behind his back. “Found this in the fridge.” Oops.

I worked for a newspaper a couple of years as a reporter for a small weekly. I covered, among other things, city council and school board meetings. Working until the last second on deadline day, as usual, I had a city council story and a school board story to put on the same page. No computer pagination then. They were cut out, waxed and pasted up. Layout is not my favorite thing, but I could usually muddle through it. Problem was, I was just a little long on each article for the space I’d left. That’s not too much, I figured. The typesetter had been teaching me little tricks, so I went back to the computer, played with the spacing between words and between lines – not so much anybody would notice, but enough I wouldn’t have to cut any of my golden words. So I went back and forth, editing a little, manipulating a little. Finally, they were done – a perfect fit, and all my words intact. The next morning, my editor was reading the paper, that was on it’s way to subscribers and news stands, and he blurted in my direction, “HAH! You must have been working late on this.” With my heart sinking to my shoes, I looked over his shoulder. There were both my headlines, and an article under each – the same city council article under both headlines. The next week I ran the school board article again, with an “Oops” under the headline. I was just thankful everybody mostly thought it was funny, except maybe the school board. I love small towns.

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[Anonymous]

iron in the fridge ROFL

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[Hans]

I was working in Spain at a paper plant. A second level director(finance-marketing) was holding a meeting for management. There was a large room with 8 large rectangular tables set up in a large rectangle. On the long side in the middle was one chair with a high back on it.

With an ADHD impulse I moved that one chair three spaces to the left and replaced it with a common short chair. The rest of the attendies laughed. When the director entered the room he looked perplexed then sat in the middle in the short chair.

Not smart but funny

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[Anonymous]

Just yesterday, we were leaving my grandmother’s and I almost left my book on controlling my ADD.

That would have been really, REALLY ironic!

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[Author]

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