[CherylW]

See, I’ve gone for cognitive behavior therapy, and, after being told, I went for anger management also, it just seems like there isn’t much about ADHD and BPD as a “mix”. I live in a REALLY small town in mid-west Manitoba, (pop being about 3000 within the rm), and the only way the public mental health worker will help people is with CBT. They even told me that they have personal doubts about BPD, just “that it says in the books that it would be a possible diagnosis”. 🙁 Anyone on these forums possibly have both themselves also?

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

i go and say things in the “wrong way” or in a “weird way” myself lots of times. i live in a small town, so lots of people think that i’m “weird” and don’t really talk to me much, but my true friends and all three of my girls sure love it sometimes! they’re 3, 5, and 7 years old, so they just laugh at the way things are said. my 2 older girls have adhd themselves, so i’m making sure to teach them that even though they “spurt out” words the wrong way, it’s ok. heck, i even go and mix up their names sometimes! lol we’re all saying things that raise other people’s eyebrows, but find that the only ones who do take it “lightly” are the ones who make the mistakes themselves too! hey, the only way a person should be able to laugh at others is if they can laugh at themselves first, so giggle away at the “crazy” things you say. that way you can laugh at others! lol

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

the best therapy that i’ve ever had to help deal with stress is called ‘cognitive behavior therapy’. it helped me when i was in major depression, when i finally told my soon-enough ex that i wanted to divorce him, and the times that i’m having ‘major’ issues. if you’re unable to get help through the government via public mental health worker(pmhw), and are unable to afford a private dr., then look for the book called “Feeling Good”, by David D. Burns. the book is about 2 inches thick, but the parts that helped me were the ones that showed me what ‘distorted thoughts’ were, and how i was might have been assuming what other people were saying and/or doing. he wrote another called “Feeling Good Together”, which has helped, and still is helping, me on the way that i talk to people. (it’s only about an inch thick!lol) another book, if you are having troubles with kids is called “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen; How To Listen So Kids Will Talk”. (not sure on author).

all have and still do help me often. i do need to look back into them, or the stuff i got from my pmhw, lots, (cause i’m on high dosage of concerta, lol), so don’t give up, it can get better. i know this cause since i wrote my last post on here, i’ve made sure to re-read lots, and don’t do the ‘sucking’ action anymore!

good luck!

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

it doesn’t matter if you are to be with a person with or without adhd. there are a some things that matter greatly though.

one being the fact that the person is making sure to be willling & able to learn about adhd as much as they possibly can. we are by being on here, and possibly other sites as well, so they should do so also showing the effort & the ability also. another site that might be benificial to you, if you don’t already know about it, is http://www.momswithadd.com. (and it can be used with guys also!)

another, is by making sure that they are willing to accept you, (and your kids), whether they have adhd also or not. yes, it’s hard to have the patience to do so, but it can be done, but only by the ‘right’ person.

make sure to be yourself and have open and honest comunication. i have been, and i found a man not long ago, (well, to me!), who does have adhd, yet doesn’t take meds, as i do. i’m able to be myself, and am relaxed much more around him than i am around even family members and friends, as he is around me. yeah, i’ve got my prefrences, as does he, but we’re able to tell each other about those things without being ashamed about them. him and i have our ‘flaws’, but we’re helping each other out, and that’s what a person really needs within their spousal relationship.

also, make sure that you have the self-esteem to ‘stand-up’ for yourself before you even try to find anyone else. i had to learn that lesson the ‘hard way’. i had a very low self-esteem when i met my soon-enough ex, and i unfortunately fell into an emotional/control abusive relationship for 14 years. i didn’t know, (and am still learning how), to take care of myself and my children, but i know what the signs are within an abusive relationship, no matter what type. it’s hard for me to do some things without help right now, but i’m making sure that even though i was abused as i grew, and within my marriage, i’m making sure that to do what i can to have it so my children that are 2, 4, and 6 years of age, don’t go through what i did. only make sure to only get as much help that you can get from the ‘pros’ as you can handle. don’t overwhelm yourself by going ‘full boar’ with all at once. that can be worse than none at all.

if you want, go to http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/ and you’ll be able to see if you have been abused, (for both men and women!), and many aspects and actions that can go along with it.

i know that it is possible to find another who you can be with, and in a more happier way than you can imagine, so just make sure not to give up! good luck, and take care!

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

Me, I think a couple reasons that I’m sucking my tounge in because one of the side effects of concerta itself is the mouth becoming ‘dry’, or at least thinking it is, and/or instead of twidling our thumbs, we’re just ‘keeping busy’ doing that instead. Have you ever seen that when some babies are in front of you, they will naturally do the ‘sucking’ action, while they’re awake or dreaming? I think that maybe when the meds go to our temperal lobe, (the front part of our brains), it is stimulating not only our concious, but sub-concious actions. When I wasn’t on concerta, I didn’t do the action, but now that I am on them, it’s like a daily action.

Think of it this way, from the time we were born until the time of the meds, our minds were going ‘a mile a minute’. Now that we have the meds, we are not only relaxed more physically, but alot more emotionally, and it might be our bodies are doing what we should have way back then! lol You never know though, one or both possibilities it might be true!

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

I went for CBT through the public mental health worker, and I know it works! She went off of Dr. David D. Burns’ book “Feeling Good”. He explains things really good in there. He’s from the U.S., so it’s easier to understand! lol

Another one he wrote is called “Feeling Good Together”. It tells about how we can have better relationships with others, but make sure to go through the CBT first. I’m reading it now, and it’s hard work, but if you want to have better relationships with other adults, it’s worth it.

If you can’t get either from your library, then just look at http://www.amazon.ca and they’re both there.

Good Luck!

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

I’m a separated mom of 3 young girls and know how you all feel. I found two places on line that have helped me in more ways than one. They are http://www.flylady.net, and http://www.momswithadd.com. The various schedules, shopping lists, and planners on the first have helped not only me, but my girls also with their daily lives. The latter is great for both moms and dads who have ad/hd and/or kids with it. I have bought a few things from there, and they were worth the money.

Another thing is that I found is that melatonin has helped me get to sleep whe I’m unable to. It’s a drug the body produces but you can get it over the counter, so just talk to your doc and see how much you AND/OR your kids might be able to take.

I know that with at least one having it, my oldest has, does, and will go through many things I did. She’s already been tormented by peers and put down by other people who do and don’t know her. I also know that if I make sure to give her as much positive feedback as often as I can, then she might feel proud of herself and work on doing the best she can in all areas possible.

I also know that there is a bigger understanding of adhd than when we were kids, so as our children grow up with it, they will be able to have more help physically and/or emotionally than what we had. All we can do is see what has or has not worked for other parents and try them. That way, we know we tried our best for not only us, but our kids too.

I do hope this helped, because I know that it’s hard, but I know that things have improved in many ways in my life, and they can in your lives too!

Good Luck!

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

Hi ADDled. I’m a stay-at-home mom with three girls that are 2, 4, and 6, but I do know how you feel. I not only have ADD, but I have epilepsy and have had major depression also.

I’m understanding that you are really wanting to have a fresh start and want go as far as you can with a possible new job. That’s great!

You do not have to tell anyone that you have ADD. Many people have a very big stigmatism against it, and that’s sad.

I know that the only way that a new job will be benificial to you and your employer is by you telling them. Just wait until you are hired though. That way, you will:

a) be shown as an honest worker;

b) be given the type and amount of work that will be benificial to you and the company; and

c) at least be shown of not being ashamed of having ADD.

I went to lots of schools and had lots of jobs before becoming a mother, so I know what its like to feel like you do. Don’t belittle yourself because others are basically being the ‘bullies’ of the company! It was like that for me for most of my life, and trust me, if you start to stand up for yourself it takes tones of weight off your shoulders!! It’s hard to do, but if you start to admit not only to yourself, but others that you have ADD, you will get into the habit. And trust me, it’s worth it! Good Luck!

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

One thing you can do is to understand that it is frustrating to ‘us’ too! We’re trying our best to improve our lives as much as we can, and the ‘pat on the back’ is what helps to make the smile go the face! If you see more patience, being on time more often, remembering appointments/where the keys are/names, or any other ‘mild’ improvements, the best thing you can do is say congradulations in any way you can. This includes leaving a little note on a sticky pad, a kiss with a “Good job on your…”, etc. It might help to make it so that she’s more relaxed and not feeling like there’s no end to the search!

You might want to tell her doctor, (be it psych or regular), what the times are like if you can’t find a solution here.

But, just telling her how you feel and the both of you sitting down and coming up with a problem solver in a way that would be the best for the both of you might be the only way that can find the things to do that are helpfull!

REPORT ABUSE

[CherylW]

What I do is go and try to write a daily diary on my computer, (if I remember), to type my thoughts and feelings down not long before I go to bed. I have the worst of writing and I am continuously losing my diary book otherwise! It also helps me get the things that are going through my mind out of it for the time being so that I can sleep easier too! I try to make sure that I get everything out because if I have a problem with one of my family members, I can look back at what I wrote asap and determine whether or not it is really important for me to bring it up with them the next day! It is hard to get into the habit of doing it, but it is worth it, and I know that I have gotten to sleep alot quicker and easier by doing it!

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts