[Galadriel724]

I know this thread was started months ago and the original poster has already gone to their appt (unless they are like me and find any reason I can to avoid the dentist).
I see it from another perspective. I am a nurse and work in an outpatient clinic. Anyone with a DEA number, including dentists, has access to a Controlled Substance Prescription Monitoring Program. It includes records from about 20 states. All you need is the name and date of birth of a person, and you get a print out of all controlled substances they have filled. Not sure how far back it goes. The default is a year. This includes all prescriptions, not just the ones paid for by insurance. A lot of offices check this before they even meet you.
Most times, when you are asked about medications, they already know if you are on a controlled substance. If you lie, they know it. With a dentist, there is always the chance that you will need a pain med from them in future. If there is a trust issue, that could affect their willingness to rx a strong enough med.
I used to lie about my meds until I realized that it could only mess things up if they bothered to check.

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[Galadriel724]

I was able to copy/ paste the blog post mentioned above. I couldn’t link to it without making it public and searchable again….
It is called:
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: BEING OF HIGHER IQ YET FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED

I don’t know whether to laugh, shake my head, get really scared, or angry… Welcome to my world, and today a bit of my hell. My ADHD can impair me to the point where the fear sets in. I get so scared of so many things when this stuff happens.
I had CPR class today at 8am. I work nights and bedtime is about 6am when I’m home. After about 1am I couldn’t take my sleep meds because they zonk me for a good 6hrs- would’ve slept through the class.
So I stayed up- would have been like sleeping all day if I hadn’t. I made sure I knew what clothes I would wear. I made a list of all the things that one would bring to a CPR class. I put them in my bag, which goes on a bin by my door. Usually. Keys go on the red hook. I usually remember to put this stuff where it goes, although it will never be automatic- get rid of launch pad and I’d chuck my bag somewhere different every day.
I do the best I can, and almost just wrote how badly I want things to work, or explained all the reasons someone could want it and not just do it. Sounds like BS. I wouldn’t believe me. Really, does it matter? “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” I think Ben Franklin said that…If shit doesn’t get done, it doesn’t matter how much I tried, you don’t get credit for trying.
So after prepping and doing everything but making a specific list or generalizing the knowledge into a list of things to bring EVERY time I go out, I figured I’d gotten set up very well.
Until 7:10. I grabbed all my stuff, my keys- wait. STOP. Where were they?
I remembered cleaning the night before for hours and seeing them but not where. I searched everywhere. Then it was too late to go to the class. Called a friend to vent, but ended up in tears, as some people just don’t understand I didn’t mean to lose the keys.
Asking me why I didn’t put the keys away where they were supposed to go repeatedly and forcing me to admit that I was lazy is mean.
The conversation via text lasted 3 hrs. I looked for the keys the whole time. I was out of cigarettes, food, and was really really hungry. But I couldn’t go get food without keys.
I was unable to meet my own needs and that scared me badly. Things have been getting worse ever since I had a concussion 2 yrs ago, and I don’t know if it’s from that, but it feels like its getting worse and worse and I am not trying less.
Then as I walked towards the stairs I saw this

(IN ORIGINAL BLOG POST THERE IS A PICTURE OF MY KEYS HANGIMG ON A HOOK. NEXT TO THE HOOK HOLDING THE KEYS WAS A RED HOOK, WHICH IS WHERE TO KEYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PUT.)

I did put the keys back, and I forgot that I had done what I was supposed to do. I looked on the red key hook. That in my mind is the place the keys go. Note the lack of redness on this hook. Red hook was 18 in away. I didn’t think to look. Because the keys go on the red hook, and this one did not exist in my mind. Because it’s not red….
And keys only go on the red hook.

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[Galadriel724]

I do the same thing with the carabiner clip. I only have my house key and car key on it. Last week I was getting my oil changed (1000 miles past due but whatever) and I had to take the car key off the clip. Misplaced the house key for a day, then the car key for a day. My boyfriend let me take the extra emergency key that we have for my car. He monitors that key if I have it, which is annoying even though I actually asked him to do it…. I did find it eventually.
I missed a CPR class once because I couldn’t find my keys. The keys were on the hook next to the one that I kept my keys on. I wrote a blog post about it, but have since taken the blog off of public mode due to my job being more high profile. There is a chance it could get googled. It is a great post though, imho….
I’ll see if I can link to it or copy paste it in a reply after this one. Just shhhhhh. Don’t tell any neurotypicals about it.

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[Galadriel724]

I wouldn’t want anyone to show up at my door right now. I’m still in my PJ’s and my house looks like a disaster zone.
As far as being armed, I have 2 of them- attached to my shoulders on my left and right sides. Therefore, I can truthfully say that I am armed any time I want.

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[Galadriel724]

I would be hesitant to use a dating site that is specifically for people with disorders. Those of us with ADHD have more challenges than a lot of other people do,and we do tend to be misunderstood. I get that. I also understand the need to be around people that share the same issues. It isn’t always enough to have friends that understand you as a person because they don’t have the same struggles and are guessing what we feel like at best.
I wish there were sites geared towards meeting friends with ADHD. The existing support groups in my area are geared towards parents of kids with ADHD. I have gone onto meetup.com because that is usually a good place to meet other like minded individuals but there is also nothing in my area.
When it comes to the dating sites (I have been on match.com, okcupid and plenty of fish in the past 4 yrs) I have found some interesting differences and may be able to provide some insight.
First of all, I stayed the hell away from anyone whose profile mentioned any disorder prominently. There are ways to fit that in, if you want. I just described myself. I am more than my disorder and I try not to announce it as my identity. It’s pretty apparent once you are around me, but dating is kinda risky that way. Your date likes you or they don’t. I don’t want to date someone that thinks their disorder is their identity.
It is different in every place I’m sure (I lived in another state and match.com was ok- it sucks where I live now). The best insight I can give into the sites is this. On okcupid I met guys who shared interests that were so similar to mine that they gave me chills, in a good way. 2 of my best friends in the world were dates from there. One I dated for a while and then stayed friends. The other I didn’t date for long because he was so much like me that I wanted to be his friend for a really long time, but he has a drinking problem and I didn’t want to get sucked into an unhealthy dynamic. His adhd is not treated.We have lunch at least once a week,and I go to his place when I want to relax and be in someone elses clutter. Most people that I know who have been on okcupid also found it great for meeting people that were a great match for hanging out, but not necessarily dating. The questions they ask match interests but not so much romantically.
I met my boyfriend on plenty of fish. It wasn’t on purpose, a friend didn’t get the concept so I set up a profile to show her how it worked. I was going to shut it down but there was one guy who emailed me who I figured I would go out with once before I stopped. I had gotten a cat and decided to be a crazy cat lady and stop trying to meet the right guy for a while. He ended up being my guy. Been together 2 yrs this month, moved in together a year ago. He has ADHD. Neither of us mentioned it in our profiles. It just worked out that way.
I suggest ok cupid for meeting people who will understand you, and yes, meeting consists of dates but the results are friends, which anyone can use more of, if they are the good kind….
Last part. Do NOT mention any personality disorders in your profile. Huge red flag. Be positive about your good qualities and clear about what type of person you want to be with. Keep an open mind. And never, ever tell them where you live. There are people out there that you either like enough that you’ll want to clean your place before they see it, or who are so creepy that you don’t want them showing up, ever.

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[Galadriel724]

That’s awesome! I talked with my boyfriend and he told me that the plan had originally been for them to stay at a resort because they said they got a really cheap rate, wanted to go there anyways, and were supposed to entertain themselves- seeing us over the weekend and staying for the weekend only, which is what I thought. BUT then they called him last week, said they would only be in town for 5 days, and were skipping the resort and just staying with us. I think I got the wrong impression when he sprung that on me while we were out to dinner with his parents.
So the torturing, I was considering myself. But I have to be undercover. Little things that would be uncomfortable for them to complain about because they would be so small that it would make them look like a**holes. A friend suggested short sheeting the beds, but I was thinking cayenne pepper on the toilet seat in the guest bath would be interesting.
I’ve never lived in a house big enough or nice/not destroyed by me enough for guests. It came as a benefit with my boyfriend. He didn’t realize it when he remodeled it but he kinda set it up ADHD friendly. He has always had a rigidly controlled environment that prevented overwhelm. Til I came along anyway. The fridge beeps if you leave it open among other things. It is hard though, to live with someone who gets annoyed when a cabinet is left open. My apartment was typical ADHD chaos, with science projects in sink and fridge. I wish he knew where I was when I met him- he would know how far I’ve come, and maybe be less negative when he is annoyed about the chaos.

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[Galadriel724]

Oh, and I forgot to mention- it looks like they expect us to entertain them pretty much the whole time.
I got that impression when they called earlier and asked if they needed to rent a car, then complained about the high cost. They have $.
Maybe they don’t know that Phoenix (where we live) lacks decent public transportation, does not have all of the cool stuff in one area, and that we live in an area that is basically suburbia with none of the really amazing things close by. Or that my boyfriend has a 2 seater car, and that I drive about 100 miles a day for my job, and cannot be counted on to get out on time, or to finish early. I will be leaving at 7am and not returning until 6pm unless I need to walk the puppy at lunch for 2 of the 4 days they will be here.
They seem high maintenance. However, they are not my family and I should probably put him in charge of babysitting them. I just know if he doesn’t and they end up having a crappy time it will suck for me too.
And re: the hotel, they were going to stay at one. He told them not to and invited them to stay with us without consulting me. I can’t change that now though. He won’t do that again if he knows what’s good for him.

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[Galadriel724]

Yeah, this is pretty much a nightmare and my boyfriend is not making it easier. He actually said to me “I will not address anything else until the house is totally clean.” When I asked what his criteria was, since we have to live in the house for the next few days and will be using dishes, etc, he said the worst possible thing “It has to be perfect. You have to have everything put away, including the bedroom, and your walk in closet.” He is almost OCD clean and there is no arguing without a major blow up.
I am the opposite and will totally freeze from overwhelm when too much is asked of me. I put my own pressure on myself that is far greater and more useful, anything added will shut me down.
These people are among the most important in his life, this will be the first time I meet them. I get overwhelmed in social situations so am already stressing. Even worse, my bitchcave (the room that I made him give me when I moved in to have as messy as I wanted and escape to), is going to be used as a guest room. I have been told that, although I keep almost all of my clothing and toiletries in it, I will not be allowed to enter it the entire time they are here.
Update- I started writing this a few hrs ago but put it aside when he started to get bossy about me “wasting time” online. Since then he has calmed considerably. That has helped, but I still know that if I don’t finish he will be pissy and bring it up. Hate cleaning for someone else- I do much better when I am doing it because I want less chaos for myself….
I found some lists online when I searched “preparing for houseguests”. One is simple and reasonable. The other cracked me up. I will not be providing chocolates and candles in the bedrooms. This isn’t a bed and breakfast. I probably wouldn’t have realized I needed to give them an extra house key though. Yay for Real Simple’s lists!

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[Galadriel724]

Hmmmm, that didn’t go as planned- should have resized, but if you click the picture it comes out ok.

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[Galadriel724]

Thinking about the shiny object concept and just realized something. I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots before. On my birthday in July my coworkers decorated my office.
I’m attempting to put the photobucket link in here:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v400/galadriel724/d0e87b9c-532d-4b4b-b95c-88e8b60b5c2b.jpg
Haven’t done this in a while- usually just copy the actual pic…
I seriously didn’t connect this with the shiny object cliche. Not sure how I could have missed it.
EDITED WITH RESIZED PIC, IGNORE NEXT POST.

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[Galadriel724]

I too have some amazing friends. One day I commented that it must be painful to watch me exist, and the one I was with agreed. I had just, in a PMS induced bit of utter chaos, barreled into a line of senior citizens at the grocery store, then realized it looked like I must be a really rude person, so I did a spectacular prat fall pulling down a display of Cheetos taller than me, just so it wouldn’t look like I didn’t care about old people or something. I don’t know what the something was that they thought about me but I bet it had nothing to do with being rude to old people.
This weekend I made up my mind to declutter and wanted to be prepared and not get overwhelmed when I started. So I figured that instead of using a decluttering checklist I had online, I would find a flowchart. So,done must have made one…. Except no one had. So I decided to. I have never made a flow chart and am not by any means able to do more than basic stuff on Microsoft office. But an hr later I had some really pretty boxes on a page. Then I realized I had no content. So I carefully wrote the whole contents down in text. The flow chart isn’t done because I still need to find a free app or something that makes it easy. I didn’t get around to following my own directions because the weekend was over. And, now, I should be finishing with my documentation that I didn’t bother to finish from work, but instead and typing this and pondering looking for that flow chart app some more.
Oh, and once I bought movie tickets online, and when the machine didn’t recognize my card at the theater had a mini panic about which bill I must have forgotten that got deducted and made them shut my card down. Then I realized I was at the wrong theater. My friend shook his head, said “BAD MEAN TICKET ROBOT!” And drove us to the right theater.

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[Galadriel724]

Sorry for the late reply… I’ve been busy with… you guessed it- work.
After the clinical coordinator (CC) was sacked, it was looking bad- he did a lot of the administrative stuff, such as writing the court docs necessary to enforce the court ordered treatment plans. He should have been making people do this stuff for their own caseload and making sure it was done.
People got lazy. Now the upper management have been sitting in on daily meetings and specifically holding the CM’s responsible for their stuff and people seemed to magically remember how to do their jobs.
That makes things easier for me. I can concentrate on overseeing the medical care and appointments and not being responsible for all of them. I am still busy but have a better handle on things.
I have also started holding people (like the program assistant) accountable for getting the right people into my office when they need to be, and not when it is convenient for the CM’s. It is looking better. Amazing how things get done when you CC the grand poobah on emails.
As far as accommodations, it is not a good idea to request them in my field. At least not the ones that require that extra personnel be hired or existing ones inconvenienced. I think that making people do their jobs and not leaving me to cover everybody will be enough. I’m going to give it a chance anyway.
I did request an accommodation at one job and it helped a lot. It was just a matter of posting a sign on the med room window that told the patients to leave me alone while I poured meds and ask the other nurse for help if they had an emergency. I also got to wear earbuds while I prepped the meds for the bedtime med pass. It ended up helping everybody. Distactions were a big issue for all staff and it reduced them.

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[Galadriel724]

Based on my experience, I would not go cold turkey. Not sure whether my distress was caused by return of symptoms or not though. I get foul, overwhelmed, and cry at the drop of a hat when I stop mine.

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[Galadriel724]

I just bought a Kindle- the one that is $50 for a refurb, has no touchscreen and isn’t backlit. Mainly because I have an iphone and a laptop and am tired of using them to read. My sister has one and I like it. I need a lamp on to see the screen if it’s dark. It is about the same brightness as a paperback book.
It is totally safe for reading in bed. I didn’t buy it for that reason, but am damn glad I have it now that I have watched the sleep video. Also, it does work on wifi, only needs to be charged once a week or so. I highly recommend it.
I had forgetten how quickly I used to fall asleep reading.

I have wondered the same thing about the audiobooks. In my case I only have ones that are interesting enough to keep my brain busy while I do dishes and boring stuff, so I wouldn’t use them to try to go to sleep.

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[Galadriel724]

My boyfriend has ADHD, and so do I. Mine is more obvious though, so he has to do a lot more coping in the sense that you do. We are both reading “The ADHD Effect on Marriage” by Melissa Orlov. So far the suggestions seem on target. She seems to have a good understanding of the issues. I recommend it.

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